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Sometimes, as part of the "blame the victim" argument, some will argue that being bullied will motivate the victim to bigger and better success in life, or use the "if you think it's bad now, wait until you get into the real world" line (never mind that the argument is [[AppealToWorseProblems built on a fallacy]]). It is true, however, that bullying is just as common in the adult world, and that schoolyard bullies are nothing compared those who may be encountered later in life. In this mindset, the bullying "steels" the victim toward [[MeanBoss abusive bosses, executives, managers, etc.]] who are only interested in results and will not hesitate to punish those beneath them if the desired results are not delivered, regardless of feasibility or responsibility, and teaches them that this [[BlindObedience should be accepted as normal and right]].
Some misguided adults see bullying as nothing more than a "harmless rite of passage", and exacerbate the problem by telling the victims and those who attempt to help them "not to [[TheStoolPigeon be a snitch]] and tell on their 'friend' because "no one likes a tattler". This ignores a few important things, such as: (1) The Bully is NOT a friend with any good intentions towards the victim. (2) What BlackAndWhiteInsanity -- equating [[AllCrimesAreEqual sneaking candy in class to tormenting another human being]] -- calls "tattling" is also known as "[[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight doing the right thing in the face of social pressure or physical threat]]". The only lesson being taught here is that you should [[BystanderSyndrome ignore the suffering of others]], and you [[NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished will be punished for trying to stop wrongdoing]].
Standing up to bullies, besides the obvious truths pointed out in the above quote, is also a good way to get suspended and/or expelled as a "troublemaker", while your assailants walk away scott-free.
Another common pathetic platitude often thrown around by adults is that [[TroubledAbuser all bullies are 'damaged' in some way]], and that you should feel sympathetic to them for it, even dismissing their [[CryForTheDevil clearly abusive and horrendous behaviour]] as being a product of their own suffering. All this goes on to serve to minimise and ignore the victim's suffering. While it is true that a cycle of abuse does exist in schools, it is not an excuse, and in fact, most bullies are not damaged in any way, and scientific studies have found that most abusers are actually more likely to excel over their classmates. Going back to the cycle of abuse, the whole reason why it exists is because victims who are actually damaged by their abusers are more likely to turn to violence just to feel like they have some control. Bullies, meanwhile, are more likely to develop antisocial personality disorder ([=ASPD=])[[note]]Also known as [[TheSociopath Sociopathy]][[/note]] in later life according to some scientific studies, setting them up for a future of inflicting more trauma and suffering on anyone unlucky enough to be caught in their spheres of influence.
One final misconception, again rooted in bigotry and victim blaming, is that bullying is a sort of "social immune system" that strikes the victims when they exhibit "unpleasant" traits which should be corrected. "Unpleasant" is a very subjective term, defined mostly as what someone personally dislikes. Traits such as not being good at sports, enjoying Sci-Fi or Fantasy (or enjoying reading ''at all''), being gay (or ''perceived'' as gay), being a curious overachiever[[note]]Getting good grades drags expectations for the rest of the class upward, especially if grading on "the curve"[[/note]], a science "nerd", a Special Ed kid[[note]]A lot of children who are in Special Education are autistic, have attention-deficit hyperactive disorder ([=ADHD=]), a learning disability or are neurodivergent in some other way. This is a trait that a person can't change, and bullying them for it is just like bullying a person for being gay, or being black, or having some other trait that can't be changed[[/note]], a foreigner, a non-Christian, or not caring about fashion (or being unable to afford the proper clothes, or even [[RealMenWearPink wearing the wrong colors]]) are [[HeteronormativeCrusader clearly flaws that society has a duty to correct for the good of the victim]]. Bullies are really just the Normalcy Police, lashing out at those who dare to differ from what they consider 'normal'. The National Education Association actually endorsed this until recently.
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Perhaps this shows up because of a false idealism, or a simple misunderstanding on the part of the people who express this in media and work it into shows or other works. With bullying in the news much lately, this is disappearing in part in favor of a more accurate portrayal of bullying and how to handle it and rightly so. Unless it disappears entirely, though, it's important to remember the truth. Bullying hurts, and there ''are'' real things that can be done about it. Those that are buillied or teased can seek safety in numbers, learn to clearly express themselves, and if needed, seek the help of an adult they trust, one they know won't just dismiss their problems, even if it's only to have a comforting ear and help them through.
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Perhaps this shows up because of a false idealism, or a simple misunderstanding on the part of the people who express this in media and work it into shows or other works. With bullying in the news much lately, this is disappearing in part in favor of a more accurate portrayal of bullying and how to handle it and rightly so. Unless it disappears entirely, though, it's important to remember the truth. Bullying hurts, and there ''are'' real things that can be done about it. Those that are buillied or teased can seek safety in numbers, learn to clearly express themselves, and if needed, seek the help of an adult they trust, one they know won't just dismiss their problems, even if it's only to have a comforting ear and help them through.through.
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School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fully express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily. It is also a view of adults looking back on childhood with [[NostalgiaFilter rose-colored glasses]], wishing for their youth back and therefore forgetting or justifying to themselves that certain aspects "weren't so bad" when they actually ''were.'' The same thinking fuels TheBestYearsOfYourLife which is a nostalgic fantasy of aging adults who dream of a time before bills, gray hair, and raising children of their own.
to:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fully express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily. It is also a view of adults looking back on childhood with [[NostalgiaFilter rose-colored glasses]], wishing for their youth back and therefore forgetting or justifying to themselves that certain aspects "weren't so bad" when they actually ''were.'' The same thinking fuels TheBestYearsOfYourLife BestYearsOfYourLife which is a nostalgic fantasy of aging adults who dream of a time before bills, gray hair, and raising children of their own.
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Changed line(s) 1,2 (click to see context) from:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fully express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily.
to:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fully express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily.
easily. It is also a view of adults looking back on childhood with [[NostalgiaFilter rose-colored glasses]], wishing for their youth back and therefore forgetting or justifying to themselves that certain aspects "weren't so bad" when they actually ''were.'' The same thinking fuels TheBestYearsOfYourLife which is a nostalgic fantasy of aging adults who dream of a time before bills, gray hair, and raising children of their own.
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None
Changed line(s) 1,2 (click to see context) from:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fullly express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily.
to:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fullly fully express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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Added DiffLines:
School bullying is ''not'' harmless. It's real, it's mean, and can be very harmful to those whom it happens to. So why does this idea persist? Perhaps, like any trope, it's because there is truth within certain aspects of it. For example, it is true that bullying doesn't just happen for no reason. Bullies are insecure, and may have been bullied in the past. Their reasons for bullying are very real in their mind, even if they can't fullly express them. But no matter what the reason, bullying is wrong, and is not a problem that can be solved easily.
Perhaps this shows up because of a false idealism, or a simple misunderstanding on the part of the people who express this in media and work it into shows or other works. With bullying in the news much lately, this is disappearing in part in favor of a more accurate portrayal of bullying and how to handle it and rightly so. Unless it disappears entirely, though, it's important to remember the truth. Bullying hurts, and there ''are'' real things that can be done about it. Those that are buillied or teased can seek safety in numbers, learn to clearly express themselves, and if needed, seek the help of an adult they trust, one they know won't just dismiss their problems, even if it's only to have a comforting ear and help them through.
Perhaps this shows up because of a false idealism, or a simple misunderstanding on the part of the people who express this in media and work it into shows or other works. With bullying in the news much lately, this is disappearing in part in favor of a more accurate portrayal of bullying and how to handle it and rightly so. Unless it disappears entirely, though, it's important to remember the truth. Bullying hurts, and there ''are'' real things that can be done about it. Those that are buillied or teased can seek safety in numbers, learn to clearly express themselves, and if needed, seek the help of an adult they trust, one they know won't just dismiss their problems, even if it's only to have a comforting ear and help them through.
