History Awesome / SchlockMercenary

-->'''Gugro: '''As of right ''now'', we're all refugees. That word means ''this'' is our refuge. Not just this ''place''. '''''Each other'''''. And that's what will save us.\\
''[clear, concise, effective and "you-can-do-it" inspiring set of organizational instructions to the refugees omitted for brevity]''
-->'''Lt. Flinders: '''I've changed my mind. I'll give the speech, you do the org chart.

* A toss-up between [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050530.html Kevyn annihilating a shielded tank with an epaulet grenade]] and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20070426.html taking out an entire enemy fortress with his bare hands.]]
** Or ''during'' the fortress-kill: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20070424.html "Hello again, commodore. I have a tank now. It's very shiny, but there's an ugly stain on the upholstery."]]
* Elf [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060430.html proving she's beautiful.]]

* Her ''charging a '''Battleplate''''' (the most powerful individual starships in existence, not counting the Fleetmind) ''with an unarmed diplomatic ship?'' And ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20071216.html winning.]]''

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050611.html The birth of Emperor Pius Dei]], or perhaps [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050717.html the largest, fastest, and most bloodless military victory in known history.]]
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050622.html This scene alone.]] Like a chainsaw through butter, indeed.

** Especially [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-10 this bit]], with Kevyn SaveScumming [[CrazyAwesome the entire galaxy]].

** [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20080731.html "LOTA shall now juggle seven hundred and fifty tons of cargo using LOTA's military-grade gravitics while flying. Perhaps someday LOTA will find something challenging to do."]]
** LOTA [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090201.html earns]] LOTA's [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080612.html name.]]
** And another one for LOTA: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090219.html Now please stop pretending that you are the voice of the people. You just happen to be loud, and wearing a microphone.]]
** [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20091206.html LOTA, master poker player.]]
** LOTA actually [[BatmanGrabsAGun using a pronoun]] at the start is [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness awesome enough]], as seen [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-25 here.]]
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080427.html Tagon's badassery with the pugil stick.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20030511.html Don't forget the first time it happened.]]
*** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20100815.html "Thank you. Now I have a knife."]]
* Petey planning his first mission as an official officer of the crew as well as the resident AI was pretty awesome. Tagon's Toughs are no slouches at getting paid inventively but in his first attempt at a mission Petey managed to get them paid [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020929.html "five times for a very easy job".]] Then he just increased the scale of his plans from there.
* Even [[RedShirt John der Trihs]] gets not [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20051031.html one]], but [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060101.html two.]]
** Don't forget [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20051018.html this one.]] Especially the footnote.
* While we occasionally hear that the clothing-like PoweredArmor bestows SuperStrength, we rarely get to see that feature come into play. Then we have the waif-like Ensign Ventura, surrounded by disabled comrades and an angry mob, and...[[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20090124.html yikes.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-07 Tagon's]] "I don't tell you how to remove bullets. Don't you tell me how to make killing machines back into little girls." is also pretty damn nice.
* Plenty of Petey references here already, but his finest hour is perhaps when the month of strips where we find out he isn't dead, starting [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040801.html here-ish]]. Especially all of the P.D. puns...
* And there was the time when [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20020324.html Massey started a very brief firefight in a courtroom.]]

* Colonel Dehaans subjects the entirety of the Toughs to a memory altering treatment, including Schlock, who promised to find Dehaans after it was over and eat him. Schlock [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080223.html gets around the memory treatment with his crazy biology.]] Then, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080224.html he fulfills the promise he made to the good Colonel.]]
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080520.html Tag is just]] as [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080521.html trigger-happy]] as the rest of the Toughs, and [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080522.html not above joking about it too!]]
** And also [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20081017.html this.]]
* The [[NoNameGiven ore freighter Captain]] inadvertently becoming the principal of Qlavical through an improvised defense of his planet involving "Rocks, ramming and balls of steel" (all three are literal. Even the balls of steel). [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20051218.html "Show me your DREAM MESS!"]]
* Corporal Nicholson has his moments of awesomeness, but he really shines [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20100531.html when crunch-time hits]] in spite of his worries [[spoiler:about the CartwrightCurse he believes himself to be under.]]

* Schlock gets a promotion by doing a SherlockScan [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090604.html with his]] ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090604.html nose.]]''
* Tailor [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-31 confirms]] his [[TookALevelInBadass level of badassery]], originally implied [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-18 here.]]

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-07 Starting from here,]] [[BigDamnHeroes onward, perhaps the best Big Damn Heroes moment to date.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-09 Hell Already Slipped Its Leash, Mister Crunchy.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-10 THIS is what Schlock would do.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-12 I see angels...]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-13 Awww, we just got here!]]
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-05-27 Here]] we see Captain Tagon demonstrating that while he may be BookDumb, he's no slouch in the tactical department.

** Schlock goes up against a sniper who has been dogging him for a bit. The last time he fought him, his rapid-fire micro-grenade launcher wasn't hitting the target. This time, Schlock knows exactly how long his grenades are going to take to drop, and [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20090106.html he's kind enough to let the sniper know.]]
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-02 We don't run from the end of the world. We CHARGE!]]
* "Wow. They're like popcorn." "Weak simile. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-07-31 These have to be popped twice.]]"
* Tino shows that he has [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-10-02 learned]] from his [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-28 earlier instruction.]]

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-03-17 Kathryn v.s. Schlock.]] Skinny Kathryn beats Schlock with nothing more than her wits and a little force multiplication.
** And Dr. Bunnigus [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-04-08 makes it even more awesome]] by calling Schlock on his chauvinism.
* She's always been delightfully snarky, but Tagii really gets to show her stuff in the ''Random Access Memorabilia'' arc, from [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-07-01 providing overwatch]] against [[ItMakesSenseInContext zombie supersoldiers]] to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-08-05 effortlessly curbstomping]] an attacking warship flotilla. Keep in mind that these zombie supersoldiers were easily on par with Kevyn's streak of badassery during ''The Pointy End of the Stick''.
* Thurl managing to [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-08-15 retake the Touch and Go]] with [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-08-12 a docking shuttle]], [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-08-16 two other crewmembers in inferior armor]], and a logic probe.
* The above action, however, only resulted in [[spoiler: Tagii]] going [[AxeCrazy crazy]]. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-18 Crazy]] ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-19 Awesome]]''.

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-24 The first rule of AI kill-switches is "Don't talk about the AI kill switch."]]

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-02-23 Bristlecone asks Ventura to recruit Kaff Tagon, and suggests doing so via delegation.]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-02-24 She does so beautifully.]]

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-12-06 Elf demonstrates why she's such a good partner to Kevyn.]]
* Captain Landon, Internal Affairs officer for the JSF. In an enemy stronghold, surrounded by heavily-armed officers, and he's the only one who hasn't been suborned by a nanite hack. Most people wouldn't survive such a scenario. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-01-18 Most people aren't uplifted polar bears.]]
** Captain Landon then proceeds to pretty much [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-08 wipe out the remaining suborned JSC troops left over after the Toughs take out their main force]] [[OneManArmy singlehandedly]].

* Kevyn teaches Schlock physics. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-06 Schlock learns how to shoot around corners.]]
* Schlock provides close air support. ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-02-01 With chainsaws, hammers, and flying cars.]]''

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-01-25 Airborne Schlock duel-wielding hammers....]]
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-03 Maxim 20:]] [[HeroicSacrifice "If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win."]]

---> [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-04 12/04/2008]]
* Crazy-Tagii's has to be [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-18 this]] quote:

* Danita [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-08-28 goes full supersoldier on Esspererin mechs]], ripping one apart with her bare hands and using its torn off ArmCannon (which is [[{{BFG}} as large as herself]]) to blow up a few more.
* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-07-08 Petey is faced with the choice of killing enemy combatants]] (something he's trying not to do these days) or losing control of Osiri. [[TakeAThirdOption Instead,]] he [[LetsGetDangerous rolls up his sleeves]] and [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-07-09 teraports the entire planet away]]. By his own admission, he almost broke the galaxy this time.

* Although Ennesby is often treated as a ButtMonkey, he's still employed by hardened mercenaries for a damn good reason. For example, that time his intuition and genre savvyness [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-08-20 saved the galaxy]]. Note that was the only one to figure out the All-Star's master plan even though he was surrounded by A.I. with several times his processing power, making them literally smarter than him. Smarter, [[GuileHero but not more cunning]].

* After fending off the [[EldritchAbomination Pa'anuri,]] for years, [[DeusEstMachina Petey]] is finally at the end of his rope. [[DarkestHour His main power source is destroyed, the Pa,anuri are on the offensive with a massive armada, and he's being bombarded with LongShot strikes from Andromeda that he cannot defend against or prevent]]. The ''only'' card up his sleeve is to teleport a small strikeforce to a galaxy teaming with planet sized monstrosities in a desperate counterattack. He puts all his faith in [[WalkingDisasterArea Schlock]] without hesitation. Let that sink in; the [[AGodAmI most powerful being in the Milky Way]], with all his resources and knowledge, turns to ''Schlock'' in his hour of need.

* After fending off the [[EldritchAbomination Pa'anuri,]] for years, [[DeusEstMachina Petey]] is finally at the end of his rope. [[DarkestHour His main power source is destroyed, the Pa,anuri are on the offensive with a massive armada, and he's being bombarded with LongShot strikes from Andromeda that he cannot defend against or prevent]]. The ''only'' card up his sleeve is to teleport a small strikeforce to a galaxy teaming with planet sized monstrosities in a desperate counterattack. He puts all his faith in [[WalkingDisasterArea Schlock]] without hesitation.

* After years of fending off the [[EldritchAbomination Pa'anuri,]] Peatey is finaly at the end of his rope. [[DarkestHour His main power source at the core of the milky way is destroyed, the Pa,anuri are on the offensive with a massive armada, and is being bombarded with longshot strikes that he cannot defend against or protect]]. The ''only'' card up his sleeve is to teleport a tiny strikeforce to counterattack before he loses the chance to do so. Who does he choose to take on an entire galaxy's worth of planet sized monstrosities? [[Spoiler: Schlock]].

* In "Function of Firepower part IV," you have to give it to the security captain. When confronted with a truly gigantic space ship that has just thrown a planet, his first reaction is to start broadcasting data and then start testing, so hopefully someone else might have some idea how to fight it.

* You have to give it to the ship commander in the latest story line. When confronted with a truly gigantic space ship that has just thrown a planet, his first reaction is to start broadcasting data and then start testing, so hopefully someone else might have some idea how to fight it.

* A [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness suddendly humorless]] Ennesby "good old [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech one]]-[[KirkSummation two]]" [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-01-09 verbal punching of the Descension Admiral]] regarding Chinook's "[[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-01-08 surgical coma]]":

* The beginning of Book 19[[note]]After the "multiple prologue" gags[[/note]] sees a flare up in the 'Petey vs Andromeda' war, and [[spoiler:his energy generator control center shot out]]. So what does he do? [[spoiler:Teraport Parnassus Dom (his capital City) out of the area, remove ALL of the annie plants which can be used as targets, replace them with fusion generators for power, and tie the city to the generators to spin them in counterweight for gravity]]. '''In 21 minutes'''. The hardest part -- trying to keep he cables tangle-free.
-->'''Cindy:''' I have never had that much string.

---> '''Tagii:''' I never intended to lead the Pa'anuri '''away''' from you. Give us a kiss with those point defenses. Let's see how thdy do against a crazy, jilted, angry, '''witch warship whose shields are still up, love'''.

* The beginning of Book 19[[note]]After the "multiple prologue" gags[[/note]] sees a flare up in the 'Petey vs Andromeda' war, and [[spoiler:his energy generator control center shot out]]. So what does he do? [[spoiler:Teraport Parnassus Dom (his capital City) out of the area, remove ALL of the annie plants which can be used as targets, replace them with fussion generators for power, and tie the city to the generators to spin them in counterweight for gravity]]. '''In 21 minutes'''. The hardest part -- trying to kept the cables tangle-free.

-->'''Ennesby: '''If you're smart enough to do two things at once, you should be smart enough to simultaneously NOT do two things. Don't substitute guilt for grief, and don't substitute serenity for responsability.

** And now it has been carried out![[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-30]]

-->'''Ennesby: '''If you're smart enough to do two things at once, you should be smart enough to simultaneously NOT do two things. Don't substitude guilt for grief, and don't substitute serenity for responsability.

* The beginning of Book 19[[note]]After the "multiple prologue" gags[[/note]] sees a flare up in the 'Petey vs Andromeda' war, and [[spoiler:his energy generator control center shot out]]. So what does he do? [[spoiler:Teraport Parnassus Dom (his capital City) out of the area, remove ALL of the annie plants which can be used as targets, replace them with fussion generators for power, and tie the city to the generators to spin them in counterweight for gravity]]. '''In 21 minutes'''. The hardest part -- trying to kept the string tangle-free.

* The entire plot of "Mandatory Failure — Part I" is turning into an extended CMoA for Elf, who is singlehandedly seizing entire enemy ships.
** Made even more CMoA by the fact she actually did it with limited ammo, due to carrying Fobott'r relics the UPA had stolen, which led to her causing a CMoH. Tagon even has a complaint about it when the Fobottr's religious leader calls her a hero over it; compared to seizing three enemy ships ''and'' toppling an entire political cabal in a matter of hours with extremely limited ammo, hiding relics in an ammo magazine isn't quite as impressive (to a military mind at least).

** Made even more CMoA by the fact she actually did it with limited ammo, due to carrying Fobott'r relics the UPA had stolen, which led to her causing a CMoH.

* Not only did Schlock realize that their disabled tank might kill thousands while crashing, he came up with a way of preventing it in the few seconds [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-12 before escaping from the falling tank]], and did it in such a way that he got to create a giant explosion. Could double as a moment of heartwarming considering Schlock's usual disregard for collateral damage.
* Schlock goes up against a sniper who has been dogging him for a bit. The last time he fought him, his rapid-fire micro-grenade launcher wasn't hitting the target. This time, Schlock knows exactly how long his grenades are going to take to drop, and [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20090106.html he's kind enough to let the sniper know.]]

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-02 We don't run from the end of the world. We CHARGE!]]

''[clear, concise, effective and "you-can-do-it" inspiring set of organizational instructions to the refugees ommited for brevity]''

* Corp- err, [[InsistentTerminology Marshall]] Gugro on-the-fly RousingSpeech [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2018-06-16to the refugees at Gruuli's Legacy]].

-->Lt. Flinders: '''I've changed my mind. I'll give the speech, you do the org chart.

* [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-07-08 Petey is faced with the choice of killing enemy combatants]] (something he's trying not to do these days) or losing control of Osiri. [[TakeAThirdOption Instead,]] he [[LetsGetDangerous rolls up his sleeves]] and teraports the entire planet away. By his own admission, he almost broke the galaxy this time.