History Awesome / Roseanne

25th Feb '17 10:39:56 PM Gravidef
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** What makes it even better is that the women were largely blue-collar workers with families, who didn't have a ton of employment prospects outside of Wellman. But despite all that, they ''still'' rallied together and [[RosseauWasRight chose their dignity and friendship over their jobs.]]

to:

** What makes it even better is that the women were largely blue-collar workers with families, who didn't have a ton of employment prospects outside of Wellman. But despite all that, they ''still'' rallied together and [[RosseauWasRight [[RousseauWasRight chose their dignity and friendship over their jobs.]]
25th Feb '17 10:38:18 PM Gravidef
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* Roseanne and Dan have just found out that Roseanne's sister, Jackie, was being physically abused by her boyfriend. As Roseanne takes Jackie to the hospital, Dan just stands there, looking ''very pissed''... before grabbing his coat and stomping out the door, clearly out for blood. Half the studio audience did the standard dramatic "Ohhh!" The other half ''applauded.''

to:

* In "War and Peace," Roseanne and Dan have just found finds out that Roseanne's sister, Jackie, was being physically Jackie has been abused by Fisher, her boyfriend. As While Jackie breaks down and sobs, Dan comes in and asks about the situation. Roseanne only says that "Fisher beat the crap out of her," and takes Jackie her into the bathroom to clean up. Dan stands silently in the kitchen...then goes without a word to the hospital, Dan just stands there, looking ''very pissed''... before grabbing back door and picks up his coat and stomping out the door, clearly out for blood.coat--and we ''immediately'' know [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown what's about to happen]]. Half the studio audience did the standard dramatic "Ohhh!" The other half ''applauded.''



-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to kick YOUR butt!"

to:

-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to kick YOUR butt!"butt!



* The "Wellman Walkout". In "Let's Call It Quits", their obnoxious, condescending, and sexist boss Mr. Faber has set unrealistic quotas for the factory workers. Roseanne discusses it with him, and he says he'll lower the quotas if she'll show him some ('''undeserved''') respect. She does, and he turns around and raises the quotas back to their original numbers. When she goes to confront him and ask why he did it, he says simply "Because I can," and when he realizes he could break her, he could get the others to do whatever he wanted. Roseanne tears him a new one about it and storms off. He goes after her and Roseanne simply can't take it anymore, and she (followed by the other girls) very calmly all walk over, promptly take their time cards, punch out, and walk away. As they leave, Roseanne turns and says, "I guess we won't be making our quotas today, honeybunch."

to:

* The "Wellman Walkout". In "Let's Call It Quits", their obnoxious, condescending, and sexist boss Mr. Faber has set unrealistic quotas for the factory workers. Roseanne discusses it with him, and he says he'll lower the quotas if she'll show him some ('''undeserved''') respect. She does, and he turns around and raises the quotas back to their original numbers. When she goes to confront him and ask why he did it, he says simply "Because I can," and when he realizes he could break her, he could get the others to do whatever he wanted. Roseanne tears him a new one about it and storms off. He goes after off into the lunchroom. When Mr. Faber follows her and offers more insults, Roseanne simply can't take it anymore, announces that she won't put up with this any more and she (followed by the other girls) very calmly all walk over, promptly take their punches out her time cards, punch out, card, quitting. Mr. Faber sarcastically applauds her "performance," then reminds the women that there are two doors to the lunchroom: "one that pays, and walk away.one that doesn't." There's a moment of silence...and then Jackie gets up and punches out as well. Crystal follows, and one by one, every woman on the staff joins them. As they leave, Roseanne turns and says, "I guess we won't be making our quotas today, honeybunch.""
** What makes it even better is that the women were largely blue-collar workers with families, who didn't have a ton of employment prospects outside of Wellman. But despite all that, they ''still'' rallied together and [[RosseauWasRight chose their dignity and friendship over their jobs.]]



-->'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?

to:

-->'''Roseanne''': Well Well, who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?



-->'''Mike''': Is your husband home?

to:

-->'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': ...Is your husband home?home?
** Later, when Mike shows up at the bike shop, all it takes is Roseanne coming out and giving him a friendly hello to send him packing.
22nd Nov '16 8:36:43 AM creader
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* Darlene has been seeing another guy, Jimmy, while still with David. And despite initially accepting this, David finally confronts Darlene over it and demands she make a choice between him or Jimmy. [[KickTheDog Darlene picks Jimmy.]] And while it's a TearJerker moment, the awesome part comes when David delivers ''one'' line that shows how selfish and cruel Darlene has been to him after she states their break-up is [[ItsAllAboutMe hard on her too]]:
-->'''David:''' ''(to Darlene)'' [[TranquilFury Fine.]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can't believe I wasted three years of my life with you,]] ''[[TheDogBitesBack you cold-hearted bitch.]]'' [[DeadpanSnarker Did that make it easier?]]
22nd Sep '16 12:37:27 PM Geoduck
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** The whole episode is pretty clearly a massive TakeThat aimed at ABC/Disney, which had previously forced the producers to make what was basically an infomercial for Disneyland.
22nd Jun '16 11:12:18 PM Gravidef
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* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they sit down, guzzle booze, and talk trash about their boss like at any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going to take David, and we are going to get in my junkie car, and drive across that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to get carjacked or run off the road by drunks. And take him back to our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN BEFORE WE GET ROBBED! Now that is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''

to:

* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where and the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy.want. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they have freedom--but do they really? Are they free, after work, to go sit down, guzzle booze, and talk have a beer and trash about their boss like at you can on any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going No! And yet this place claims to take David, represent what America stands for. Well, ''my'' America stands for more than five dollars to park, thirty dollars to get in, and we five dollar ''tasteless, bunny-shaped hamburgers!'' Now if you will excuse us, David and I are going to get in my junkie ''crappy'' car, and drive across along that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to we could get carjacked or run forced off the road by drunks. And take him back to drunks, pull up in front of our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN RUN IN BEFORE WE GET ARE ROBBED! Now that Because that, mister, is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M WE'RE FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''
21st Jun '16 1:13:18 PM Gravidef
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* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they sit down, guzzle booze, and talk trash about their boss like at any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going to take David, and we are going to get in my junkie car, and drive across that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to get carjacked or run off the road by drunks. And take him back to our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN BEFORE WE GET ROBBED! Now that is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''
** The episode's tag is similarly awesome. Roseanne, dressed in an American flag sweater, sets about [[{{Deprogram}} deprogramming David]].
--->'''David''': ''(tied to a chair and smiling eerily)'' No, Mrs. Conner! I want to go back to Edelweiss Gardens so I can help people have ''fun'' again!
--->'''Roseanne''': All right, let's go over this one more time. Your name is David Healy. You frown, you're introspective, and you mope.
--->'''David''': [[IgnoringBySinging I'm not listening, I'm not listening...]]
--->'''Roseanne''': LISTEN TO ME, DAVID. We do not ''whistle'' while we ''work!'' We GRUMBLE and COMPLAIN and encourage others to do likewise!
--->'''David''': Oh no, no, no, NO!
--->'''Roseanne''': Yes, yes, ''yes!'' Let me tell you something about your Edelweiss Gardens, David. It's ''mediocre'' food and ''mediocre'' fun at best. And you know why I know that, David? 'Cause I am an ''EXPERT'' on what is mediocre.
--->''(David begins to pant with anger)''
--->'''Roseanne''': That's good! You hate me now, don't you, David? You're feeling hate! You hate me right now, don't you?
--->'''David''': NO! ''(starts smiling again)'' You're a paying customer, and I respect and admire you!
--->'''Roseanne''': ''([[ArmorPiercingSlap slapping David across the face]])'' LIAR! BREAK, DAMN YOU! BREAK! Listen to me, David! Rabbits and geese and goats are ''not people!'' THEY DON'T SING AND DANCE! '''''THEY'RE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!'''''
--->'''David''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]
--->''(He breaks down sobbing)''
--->'''Roseanne''': There, there. Welcome home, son.
24th Jan '16 3:32:58 AM NitaBeeta
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-->'''Dan''': Mostly "Ow, ow, my head."

to:

-->'''Dan''': Mostly Well, If I can remember correctly: [[DeadpanSnarker "Ow, ow, my head.""]]
23rd Jan '16 8:15:07 PM danlansdowne
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'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": Great.
'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': Is your husband home?

to:

'''Mike -->'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": -->'''Roseanne''': Great.
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Is your husband home?
23rd Jan '16 7:43:28 PM danlansdowne
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-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to beat YOUR butt!"

to:

-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to beat kick YOUR butt!"
23rd Jan '16 7:37:51 PM danlansdowne
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* Roseanne's takedown of doorbell-ringing state representative Mike Summers:
'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": Great.
'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': Is your husband home?
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Awesome.Roseanne