History DorkAge / Sports

28th Sep '16 10:04:00 AM gfclark89
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* The Minnesota Twins have had a succession of dark ages interspersed with periods of true brilliance. Their pre-move incarnation, the Washington Senators, were so legendarily bad through much of their existence (with the exception of TheRoaringTwenties, in which the franchise won its first - and for six decades ''only'' - World Series championship), that San Francisco sports writer Charley Dryden once quipped, "Washington: First in war, First in peace, and Last in the American League." The novel ''The Year the Yankees Lost the Pennant'' was written riffing on the team's legendary badness, and made into the musical ''Theatre/DamnYankees''. After their move to Minnesota at the end of the 1960 season, the team rapidly rose to prominence, winning the American League Pennant in 1965 before losing the WorldSeries in seven games to the LosAngelesDodgers. They won the newly-formed AL West twice before this period of prominence came to an end, but end it did, and the team's longest dork age in Minnesota (and the worst uniform in its history) lasted from 1971 until 1984, a period in which arose the team's lasting nickname, the ''Twinkies''. This era marked some of the most shamefully bad play in the franchise's history and ended when the notoriously stingy Griffith family sold the team to local banking magnate Carl Pohlad. 1993 marked the beginning of its second dork age, which lasted until 2000, which was denoted by a number of fading stars with origins in the Twin Cities (which wasn't all bad - Hall of Famers Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor each had reasonably productive years in Minnesota and bagged their 3000th hits wearing Twins pinstripes, but it also brought several infamous loads to the Metrodome), forcing it to rely for the majority of its pitching and run production on players who really should have spent a lot more time developing in the minors, and the third one has been ongoing since 2011 with the exception of a competitive 2015. It appears to be reaching a pinnacle during a 2016 season in which they are likely to finish with the worst record in the American League.

to:

* The Minnesota Twins have had a succession of dark ages interspersed with periods of true brilliance. Their pre-move incarnation, the Washington Senators, were so legendarily bad through much of their existence (with the exception of TheRoaringTwenties, in which the franchise won its first - and for six decades ''only'' - World Series championship), that San Francisco sports writer Charley Dryden once quipped, "Washington: First in war, First in peace, and Last in the American League." The novel ''The Year the Yankees Lost the Pennant'' was written riffing on the team's legendary badness, and made into the musical ''Theatre/DamnYankees''. After their move to Minnesota at the end of the 1960 season, the team rapidly rose to prominence, winning the American League Pennant in 1965 before losing the WorldSeries in seven games to the LosAngelesDodgers. They won the newly-formed AL West twice before this period of prominence came to an end, but end it did, and the team's longest dork age in Minnesota (and the worst uniform in its history) lasted from 1971 until 1984, a period in which arose the team's lasting nickname, the ''Twinkies''. This era marked some of the most shamefully bad play in the franchise's history and ended when the notoriously stingy Griffith family sold the team to local banking magnate Carl Pohlad. 1993 marked the beginning of its second dork age, which lasted until 2000, which was denoted by a number of fading stars with origins in the Twin Cities (which wasn't all bad - Hall of Famers Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor each had reasonably productive years in Minnesota and bagged their 3000th hits wearing Twins pinstripes, but it also brought several infamous loads to the Metrodome), forcing it to rely for the majority of its pitching and run production on players who really should have spent a lot more time developing in the minors, and the third one has been ongoing since 2011 with the exception of a competitive 2015. It appears to be reaching a pinnacle during a 2016 season in which they are likely to finish after finishing with the worst record in the American League.Majors in 2016.
16th Sep '16 6:44:44 PM gfclark89
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* The Minnesota Twins have had a succession of dark ages interspersed with periods of true brilliance. Their pre-move incarnation, the Washington Senators, were so legendarily bad through much of their existence (with the exception of TheRoaringTwenties, in which the franchise won its first - and for six decades ''only'' - World Series championship), that San Francisco sports writer Charley Dryden once quipped, "Washington: First in war, First in peace, and Last in the American League." The novel ''The Year the Yankees Lost the Pennant'' was written riffing on the team's legendary badness, and made into the musical ''Theatre/DamnYankees''. After their move to Minnesota at the end of the 1960 season, the team rapidly rose to prominence, winning the American League Pennant in 1965 before losing the WorldSeries in seven games to the LosAngelesDodgers. They won the newly-formed AL West twice before this period of prominence came to an end, but end it did, and the team's longest dork age in Minnesota (and the worst uniform in its history) lasted from 1971 until 1984, a period in which arose the team's lasting nickname, the ''Twinkies''. This era marked some of the most shamefully bad play in the franchise's history and ended when the notoriously stingy Griffith family sold the team to local banking magnate Carl Pohlad. 1993 marked the beginning of its second dork age, which lasted until 2000, which was denoted by a number of fading stars with origins in the Twin Cities (which wasn't all bad - Hall of Famers Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor each had reasonably productive years in Minnesota and bagged their 3000th hits wearing Twins pinstripes, but it also brought several infamous loads to the Metrodome), forcing it to rely for the majority of its pitching and run production on players who really should have spent a lot more time developing in the minors, and the third - the shortest one yet - began in 2011 and lasted until the beginning of 2015.

to:

* The Minnesota Twins have had a succession of dark ages interspersed with periods of true brilliance. Their pre-move incarnation, the Washington Senators, were so legendarily bad through much of their existence (with the exception of TheRoaringTwenties, in which the franchise won its first - and for six decades ''only'' - World Series championship), that San Francisco sports writer Charley Dryden once quipped, "Washington: First in war, First in peace, and Last in the American League." The novel ''The Year the Yankees Lost the Pennant'' was written riffing on the team's legendary badness, and made into the musical ''Theatre/DamnYankees''. After their move to Minnesota at the end of the 1960 season, the team rapidly rose to prominence, winning the American League Pennant in 1965 before losing the WorldSeries in seven games to the LosAngelesDodgers. They won the newly-formed AL West twice before this period of prominence came to an end, but end it did, and the team's longest dork age in Minnesota (and the worst uniform in its history) lasted from 1971 until 1984, a period in which arose the team's lasting nickname, the ''Twinkies''. This era marked some of the most shamefully bad play in the franchise's history and ended when the notoriously stingy Griffith family sold the team to local banking magnate Carl Pohlad. 1993 marked the beginning of its second dork age, which lasted until 2000, which was denoted by a number of fading stars with origins in the Twin Cities (which wasn't all bad - Hall of Famers Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor each had reasonably productive years in Minnesota and bagged their 3000th hits wearing Twins pinstripes, but it also brought several infamous loads to the Metrodome), forcing it to rely for the majority of its pitching and run production on players who really should have spent a lot more time developing in the minors, and the third - the shortest one yet - began in has been ongoing since 2011 and lasted until with the beginning exception of 2015.a competitive 2015. It appears to be reaching a pinnacle during a 2016 season in which they are likely to finish with the worst record in the American League.
5th Sep '16 12:40:07 PM 3rdStringPG
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** Currently, Ginebra (now Barangay Ginebra, named after the team's die-hard fanbase) is in the midst of another Dork Age. While recent Ginebra teams haven't been bad, they have nonetheless been painted as underachievers, with gaudy stats tending to hide a failure to come up big when it matters. It doesn't help much that their once-stellar backcourt of Mark Caguioa and Jayjay Helterbrand is definitely showing their age. Ginebra's inability to win any conference championship since 2008 has led their "Manila Clasico" games with bitter rival/sister team Purefoods/Star (also in a Dork Age of sorts circa 2016) to be derisively dubbed the "Boracay Cup", in reference to Boracay being the Philippines' top tourist attraction, and the tendency of both teams to go on early "vacations" after getting eliminated.

to:

** Currently, Ginebra (now Barangay Ginebra, named after the team's die-hard fanbase) is in the midst of another Dork Age. While recent Ginebra teams haven't been bad, they have nonetheless been painted as underachievers, with gaudy stats tending to hide a failure to come up big when it matters. It doesn't help much that their once-stellar backcourt of Mark Caguioa and Jayjay Helterbrand is definitely showing their age. Ginebra's inability to win any conference championship since 2008 has led their "Manila Clasico" games with bitter rival/sister team Purefoods/Star (also in a Dork Age of sorts circa 2016) to be derisively dubbed the "Boracay Cup", in reference to Boracay being the Philippines' top tourist beach attraction, and the tendency of both teams to go on early "vacations" after getting eliminated.
5th Sep '16 12:29:21 PM 3rdStringPG
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* And speaking of Star, 2016 has marked the dawn of the team's most notorious Dork Age. After legendary head coach Tim Cone left for the Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings (see above) for the 2015-16 season, he was replaced by Jason Webb, a former PBA backup point guard and analyst who had not a whit of PBA coaching experience ahead of his hiring. Immediately, he tried to fix things that weren't broken, eschewing Star's tradition of defensive-oriented halfcourt basketball for a more uptempo style, and putting a bigger premium on youth when the team had often done just fine with an older, veteran lineup and short, seven-to-eight-man rotations. [[Note]]Putting things in context, it's like transforming a successful Larry Brown-coached team into an unsuccessful Expy of Steve Kerr's Golden State Warriors.[[/Note]] And while the 2015-16 season has yet to be completed as of this writing, the results haven't been very encouraging so far, with many die-hard Star fans calling for Webb's head. it doesn't help either that rumors have been swirling about the Star franchise being sold, and that when Star management denies rumors, those rumors eventually become reality. (Cone's transfer from Star to Ginebra being the quintessential example.)

to:

* And speaking of Star, 2016 has marked the dawn of the team's most notorious Dork Age. After legendary head coach Tim Cone left for the Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings (see above) for the 2015-16 season, he was replaced by Jason Webb, a former PBA backup point guard and analyst who had not a whit of PBA coaching experience ahead of his hiring. Immediately, he tried to fix things that weren't broken, eschewing Star's tradition of defensive-oriented halfcourt basketball for a more uptempo style, and putting a bigger premium on youth when the team had often done just fine with an older, veteran lineup and short, seven-to-eight-man rotations. [[Note]]Putting [[note]]Putting things in context, it's like transforming a successful Larry Brown-coached team into an unsuccessful Expy of Steve Kerr's Golden State Warriors.[[/Note]] [[/note]] And while the 2015-16 season has yet to be completed as of this writing, the results haven't been very encouraging so far, with many die-hard Star fans calling for Webb's head. it doesn't help either that rumors have been swirling about the Star franchise being sold, and that when Star management denies rumors, those rumors eventually become reality. (Cone's transfer from Star to Ginebra being the quintessential example.)
5th Sep '16 12:27:41 PM 3rdStringPG
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* And speaking of Star, 2016 has marked the dawn of the team's most notorious Dork Age. After legendary head coach Tim Cone left for the Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings (see above) for the 2015-16 season, he was replaced by Jason Webb, a former PBA backup point guard and analyst who had not a whit of PBA coaching experience ahead of his hiring. Immediately, he tried to fix things that weren't broken, eschewing Star's tradition of defensive-oriented halfcourt basketball for a more uptempo style, and putting a bigger premium on youth when the team had often done just fine with an older, veteran lineup. And while the 2015-16 season has yet to be completed as of this writing, the results haven't been very encouraging so far, with many die-hard Star fans calling for Webb's head. it doesn't help either that rumors have been swirling about the Star franchise being sold, and that when Star management denies rumors, those rumors eventually become reality. (Cone's transfer from Star to Ginebra being the quintessential example.)

to:

* And speaking of Star, 2016 has marked the dawn of the team's most notorious Dork Age. After legendary head coach Tim Cone left for the Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings (see above) for the 2015-16 season, he was replaced by Jason Webb, a former PBA backup point guard and analyst who had not a whit of PBA coaching experience ahead of his hiring. Immediately, he tried to fix things that weren't broken, eschewing Star's tradition of defensive-oriented halfcourt basketball for a more uptempo style, and putting a bigger premium on youth when the team had often done just fine with an older, veteran lineup. lineup and short, seven-to-eight-man rotations. [[Note]]Putting things in context, it's like transforming a successful Larry Brown-coached team into an unsuccessful Expy of Steve Kerr's Golden State Warriors.[[/Note]] And while the 2015-16 season has yet to be completed as of this writing, the results haven't been very encouraging so far, with many die-hard Star fans calling for Webb's head. it doesn't help either that rumors have been swirling about the Star franchise being sold, and that when Star management denies rumors, those rumors eventually become reality. (Cone's transfer from Star to Ginebra being the quintessential example.)
5th Sep '16 12:25:05 PM 3rdStringPG
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Added DiffLines:

* And speaking of Star, 2016 has marked the dawn of the team's most notorious Dork Age. After legendary head coach Tim Cone left for the Barangay Ginebra Gin Kings (see above) for the 2015-16 season, he was replaced by Jason Webb, a former PBA backup point guard and analyst who had not a whit of PBA coaching experience ahead of his hiring. Immediately, he tried to fix things that weren't broken, eschewing Star's tradition of defensive-oriented halfcourt basketball for a more uptempo style, and putting a bigger premium on youth when the team had often done just fine with an older, veteran lineup. And while the 2015-16 season has yet to be completed as of this writing, the results haven't been very encouraging so far, with many die-hard Star fans calling for Webb's head. it doesn't help either that rumors have been swirling about the Star franchise being sold, and that when Star management denies rumors, those rumors eventually become reality. (Cone's transfer from Star to Ginebra being the quintessential example.)
5th Sep '16 12:11:53 PM 3rdStringPG
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[[folder:Other sports leagues]]
* The Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) had a Dork Age of its own for most of the 1980s. Crispa and Toyota, the league's two most popular and successful teams, disbanded in quick succession. In fact, lots of teams were sold or outright disbanded, and from 1985 to 1988, the once ten-strong league was down to six full-time teams. The stars who made Crispa and Toyota great quickly showed their age, while there was a noticeable dearth in quality talent from the collegiate ranks and amateur leagues. Defense was also nonexistent, as teams mailed it in with scores resembling the '80s Denver Nuggets on uppers. Sure, there was the ascendance of Ginebra as the people's team, thanks to the arrival of "Living Legend" Robert Jaworski in 1984, and Billy Ray Bates was a talented, exciting American "import" for the same team. But by and large, the PBA went through a long slump in attendance, popularity, and talent level until 1989, when young players like Allan Caidic, Alvin Patrimonio, and Jojo Lastimosa proved worthy replacements for the old guard, and the mostly youthful San Miguel Beermen won a Grand Slam, winning all three "conferences" in the season.

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[[folder:Other sports leagues]]
* The Philippine
[[folder:Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) Association]]
* The PBA
had a Dork Age of its own for most of the 1980s. Crispa and Toyota, the league's two most popular and successful teams, disbanded in quick succession. In fact, lots of teams were sold or outright disbanded, and from 1985 to 1988, the once ten-strong league was down to six full-time teams. The stars who made Crispa and Toyota great quickly showed their age, while there was a noticeable dearth in quality talent from the collegiate ranks and amateur leagues. Defense was also nonexistent, as teams mailed it in with scores resembling the '80s Denver Nuggets on uppers. Sure, there was the ascendance of Ginebra as the people's team, thanks to the arrival of "Living Legend" Robert Jaworski in 1984, and Billy Ray Bates was a talented, exciting American "import" for the same team. But by and large, the PBA went through a long slump in attendance, popularity, and talent level until 1989, when young players like Allan Caidic, Alvin Patrimonio, and Jojo Lastimosa proved worthy replacements for the old guard, and the mostly youthful San Miguel Beermen won a Grand Slam, winning all three "conferences" in the season.


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* Ginebra San Miguel went through a Dork Age in the early-mid '90s that was so bad, Filipino singer-songwriter Gary Granada [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQuFFWFAy2Y wrote a song about it]] and made it a big radio hit. (The song is called "Kapag Natatalo Ang Ginebra", or "When Ginebra Loses" when translated in English.) The Dork Age started in 1993, as the team's Detroit Pistons "Bad Boys" {{Expy}} lineup disintegrated due to age and injury, and while Ginebra thought the best way to avert a slide was to trade a promising rookie draftee (Vic Pablo) for two proven veterans (Manny Victorino and Ponky Alolor), they were both aging, soft, and a shadow of their old selves. 1994 first-overall pick Noli Locsin reminded many of NBA star Charles Barkley, but it didn't prevent Ginebra (then briefly known as Tondena) from another miserable finish. Their nadir, however, came in 1995, when the team selected 7-footer EJ Feihl second overall (he was an utter bust) and the [[{{Nepotism}} coach's son]], [[TheScrappy Robert "Dudut" Jaworski Jr.]] in the second round (he wasn't pro-caliber by any means). Fortunately, things started to look up in 1996, when the team got a skilled big man, Marlou Aquino, as their first-overall pick, and signed 1995 second-rounder Bal David to play point guard, thus ending that Dork Age.
** Currently, Ginebra (now Barangay Ginebra, named after the team's die-hard fanbase) is in the midst of another Dork Age. While recent Ginebra teams haven't been bad, they have nonetheless been painted as underachievers, with gaudy stats tending to hide a failure to come up big when it matters. It doesn't help much that their once-stellar backcourt of Mark Caguioa and Jayjay Helterbrand is definitely showing their age. Ginebra's inability to win any conference championship since 2008 has led their "Manila Clasico" games with bitter rival/sister team Purefoods/Star (also in a Dork Age of sorts circa 2016) to be derisively dubbed the "Boracay Cup", in reference to Boracay being the Philippines' top tourist attraction, and the tendency of both teams to go on early "vacations" after getting eliminated.
24th Aug '16 9:50:43 PM JudasZala
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** As for Spagnuolo himself, after his firing in 2011, he became the defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints (who were without head coach Sean Payton, who was suspended for the 2012 season for his involvement in the Bountygate scandal). Spags' defense set a dubious record of allowing 7,042 yards of total offense, the most in league history. This led to his firing by Payton following his reinstatement. After a stint as a secondary coach with the Ravens from 2013-2014, he would return to the New York Giants as a DC in the 2015 season; his defense allowed 6,725 yards of total offense.

to:

** As for Spagnuolo himself, after his firing in 2011, he became the defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints (who were without head coach Sean Payton, who was suspended for the 2012 season for his involvement in the Bountygate scandal). Spags' defense set a dubious record of allowing 7,042 yards of total offense, the most in league history. This led to his firing by Payton following his reinstatement. After a stint as a secondary coach with the Ravens from 2013-2014, he would return to the New York Giants as a DC in the 2015 season; his defense allowed 6,725 yards of total offense.offense, the third worst in league history.
24th Aug '16 9:49:55 PM JudasZala
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** As for Spagnuolo himself, after his firing in 2011, he became the defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints (who were without head coach Sean Payton, who was suspended for the 2012 season for his involvement in the Bountygate scandal). Spags' defense set a dubious record of allowing 7,042 yards of total offense, the most in league history. This led to his firing by Payton following his reinstatement. After a stint as a secondary coach with the Ravens from 2013-2014, he would return to the New York Giants as a DC in the 2015 season.

to:

** As for Spagnuolo himself, after his firing in 2011, he became the defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints (who were without head coach Sean Payton, who was suspended for the 2012 season for his involvement in the Bountygate scandal). Spags' defense set a dubious record of allowing 7,042 yards of total offense, the most in league history. This led to his firing by Payton following his reinstatement. After a stint as a secondary coach with the Ravens from 2013-2014, he would return to the New York Giants as a DC in the 2015 season.season; his defense allowed 6,725 yards of total offense.
8th Aug '16 5:16:14 PM JudasZala
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** The quarterback position has been a particularly sore spot for the new Browns, as they've either had draft busts (Tim Couch, and, unless he sorts his life out, Johnny Manziel), nondescript journeymen (Kelly Holcomb, Josh and Luke [=McCown=]), or past-their-prime former studs (Jeff Garcia, Jake Delhomme) leading the team. As of the 2016 offseason, the team has had 24 starting quarterbacks in 17 seasons. Compare that to the New England Patriots, who have only had ''four'' starting [=QBs=] -- Drew Bledsoe, Creator/TomBrady, and Brady fill-in Matt Cassel -- over the same period of time.

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** The quarterback position has been a particularly sore spot for the new Browns, as they've either had draft busts (Tim Couch, and, unless he sorts his life out, Johnny Manziel), nondescript journeymen (Kelly Holcomb, Josh and Luke [=McCown=]), or past-their-prime former studs (Jeff Garcia, Jake Delhomme) leading the team. As of the 2016 offseason, the team has had 24 starting quarterbacks in 17 seasons. Compare that to the New England Patriots, who have only had ''four'' ''three'' starting [=QBs=] -- Drew Bledsoe, Creator/TomBrady, and Brady fill-in Matt Cassel -- over the same period of time.
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