History Characters / AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff

--> ''Wait...did you even ever tell him your name?''[[note]]No, she didn't.[[/note]] (long pause) ...Of course you did. Why wouldn't you? What a strange thought.

* TokenHuman:

* {{Archnemesis}}: Questions of actual malice, alien morality, and mutual dislike aside… Ms. Green definitely ''regards'' Dr. Phage as her greatest, most despicable adversary. For her personally, (and on our side of the fourth wall,) Dr. Phage is pretty much the poster boy of everything keeping her from reuniting with her son.

** One scene shows us that Dr. Phage is the only staff member to indicate that he can actually learn, as he questions whether Ms. Green's son is really a dog. He also indicates that he's both pragmatic and empathetic, willing to destroy patients whose ailments threaten the greater multiverse and cannot be cured.

* MisterBig: Dr. Phage is ''toddler-sized'' next to Ms. Green.

* NotWhatItLooksLike: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/186 The strand of DNA that Phage injects into Ms. Green's son]] looks like, er, something else. The UnfortunateImplications have been dismissed by WordOfGod:

--> '''Dr. Tori''': (while performing surgery on Ms. Green) ...You can do this, Tori.....it's just like making a sandcastle....

The head of surgery at the hospital, Dr. Tori is responsible for patching up Ms. Green each time she dies.

* GeniusDitz: She manages to slap together Ms. Green back together each time. [[spoiler:Nevertheless she still leaves her key card inside Ms. Green the first time she operates on her.]]

* NervousWreck: Always in a state of high anxiety whenever Ms. Green is under her knife and spork.

* AmbiguouslyEvil

* EveryoneHasStandards: According to Lexis, Dr. Man fought against the unexistalizer being an ''option'' with Ms. Green's son.

--> '''Dr. Man''': (spotting Ms. Green at his door) Ahh. Visitors. It's not locked. Yet. Ha ha. Doctor jokes.
* TokenHuman

* TheHeart: She's one of the few hospital staff member to emphasize with Ms. Green's desperate search for her son.

--> '''Colleague #1''': (referring to Ms. Green's Son) That's one juicy-looking pooch. When's lunch?

[[caption-width-right:344:If he'd been this way to Ms. Green, 95% of this webcomic's plot wouldn't have even happened.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So uh, you know anything about the password to that big, rusty metal door down the exam hall?

* LockedDoor: Very FIRMLY locked against Ms. Green. In order to reach her baby son, she'll need to discover its password.

[[folder: Nurse Molly Curdle]]

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nursemolly_8071.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Hugging not recommended.]]

--> '''Depressed Spleen''': Ah, yes, the nurse. I do believe she's on orders to keep anyone from leaving the exam ward while the hospital is on alert. Don't bother trying to outrun her; she may look almost as awkward, slovenly, absent minded and devoid of taste as yourself, and she is all of those things, but she can also move exactly as fast as she wants. If you're thinking of having a go at her with that toothpick of yours, I'm loathe to admit that the results would be far worse for you than for her, as fleetingly amused as I'd be by the spectacle. You'd be lucky if they cared enough to put your skin back on.

An animate pile of spent syringes and other medical refuse given form by a pink garbage bag and currently employed by the hospital as a nurse. Most of her duties consist of ensuring that patients ''stay'' in their designated wards, ''no matter what.''
----
* AllThereInTheManual: So far, Nurse Molly's surname is only mentioned in the bonus materials library.
* BattleaxeNurse: She could stand to murder a few less patients!
* BlobMonster: Without her bag, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/099.html she's this]].
* ComicallyIneptHealing: The way she treats the Depressed Spleen's malaria.
--> '''Commentator''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/466.html Shouldn't there be]] another part to a dialysis? Like, a part where you put blood back in?
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A female nurse and a male patient end up spending a great deal of time together. The nurse ends up drawing lots of bodily fluids from her patient, and somehow, between one thing and other, her body grows larger and she produces a litter of little ones who look just like her.
* FatBitch: While Fern was busy hunting for the anomaly in the Inert Vessel, Molly bloats up to over twice her original size! Though WordOfGod holds that Molly's girth is part of a cyclical process.
--> '''Bogleech''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/466.html Thinner Molly]] is Molly during a drought of activity and monster Molly happens during a glut of disease. It's probably not a permanent, one-way transformation but a cycle.
* FlorenceNightingaleEffect: [[spoiler: Seems she likes miserable mopers suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. Horrifically subverted when Fern finds she has engorged herself on the Spleen's blood]].
* MotherOfAThousandYoung: There's really no telling HOW MANY biobags Molly's created by collecting medical waste from the Hospital's patients in her special trash bags!
* PardonMyKlingon: Molly's words are rendered in Wingdings font, and... well...
--> '''Dr. Phage''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/317.html (entering in while Molly's working on The Spleen)]] Molly! This is no time to be playing around in unoccupied rooms!
--> '''Molly''': ('translated' from Wingdings) [[spoiler: Fuck fuck! Shit piss fuck ass cock puke!]]
--> '''Dr. Phage''': I'm fine. You?
* PunnyName: 'Molly Curdle' with 'mollycoddle.'
* TheQuiet: To the point of being initially presumed to be TheSpeechless. But it's probably just as well that Molly keeps silent 99% of the time. Because, as it turns out, this walking bag of garbage is quite the [[LadySwearsALot trash]] [[StealthPun talker.]]
* {{Sadist}}: Gets a thrill out of slaughtering patients brutally.
--> '''Dr. Phage''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/327.html Ah, lovely family!]] Too bad you'll have to purge them.
--> ''[Molly pumps her fists in a show of joy.]''
--> '''Dr. Phage''': No "game" this time, just be quick.
* SpikesOfDoom: Poor Fern.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Zoe]]

[[quoteright:345:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/zoe_9826.png]]
[[caption-width-right:345: Working hard at hardly working.]]

--> '''Fern''': Uh, hi there?
--> '''Zoe''': Hm.

A large mass of protoplasm, who serves as Dr. Phage's secretary (even though she isn't always thrilled by it). Despite having virtually no ability to verbally communicate, she's one of the more empathetic members of the hospital's staff.
----
* {{Bookworm}}: She's never seen without a tome.
* CovertPervert: Maybe. Just look at what's on her computer monitor.
* TheHeart: She's one of the few hospital staff member to emphasize with Ms. Green's desperate search for her son.
* MegaMicrobes: Zoe's a giant amoeba.
* ProfessionalSlacker
* SassySecretary: It's very clear that she's weary of Phage and disinterested in her work.
* SilentSnarker
* TheSpeechless: The most she's done yet, in terms of vocalizing her thoughts, is several variations on 'Hm.'
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Biobags]]

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/enemy_garbling.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Killer garbage bags that explode in your face if you fight it! Perfect for Hospital security!]]

--> '''Open Wound''':..thoshe lil' round galsh, they mean well enough, but they don't do much other than bouncshe around the room and blow up when they get frushhtrated. Not the kinda shhhervice I come here for, y'know?

Daughters of Nurse Molly's. She creates them from medical waste collected from the Hospital's patients. They mostly patrol the hallways, and are just as antagonistic towards Fern as their mother.
----

* ActionBomb: They're the Bob-ombs of the Awful Hospital universe.
* DaddysLittleVillain: ''Mommy's'' little villains. All of them seem to take after their mother.
* {{Tykebomb}}: They literally blow up when backed into a corner.
* WeHaveReserves: One dies? Molly can always make replacements, because patients are always producing medical waste.

[[folder: Dr. Phage's Shadowy Colleagues]]

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/icon_mystery1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:100:#1]]
--> '''Colleague #1''': (referring to Ms. Green's Son) That's one juicy-looking pooch. When's lunch?

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/icon_mystery3.png]]
[[caption-width-right:100:#2]]
--> '''Colleague #2''': The, ahh, word you intended was "hypothesis," but there are no mere hypotheses; all that can be imagined already must exist in one perception or another, or, ah, nothing else could exist that would ever conceive of it, In fact, the, uh, grey itself may serve as-

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/icon_mystery2.png]]
[[caption-width-right:100:#3]]
--> '''Colleague #3''': WHATEVER, GUYS. Just fill its holes in. Or drill it some holes. Drill it some holes and fill them in. It'll be fine.

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/icon_mystery4.png]]
[[caption-width-right:100:#4]]
--> '''Colleague #4''': Didn't it come in with it'ssshhh progenator? Why don't we jusht shtick it back where it came from? Problem ssssholved.

[[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/191.html At some uncertain point in time]] that could've occurred either before or after Fern first awoke in The Hospital, Dr. Phage brought some medical colleagues to examine the mystifying oddity that was Fern's son, and then put their heads together and determine what should be done with him. Besides Dr. Phage, himself, four others had thoughts to voice at this meeting.

* DepravedDentist: Colleague #3. Just look at his quote. There's a very excellent likelihood that Colleague #3 may be none other than [[http://www.bogleech.com/creepy/creepybog-doctordementist.html Dr. Dementist]] from the Noisy Tenant creepypasta of the same name.
* EatsBabies: Dogs are apparently a staple of Colleague #1's diet. Very worryingly, he insists Fern's baby ''is'' a dog, and the sight of the boy whets his appetite. He is almost certainly [[http://www.bogleech.com/creepy/creepybog-drfleagood.html Dr. Fleagood]] from the fourth Noisy Tenant creepypasta.
* MadnessMantra: CURE, CONTAIN, OR ERASE.
* NoNameGiven: The Colleagues all have [[MyNameIsQuestionMarks "???"]] as placeholders.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: Colleague #2 is big on circumlocution, small on actual medical counsel.
* ShoutOut: Colleague #1 unintentionally gives one to [[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Dogscape The Dogscape.]]
--> '''Colleague #1''': It's ''all'' dog. All of it. Delicious.
* SinisterSilhouettes: Solid silhouettes with big white question marks in their centers, at that.
* ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels: Colleague #4's proposal that Fern's son should be shoved back up her birth canal... just as one would return an unwanted birthday present back in the box it was pulled out from.
* YouAreNumberSix: Until their actual names are revealed, we'll have to refer to them by the order which they spoke in their EarlyBirdCameo scene.

[[folder: Maternity Ward Door]]

[[quoteright:344:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/f4264d398496d040026cdab6d6e3243f.png]]
[[caption-width-right:344:If he'd been this way to Ms. Green, 95% of this webcomic's plot wouldn't have even happened.]]

--> Flecked with rust, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/016.html the immovable steel door]] has some sort of security lock on it. You can see only blackness through the bars, and the faint sounds you can hear remind you more of a sawmill or assembly line than a hospital ward. Buzzing, grinding, clanking and wet splatters echo deep in the darkness. The hastily painted insignia appears to represent an embryo. You don't feel well. You have no hope of guessing the combination if this is where you need to go, but someone or something else here has to know it. For now, you're going to check the other exam rooms. If they put you in one, couldn't they have put your son in one too?

--> '''Ms. Green''': Uh, hi there?

* {{Tykebomb}}:
* WeHaveReserves: One dies? Molly can always make replacements from medical waste gathered from the patients!

[[caption-width-right:350:some caption text]]

* DaddysLittleVillain:
* {{Tykebomb}}
* WeHaveReserves

* MotherOfAThousandYoung: There's really no telling HOW MANY biobags Molly's created by harvesting medical waste from the Hospital's patients in her special trash bags!

* MotherOfAThousandYoung: There's really no telling HOW MANY biobags Molly's created by collecting medical waste from the Hospital's patients in her special trash bags!

[[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/191.html At some uncertain point in time]] that could've occurred either before or after Ms. Green first awoke in The Hospital, Dr. Phage brought some medical colleagues to examine the mystifying oddity that was Ms. Green's son, and then put their heads together and determine what should be done with him. Besides Dr. Phage, himself, four others had thoughts to voice at this meeting.

* EatsBabies: Dogs are apparently a staple of Colleague #1's diet. Very worryingly, he insists Ms. Green's baby ''is'' a dog, and the sight of the boy whets his appetite. He is almost certainly [[http://www.bogleech.com/creepy/creepybog-drfleagood.html Dr. Fleagood]] from the fourth Noisy Tenant creepypasta.

* ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels: Colleague #4's proposal that Ms. Green's son should be shoved back up her birth canal... just as one would return an unwanted birthday present back in the box it was pulled out from.

* BlobMonster: Without her bag, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/099.html she's this]].

--> ''Bogleech''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/466.html Thinner Molly]] is Molly during a drought of activity and monster Molly happens during a glut of disease. It's probably not a permanent, one-way transformation but a cycle.

--> ''Bogleech''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/466.html The first time we saw Molly,]] she was thinner and saggier. It was originally just me not really pinning down how best to draw her but I decided later that she probably varies with the volume of medical waste. The Molly we saw last, hanging out with Phage in his little side-arc, is her average "healthy" state. Thinner Molly is Molly during a drought of activity and monster Molly happens during a glut of disease. It's probably not a permanent, one-way transformation but a cycle.

* FatBitch: While Fern was busy hunting for the anomaly in the Inert Vessel, Molly bloats up to over twice her original size!

* BattleaxeNurse

* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A female nurse and a male patient end up spending a great deal of time together. The nurse ends up drawing lots of bodily fluids from her patient, and somehow, between one thing and other, her body grows larger and she produces a litter of little nurses.

*
* FatBitch: While Fern was busy hunting for the anomaly in the Inert Vessel, Molly swelled up to over twice her original size!

--> '''Ms. Green''': But where did you ''come'' from?

--> '''Ms. Green''': And how did you get here?

[[/folder]]

* SpikesOfDoom: Poor Ms. Green.

* FlorenceNightingaleEffect: [[spoiler: Seems she likes miserable mopers suffering from diarrhea of the mouth.]]