History Awesome / Roseanne

22nd Sep '16 12:37:27 PM Geoduck
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** The whole episode is pretty clearly a massive TakeThat aimed at ABC/Disney, which had previously forced the producers to make what was basically an infomercial for Disneyland.
22nd Jun '16 11:12:18 PM Gravidef
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they sit down, guzzle booze, and talk trash about their boss like at any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going to take David, and we are going to get in my junkie car, and drive across that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to get carjacked or run off the road by drunks. And take him back to our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN BEFORE WE GET ROBBED! Now that is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''

to:

* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where and the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy.want. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they have freedom--but do they really? Are they free, after work, to go sit down, guzzle booze, and talk have a beer and trash about their boss like at you can on any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going No! And yet this place claims to take David, represent what America stands for. Well, ''my'' America stands for more than five dollars to park, thirty dollars to get in, and we five dollar ''tasteless, bunny-shaped hamburgers!'' Now if you will excuse us, David and I are going to get in my junkie ''crappy'' car, and drive across along that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to we could get carjacked or run forced off the road by drunks. And take him back to drunks, pull up in front of our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN RUN IN BEFORE WE GET ARE ROBBED! Now that Because that, mister, is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M WE'RE FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''
21st Jun '16 1:13:18 PM Gravidef
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* In "Springtime for David," David goes to work for a SouvenirLand called "Edelweiss Gardens," which turns out to be a disturbing cult-like location that [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes him]] into becoming a StepfordSmiler who is perpetually polite, energetic, and perky. When Roseanne finds out, she goes to save him, where the owner of the park claims that all of his employees are free to do whatever they want, and that they're all perfectly happy. She responds...
-->'''Roseanne''': You say these people are free--but are they? After they've worked, can they sit down, guzzle booze, and talk trash about their boss like at any other American job? No, they can't. Now, I am going to take David, and we are going to get in my junkie car, and drive across that ''polluted'' river where we're liable to get carjacked or run off the road by drunks. And take him back to our ''poor'' house in our ''white trash'' neighborhood, and DASH THROUGH THE DOOR AS QUICK AS WE CAN BEFORE WE GET ROBBED! Now that is ''MY'' AMERICA, '''''AND I THANK GOD I'M FREE TO ENJOY IT!'''''
** The episode's tag is similarly awesome. Roseanne, dressed in an American flag sweater, sets about [[{{Deprogram}} deprogramming David]].
--->'''David''': ''(tied to a chair and smiling eerily)'' No, Mrs. Conner! I want to go back to Edelweiss Gardens so I can help people have ''fun'' again!
--->'''Roseanne''': All right, let's go over this one more time. Your name is David Healy. You frown, you're introspective, and you mope.
--->'''David''': [[IgnoringBySinging I'm not listening, I'm not listening...]]
--->'''Roseanne''': LISTEN TO ME, DAVID. We do not ''whistle'' while we ''work!'' We GRUMBLE and COMPLAIN and encourage others to do likewise!
--->'''David''': Oh no, no, no, NO!
--->'''Roseanne''': Yes, yes, ''yes!'' Let me tell you something about your Edelweiss Gardens, David. It's ''mediocre'' food and ''mediocre'' fun at best. And you know why I know that, David? 'Cause I am an ''EXPERT'' on what is mediocre.
--->''(David begins to pant with anger)''
--->'''Roseanne''': That's good! You hate me now, don't you, David? You're feeling hate! You hate me right now, don't you?
--->'''David''': NO! ''(starts smiling again)'' You're a paying customer, and I respect and admire you!
--->'''Roseanne''': ''([[ArmorPiercingSlap slapping David across the face]])'' LIAR! BREAK, DAMN YOU! BREAK! Listen to me, David! Rabbits and geese and goats are ''not people!'' THEY DON'T SING AND DANCE! '''''THEY'RE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!'''''
--->'''David''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]
--->''(He breaks down sobbing)''
--->'''Roseanne''': There, there. Welcome home, son.
24th Jan '16 3:32:58 AM NitaBeeta
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Dan''': Mostly "Ow, ow, my head."

to:

-->'''Dan''': Mostly Well, If I can remember correctly: [[DeadpanSnarker "Ow, ow, my head.""]]
23rd Jan '16 8:15:07 PM danlansdowne
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": Great.
'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': Is your husband home?

to:

'''Mike -->'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": -->'''Roseanne''': Great.
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': -->'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': -->'''Mike''': Is your husband home?
23rd Jan '16 7:43:28 PM danlansdowne
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to beat YOUR butt!"

to:

-->'''Dan''': Woah, back up there or I'll give my wife a doughnut to beat kick YOUR butt!"
23rd Jan '16 7:37:51 PM danlansdowne
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* Roseanne's takedown of doorbell-ringing state representative Mike Summers:
'''Mike Summers''': Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doing?
'''Roseanne": Great.
'''Mike''': Good. I'm going door to door trying to get to know my constituents.
'''Roseanne''': Oh, door to door, huh? That takes a lot of time. Why don't you go down to the unemployment office and see everybody at once?
'''Mike''': I hear you. And you're right. We can't let this area's workforce lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number one priority.
'''Roseanne''': How?
'''Mike''': Through tax incentives. See, we're going to make it cheaper for out of state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
'''Roseanne''': So they get a tax break?
'''Mike''': Yeah, that's why they come here.
'''Roseanne''': Well who's gonna pay the taxes they ain't payin'?
'''Mike''': Well...you will. But you'll be working. Good, steady employment.
'''Roseanne''': Union wages?
'''Mike''': Well now, part of the reason the these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations-
'''Roseanne''': So they're gonna dump the unions so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for that privilege we get to pay their taxes.
'''Mike''': Is your husband home?
5th Jul '15 12:06:19 PM creader
Is there an issue? Send a Message



to:

* The spontaneous, amazing dance at the end of "Roseanne in the Hood".
4th Mar '15 12:41:58 PM eviltwin531
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* In "Chicken Hearts", Roseanne is employed at a fast food restaurant. Her boss Brian is an obnoxious teenager who forces her to work weekends, even though she made him promise not to do so when she first took the job, as she needs to be home for her kids. When she discovers that Brian is struggling with an auto shop assignment, she decides to invite him over for dinner and have Dan do the project for him in an attempt to get on his good side. He accepts, but [[JerkAss still fires her]] at the end of the evening, which immediately begins a series of Moments of Awesome. Dan nearly tears Brian's head off in anger; Becky and Darlene call the kid out for being a jerk (this is especially awesome as both can occasionally be [[BrattyTeenageDaughter nasty to their mother]]); Roseanne delivers a speech that points out that Brian, for all his cockiness, is nothing but a spoiled brat; Dan, Becky and Darlene destroy his project and hand him the pieces as he walks through the living room; and Roseanne caps his visit off by asking "Would you like fries with that?" and slamming the door in his face.

to:

* In "Chicken Hearts", Roseanne is employed at a fast food restaurant. Her boss Brian is an obnoxious teenager who forces her to work weekends, even though she made him promise not to do so when she first took the job, as she needs to be home for her kids. When she discovers that Brian is struggling with an auto shop assignment, she decides to invite him over for dinner and have Dan do the project for him in an attempt to get on his good side. He accepts, but [[JerkAss still fires her]] at the end of the evening, which immediately begins a series of Moments of Awesome. Dan nearly tears Brian's head off in anger; Becky and Darlene call the kid out for being a jerk (this is especially awesome as both can occasionally be [[BrattyTeenageDaughter nasty to their mother]]); Roseanne delivers a speech that points out that Brian, for all his cockiness, is nothing but a spoiled brat; Dan, Becky and Darlene destroy his project and hand him the pieces as he walks through the living room; room (earlier dialogue implies this will ruin his GPA bad enough, he'll no longer be able to hold on to the job that's given him this ego in the first place;) and Roseanne caps his visit off by asking "Would you like fries with that?" and slamming the door in his face.
25th Feb '15 3:19:16 PM toongrrl1990
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* In the episode "Don't Make Me Over", Becky and Darlene give Roseanne a beauty spa package for Mother's Day, trying to butter her up and let them go to an out of town concert for a weekend. Roseanne, thinking that they were actually trying to be nice to her for a change, is heartbroken when she learns the truth and is reduced to tears. Dan steps in and saves the day by giving the girls a very deserving tongue-lashing, carting them off to be with Bev for a very boring weekend, and taking Roseanne out for a romantic dinner and weekend. This was after Roseanne had complained earlier that Dan was not a good disciplinarian.

to:

* In the episode "Don't Make Me Over", Becky and Darlene give Roseanne a beauty spa package for Mother's Day, trying to butter her up and let them go to an out of town concert for a weekend. Roseanne, thinking that they were actually trying to be nice to her for a change, is heartbroken when she learns the truth and is reduced to tears. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4dOHw0of80 Dan steps in and saves the day by giving the girls a very deserving tongue-lashing, tongue-lashing]], carting them off to be with Bev for a very boring weekend, and taking Roseanne out for a romantic dinner and weekend. This was after Roseanne had complained earlier that Dan was not a good disciplinarian.
This list shows the last 10 events of 34. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Awesome.Roseanne