History Fanfic / HecksingUlumateCrconikals

* DrillSergantNasty: The first of Pip's [[DemotedToExtra two lines in the fan fic]] imply that he is like this.

* [[spoiler:AldophHitler: It's a badfic of a series with Nazis as the main villain. Him being the BiggerBad is kind of a given.]]

** [[spoiler:Integra forces her comrads to let over four hundred mooks slaughter the United Kingdoms of London in chapter 8. The very next chapter, she gets killed by Lawyer Guy.]]

## Hitler.

Also involved is a martian rockster ParodyStu, Carl, who's [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed a blatant reference to]] CharlieSheen[=/=][[TwoAndAHalfMen Charlie Harper]], the Major crossdressing as a part of a ShowWithinAShow, a giant, mutaint Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutaint Creator/DavidHasselhoff, and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized MsFanservice.

* AuthorAppeal: Great Pikmin Fan likes ''Total Drama'', ''Homestuck'' (starting after he published chapter 4), and as his username implies ''Pikmin''. Let's just leave it at that. The sexual variant of this trope is parodied with Rip.

* DemotedToExtra: Anyone who isn't Seras or Rip. Pip is by far the worst offender, getting only ''two lines'' before Carl's spaceship falls on him.

** Chapter 5 has Integra's flashback (which is actually from Alucard's perspective for the most part), where it says that Alucard's older brother wanted to "manhood" him when he turned old enough. It's supposed to mean something along the lines of "put him through family tradition and make him become a villain," but the way it was written just sounds... well... like [[BrotherSisterIncest something else]].

** Giant Mutaint Homer Simpson. Literally only serves as someone for Master Chief to kill so that Integra can hire them as Alucard's replacement.

** Lawyer Guy. He has no connections with Hitler revival groups (which doesn't make sense since nearly every other "evil organization" does), isn't mentioned before or after, [[ForTheEvulz has no backstory]], and ultimatley just seemed like an excuse to [[spoiler:get Integra killed.]] Lampshaded when the narrator says that the chapter he appears in is borderline filler.

* {{Bishonen}}: The fan fic describes Alucard and Luke as this. To the extent that when Alucard kills Luke, he says "[[PirateSpeak Ar]], there be only won bishie [[NoFourthWall in this fan fic!]]" Carl, though, is ''not'' bishonen, and the narrator would like to point out.

* VerbalTic: Quimby begins every sentence with "er a um," Alucard [[PirateSpeak talks like a stereotypical pirate]] and a "wise mentor," and Hitler talks like [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Eridan]].[[labelnote:Note]]Confusingly, Eridan himself appears in ''Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals'', but does ''not'' speak in his quirk. Nor does any other teen who had a quirk.[[/labelnote]]

* AnyoneCanDie: Unless either your name is Carl or you have "nice boos." Though if you count becoming a vampire/familiar as a death, then ''every major character'' has died at one point in the story.

* DrillSargeantNasty: The first of Pip's [[DemotedToExtra two lines in the fan fic]] imply that he is like this.

* LargeHam: '''''Everyone''''' has a point where they shout in all caps. Even unnamed characters. Rip avoids this until near the end of chapter 13.

* WebcomicTime: Chapters 1-12 take place within the span of ''one week''.[[note]]Chapters 1 and 2 take place in Day 1 (1 takes place in the night, 2 the following day); 3 takes place in Day 2; 4-7 take place in Day 3; 8 and 9 take in place Day 4; and 10-12 take place in Day 5.[[/note]]

** John and Jade had OppositeSexClone[=s=] of themselves created after a lab accident. They also run a show (a clip of which is seen briefly in Rip's award show), and [[BrotherSisterIncest have gotten married and had kids.]]

* DesignatedHero: Seras. In this fic, she contributes almost nothing, doesn't actually kill any member of the Millennium[[labelnote:Note]]Alucard killed Luke. Carl killed Jan and Tubalcain. Integra killed Walter. Kamina killed Doctor and Captain. Rip killed Major. Schrodinger and [[spoiler:Hitler]] were tricked into being killed by eachother, technically a feat pulled by all three of the remaining Hecksing members but it was ultimatley Carl who did it. It's implied that Seras had several kills over the thirty years, but that makes her actual heroism (barring taking out Yumie) an OffscreenMomentOfAwesome.[[/labelnote]], abuses and insults her own teammates, and acts as an uncontrolled ragaholoic.

* AllMenArePerverts: Carl, Quimby, and side character John Egbert (and/or his character in a ShowWithinAShow; supposedly HHC will clear up on whether the actual character is like this) show this. Carl is constantly hitting on every woman we sees, Quimby is an outright womanizer, and John's character peeks up the skirt of Jade's character during said show.

* BrickJoke: Within the first set of chapters, [[WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland Noah]] is reffered to as being "from a different anime" twice. This gag seems to have been abandoned until the very last line before the closing AN.

* ShowWithinAShow: A few, three of them have been seen within the fic. The first is ''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy''. The second is a StylisticSuck (yes, even compared to HUC) series made by the Millennium. The third is one by [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} John Egbert and Jade Harley]][[hottip:*:No, Rose and Dave do not appear or even get mention at all in this fan fic, but they, the trolls, and the Felt are planned to be in ''Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals''.]] and is losley based off of their respective interests. (And ''EdEddNEddyTheMisEdventures''.) Also, one of Pikmin Fan's [[FanFic/TotalFanServiceSeries other fan fics]] is also a series, but it was not seen as the clip of it wasn't ready yet.

* StylisticSuck:
** The spelling, grammar, and organization actually gets ''better'' as the fic goes on, an inversion of a common TrollFic trend, but it's still pretty bad.

** What little has been seen of John and Jade's show pretty much ammounts to a [[TakeThat jab]] at one of the mechanics of ''VideoGame/EdEddNEddyTheMisEdventures''.

* VerbalTic: Quimby begins every sentence with "er a um," Alucard talks like a stereotypical pirate and a "wise mentor," and Hitler talks like [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Eridan]].

** Hecksing is appearantly also a band. And their Pikmin have replaced the Wild Geese/Hecksing Guards.

** Chapter 5 has Integra's flashback (which is actually from Alucard's perspective for the most part), where it says that Alucard's older brother wanted to "manhood" him when he turned old enough. It's supposed to mean something along the lines of "put him through family tradition and become a villain," but the way it was written just sounds... well... like [[BrotherSisterIncest something else]].

[[caption-width-right:220:Yeah, [[CrackFic it's]] [[StylisticSuck a]] [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed little]] [[CrackPairing like]] [[Film/UndercoverBrother that.]]]]

Also involved is a martian rockster ParodyStu, Carl, who's [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed a blatant reference to]] CharlieSheen[=/=][[Series/TwoAndAHalfMen Charlie Harper]], the Major crossdressing as a part of a ShowWithinAShow, a giant, mutaint Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutaint Creator/DavidHasselhoff, and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized MsFanservice.

* FreudianSlip: In chapter 8, Carl asks Jan if he was the guy [[spoiler:who killed Alucard. Except the exact quote [[FoeYay was if he "fucked Alucard," with the "up" that should have been in there missing]]. Thankfully, Jan answers that by saying that he killed him]], getting rid of any ambiguity in Carl's question.

* NightmareRetardant: Invoked. This is a ''Hellsing'' fan fic meant to look like it was done by an over-energetic thirteen year old with little writting skills, so this is a given. It gets especially bad in chapters 6 and 7.

* OneWingedAngel: Walter [[spoiler:turns out to be a fallen angel, and reveals this form shortly after Rip appeared to have killed him. Too bad he gets ran over by Integra right after.]]

* WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids: Parodied/invoked. The first chapter was supposedly rated K+[[hottip:*:The fan fic was always rated "T."]], which explains why Hellsing is called "Hecksing" and why Alucard cuts off Anderson from swearing. Eight chapters full of unfriendly deaths and (offscreen) sex, and we have the Captain's "actor" ''telling kids not to pick up random mushrooms'', something which should be obvious to anyone reading the fan fic.

A semi-sequel, ''Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals'', is planned to be released on the annaversary of HUC's first chapter. It takes place in the same universe as HUC, and focuses on the ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' characters, as well as elaborating a little more on the rest of the chapter 9 jury and the world in general.

* AllMenArePerverts: Carl, Quimby, and side character John Egbert (and/or his character in a ShowWithinAShow) show this. Carl is constantly hitting on every woman we sees, Quimby is an outright womanizer, and John's character peeks up the skirt of Jade's character during said show.

** Section DCLXVI (problems with a ''Catholic military group'' named themselfs after the NumberOfTheBeast aside)'s units being reffered to as the KKK.

* TheReveal: Master Cheif's identity is revealed in the tenth chapter... he's Kamina.

* ShowWithinAShow: A few, three of them have been seen within the fic. The first is ''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy''. The second is a StylisticSuck (yes, even compared to HUC) series made by the Millennium. The third is one by [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} John Egbert and Jade Harley]][[hottip:*:No, Rose and Dave do not appear or even get mention at all in this fan fic.]] and is losley based off of their respective interests. (And ''EdEddNEddyTheMisEdventures''.) Also, one of Pikmin Fan's [[FanFic/TotalFanServiceSeries other fan fics]] is also a series, but it was not seen as the clip of it wasn't ready yet.

* SpotlightStealingSquad: Carl. And Arguably Rip.

** The very beginning says that "Fakebook" is "not unlike a joke from ''TheSimpsons''," a comment on said show's debatable overuse of WereStillRelevantDammit. A later chapter mocks ''Simpsons'' again -- only this time in general -- by portraying Homer as a powerful, brain eating giant who was once a normal man.

* BabiesEverAfter: [[spoiler:Averted for Hecksing. Played strait with background characters John and Jade, although that's due to the incest joke.]]

* TheStationsOfTheCanon: Played annoyingly strait for the first three chapters, with little variations such as [[spoiler:Anderson dying in chapter one and Jan getting spared the next chapter]], but during chapter four, [[spoiler:Jan goes on the ''Eagle'' invasion instead of Rip, which leads to Alucard's death]].

* DecoyProtagonist: [[spoiler:Alucard, in an odd way. The first "season" (chapters 1-4) appear to focus mainly on him as he tries to kill the Millennium, but come chapter four at the end of the season where he's suddenly KilledOffForReal by Jan. The focus then shifts to Carl.]]

** [[spoiler:Carl betting Seras in chapter 3 that he will see her naked in a week. Cue chapter 7....]]

* BigLippedAlligatorMoment: Invoked. At one point in chapter 10, [[spoiler:Alucard's tank starts talking]]. The narrator quickly says that it's not really happening, however.

* AbuseIsOkayIfItsFemaleOnMale: Carl and Seras.
* {{Acrofatic}}: Major can appearantly run up walls, do improbable backflips, and dodge ''exploding bullets'', as he does in chapter 11.

* EarlyBirdCameo: [[Webcomic/SweetJadeAndHellaJohn It is mentioned in the epilogue's intermission that John Egbert gets a female counterpart of himself in a lab accident named Jean. Jade also has a counterpart named Jude.]]

* SelfDeprecation: The last chapter pokes fun at the author's own slow update rates; [[FanFic/TotalFanServiceSeries one of his fan fics]], which in the [=HUCverse=] appears to be a show, is nominated, but the clip consists of "clip not ready yet" on a black screen.[[labelnote:Note]]For reffrence, that mentioned chapter in question (chapter 4) ''was'' published on fanfiction.net, but there was a whopping space of over seven months between it and the last chapter, three of which were after this chapter of HUC was published.[[/labelnote]]

* ShowWithinAShow: A few, three of them have been seen within the series. The first is ''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy''. The second is a StylisticSuck (yes, even compared to HUC) series made by the Millennium. The third is one by [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} John Egbert and Jade Harley]][[hottip:*:No, Rose and Dave do not appear or even get mention at all in this fan fic.]] and is losley based off of their respective interests. (And ''EdEddNEddyTheMisEdventures''.) Also, one of Pikmin Fan's other fan fics is also a series, but it was not seen as the clip of it wasn't ready yet.

->''Hm interesting i can use this broken hitrent as a boost for my tank witch Wil then make me abel to fly using rocket boosters so i can go to forrest and figt the vampers and live up to my organizaton name and UNLEESH HECK on the badguys of corse witch is why my last name is badguy aktualy it is not the reeson why but i do not rilly follow my family name i am aktualy a goodguy but for why im caled badguy is my family name; and i have bad past with my family who iis real badguy and gav me a badtime and showd he was badguy on me during the time i had in the past way back dering the past when i was kid but that aanother story taht I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT RIT NOW.''\\
-Alucard, chapter 1

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7380145/1/Hecksing_Ulumate_Crconikals Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals]]'' (Which is supposed to be ''Hecksing Ultimate Chronicles'') is the third installment to the ''SBIG'' series by Tropers/GreatPikminFan and the first one longer than a one-shot to be completed.[[hottip:*:Also of note, ''Zombie Attack!'', the work before HUC, ended on a CliffHanger]] Unlike its other installments, this one actually follows the story of the original canon of ''Manga/{{Hellsing}} at first'' before slowly turning into an unusual adventure.

Alucard [[CardCarryingVillain Badguy]] is a powerful vampire who kills other, evil vampires by the word of Integra [[UnfortunateNames Heck]]. Then, one fatefull night during an attack of a forest, he ends up needing to do an EmergencyTransformation to Seras Victoria. Finding out that the vampire who caused this was a part of a former co-organization [[PunnyName Heavensing]], Integra then sends Alucard and the newly vamperized Seras to "SERCH AND DESTROY TOES TRADERS." After a short battle, a spell that was keeping out all non-Hecksing or Heavensing vampires is broken with the death of Heavensing's leader... [[TheSimpsons Ned Flanders]] (yes, you read that right), who [[DrivenToSuicide commited suicide]] after Alucard killed his lover Father Alexander Anderson (yes, you read ''that'' right too). With this spell broken, the mysterious Millennium are now free to wreek havok (or, rather, UNLEESH HECK [sic]) on the [[CriticalResearchFailure United Kingdoms of London]]. For most of the following chapters, Hecksing has to foil the various plans of the Millennium.

Also involved is a martian rockster ParodyStu, Carl, who's [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed a blatant parody of]] CharlieSheen, the Major crossdressing as a part of a ShowWithinAShow, a giant, mutaint Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutaint Creator/DavidHasselhoff, and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized MsFanservice.

* BabiesEverAfter: [[spoiler:Averted for Hecksing. Played strait with background characters John and Jade, although that's due to the shock value of [[BrotherSisterIncest the implications]].]]

* SelfDeprecation: The last chapter pokes fun at the author's own slow update rates; one of his fan fics, which in the [=HUCverse=] appears to be a show, is nominated, but the clip consists of "clip not ready yet" on a black screen.[[labelnote:Note]]For reffrence, that mentioned chapter in question ''was'' published on fanfiction.net, but it there was a whopping space of over seven months, three of which were after this chapter of HUC being published.[[/labelnote]]

## Luke.

## Jan.

## A combination of Walter, Captain, and Jan.

* WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids: Parodied. The first chapter was supposedly rated K+[[hottip:*:The fan fic was always rated "T."]], which explains why Hellsing is called "Hecksing" and why Alucard cuts off Anderson from swearing. Eight chapters full of unfriendly deaths and (offscreen) sex, and we have the Captain's "actor" ''telling kids not to pick up random mushrooms'', something which should be obvious to anyone reading the fan fic.

Also involved is a martian rockster ParodyStu, Carl, who's [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed a blatant parody of]] CharlieSheen, the Major crossdressing as a part of a ShowWithinAShow, a giant, mutaint Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutaint DavidHasselhoff, and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized MsFanservice.

* TheCapitalOfBrazilIsBuenosAires: Chapter 3. Brazil itself isn't mentioned much, but when it is.... Although for some reason, it's ''snowy''.