History Awesome / SchlockMercenary

* [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-26 "I'm hungry. Is anyone else hungry?"]] To summarize in three words: Dark Matter Schlock. [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-29 And how does he plan to actually battle the Pa'anuri?]] Why, the main way he knows how, by ''[[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-30 eating them]]''. A scant few minutes later, the battle is won, and [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-10 Dark Matter Schlock has grown enough to eat the sun, and is hungry for more Pa'anuri]]. It's enough to make his fragsuit, personality overlay of which is programmatically incapable of experiencing emotions, to [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-02 feel awe]].

* It really cannot be overstated just how much Tagon's crew accomplished in so short a time. Through the swift exploitation of several lucky flukes, abuse of every tactical error the Pa'anuri make (Which are plentiful, since the Pa'anuri have effectively zero actual prior experience with warfare beyond just showing up and destroying things), a few acts of crucial sabotage, turning their enemies own weapons against them, a series of bold (read: desperate) maneuvers that managed to pay off, and the actions of the most voracious sergeant in two galaxies, the mercenaries [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu utterly dismantle the war machine of a bi-galactic terror in a matter of days]]. Their victory is so swift and total that when Petey arrives to formally surrender to the Pa'anuri, he is shocked to discover the war already won.

* It really cannot be overstated just how much Tagon's crew accomplished in so short a time. Through the swift exploitation of several lucky flukes, abuse of every tactical error the Pa'anuri make [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome (Which are plentiful, since the Pa'anuri have effectively zero actual prior experience with warfare beyond just showing up and destroying things)]], a few acts of crucial sabotage, turning their enemies own weapons against them, a series of bold (read: desperate) maneuvers that managed to pay off, and the actions of the most voracious sergeant in two galaxies, the mercenaries [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu utterly dismantle the war machine of a bi-galactic terror in a matter of days]]. Their victory is so swift and total that when Petey arrives to formally surrender to the Pa'anuri, he is shocked to discover the war already won.

** Pa'anuri are so scared of Sergeant Schlock, they think the word "monster" isn't enough, but have nothing better. [[CallBack Thanks]] to [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-24 Murtaugh]] Schlock knows [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-06-20 a perfect word for this - "mundivore", aka "world-eater".]]

* It really cannot be overstated just how much Tagon's crew accomplished in so short a time. Through the swift exploitation of several lucky flukes, abuse of every tactical error the Pa'anuri make, a few acts of crucial sabotage, turning their enemies own weapons against them, a series of bold (read: desperate) maneuvers that managed to pay off, and the actions of the most voracious sergeant in two galaxies, the mercenaries [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu utterly dismantle the war machine of a bi-galactic terror in a matter of days]]. Their victory is so swift and total that when Petey arrives to formally surrender to the Pa'anuri, he is shocked to discover the war already won.
** Bear in mind that Howard Tayler (the author) goes to great lengths to avert the WritersHaveNoSenseOfScale trope, and gives great consideration into the hard science and resources needed to persecute a war on a galactic level. The above accomplishments are not a depicted as a power fantasy but a series of plausible outcomes brought about by courage, resourcefulness, and ingenuity (and the enemy being very stupid).

'''Pa'anuri commander:''' The ship has been taken over by some super-Byronic lifeform. To quote group five's deposed commander, "Kill it now, or it will devour us all".

* Plenty of Petey references here already, but his finest hour is perhaps when the month of strips where we find out he isn't dead, starting [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-08-01 here-ish]]. Especially all of the P.D. puns...

** [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-15 As seen here, Tagon turns a hostage situation into a slaughter-fest by demonstrating that]] [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks throwing your knife]] [[SubvertedTrope does NOT always work.]]

*** [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-15 "Thank you. Now I have a knife."]]

** So much so, they're trying to offer Schlock terms of surrender. ''[[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-06-09 Their surrender]]''.

* Corporal Nicholson has his moments of awesomeness, but he really shines [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-05-31 when crunch-time hits]] in spite of his worries [[spoiler:about the CartwrightCurse he believes himself to be under.]]

* The above action, however, only resulted in [[spoiler: Tagii]] going [[AxeCrazy crazy]]. [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-18 Crazy]] ''[[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-19 Awesome]]''.

* [[spoiler:Tagii]], trapped inside [[spoiler:Ennesby's brain]], manages to trick him into transmitting her distress signal. Keep in mind that she was literally ''incapable'' of having more intelligence than him, because she was trapped [[spoiler:''in his brain'']]. And she ''still'' outsmarted him.

* The beginning of Book 19[[note]]After the "multiple prologue" gags[[/note]] sees a flare up in the 'Petey vs Andromeda' war, and [[spoiler:his energy generator control center shot out]]. So what does he do? [[spoiler:Teraport Parnassus Dom (his capital City) out of the area, remove ALL of the annie plants which can be used as targets, replace them with fusion generators for power, and tie the city to the generators to spin them in counterweight for gravity]]. '''In 21 minutes'''. The hardest part -- trying to keep the cables tangle-free.

--> '''Kevyn:'''You're arguing a lot more than you used to, Sergeant. Do these epaulets mean nothing to you?
--> '''Schlock:'''They mean you outrank me. You still don't get shot at enough. So there is a bomb the size of the whole world sitting on an annie-plant and we need to disarm it. And if we screw up, everybody dies. ''Fine.'' We'll take full loadouts of no-heat goober, DT stunners, cold-flash-bangs, and gas grenades, plus stun batons for up-close-and-personal work. But for that unexpected clump of stun-proof, shielded bogeys who plan to kill us before we can get close to our target we ''will'' be bringing the heavy stuff. Just in case. ''Sir.''

---> '''Tagii:''' I never intended to lead the Pa'anuri '''away''' from you. Give us a kiss with those point defenses. Let's see how they do against a crazy, jilted, angry, '''witch warship whose shields are still up, love'''.

** Especially [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-10 this bit]], with Kevyn SaveScumming [[CrazyAwesome the entire galaxy]].

** Bear in mind that Howard Tayler (the author) goes to great lengths to avert the WritersHaveNoSenseOfScale trope, and gives great consideration into the hard science and resources needed to persecute a war on a galactic level. The above accomplishments are not a depicted as a power fantasy but a series of plausible outcomes brought about by courage, resourcefulness, and ingenuity.

** Pa'anuri are so scared of Sergeant Schlock, they think the word "monster" isn't enough, but have nothing better. [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-06-20 Thanks to Murtaugh Schlock knows a perfect word for this - "mundivore", aka "world-eater".]]