History Awesome / TwoAndAHalfMen

6th May '18 5:33:11 PM danlansdowne
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--> ''Judith [to Charlie]:'' I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little--
--> ''Charlie:'' Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women. And yes.
--> ''Judith:'' Figures. Well, I don't want her [Kandi] around my son.
--> ''Alan:'' Oh, oh, oh, really? So, do I get to screen the men that you're dating? And let's not forget, I know about that guy who delivered the truckload of sod.
--> ''Judith:'' What about him?
--> ''Alan:'' '''[scoffs]''' It doesn't take two months to put down a new lawn, Judith.
--> ''Charlie:'' Sounds like she got laid before the sod did.
--> '''Judith then leaves.'''

to:

--> ''Judith '''Judith [to Charlie]:'' Charlie]:''' I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little--
--> ''Charlie:'' '''Charlie:''' Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women. And yes.
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' Figures. Well, I don't want her [Kandi] around my son.
--> ''Alan:'' '''Alan:''' Oh, oh, oh, really? So, do I get to screen the men that you're dating? And let's not forget, I know about that guy who delivered the truckload of sod.
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' What about him?
--> ''Alan:'' '''[scoffs]''' '''Alan:''' ''[scoffs]'' It doesn't take two months to put down a new lawn, Judith.
--> ''Charlie:'' '''Charlie:''' Sounds like she got laid before the sod did.
--> '''Judith ''Judith then leaves.'''
''



--> ''Judith:'' What in God's name does she see in him?
--> ''Charlie:'' Well, I don't have all the details, Mrs.Harper, but apparently when he's not being emasculated and demoralized on a daily basis, he's quite the lover.
--> ''Judith:'' What's that supposed to mean?
--> ''Charlie:'' You know what they say, your average man's like a good field mule: if you don't beat him, he'll keep plowing all day long.
--> ''Judith:'' Nobody says that.
--> ''Charlie:'' You're hard to fool. Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm tired of talking to you.

to:

--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' What in God's name does she see in him?
--> ''Charlie:'' '''Charlie:''' Well, I don't have all the details, Mrs.Harper, but apparently when he's not being emasculated and demoralized on a daily basis, he's quite the lover.
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' What's that supposed to mean?
--> ''Charlie:'' '''Charlie:''' You know what they say, your average man's like a good field mule: if you don't beat him, he'll keep plowing all day long.
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' Nobody says that.
--> ''Charlie:'' '''Charlie:''' You're hard to fool. Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm tired of talking to you.



--> ''Alan [to Judith on the phone]:'' I'll tell him [Charlie] to keep his hands off Myra. And then, I'll tell the rain not to fall, the earth not to spin, and you to STOP NAGGING ME!

to:

--> ''Alan '''Alan [to Judith on the phone]:'' phone]:''' I'll tell him [Charlie] to keep his hands off Myra. And then, I'll tell the rain not to fall, the earth not to spin, and you to STOP NAGGING ME!



--> ''Judith:'' Hey, honey, how's it going?
--> ''Jake:'' Great. Uncle Charlie's a genius!
--> ''Judith:'' Good, good. [to Alan] You said you talked to him.
--> ''Alan:'' I did.
--> ''Judith:'' Then why is Uncle Charlie a genius?
--> ''Alan:'' 'Cause he never got married. (slams door in Judith's face)

to:

--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' Hey, honey, how's it going?
--> ''Jake:'' '''Jake:''' Great. Uncle Charlie's a genius!
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' Good, good. [to Alan] ''[to Alan]'' You said you talked to him.
--> ''Alan:'' '''Alan:''' I did.
--> ''Judith:'' '''Judith:''' Then why is Uncle Charlie a genius?
--> ''Alan:'' '''Alan:''' 'Cause he never got married. (slams door in Judith's face)
6th May '18 5:31:35 PM danlansdowne
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--> Judith [to Charlie]: I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little--
--> Charlie: Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women. And yes.
--> Judith: Figures. Well, I don't want her [Kandi] around my son.
--> Alan: Oh, oh, oh, really? So, do I get to screen the men that you're dating? And let's not forget, I know about that guy who delivered the truckload of sod.
--> Judith: What about him?
--> Alan: [scoffs] It doesn't take two months to put down a new lawn, Judith.
--> Charlie: Sounds like she got laid before the sod did.
--> ''Judith then leaves.''

to:

--> Judith ''Judith [to Charlie]: Charlie]:'' I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little--
--> Charlie: ''Charlie:'' Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women. And yes.
--> Judith: ''Judith:'' Figures. Well, I don't want her [Kandi] around my son.
--> Alan: ''Alan:'' Oh, oh, oh, really? So, do I get to screen the men that you're dating? And let's not forget, I know about that guy who delivered the truckload of sod.
--> Judith: ''Judith:'' What about him?
--> Alan: [scoffs] ''Alan:'' '''[scoffs]''' It doesn't take two months to put down a new lawn, Judith.
--> Charlie: ''Charlie:'' Sounds like she got laid before the sod did.
--> ''Judith '''Judith then leaves.''
'''

* Later, after Kandi movies in...

--> ''Judith:'' What in God's name does she see in him?
--> ''Charlie:'' Well, I don't have all the details, Mrs.Harper, but apparently when he's not being emasculated and demoralized on a daily basis, he's quite the lover.
--> ''Judith:'' What's that supposed to mean?
--> ''Charlie:'' You know what they say, your average man's like a good field mule: if you don't beat him, he'll keep plowing all day long.
--> ''Judith:'' Nobody says that.
--> ''Charlie:'' You're hard to fool. Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm tired of talking to you.



--> Alan [to Judith on the phone]: I'll tell him [Charlie] to keep his hands off Myra. And then, I'll tell the rain not to fall, the earth not to spin, and you to STOP NAGGING ME!

to:

--> Alan ''Alan [to Judith on the phone]: phone]:'' I'll tell him [Charlie] to keep his hands off Myra. And then, I'll tell the rain not to fall, the earth not to spin, and you to STOP NAGGING ME!



--> Judith: Hey, honey, how's it going?
--> Jake: Great. Uncle Charlie's a genius!
--> Judith: Good, good. [to Alan] You said you talked to him.
--> Alan: I did.
--> Judith: Then why is Uncle Charlie a genius?
--> Alan: 'Cause he never got married. (slams door in Judith's face)

to:

--> Judith: ''Judith:'' Hey, honey, how's it going?
--> Jake: ''Jake:'' Great. Uncle Charlie's a genius!
--> Judith: ''Judith:'' Good, good. [to Alan] You said you talked to him.
--> Alan: ''Alan:'' I did.
--> Judith: ''Judith:'' Then why is Uncle Charlie a genius?
--> Alan: ''Alan:'' 'Cause he never got married. (slams door in Judith's face)
10th Mar '18 4:25:19 PM danlansdowne
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* Jake getting an A on his history test in Season 2, Episode 14, an extra moment of awesome comes when Evelyn ends up ripping the moment away in her usual condescending way, but Alan going PapaWolf and giving Evelyn a ReasonYouSuckSpeech and tells her he doesn't want her around his son. Didn't last due to StatusQuoisGod, but it was still great.

to:

* Jake getting an A on his history test in Season 2, Episode 14, an extra moment of awesome comes when Evelyn ends up ripping the moment away in her usual condescending way, but Alan going PapaWolf and giving Evelyn a ReasonYouSuckSpeech and tells her he doesn't want her around his son. Didn't last due to StatusQuoisGod, StatusQuoIsGod, but it was still great.
29th Jan '18 4:40:23 PM huntdaddy
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* After Alan drops Jake off at Judith's house after Jake disobeyed his father and stuck off to a concert, Judith chews Alan out harshly for not keeping watch on Jake and slams the door in his face ([[KickTheDog "God you're useless!"]]), which leaves Alan speechless [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness as opposed to his usual snarky comebacks to his ex-wife]]. However, after catching Jake trying to sneak out of his window again, Alan takes him to the front door, good and ready to get even with Judith over her hypocrisy.

to:

* After Alan drops Jake off at Judith's house after Jake disobeyed his father and stuck off to a concert, Judith chews Alan out harshly for not keeping watch on Jake and slams the door in his face ([[KickTheDog "God you're useless!"]]), which leaves Alan speechless [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness as opposed to making his usual snarky comebacks to his ex-wife]]. However, after catching Jake trying to sneak out of his window again, Alan takes him to the front door, good and ready to get even with Judith over her hypocrisy.
29th Jan '18 4:39:18 PM huntdaddy
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* After Alan drops Jake off at Judith's house after Jake disobeyed his father and stuck off to a concert, Judith chews Alan out harshly for not keeping watch on Jake and slams the door in his face, which leaves Alan speechless [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness as opposed to his usual snarky comebacks to his ex-wife]]. However, after catching Jake trying to sneak out of his window again, Alan takes him to the front door, good and ready to get even with Judith over her hypocrisy.

to:

* After Alan drops Jake off at Judith's house after Jake disobeyed his father and stuck off to a concert, Judith chews Alan out harshly for not keeping watch on Jake and slams the door in his face, face ([[KickTheDog "God you're useless!"]]), which leaves Alan speechless [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness as opposed to his usual snarky comebacks to his ex-wife]]. However, after catching Jake trying to sneak out of his window again, Alan takes him to the front door, good and ready to get even with Judith over her hypocrisy.
29th Jan '18 4:35:46 PM huntdaddy
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to:

* After Alan drops Jake off at Judith's house after Jake disobeyed his father and stuck off to a concert, Judith chews Alan out harshly for not keeping watch on Jake and slams the door in his face, which leaves Alan speechless [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness as opposed to his usual snarky comebacks to his ex-wife]]. However, after catching Jake trying to sneak out of his window again, Alan takes him to the front door, good and ready to get even with Judith over her hypocrisy.
28th Nov '17 11:54:17 AM block99productions
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* Jake has sex with a grown woman (after he lies about being 24 years old).

to:

* Throughout "Not In My Mouth!", Jake has sex flirts with a grown woman (after he lies named Jennifer that Walden brings home, lying to her about being 24 years old).his age. Jake and Jennifer are later left alone together when Walden, Alan, and Lyndsey leave for Paris. [[spoiler: The closing scene reveals that Jake and Jennifer had sex.]] However, she remains unaware of his real age.
28th Nov '17 11:48:50 AM block99productions
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* Jake has sex with a grown woman (after he lies about being 24 years old, the same age as her).

to:

* Jake has sex with a grown woman (after he lies about being 24 years old, the same age as her).old).
28th Nov '17 11:48:01 AM block99productions
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Added DiffLines:

* Jake has sex with a grown woman (after he lies about being 24 years old, the same age as her).
5th Jun '17 4:04:36 PM KizunaTallis
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--> Judith then leaves.

to:

--> Judith ''Judith then leaves.
leaves.''




to:

* "Release the Dogs": Jake makes Charlie promise him that he won't go out with his friend's attractive single mother, but Charlie quickly breaks that promise. Jake gets back at Charlie by first pouring slime on him (courtesy of Rose), and then luring Charlie out on the beach where he's chased by police dogs.



--> Alan: 'Cause he never got married. [slams door in Judith's face] ]

to:

--> Alan: 'Cause he never got married. [slams (slams door in Judith's face] ]face)
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