History Fanfic / LegolasByLaura

** {{Neologism}}: "... and then Legolas was happy for somerising."

The story can be found [[http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here]], courtesy of the ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum. TVTropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.[[hottip:*: [[DrivenToSuicide *Cttttlik!* *BANG!*]] ]] The [[http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings]] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by TheFanFictionCritic for it, which might help more. And now a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IECKGp-tLb0 live-action trailer]], complete with ''MyChemicalRomance'' and a baffling shoutout to ''{{Megatokyo}}''. God help us all. There's also a riffing found [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5948484/9/Mystery_Science_Theater_1000 here]]

--->'''Legolas:''' "They bet you up and raped you. Also the Dark Lord gave you the poison."
--->'''Laura:''' "How did you know that?"
--->'''Legolas:''' "When I was your age they did the same thing to me."

* YouFailGeographyForever: Mirkwood is ''not'' five minutes' walk away from Mordor, and Rivendell is on the ''opposite'' side of Mirkwood behind a moutain range. Then again, as far as we know, "Mondor" might be quite close to "Milkwood".

* RapeIsTheNewDeadParents

* InformedAbility: Laura's "power" with which "she can distoy us all the bad guys" is never actually used or defined more clearly. Perhaps it's like being [[{{Labyrinth}} the babe with the power]] or something.

* SmallNo: "And then they said: 'Let Laura go!' And then the Dark Lord said 'no'."

A few more hours pass, and Legolas and laura are on their way back to "Milkwood". She gets sick, and Legolas diverts the party to Rivendell, also a few hours away from "Milkwood".

* AntiClimax: It never got finished. Good.

* RapeAsDrama: No. Just...no.

* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: The "Posion" given to Laura by Sauron doesn't seem to do anything to her. Possibly because she has that "power that can distoy us all the bad guys".
** In a slight defence of this, maybe that was why she was "bruning up" and they had to go to Rivendell? Because Rivendell is totally on [[{{YouFailGeographyForever}} the way from Mirkwood to Mordor]].

* {{Lolicon}}: Laura is supposed to be ten, yet the hundreds-of-years-old elf Legolas agrees to "be her boyfriend".
** Elves don't seem to have a big problem with intergenerational relationships. Arwen is the daughter of Elrond, whose brother Elros was the great-to-the-fortieth-or-so grandfather of Aragorn. She's very definitely hundreds of years older than he is, and nobody says boo about it. When you're 500, there's probabably a tendency to feel "eh, 10, 19, 40, what's the difference?"
*** There is a difference between adults of different ages and lifespans and a pre-pubescent or pubescent child. All the mixed-race couples fell for each other when the respective chronologically younger party was already post-puberty and clearly adult (not to mention that Aragorn's also [[OlderThanTheyLook older than he looks]], being in his ''late eighties'' and of a race of Men that can live for over 200 years). Even the human peoples associated with the Elves do not marry children that young (Aragorn's grandfather had scruples about letting his 22-year-old daughter marry on account of still being considered rather young to, among other things.).
* {{Neologism}}: "... and then Legolas was happy for somerising."

** The most popular one is by Troper/ManWithoutABody with a video to go with it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMbjK1m6alg here]].

'''Legolas:''' "They bet you up and raped you."
'''Laura:''' "How did you know?"
'''Legolas:''' "When I was your age they did the same thing to me."

* ColdBloodedTorture: In order, everytime, both Laura ''and'' Legolas were 'bet' up, raped, and then were given poison.

----
<<|DescribeTopicHere|>>
<<|FanFic/FanFics|>>

-->Johnny (Legolas): Where the hell is my periods and commas?

--> Johnny: When you hire 'gards', this stuff is bound to happen.

--> Shania: Gah! Legolas has turned into a stereotypical gay guy!

-> Shania: Isn't that Elvish for "Obvious love interest"?

-> Shania: Imagine the length of the original story if they had that.

-> Alice: Oh, it looks like Laura needs to learn how to share.

->Johnny (Legolas): Where the hell is my periods and commas?

-> Johnny: When you hire 'gards', this stuff is bound to happen.

-> Shania: Gah! Legolas has turned into a stereotypical gay guy!

* {{Narm}}: Just LOOK at it.

** That [[FridgeLogic may actually not be a problem.]] See bilingual bonus below. (though it might not have been intentional).

*** There is a difference between adults of different ages and lifespans and a pre-pubescent or pubescent child. All the mixed-race couples fell for each other when the respective chronologically younger party was already post-puberty and clearly adult (not to mention that he's also [[OlderThanTheyLook older than he looks]], being in his ''late eighties'' and of a race of Men that can live for over 200 years). Even the human peoples associated with the Elves do not marry children that young (Aragorn's grandfather had scruples about letting his 22-year-old daughter marry on account of still being considered rather young to, among other things.).

*** There is a difference between adults of different ages and lifespans and a pre-pubescent or pubescent child. All the mixed-race couples fell for each other when the respective chronologically younger party was already post-puberty and clearly adult. Even the human peoples associated with the Elves do not marry children that young (Aragorn's grandfather had scruples about letting his 22-year-old daughter marry on account of still being considered rather young to, among other things.).

*** There is a difference between adults of different ages and lifespans and a pre- or pubertating child. All the mixed-race couples fell for each other when the respective chronologically younger party was already post-puberty and clearly adult. Even the human peoples associated with the Elves do not marry children that young (Aragorn's grandfather had scruples about letting his 22-year-old daughter marry on account of still being considered rather young to, among other things.).

The story can be found [[http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here]], courtesy of the ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum. TVTropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.[[hottip:*: [[DrivenToSuicide *Cttttlik!* *BANG!*]] ]] The [[http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings]] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by TheFanFictionCritic for it, which might help more. And now a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IECKGp-tLb0 live-action trailer]], complete with ''MyChemicalRomance'' and a baffling shoutout to ''{{Megatokyo}}''. God help us all.

* AntiClimax
* BeigeProse

* ColdBloodedTorture

* NoPunctuationPeriod

* RapeAsDrama

* IKEAErotica: "and then one of the orcs striped her and then he raped her and then laura said 'go away you bastard'."

The story can be found [[http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here]], courtesy of the ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum. TVTropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.[[hottip:*: [[DrivenToSuicide *Cttttlik!* *BANG!*]] ]] The [[http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings]] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by TheFanFictionCritic for it, which might help more. And now a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IECKGp-tLb0 live-action trailer]]! God help us all.

The story can be found [[http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here]], courtesy of the ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum. TVTropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.[[hottip:*: [[DrivenToSuicide *Cttttlik!* *BANG!*]] ]] The [[http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings]] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by TheFanFictionCritic for it in that same list which might help more.

* YouFailGeographyForever: Mirkwood is ''not'' five minutes' walk away from Mordor. Then again, as far as we know, "Mondor" might be quite close to "Milkwood".

* CurbStompBattle: Gandalf and ''Sauron''.
** Well, actually... if you're familiar with the backstory, this isn't necessarily as one-sided a match as you might think if you just saw the movie. Gandalf and Sauron are both beings of the same order (the Maiar... basically, angels, though Sauron is very definitely of the "fallen" brand).

The story can be found [[http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here]], courtesy of the ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum. TVTropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.[[hottip:*: [[DrivenToSuicide *Cttttlik!* *BANG!*]] ]] The [[http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings]] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review for it in that same list which might help more.

* YouFailGeographyForever: Mirkwood is ''not'' within walking distance of Mordor, though as far as we know, "Mondor" might be quite close to "Milkwood".
** Except that Mirkwood and Rivendell are about the same distance from Mordor, and Frodo and Sam at least ''do'' walk most of the way. They do cover about a third of the overall distance on the river, but the fact that they had to mostly walk from the Shire to Rivendell in the first place kinda makes up for it. I'm not saying you'd ''want'' to walk it. I'm saying it's not entirely out of the question.