History Awesome / BostonLegal

* The episode where Alan has to defend the right for the daughters of a [[SmugSnake truly revolting]] white supremacist family (think the Osmond family meets the [[TheFundamentalist Westboro Baptist Church]] by way of [[StepfordSmiler Stepford]]) to sing racist songs. He wins, but when the two daughters try to thank him by serenading him with "Michael Row The Boat Ashore", (an ''[[IsntItIronic African American spiritual]]'', of all songs!), he cuts them off with "''You do know that Michael was a homosexual Jew from Mexico, right?''" and sends them out of the room with barely a glance. CrowningMomentOfAwesome, CrowningMomentOfFunny, and possibly the only awesome moment involving making little girls cry.

* The gang are positive that Shirley has been kidnapped, by a former client, though they have no solid proof to give to the police. Alan Shore, who for reasons unknown is not aware of any of this, walks in and, upon being told what's going on, announces that he is going to call the cops within the minute saying that the client in question called him confessing to the kidapping, thus giving them probable cause. All in the most high-flown voice imaginable and without batting an eye. Totally fucking awesome.

* Every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://vimeo.com/27530047 Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' better than it sounds.

* When Jerry was going to be interviewed to become a managing partner, things looked really bad for him. He's really strange - picture Biscuit from ''[[AllyMcBeal Ally McBeal]]'' and you won't be very far away from the truth. Katie tried to put a good word for him, but she inadvertedly screwed things more. The voting partners were mostly old snobbish assholes, but when they were ready to shoo Jerry off, Denny Cranne comes into the room.

* Every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://vimeo.com/32554194 Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' better than it sounds.
** His suit against a group that claims it can 'cure' homosexuality is even better, he actually starts it by attempting to get on a soapbox then 'diagnoses' the jury with various innocuous diseases. All this is just a run up to a huge rant about 'selling sickness'.

* Just when someone might think that Alan dropped the darker parts of his AmoralAttorney act in season 2, he takes a case where can't proceed with action against a legal guardian exploiting an elderly woman without him draining her entire estate out of spite. Instead of being nice, he hires goons to steal documents proving that the guardian has been doing this for years, terrorize him and leave him tied up in the apartment, after which Alan comes in, takes a signature releasing his client from the guardian's custody and politely explains that he doesn't know when such an assault will happen again. He just knows it will.

* When Jerry was going to be interviewed to become a managing partner, things looked really bad for him. He's really strange - picture Biscuit from ''[[AllyMcBeal Ally McBeal]]'' and you won't be very far away from the truth. Katie tried to put a good word for him, but she inadvertedly screwed things more. The voting partners were mostly old snobbish assholes, but when they were ready to shoo Jerry off, Denny Cranne came in the room and said "My name is Denny Crane. See the door? It says Crane, Poole and Schmidt. I'm one of the founding partners of this law firm. Poole isn't here. Schmidt isn't here. There's only Crane left. This guy (pointing to Jerry) is already a partner, or I'm outta here. Goodbye. My name is Denny Crane." Suffice to say, Jerry was a partner by the end of the episode.

* Just when someone might think that Alan dropped the darker parts of his AmoralAttorney act in season 2, when he can't proceed with a case against a legal guardian exploiting an elderly woman without him draining her entire estate out of spite. Instead of being nice, he hires goons to steal documents proving that the guardian has been doing this for years, terrorize him and leave him tied up in the apartment, after which Alan comes in, takes a signature releasing his client from the guardian's custody and politely explains that he doesn't know when such an assault will happen again. He just knows it will.

** He's also great at manipulating both juries and judges - many times, he perfectly diagnoses what has to be said to sway someone, like when he suggests to Schmidt that she should punctuate her closing statement with various synonyms of "pansy", since the presiding Judge Brown has issues with his masculinity.

** Finally - in that particular case, Alan's client was his secretary. She later admits that his slamming rebuttal to Palmer made her ''aroused''.

--> "You know, we have a little saying in Massachusetts: 'Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die.' Until then!"

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1srWkJjLLU&feature=related This.]]

** This troper would argue his suit against a group that claims it can 'cure' homosexuality is even better, he actually starts it by attempting to get on a soapbox then 'diagnoses' the jury with various innocuous diseases. All this is just a run up to a huge rant about 'selling sickness'.

---->'''Alan Shore''': That's okay. I think I've got it. You find people in dire straits and market directly to them with the hope of forming a lifelong relationship. I had a former client who kind of operated his business the same way.
---->'''Attorney Melvin Palmer''': Really? What line of work was he in?
---->'''Alan Shore''': He sold heroin.

--->'''Denny Crane''': Look, I can't bring myself to defend a man who killed a 13-year-old girl.
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': Oh, come on, man. Probably did her a favor. I got AIDS, Denny Crane. She could have had a lot of suffering ahead because I really went to town. You know what I mean? She's probably lucky I ended it quick.
--->'''Denny Crane''': Well, if you really have AIDS, there could be other psychological defenses available to us.
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': Yeah.
--->'''Denny Crane''': Like, ah, traumatic distress, insanity, perhaps. On the other hand... ''[pulls out a gun from his briefcase]''
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': What are yo—?
--->''[Denny shoots Jessel [[{{Kneecapping}} in the kneecaps]]; the prison guards hear the sound and come rushing in]''
--->'''Denny Crane''': It was an accident. He came at me. I feared for my life. He should probably get new counsel. ''[looks at the guy clutching his bloody knees, and smiles]'' Denny Crane.
*** And just before that:

*** Not a closing statement per se, but Alan's speech against the Chinese [[spoiler: investors that took over the law firm and fired all the main characters]] was so awesome that every other member of the BunnyEarsLawyer club was very proud of him [[spoiler: and it got their jobs back]].

* The episode where Alan has to defend the right for the daughters of a [[SmugSnake truly revolting]] white supremacist family (think the Osmond family meets the [[TheFundamentalist Westboro Baptist Church]] by way of [[StepfordSmiler Stepford]]) to sing racist songs. He wins, but when the two daughters try to thank him by serenading him with "Michael Row The Boat Ashore", (an ''[[IsntItIronic African American spiritual]]'', of all songs!), he cuts them off with "''You do know that Michael was a homosexual Jew from Mexico, right?''" and sends them out of the room with barely a glance. CrowningMomentOfAwesome, CrowningMomentOfFunny, and the only time I've ever been in favour of attempting to make little girls cry.

--->'''Judge''': Mr Shore, we do not wear wigs in Canada. (beat). Nor do we wear waders.

* Pretty much every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://vimeo.com/32554194 Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' better than it sounds.

* Not to mention the first time Alan crossed verbal swords with the sleazy, overtanned, Texas credit-card lawyer.

* What about Denny? This troper's favorite Denny scene was when he was forced to represent a [[CompleteMonster man who had raped and murdered a young girl]].
--->'''Denny Crane''': Look, I can't bring myself to defend a man who killed a thirteen-year-old girl.

* Pretty much every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3DwrPNA6g Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' better than it sounds.

* Pretty much every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3DwrPNA6g Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' BetterThanItSounds.

--->'''Denny Crane''': Like, ah, traumatic distress, insanity, perhaps. On the other hand... ''[Pulls out a gun from his briefcase]''

--->''[Denny shoots Jessel [[{{Kneecapping}} in the kneecaps]]; The prison guards hear the sound and come rushing in]''

--->'''Denny Crane''': Look. I can't bring myself to defend a man who killed a thirteen year old girl.
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': Oh! Come on, man. Probably did her a favor.
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': I got AIDS, Denny Crane. She could have had a lot of suffering ahead because I really went to town. You know what I mean? She's probably lucky I ended it quick.
--->'''Denny Crane''': Well! If you really have AIDS, there could be other psychological defenses available to us.

--->'''Denny Crane''': Like, ah traumatic distress, insanity perhaps. On the other hand.
--->''* Pulls out a gun from his brief case* ''
--->'''Ronald Jessel''': What are yo--
--->''[Denny shoots Jessel in the knee-caps. The prison guards hear the sound and come rushing in.]''
--->'''Denny Crane''': It was an accident. He came at me. I feared for my life. He should probably get new counsel.
--->''* Denny looks at the guy clutching his bloody knees. He smiles* ''
--->'''Denny Crane''': Denny Crane.

--->*''handing Jessel his business card and giving him the most [[BuffySpeak Shatnery]] look of disgust possible''*
--->'''Denny''':Hope you die. Denny Crane.

* Pretty much every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPBiGtVmir4 Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. Suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' BetterThanItSounds.

* Pretty much every closing statement Alan Shore makes is MadeOfWin, but his devastating TakeThat against [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZk265xF9Iw Scientology]] is a whole new level of Awesome. If the clip is removed, suffice it to say it consists of him simply stating the beliefs of Scientologists, and standing back to let it metaphorically hang itself. And then he farts. Far, ''far'' BetterThanItSounds.
** Yep, the clip's gone. But this troper has seen it before, and would like to second that Awesome.
*** [[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=K_CEh3VcM3g Here]] it is again, although this troper would disagree, the moment came a bit earlier:
---->'''[=Alan=]:''' Well, in fact most Scientologists believe Brother Hubbard will return\\
'''Scientologist:''' And Christians believe Jesus will come again. Are they all nuts?\\
'''Alan:''' Most.
*** And ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPBiGtVmir4 here]]'' it is. Watch it before the YouTube Whack-a-Mole brigade strike again!
**** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPBiGtVmir4 Just in case.]]
*** This troper would argue his suit against a group that claims it can 'cure' homosexuality is even better, he actually starts it by attempting to get on a soapbox then 'diagnoses' the jury with various innocuous diseases. All this is just a run up to a huge rant about 'selling sickness'.
*** Not to mention the first time Alan crossed verbal swords with the sleazy, overtanned, Texas credit-card lawyer.

** What about Denny? This troper's favorite Denny scene was when he was forced to represent a [[CompleteMonster man who had raped and murdered a young girl]].

* Alan's ''epic'' TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to the ''Supreme Court''.

* Katie prays with the church. It's better then it sounds.

* [[TheUnfunny Brad and Denise]] impersonating FBI agents to rescue the little kid abducted by the pedophile. The spoilered bit in CrossesTheLineTwice is only a ''fraction'' of it. Also kind of heartwarming, [[FridgeBrilliance if you think about it]] -- two bigshot lawyers risk jail time, to say nothing of their careers, to [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight screw the rules and do what's right]]. And they do it without a ''second'' of hesitation.

* Jerry Espenson manages to stage a single crowning moment of both awesome ''and'' [[DarthWiki/DethroningMomentOfSuck fail]] by holding a knife to his employer's throat and then legally maneuvering ''a law firm'' into a position where they had to take him back instead of pressing charges.

* [[TheUnfunny Brad and Denise]] impersonating FBI agents to rescue the little kid abducted by the pedophile. The spoilered bit in CrossesTheLineTwice is only a ''fraction'' of it. Also kind of heartwarming, [[FridgeBrilliance if you think about it]] -- two bigshot lawyers risk jail time, to say nothing of their careers, to [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight screw the rules and do what's right]]. And they do it without a ''second'' of hesitation.