History Film / Water

[[quoteright:169:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/water_85_120.jpg]]
Baxter Thwaites (MichaelCaine) is governor of Cascara, a [[NothingExcitingEverHappensHere long-forgotten]] British colony in the Caribbean. His peaceful life is disturbed only by his shrill wife and the Cascaran Liberation Front -- a rebel group that no one takes seriously because it only consists of two people, one of whom (Delgado Fitzhugh, played by Creator/BillyConnolly) communicates solely through (bad) singing.

But when an abandoned oil rig starts delivering pure mineral water, Cascara suddenly has a valuable resource that Downing Street, the White House, French mercenaries, Cuban guerrillas, and an American oil company will do anything to obtain.

Not to be confused with the less light-hearted Deepa Mehta film of the same name. Nor the [[VideoGame/{{Water}} artistic Half-Life 2 mod]] of the same name.
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!!This film provides examples of:

* AffablyEvil: The mercenary commander
* ApatheticCitizens:
-->"Fidel says Cuba will shed blood for revolution of downtrodden people anywhere. But your people are too downtrodden even for Cuba!"
* {{Cameo}}: Features a performance by a (fictional) charity band "The Singing Rebels" featuring both GeorgeHarrison and RingoStarr -- rarely seen together since the break-up of Music/TheBeatles -- together with [[Music/DeepPurple Jon Lord]], EricClapton, and Billy Connolly on vocals.
-->'''TV director:''' "That's err...Ringo Whosit...and George Whatsit! It's Whosit and Whatsit, back together again!"
* ContestWinnerCameo: [[TheBBC BBC]] television presenter Paul Heiney played the French mercenary commander, as part of the "In at the Deep End" series.
* ChekhovsVolcano: Averted. There's constant talk of the island's volcano erupting, but it never does.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Anyone working for Spenco.
** Additionally, the French water company executive who makes no bones about the reason why she's employing mercenaries to destroy the Spenco well: money.
* CovertPervert: Reverend Eric Fitzhugh
-->'''Eric:''' "Am I never to be forgiven for one moment of weakness?"
-->'''Baxter:''' "According to our latest census you've had at least fourteen moments of weakness, Eric."
** Also Sir Malcolm is always insisting his women dress up in NaughtyNun and [[StTrinians schoolgirl]] costumes.
* DeadlineNews: Not strictly an example of this trope, but close.
-->'''American TV presenter:''' "The man they call the Singing Rebel is still at liberty. And in this remote and inhospitable terrain, he could be in one of a thousand places. ''(The CLF walk out of the bushes behind him, holding their [=AK47s=])'' Why do you guys have your hands in the air...uhh..."
* DeadpanSnarker: Baxter is the champion at this. The DJ and Pepito have their moments, too
* {{Eagleland}}
* ExactWords: Delgado swore he wouldn't speak until Cascara is free. So he sings. Badly
* FailedAttemptAtDrama
-->'''DJ:''' "Newsflash! In a daring raid, Delgado Fitzhugh and Garfield Cooper seized Radio Cascara and [[RousingSpeech urged the people to take to the streets!]] ''(looks out the window with binoculars)'' [[DeadpanSnarker They didn't]].
** Baxter threatens to blow up the well by lighting the dynamite strapped to Garfield, but can't get his cigarette lighter to work. Then Garfield [[{{fainting}} faints on him]].
* FictionalCountry : Cascara as the obligatory stereotypical British Caribbean overseas territory.
* FreudianExcuse: Reverend Fitzhugh thinks Delgado is a rebel out of revenge for not marrying his mother. Also environmental activist Pamela Weintraub, daughter of the Spenco CEO.
-->"Baxter, I ''have'' been trying to get back at my father, but I think I've a good reason for it. Dad's a prick."
* ForeignQueasine: When Sir Malcolm meets Delgado and Garfield in the prison, they're eating a soup which can also be made into rope, if need be.
* FunWithAcronyms: T.I.T. -- the three vital elements of insurgency (Terror, Infiltration, Television).
* FunWithForeignLanguages
-->'''Spenco Executive:''' ''(with exaggerated hand movements)'' "DO-YOU-SPEAK-EN-GL-ISH?"
-->'''Garfield:''' "I do, but my comrade will not speak until he can say Cascara is free."
-->'''Executive:''' "Is that a political posture or a speech impediment?"
* GranolaGirl: Pamela
* GoingNative: Governor Baxter Thwaites, to the extent of eventually [[EnemyMine joining up]] with the Cascaran Liberation Front to fight for the island's independence.
* HeyItsThatGuy: Alfred Molina as one of the mercenaries.
* IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace: Baxter shows Pamela the sights, all of which have names like Cape Danger, Mount Pestilence and Shipwreck Point.
* ImprovisedZipline: The CLF attack the radio station by sliding down the telephone wire (even though they could have simply walked up to the door). Billy Connolly misjudges his distance and goes crashing through the roof.
* IncrediblyLamePun: Spenco is recruiting the locals for their well when Delgado turns up and starts singing his protest.
-->'''Spenco Executive:''' Who ''is'' that man?
-->'''Reverend Fitzhugh''' That's my son, my son.
-->'''Executive:''' You mean you're his father, Father?
* IronicEchoCut
-->'''TV Presenter:''' "Once again American soldiers have set foot on foreign soil, in a land which -- until last week -- they had never heard of. Many of them are searching their hearts and asking: Why are we here?"
-->(Cut to soldier asking his commanding officer: "Sir, why are we here?")
* LandInTheSaddle: The CLF discover that [[GroinAttack trying this with bicycles is a bad idea]].
* MyCard: After nearly throttling Baxter to death, the mercenary commander leaves him his card. "If you are in need of an army, just call."
* NationalAnthem: The Cascarans imitate various swimming styles when singing this, as the islanders were all descended from shipwrecked sailors.
* NiceHat: Baxter complains that his feathered dress helmet makes him feel like he has a live chicken on his head. When he discovers that Britain is abandoning the colony, he chucks the helmet into the sea.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Delgado breaks his oath mot to speak because he can't think of anything that rhymes with bomb.
* OneManArmy
-->'''Thatcher:''' "I have learnt that there is a dissident element on the island, one Delgado Fitzhugh."
-->'''Sir Malcolm:''' "He is but one man..."
-->'''Thatcher:''' "Ghandi was one man! A single looney in a loincloth and we lost the entire Indian subcontinent!"
* OneWordTitle
* ThePowerOfRock: Delgado appeals to the United Nations Assembly to grant Cascara's independence by singing to them. Unfortunately he's a DreadfulMusician so they're not impressed, until a cameo appearance by some former Beatles saves the day.
* PrivateMilitaryContractors: The French Secret Service hire mercenaries to blow up the well.
-->'''French agent:''' "This is a dangerous mission, and some of you will die. But remember, in a world gone mad, you will die for a principle that you all hold close to your heart. Money!"
-->'''Mercenaries:''' "Viva franc! Viva deutschmark! Viva dollar! Viva [[SwissBankAccount numbered bank account in Switzerland]]!"
* ReallyGetsAround: Pastor Fitzhugh apparently has 14 illegitimate children on Cascara
* ReassignedToAntarctica: Baxter was assigned to Cascara after his wife danced topless at a reception for the Duke of Edinburgh.
* ShurFineGuns: Sir Malcolm's visit is commemorated with a salute from the island's ancient cannon. It blows up instead.
* SomeonesTouchingMyButt: When Baxter and Pamela Weintraub are tied to a tree by Cuban guerillas, Baxter has to inform her that it's not his ''lighter'' she's grabbed to burn the ropes.
* TheStoner: The only crop that hasn't failed on Cascara is marijuana. Even the Governor has his own garden of "heavy duty herbs".
-->'''Rev. Fitzhugh:''' "I suppose they all want to go where the grass is greener."
-->'''Baxter:''' ''(smoking a joint)'' "They'll find it a lot more expensive."
* TakeThat: At colonialism, ColdWar politics, MargaretThatcher and RonaldReagan.
* TemptingFate
-->'''Sir Malcolm''' (giving a TV interview): "This island has always been a model of civility and tranquility."
-->''(RPG-7 rocket blows up a building behind him)''
* TitleThemeTune
-->''Water! Water! Look what you brought into my life''
-->''Water! Water! You're a misery to me''
* WalkInChimeIn: Baxter catches a mercenary setting explosives on the well.
-->'''Baxter:''' Who send you? Why are you here?
-->''{The mercenary commander charges up behind Baxter and starts to throttle him)''
-->'''Commander:''' For the bloodshed, and the money!
* WelcomeToTheCaribbeanMon: Played straight, but often subverted. It was filmed on St. Lucia, which [[UsefulNotes/TheCaribbean gained independence from the UK]] only 5-6 years before the movie hit theaters. Similarly to Cascara, St. Lucia was quite poor back then.
** One subversion is that Cascara is apparently worthless for tourism: it has no beaches and there is a constant wind blowing everywhere making it impossible to play bridge.
* WeNeedADistraction: So he can get the jump on the Cubans, Baxter tells Pamela to look like he'd escaped from his bonds and ravished her. After rearranging her clothes to effect this illusion, the two of them [[DistractedByTheSexy start ravishing each other for real]].
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** Baxter threatens to blow up the well, but can't get his cigarette lighter to work.

* FastRoping: The CLF attack the radio station by sliding down the telephone wire (even though they could have simply walked up to the door). Billy Connolly misjudges his distance and goes crashing through the roof.

* ForeignQueasine: when Sir Malcolm meets Delgado and Garfield in the prison, they're eating a soup which can also be made into rope, if need be.
* FunWithAcronyms: T.I.T., the three vital elements of insurgency (Terror, Infiltration, Television).

* IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace: Baxter shows Pamela the sights, all of which have names like Cape Danger and Shipwreck Point.

-->'''DJ:''' "Newsflash! In a daring raid, Delgado Fitzhugh and Garfield Cooper seized Radio Cascara and [[RousingSpeech urged the people to take to the streets!]] ''(looks out the window with binoculars)'' [[ApatheticCitizens They didn't]].
** All of this delivered in a complete deadpan

-->'''DJ:''' "Newsflash! In a daring raid, Delgado Fitzhugh and Garfield Cooper seized Radio Cascara and [[RousingSpeech urged the people to take to the streets!]] ''(looks out the window with binoculars)'' They didn't.

Baxter Thwaites (MichaelCaine) is governor of Cascara, a [[NothingExcitingEverHappensHere long-forgotten]] British colony in the Caribbean. His peaceful life is disturbed only by his shrill wife and the Cascaran Liberation Front -- a rebel group that no one takes seriously because it only consists of two people, one of whom (Delgado Fitzhugh, played by BillyConnolly) communicates solely through (bad) singing.

** Additionally, the French water company executive who makes no bones about the reason why she's employing mercenaries to destroy the Spenco well: money

* ForeignQueasine: when Sir Malcolm meets Delgado and Garfield in the prison, they're eating a soup which can also be made into rope, if need be

* HeyItsThatGuy: Alfred Molina as one of the mercenaries
* IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace: Baxter shows Pamela the sights, all of which consist of names like Cape Danger and Shipwreck Point.

* MyCard: After nearly throttling Baxter to death, the mercenary commander leaves him his card.
-->"If you are in need of an army, just call."

* {{Cameo}}: Features a performance by a (fictional) charity band "The Singing Rebels" featuring both GeorgeHarrison and RingoStarr -- rarely seen together since the break-up of Music/TheBeatles -- together with [[DeepPurple Jon Lord]], EricClapton, and Billy Connolly on vocals.

Not to be confused with the less light-hearted Deepa Mehta film of the same name.

^ ReallyGetsAround: Pastor Fitzhugh apparently has 14 illegitimate children on Cascara

* {{Cameo}}: Features a performance by a (fictional) charity band "The Singing Rebels" featuring both GeorgeHarrison and RingoStarr -- rarely seen together since the break-up of TheBeatles -- together with [[DeepPurple Jon Lord]], EricClapton, and Billy Connolly on vocals.

* DeadpanSnarker: Baxter is the champion at this. The DJ has his moments, too

* WeNeedADistraction: So he can get the jump on the Cubans, Baxter tells Pamela to look like he'd escaped from his bonds and ravished her. After rearranging her clothes to effect this illusion, the two of them start ravishing each other for real.

* IncrediblyLamePun: Spenco is recruiting the locals for the well when Delgado turns up and starts singing his protest.