History Awesome / TheVentureBros

-->'''Red Death:''' Oh, you're up. Goody. We can start your history lesson. Long before there were ''loudmouth buff guys in spandex'', there was the ''gentleman villain''. His favorite sinister act was this: [[ChainedToARailway tying someone to a train track.]] It's simple, inexpensive, personal and ''deadly'', ''but'' it gives you a little hope - ''maybe'' you'll escape. ''[Blind Rage's muffled screams interrupt]'' '''Lesson's ''NOT'' over, sonny!''' *sighs* Now, the gentleman villain had these old school time-bombs, three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. And what was so ''poetic'' about that is that they ''ticked!'' You could ''hear'' them - tick tick tick! Nowadays they're just ''digital'' - no sound, no peril. ''[the sound of an approaching train is heard, getting closer]'' Oh, ohoho, do you hear that? ''There's'' the tick. The train is coming! Is it on this track? Tick tick tick. Maybe it's on the ''other'' track! ''Tick tick tick!'' ''[cackles maniacally]'' Not bad for an ''old man'', huh? I'm gonna get going, let you try to escape. And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership that the Guild isn't ''scared'' of ''punks''. If you don't...eh, '''''sorry'''''.

* Practically all of "O.S.I. Love You" belongs here, but a beautifully understated moment is Dean's ongoing CloningBlues, and the truly ''epic'' shot he takes at Rusty in the O.S.I medbay:

[[folder: Season 1]]

-->'''Brock''': You get the boys outta here; I'll take care of these guys.\\
'''Dr. Venture''': Brock, are you sure? There's an awful lot of them...\\
'''Brock''': ([[TwitchyEye eye twitching]]) '''''[[TranquilFury They hit me with a truck.]]'''''

--->Brock: "I prefer it with the helmet on."

--->'''Dr. Orpheus''': (Grabs Action Man's hands) Two years, seventeen days.\\
'''Action Man''': ... What?\\
'''Dr. Orpheus''': From a stroke. Good day, sir!

-->'''Action Man:''' Not me! [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I got two more years!]]

--->'''Brock''': So how'd I do?\\
'''Agent Treister''': Well, let's see here Mr. Samson. On the driving portion you [[CarFu totaled every car but the one you were driving]]. On the pistol range you [[DoesntLikeGuns refused to use a gun]], and, oh, ''(chuckle)'' here's my favorite: on the written you drew the little guy with wings from the Music/LedZeppelin records--\\
'''Brock''': Icarus. So, uh, what are you trying to tell me here, little man? You don't like Zep?\\

'''Agent Treister''': My father is General Treister. You saved his life. The man spoke of you as a God...and you did not disappoint.\\
'''Brock''': Oh yeah....I used to babysit you.

[[folder: Season 2]]

---> '''Brock''': To prey on their fear, move like an animal, to feel the kill.

-->'''Orpheus''': So, what kind of...uh...menace do you think you could offer the Order of the Triad?
-->'''Torrid''': I've kidnapped your daughter.
-->'''The Alchemist''': ''Wow.''
-->'''Jefferson Twilight''': Balls! Brass Balls!
-->'''Orpheus''': '''[[NoIndoorVoice YOU]] [[LargeHam KIDNAPPED]] [[PapaWolf MY PUMPKIN?!]]'''
-->''(Orpheus leaps across the table to throttle Torrid. Jefferson unsheathes his sword to help him.)''
-->'''The Alchemist (delighted)''': We have a winner! ''(Joins the fray.)''
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz4PdpfI7zY The Monarch's "minty fresh entrance" ''into his accountants office.'']] (Bad directions; It was supposed to be the Secret Venture compound), and, for another, his standoff against Brock on his birthday.

** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CwAY_UDzQI A description just does not capture the sheer level of awesome.]]

-->'''David Bowie''': Hello, I'm David Bowie. [punches Iggy Pop] Make way for the Homo '''Superior!'''

[[folder: Season 3]]

--->THE LAIR OF THE PHANTOM. MINIONS, ATTACK! KILL EVERYONE! GOD WILL RECOGNIZE HIS OWN! TAKE NO PRISONERS! SHOW NO MERCY!

* Colonel Gentleman punching Rusty in the face for breaking his stepdaughters (Dr. Quymn) heart. Followed by fearlessly threatening Brock, the guy who pounded him last time they met.

--->'''Brock Samson''': Oh God the Lord, the strength of my salvation, thou hast covered my head in the day of battle.

---> '''Brock''': You've gotta be kidding me!

[[folder: Season 4]]

--> '''Brock:''' Guess I can cross "Stab Hitler to death" off of my list of cool crap I never thought I'd get to do.

* There are times when Dr. Venture seems like the essential ubermench, especially in ''"Assisted Suicide"''. After undergoing ''Mind Assassination'' Hank asks if Dr. Venture is okay. In response he relates a traumatic story about his father while he was a teenager. Hank: "That sounds like a nightmare." Dr. Venture: ''"No, what I went through today is a nightmare. What happened on my 16th birthday? That is my '''''life'''''."''

--->'''Dean''': You know what I think? [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]] You!

[[folder: Season 5]]

-->'''Hank''': I am The Bat. The night is mine!

[[folder: Season 6]]

---> '''Shore Leave''': How come even when I [[BodyDouble am]] Brock, I wish I was Brock!?

[[folder: Season 7]]

--> '''Rusty:''' I get it! I suddenly get it. You're ''children''! That's why my dad put you in the pool and made you duke it out! Newsflash, my dad was a shitty parent! But when my boys cry about fairness, I remind them that fairness is the philosophical tooth fairy! There is no fairness! What'd you guys come here fo-\\

--> '''Rose:''' I'll let you take the first swing. And if you don't put me down, I'll beat the living shit out of you 'til my arthritis kicks in. And I just took my Humira.[[note]]Humira is typically taken every other week, meaning Rose is going to have at least ''14 straight days'' to freely kick St. Cloud's ass.[[/note]]

--> '''Red Death:''' Oh, you're up. Goody. We can start your history lesson. Long before there were ''loudmouth buff guys in spandex'', there was the ''gentleman villain''. His favorite sinister act was this: [[ChainedToARailway tying someone to a train track.]] It's simple, inexpensive, personal and ''deadly'', ''but'' it gives you a little hope - ''maybe'' you'll escape. ''[Blind Rage's muffled screams interrupt]'' '''Lesson's ''NOT'' over, sonny!''' *sighs* Now, the gentleman villain had these old school time-bombs, three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. And what was so ''poetic'' about that is that they ''ticked!'' You could ''hear'' them - tick tick tick! Nowadays they're just ''digital'' - no sound, no peril. ''[the sound of an approaching train is heard, getting closer]'' Oh, ohoho, do you hear that? ''There's'' the tick. The train is coming! Is it on this track? Tick tick tick. Maybe it's on the ''other'' track! ''Tick tick tick!'' ''[cackles maniacally]'' Not bad for an ''old man'', huh? I'm gonna get going, let you try to escape. And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership that the Guild isn't ''scared'' of ''punks''. If you don't...eh, '''''sorry'''''.

--> '''Brock''': (''on P.A.'') Testing, testing, hello idiots. Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for accepting this suicide mission. Your target, a one Brock Samson, has been really bored lately and will enjoy the shit out of this. Each one of you fine soldiers will be sacrificed for his amusement. Your unavoidable deaths will become the stuff of legends. Every new recruit will hear the story of the time a Guild Black-Out team got locked in the [=VenTech=] tower, behind 7 inch bomb-proof steel doors and were killed one by one in glorious service to this dumbass guild you joined. Good luck out there, and thank you for your service.

* While relatively tame compared to some of the shit Brock's done in the show, there's [[EstablishingCharacterMoment Brock's first appearance]]. He singlehandedly killed a Crocodile in front of two United Nation Guards who look in awe, then after the guards told him he couldn't enter with the knife, he CHALLENGES THEM to take the knife from him. Understandably, the guard attempting this sweats in fear, and when he looks to the other guard, [[GenreSavvy he tells him not to do it.]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NpsXS8bnHE Words don't do it justice.]]

* At the end of "Blood of The Father, Heart of Steel", he ''kills Hitler''. Hitler in the form of an [[YouClonedHitler angry dog with his brain/soul in it]], but Hitler nonetheless. And he does it with a ceremonial golden dagger, such that the dog is ''disintegrated'' by the magic afterwards.

* Red Death gets another when he reveals the truth(or at least most of the truth) of the infamous Movie Night Massacre, the night Jonas Venture died on Gargantua 1. Turns out Red Death in his younger days was part of a ragtag group of rookie villains. Only these rookies were ambitious enough to actually fly up there and arch the man. Vendetta, still a rookie himself at the time, realized the entire crew would be all in one place for movie night so they went up there. Except when Vendetta confronted Jonas, he opens the bay doors. The crew and 3 of Red’s gang shot out into the vacuum of space dying a horrible horrible death. Suffice to say the Sovereign found out about their unsanctioned raid and what did he do? Well instead of having the survivors killed on the spot, he saw an opportunity. He framed the whole thing on S.P.H.I.N.X, kickstarting the Pyramid Wars in which Brock was recruited into the Osi to fight in. In other words, an unsanctioned arching gone way south led to triggering a massive war all so the Sovereign could save face and it wound up wiping out most of the Guild’s competition!

** Gove some credit to the last trooper. Instead of getting Samson’d they die a quick death via poison tooth. Yeah they still die but at least it’s on their terms and not Brock’s.

--> '''Red Death:''' Oh, you're up. Goody. We can start your history lesson. Long before there were loudmouth buff guys in spandex, there was the gentleman villain. His favourite sinister act was this: tying someone to a train track. It's simple, inexpensive, personal and deadly, ''but'' it gives you a little hope - maybe you'll escape. ''[Blind Rage's muffled screams interrupt]'' '''Lesson's ''NOT'' over, sonny!''' *sighs* Now, the gentleman villain had these old school time-bombs, three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. And what was so poetic about that is that they ''ticked''. You could ''hear'' them - tick tick tick. Nowadays they're just digital - no sound, no peril. ''[the sound of an approaching train is heard, getting closer]'' Oh, ohoho, do you hear that? ''There's'' the tick. The train is coming! Is it on this track? Tick tick tick. Maybe it's on the other track! ''Tick tick tick!'' ''[cackles maniacally]'' Not bad for an old man, huh? I'm gonna get going, let you try to escape. And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership that the Guild isn't scared of punks. If you don't, eh, sorry.

--> '''Red Death:''' Oh, you're up. Goody. We can start your history lesson. Long before there were loudmouth buff guys in spandex, there was the gentleman villain. His favourite sinister act was this: tying someone to a train track. It's simple, inexpensive, personal and deadly, ''but'' it gives you a little hope - maybe you'll escape. ''[Blind Rage's muffled screams interrupt]'' '''Lesson's ''NOT'' over, sonny!''' *sighs* Now, the gentleman villain had these old school time-bombs, three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. And what was so poetic about that is that they ''ticked''. You could ''hear'' them - tick tick tick. Nowadays they're just digital - no sound, no peril. ''[the sound of an approaching train is heard, getting closer]'' Oh, ohoho, do you hear that? ''There's'' the tick. The train is coming! Is it on this track? Tick tick tick. Maybe it's on the other track! ''Tick tick tick!''

* cackles maniacally* Not bad for an old man, huh? I'm gonna get going, let you try to escape. And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership that the Guild isn't scared of punks. If you don't, eh, sorry.

--> '''Brock''': (''on P.A.'') Testing, testing, hello idiots. Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for accepting this suicide mission. Your target, a one Brock Sampson, has been really bored lately and will enjoy the shit out of this. Each one of you fine soldiers will be sacrificed for his amusement. Your unavoidable deaths will become the stuff of legends. Every new recruit will hear the story of the time a Guild Black-Out team got locked in the [=VenTech=] tower, behind 7 inch bomb-proof steel doors and were killed one by one in glorious service to this dumbass guild you joined. Good luck out there, and thank you for your service.

--> '''Red Death:''' Oh, you're up. Goody. We can start your history lesson. Long before there were loudmouth buff guys in spandex, there was the gentleman villain. His favourite sinister act was this: tying someone to a train track. It's simple, inexpensive, personal and deadly, ''but'' it gives you a little hope - maybe you'll escape. ''[Blind Rage's muffled screams interrupt]'' '''Lesson's ''NOT'' over, sonny!''' *sighs* Now, the gentleman villain had these old school time-bombs, three sticks of dynamite wired to an alarm clock. And what was so poetic about that is that they ''ticked''. You could ''hear'' them - tick tick tick. Nowadays they're just digital - no sound, no peril. ''[the sound of an approaching train is heard, getting closer]'' Oh, ohoho, do you hear that? ''There's'' the tick. The train is coming! Is it on this track? Tick tick tick. Maybe it's on the other track! ''Tick tick tick!'' *cackles maniacally* Not bad for an old man, huh? I'm gonna get going, let you try to escape. And if you do, tell the Peril Partnership that the Guild isn't scared of punks. If you don't, eh, sorry.

** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUgUr8yvIwo The last 2:30 minutes of the episode were just fantastic.]] Spoilers, obviously.

* Even if it turned out to be JustADream its genuinely impressive that the chronically desperate Rusty not only walked into an orgy and was hardly interested, but also balked at the idea of compromising his invention in exchange for sex, money, and power. He gives in eventually, but its a big step up from his callus behavior in early seasons.

'''Rusty:''' Fine! Not guys. What'd you ''children'' come here for?! Look, you won't get everything. But you'll get something! Stop with this fairness crap and make some compromises. Then go back home to your friends in your goofy costumes and brag about how much you got 'em! Or... you can go back and go 'oooh, we didn't get everything we wanted, so we got nothing! Because we're big babies!' What's it gonna be?!

* Georgio gets one by scamming St Cloud out of thousands of dollars due to purchasing the island of [[NamesTheSame "Spanakopita"]] which is also the name of a Greek spinach pie, as well as successfully getting revenge on Jonas due to all of money Rusty gave them from his yearly visits.

[[folder: Others/Meta]]

* BadassDecay or not, Monarch can still pull off [[https://youtu.be/4PDz3LzFcSo?t=1m4s one hell of a classic]] EvilLaugh

** And at the end of the episode, he goes back to the strip joint he and Dr. Venture hit up earlier in the episode, to take his revenge on the bartender who made fun of his hair. When he [[WhatAnIdiot makes fun of Brock's hair]], ''[[TooDumbToLive again]]'', Brock simply slaps his newly renewed license to kill on the bar in front of him. The last thing the bartender does is give Brock an OhCrap look before Brock leaps over the bar and starts whaling on him.

* In the third season premiere, it's revealed that The Monarch stole Dr. Girlfriend from Phantom Limb ''while working as one of his henchmen'', and successfully passed the blame onto some poor schmuck called the Manotaur.
** This seems to be more a massive WhatAnIdiot moment for Phantom Limb, who does not recognize his then henchman as well as holding a grudge against someone who looks nothing like him.
** Not to mention his triumphant foray into the lair of the Phantom in that very episode.

** His first attempt to kill Venture as the Monarch where he simply ''[[CarFu drives a car through every room of the building Blues Brothers-style to get to the lab]]'', even if he stepped out and got his ass kicked.

* Georgio gets one by scamming St Cloud out of thousands of dollars due to purchasing the island of [[NamesTheSame "Spanikopita"]] which is also the name of a Greek spinach pie, as well as successfully getting revenge on Jonas due to all of money Rusty gave them from his yearly visits.

** To expand on this: He defeats a squad of humanoid animals with all the strengths of their animal side (claws, teeth, speed) and their human side (bipedal, thumbs, ''guns'') in ''hand to hand combat'', lays an arsenal of booby traps that would make the Veit Cong blush, kills at least half a dozen other hybrids just during their regular patrols in the forest, all while sick with diarreha and dehydrated from the coffee beans he's been eating and armed only with a home made jet pack, native american bat mask, and a cape made of palm leaves.