History Characters / FamilyGuyGlennQuagmire

* CatchPhrase:

* ImplausibleDeniability: In "Tea Peter," he [[BestialityIsDepraved married a giraffe]] and had a HalfHumanHybrid child with it. Despite the fact that the newborn giraffe had his face and even said a variation of his CatchPhrase ("Giraffity!"), Quagmire promptly denied the child was his.

* StrawHypocrite: It's heavily implied that the list of things he hypocritically hates Brian for are only a cover and that the real reason as to why he hates him is because he's trying to find an easy target or because he, a cat person, hates Brian, a dog.

* AnythingThatMoves:
** Well, anything female with a vagina. He's even hit on Meg with the line "Hey Meg, 18 yet?" Even Loretta exploited this in "The Cleveland Loretta Quagmire." He's been banned from the zoo because of the "sexy monkeys". The only known exception to this is Peter's boss, Angela, [[EvenEvilHasStandards who even Quagmire refuses to have sex with]], on the grounds that she is "a complete dumpster fire."
** Glenn has an ambivalent attitude towards transsexual women, as in one episode he hits on a feminine-looking individual, rejects her when he realizes the woman is trans, backs up a moment to check if she's pre-op/post-op and goes back to rejecting her when she says she's still pre-op. However, in another episode he gets really upset when Brian informs him that based on his scent, he had sex with two Filipino women and a man, when he was under the impression he had sex with three Filipino women.
** In "Family Gay" he takes Peter up on his offer of sex but only if they do it "his way."

* ReallyGetsAround: Loretta exploits his promiscuity in the episode "The Cleveland Loretta Quagmire" when she chose Quagmire to have an affair with, knowing that Quagmire is all too willing to have sex with ''anybody''.

* RomanceAndSexualitySeparation: Spooner Street's resident pervert Quagmire is perfectly capable of having emotion-free impersonal sex with just about AnythingThatMoves and quite a few things which normally do not. He has a long-standing desire for the one woman who is unattainable to him - Lois Griffin. His infatuation for her includes passive stalking and building a shrine in her honor. On the one occasion where Lois becomes attainable - she has tired of Peter's stupid antics - she indicates her availability to Quagmire. However, his long-standing romantic infatuation combined with PerformanceAnxiety and guilt that he is somehow betraying Peter - and above all the realization he is in love with her - all combine to devastate his libido. While Peter has a last-ditch play to get her back, he is seen escalating a Viagra overdose, electric shock therapy, direct injections into his penis, and finally hitting himself very hard with a hammer. All to no avail.

** He criticizes Brian for being a one-note "bore". Character development turns him into the group's boring member outside of his one-note sexual deviant personality and love of cats.

** During the early season episode ''A Fish out of Water'', the guys are playing a drinking game and have to take a drink of their beer every time they performed the sexual act mentioned, Quagmire had done everything they mentioned, being on his 38th beer before passing out while everybody else was still on their first. Fitting the definition of "depravity" to the extreme, Quagmire has done dozens of specific and outlandish sexual acts, including having sex with Cleveland's (ex-)wife, banging a girl in a specific airport bathroom, separately picking up illegals working for 2 different companies to choke him while he masturbates, and (fitting the definition of "bestiality") giving a reacharound to a spider monkey while reciting the American Pledge of Allegiance (with Peter looking in his direction as he is making this up).

** Since the moment their feud was established, Quagmire ''aggressively'' abhors Brian for being a FairWeatherFoe, and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech makes vigorously clear]] each and every time that he doesn't owe Brian a shred of feigned kindness just to convinience his selfish ego. In "Must Love Dogs" however, Quagmire has no qualms skulking up to Brian for a favour, and when Brian in turn spitefully throws it back at him, an outraged Quagmire accuses him of being a jerk for no reason.

** Since the moment their feud was established, Quagmire ''aggressively'' abhors Brian for being a FairWeatheredFoe, and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech makes vigorously clear]] each and every time that he doesn't owe Brian a shred of feigned kindness just to convinience his selfish ego. In "Must Love Dogs" however, Quagmire has no qualms skulking up to Brian for a favour, and when Brian in turn spitefully throws it back at him, Quagmire accuses him of being a jerk for no reason.

** Since their feud was established, Quagmire ''aggressively'' abhors Brian being a FairWeatheredFoe, and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech makes viorously clear]] each time he doesn't owe Brian a shred of feigned kindness just to convinience his selfish ego. In "Must Love Dogs" however, Quagmire has no qualms skulking up to Brian for a favour, and when Brian in turn spitefully throws it back at him, Quagmire accuses him of being a jerk for no reason.

* {{Ephebophile}}: He's not even above trying to sleep with teenage girls.

** During the early season episode ''A Fish out of Water'', the guys are playing a drinking game and have to take a drink of their beer every time they performed the sexual act mentioned, Quagmire had done everything they mentioned, being on his 38th beer before passing out while everybody else was still on their first. Fitting the definition of "depravity" to the extreme, Quagmire has done dozens of specific and outlandish sexual acts, including having sex with Cleveland's (ex-)wife, banging a girl in a specific airport bathroom, separately picking up illegals working for 2 different companies to chock him while he masturbates, and (fitting the definition of "bestiality") giving a reacharound to a spider monkey while reciting the American Pledge of Allegiance (with Peter looking in his direction as he is making this up).

* HasTwoMommies: Not growing up, but after his dad transitioned.

** "Screams of Silence" showed that despite being a rapist, Quagmire draws the line at physical abuse.

* MoralMyopia: PlayedForLaughs. After season 8, he's gained a far more prudish and sometimes outright preachy and self righteous attitude towards the immoral antics of others around him, especially Peter and Brian. He's still a gleeful pervert and rapist though.

** Well, anything female with a vagina. He's even hit on Meg with the line "Hey Meg, 18 yet?" Even Loretta exploited this in "The Cleveland Loretta Quagmire." He's been banned from the zoo because of the "sexy monkeys". The only known exception to this is Peter's boss, Angela, who even Quagmire refuses to have sex with, on the grounds that she is "a complete dumpster fire."

* ParentalIncest: Wants to have sex with his daughter, and has sex with his mother. He drew the line at sex with his female-transitioned father. Sonja forced him anyway.

** He's an unrepentant pervert, but is rather uncomfortable with trying to sleep with his friends' wives. [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone He immediately regretted sleeping with Cleveland's now ex-wife]], and when trying to seduce Lois, he immediately went flaccid when she confided how much she trusted him.

** He was disgusted that Carter had had an affair in violation of his wedding vow to a wife of 50 years.

* Quagmire rightfully takes an issue with Jeff's domestic and emotional abuse of his sister. He also wrongfully teaches a pick-up class that thrives on emotional abuse, keeps restraint devices to force women to have sex with him, and even when he doesn't use them, takes no regard for the bodies of the women he drugs into sex.

* {{Hypocrite}}: Many of the things he chewed Brian out for during his TheReasonYouSuckSpeech are things he is either just as guilty for, or 'more' guilty for.
** Calls Brian out for hitting on Lois, when he has done the same to an equal if not higher degree and goes beyond that by being shown to harbor some of her hair and dig through the Griffin's garbage for her toenail clippings. In "Big Man on Hippocampus", he also decides to ''take advantage'' of Peter's amnesia to convince Lois to sleep with him.
** He uses the line "How's that son of yours you never see?" in referencing Brian's failure as a father. Quagmire himself encountered several children that resembled him in "Tales of a Third Grade Nothing" and promptly ran away. He also gave his daughter up for adoption in the episode right before "Jerome is the New Black" while Dylan himself chose to leave Brian in order to take care of his mother.
** In "Quagmire's Mom" he is revealed to blame all his personal issues and flaws on his mother's upbringing of him. Brian, who he claimed to be superior to for [[AtLeastIAdmitIt admitting his flaws]], calls him out on refusing responsibility for his crimes. Quagmire's retaliation is that an Atheist shouldn't support a Christian like his mother, another ethic he called Brian out on.
** In "The Heartbreak Dog", he's one of several characters that chews Brian out for having an affair with Bonnie. His presence at the intervention feels completely unfair since Quagmire has not only previously caused an affair of his own between Cleveland and his first wife Loretta, but he's also tricked Joe into letting him have sex with Bonnie.

** Quagmire calls out Brian for, among other things, dating only bimbos, lusting after the married Lois, and not looking after his kid. Although Quagmire himself has these flaws too and is [[AtLeastIAdmitIt aware]] of it, Brian doesn't have a single retort to TheReasonYouSuckSpeech that he has just received.

* AcePilot: Can fly anything. From an old Japanese Zero, a Cessna and a passenger jet. And, make no mistake: he's *damn* good at it, certainly enough to [[ItMakesSenseInContext maneuver a passenger plane away from fighter jets.]]

* LastNameBasis: The only one who actually calls him "Glenn" is Lois.

* NeverMyFault: Quagmire tries to blame his mother for him being the womanizer he is. Brian [[WhatTheHellHero calls him out on it]], though being [[SitcomArchNemesis Brian]], it doesn't faze Quagmire remotely.