History Characters / AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff

* GodzillaThreshold: Molly is only supposed to create them during ''big'' emergencies.

* YouNoTakeCandle: Grammatically speaking, Anna should've said, "Where is the doctor?!" or "Where is Doctor [Insert Name Here.]"

* GodzillaThreshold: Mollie is only supposed to create them during ''big'' emergencies.

* OneGenderRace: Molly's produced ''only'' daughters and no sons… and she's named every one of them after herself.

* InsectoidAlien[=/=]LivingToy: He's a humanoid flea-person whose body is made from felt.

* ZeroPercentApprovalRating: Almost nobody in the Hospital seems to actually ''like'' Dr. Fleagood. So far, the only exception has been the goodhearted Dr. Gynnie.
--> '''Dr. Gynnie''': He hash been nothing but a tremendousssh boon to our work with B'''D'''A'''O'''B'''G'''Y!!!
--> '''Fern''': Sorry...what was that last word? I...think I misheard something...
--> '''Dr. Gynnie''': What? B'''D'''A'''O'''B'''G'''Y?? We're the M'''V'''A'''E'''TER'''I'''N'''N'''I'''A'''T'''R'''Y ward, after all!

* FamousLastWords: "[[spoiler:....wonder th ough..........maybe...had.....[[subscript:maybe.........a... m o m.....t o o....?]]]]"

* EarlyBirdCameo: The glow of Millie's eyes have been visible from Fern's waste cabinet since Page 33 of the webcomic. It's not until Page 682 that Millie's able to come out of Fern's trash.

* CharacterLevel: There's a drawing of what appears to be a phoropter among Jay's pictures of the doctors that list their levels. If this is Dr. Ucy, then they are actually the lowest leveled member of staff yet (aside from Dr. Mann) at level 234.

* TheGhost: This doctor's name is Ucy. That's literally the only thing we know for certain about this individual. It might be the tumor in the wheelchair from the [[CreepyPasta creepypastas.]]

* CallForward: One of the first things Phage says is "I can assure you, sir, your dog is in excellent hands!" not being able to tell if Fern is male of female or if her son is a baby or her dog. It turns out that Fleagood's Veterinary Ward has fused with the Maternity Ward.

* CuteIsEvil: He looks like he belongs on [[Series/SesameStreet Sesame Street]], and shows significant signs of corruption if not outright treachery.

[[caption-width-right:200: Wonder what color this one's bag is?]]

* WeirdnessCensor: As with MANY of the medical staff, the Parliament is an undiscussable topic with him. Unlike the others, however, he recognises that it's something he's unable to understand thanks to his own difficulties in communicating the Hospital's degeneration to the rest of the staff.

* WeirdnessCensor: In [[https://bogleech.com/awfulhospital/753.html Layer 753]] Cathy actually thinks of a way around the Parliament's undiscussability... by discussing what it is ''not'' but it only partially works.

--> '''Fern''': ''The Parliament.'' Something called ''The Parliament'' seems to be involved with whatever's going on.
--> '''Dr. Man''': I am... ...Experiencing...difficulties...registering whatever it is you are communicating.

* WeirdnessCensor: Cathy actually thinks of a way around the Parliament's undiscussability... but it only partially works.

--> '''Gardenia''': HOWDY Y'ALL! Ya here 'fer a deposit or withdrawal?!
--> '''Fern''': OH! Um...neither. Gardenia, right?
--> '''Gardenia''': In the flesh! Hyeck hyeck! That'sa joke! On account'a bein' a flesh farmer! Sure ya don't wanna leave a lil somethin'? Yer vessel's lookin mighty fragile! We could grow a whole bushel'a spares from a couple inches'a test-tines or some cellulose; y'seem like y'have both t'spare!

* TakeThisJobAndShoveIt: This is how Crash feels about his job, though being the computer he is, he's helpless to do anything about it. He likens it to being stapled to the wall of a closet someone used as a privy and told to make sure nobody comes to clean up the mess. Since ''birth''. Which was ''aeons ago.'' Considering that a) he’s younger than ''Willis'' b) there used to be other computer personalities to help with the work before the Parliament got rid of them, and c) according to Query he was only meant to deal with games in the first place, it’s hard not to see why.

* TakeThisJobAndShoveIt: This is how Crash feels about his job, though being the computer he is, he's helpless to do anything about it. He likens it to being stapled to the wall of a closet someone used as a privy and told to make sure nobody comes to clean up the mess. Since ''birth''. Which was ''aeons ago.''

* SanitySlippage: He is an introvert by nature, specializing in technical tasks, and the strain of needing to regularly interact with people came dangerously close to threatening his sanity. Fortunately, Fern manages to restore Query, an AI actually designed for doing so before this becomes an issue.

A sadistic living computer system who's got ''quite'' a bit of an attitude with everything.

The second AI to be restored, she functions as the Hospital's Database Assistant Administrator.

** [[spoiler:Marcy, the concept of Medicine, says that he's human as far as she can tell, but she isn't omniscient, nor does she see everything in the Hospital.]]

* AmbiguouslyEvil: [[spoiler: So far, it's hard to tell whether he's just as messed up by the Parliament's PerceptionFilter and the merging of the Maternity Ward and Veterinary Ward's concepts as the rest of the staff is, or if he's actively helping the Parliament and their corruption for his own benefit; the fact that [[EatsBabies he doesn't seem to care whether he's feeding on pets or babies]] combined with the fact that both wards ''just happen'' to be mixed together thanks to the Parliament's influence implies he ''might'' have arranged this just to give himself a bigger food supply, but his short talk with Fern seems to suggest that he might just be unaware that his area of expertise has been screwed with. Marcy eventually reveals that he genuinely means well, but he was never meant to be part of the Hospital in the first place, implying that he really is just an UnwittingPawn.]]

--> ''"[=MmmmMMMMmmMMmmmm=]...sweet as a kitten's heart!" chirped the helium-voice.''
--> ''The vet shook his head with a wide, phony grin. "Doctor Fleeeeaaaagooood! You did it AGAAAIN!"''
--> ''"More...MORE!" the puppet's voice was getting raspier, more intense.''

* CompletionMeter: He provides Fern with a meter indicating her current progress in restoring Hospital functionality.

--> '''Chip''': Go ahead, ask me for a l-l-latte! T-try it!
--> '''Fern''': Uh...can I get a latte?
--> '''Chip''': N-nope! Heehee!!!

* StealthPun: A "crash" is a massive software malfunction that either forces the computer to, or nescessitates that the user, reboot.