History Awesome / MitchBenn

21st Nov '13 8:33:20 AM captainmarkle
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-->"And when that happens... By God, I hope you're applauding for the right reasons here, folks. Because ''when'' that happens, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ''will'' ride, the Final Trumpet ''will'' sound, and Ian Curtis and Hendrix and Janis and Jim Morrison and Johnny Thunders will rise ''from'' the grave, and Elvis will descend ''from'' the moon, and together, Jamie Cullum, they will ''kick your skinny jazz arse all the way to the ninth layer of HELL,'' to be ''bound in ice'' next to Judas Iscariot and Pete Waterman! And ''I will be there, with Robert Johnson and the Devil beside me, PLAYING THE BLUES AND '''LAUGHING WHILE THEY DO IT'''.''"

to:

-->"And when that happens... By God, I hope you're applauding for the right reasons here, folks. Because ''when'' that happens, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ''will'' ride, the Final Trumpet ''will'' sound, and Ian Curtis and Hendrix and Janis and Jim Morrison and Johnny Thunders will rise ''from'' the grave, and Elvis will descend ''from'' the moon, and together, Jamie Cullum, they will ''kick your skinny jazz arse all the way to the ninth layer of HELL,'' to be ''bound in ice'' next to Judas Iscariot and Pete Waterman! And ''I will be there, with Robert Johnson and the Devil beside me, PLAYING THE BLUES AND '''LAUGHING WHILE THEY DO IT'''.''"''"
* After hearing one stupid story too many from the Daily Mail, Benn started spoofing their articles as if they published in fictional universes, prompting a flood of similar parodies from other users on Twitter.
--> ''[[Literature/TheHobbit Gay wizard and Muslim dwarves (plus a hobbit) kill white, decent, hardworking orks.]]''
--> ''[[Franchise/StarWars Islamic rebels destroy Stormtroopers, start to kill elderly Christians with destruction of Death Star]]''.
6th Feb '13 9:48:15 PM mlsmithca
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''We're changin'' our ways, takin' ''\\

to:

''We're changin'' changin' our ways, takin' ''\\
6th Feb '13 9:46:16 PM mlsmithca
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"Jamie, you do not understand that song, okay? It is not a swingin', hip kinda vibey toon for all the sharp-suited crazy cats to stand around poppin' their fingers to, okay? It is a mournful, wistful, but ultimately uplifting piece about experience, loss, the passage of time, and lots and lots of other things that you couldn't possibly understand ''because you're TWELVE''. Now do whatever you like to Radiohead, it only makes it more fun, BUT, BUT, you LEAVE Jimmy Hendrix alone until you are old enough to shave, ''and/or'' buy Electric Ladyland without being asked for I.D., and then, ''STILL leave Jimmy Hendrix alone!''"

"Steady on, Mitch!"

to:

"Jamie, -->"Jamie, you do not understand that song, okay? It is not a swingin', hip kinda vibey toon for all the sharp-suited crazy cats to stand around poppin' their fingers to, okay? It is a mournful, wistful, but ultimately uplifting piece about experience, loss, the passage of time, and lots and lots of other things that you couldn't possibly understand ''because you're TWELVE''. Now do whatever you like to Radiohead, it only makes it more fun, BUT, BUT, you LEAVE Jimmy Jimi Hendrix alone until you are old enough to shave, ''and/or'' buy Electric Ladyland ''Electric Ladyland'' without being asked for I.D., and then, ''STILL leave Jimmy Jimi Hendrix alone!''"

alone!''"\\
\\
"Steady on, Mitch!"
Mitch!"\\
\\



-> ''Hey! When routine bites hard and''
-> ''Ambitions are low and''
-> ''Resentment rides high but''
-> ''Those emotions won't grow! And''
-> ''We're changin'' our ways, takin' ''
-> ''Different roads''
-> ''Love! Yes, love will tear us apart again''
-> ''I tell ya, that crazy love's gonna tear us apart again''
"And when that happens... By God, I hope you're applauding for the right reasons here, folks. Because ''when'' that happens, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ''will'' ride, the Final Trumpet ''will'' sound, and Ian Curtis and Hendrix and Janis and Jim Morrison and Johnny Thunders will rise ''from'' the grave, and Elvis will descend ''from'' the moon, and together, Jamie Cullum, they will ''kick your skinny jazz arse all the way to the ninth layer of HELL,'' to be ''bound in ice'' next to Judas Iscariot and Pete Waterman! And ''I will be there, with Robert Johnson and the Devil beside me, PLAYING THE BLUES AND '''LAUGHING WHILE THEY DO IT'''.''"

to:

-> ---> ''Hey! When routine bites hard and''
->
and''\\
''Ambitions are low and''
->
and''\\
''Resentment rides high but''
->
but''\\
''Those emotions won't grow! And''
->
And''\\
''We're changin'' our ways, takin' ''
->
''\\
''Different roads''
->
roads''\\
''Love! Yes, love will tear us apart again''
->
again''\\
''I tell ya, that crazy love's gonna tear us apart again''
"And -->"And when that happens... By God, I hope you're applauding for the right reasons here, folks. Because ''when'' that happens, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ''will'' ride, the Final Trumpet ''will'' sound, and Ian Curtis and Hendrix and Janis and Jim Morrison and Johnny Thunders will rise ''from'' the grave, and Elvis will descend ''from'' the moon, and together, Jamie Cullum, they will ''kick your skinny jazz arse all the way to the ninth layer of HELL,'' to be ''bound in ice'' next to Judas Iscariot and Pete Waterman! And ''I will be there, with Robert Johnson and the Devil beside me, PLAYING THE BLUES AND '''LAUGHING WHILE THEY DO IT'''.''"
6th Feb '13 9:43:22 PM Eruvadhril
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"Jamie, you do not understand that song, okay? It is not a swingin', hip kinda vibey toon for all the sharp-suited crazy cats to stand around poppin' their fingers to, okay? It is a mournful, wistful, but ultimately uplifting piece about experience, loss, the passage of time, and lots and lots of other things that you couldn't possibly understand ''because you're TWELVE''. Now do whatever you like to Radiohead, it only makes it more fun, BUT, BUT, you LEAVE Jimmy Hendrix alone until you are old enough to shave, ''and/or'' buy Electric Lady Land without being asked for I.D., and then, ''STILL leave Jimmy Hendrix alone!''"

to:

"Jamie, you do not understand that song, okay? It is not a swingin', hip kinda vibey toon for all the sharp-suited crazy cats to stand around poppin' their fingers to, okay? It is a mournful, wistful, but ultimately uplifting piece about experience, loss, the passage of time, and lots and lots of other things that you couldn't possibly understand ''because you're TWELVE''. Now do whatever you like to Radiohead, it only makes it more fun, BUT, BUT, you LEAVE Jimmy Hendrix alone until you are old enough to shave, ''and/or'' buy Electric Lady Land Ladyland without being asked for I.D., and then, ''STILL leave Jimmy Hendrix alone!''"
6th Feb '13 9:42:27 PM Eruvadhril
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Added DiffLines:

* In the second series of ''Crimes Against Music'', Mitch rants magnificently on the subject of Jamie Cullum's cover of "The Wind Cries Mary":
"Jamie, you do not understand that song, okay? It is not a swingin', hip kinda vibey toon for all the sharp-suited crazy cats to stand around poppin' their fingers to, okay? It is a mournful, wistful, but ultimately uplifting piece about experience, loss, the passage of time, and lots and lots of other things that you couldn't possibly understand ''because you're TWELVE''. Now do whatever you like to Radiohead, it only makes it more fun, BUT, BUT, you LEAVE Jimmy Hendrix alone until you are old enough to shave, ''and/or'' buy Electric Lady Land without being asked for I.D., and then, ''STILL leave Jimmy Hendrix alone!''"

"Steady on, Mitch!"

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but Jamie Cullum must be stopped, alright? He must be stopped. Because at this rate, it's only a matter of time before I switch on Radio 2 and I hear this:
-> ''Hey! When routine bites hard and''
-> ''Ambitions are low and''
-> ''Resentment rides high but''
-> ''Those emotions won't grow! And''
-> ''We're changin'' our ways, takin' ''
-> ''Different roads''
-> ''Love! Yes, love will tear us apart again''
-> ''I tell ya, that crazy love's gonna tear us apart again''
"And when that happens... By God, I hope you're applauding for the right reasons here, folks. Because ''when'' that happens, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ''will'' ride, the Final Trumpet ''will'' sound, and Ian Curtis and Hendrix and Janis and Jim Morrison and Johnny Thunders will rise ''from'' the grave, and Elvis will descend ''from'' the moon, and together, Jamie Cullum, they will ''kick your skinny jazz arse all the way to the ninth layer of HELL,'' to be ''bound in ice'' next to Judas Iscariot and Pete Waterman! And ''I will be there, with Robert Johnson and the Devil beside me, PLAYING THE BLUES AND '''LAUGHING WHILE THEY DO IT'''.''"
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Awesome.MitchBenn