Main plot is pretty unclear, there is a lot of dumb logic everywhere and the shadowy apparition is the biggest Deus Angst Machina ever, since it can literally appear to harm Kieren anywhere at any time, and harm him mentally and physically and no one can block it. It can even somehow kill the Chornlicoer and mind control anyone at any time.
It's an overpowered plot device that can cause angst for plot convince.
Also other dumb stuff like: why is Keiren so good at his elements despite using them for the first time ever and only being under a year old physically? Why is Haze, a three year old, acting so mature and why is he so good at fighting he can easily down adult dragon guards wherein armor and such? Why is Sylvia such an idiot who leaves toddlers unattended for no reason and leaves a toddler to fight adult dragons? Why did the parents (Norruth and Meesla) leave her to get the children to safety, despite Terrador's threats of locking them up if they intervened? Surely getting their children to safety is more important than sitting there and doing nothing? The other guardians were there to vouch for them and were trying to deal with Terrador anyway.
What the hell is going on with Keiren being brought to the dragon realms anyway? It was vaguely mentioned there were portals opening on earth in a news broadcast at the start of the story but that was not elaborated on. Who is this apparent main villain behind the shadowy apparition? What is his name? How is he so powerful that he can mind control people from anywhere and even override the chronicler and kill Ingiguts' celestial body while blocking him from talking?
What is going on in the 9th chapter? Did the shadow dragon arrange for Keiren to be taken from Spyro and Cynder and brought back to the temple since they mentioned being ordered by the guardians?
Why is there little to no explanation for any of the above questions?
Even the author vaguely notes confusion and the chapters not really making sense. Maybe he meant all of this?
Beyond all of the plot holes and unanswered questions, the fic is generally bad at explaining anything (like the above) plus its so freaking bleak and dark for the sake of being dark. Every time something good happens, it is quickly ruined shortly after. Also, all this ends on a cliffhanger right after the main villain reveals himself and how he wants Kieren for to be an heir to him in the future (he called himself the one true emperor of the land, so maybe he wants to rule everything and take over Warfang?), due said villains internet in Kieren's apparently strong potential powers. The fact the story only makes any kind of sense by the very end of it does not bode well for its writing quality.
Fanfic Its kind of dumb and way too much angst
Main plot is pretty unclear, there is a lot of dumb logic everywhere and the shadowy apparition is the biggest Deus Angst Machina ever, since it can literally appear to harm Kieren anywhere at any time, and harm him mentally and physically and no one can block it. It can even somehow kill the Chornlicoer and mind control anyone at any time. It's an overpowered plot device that can cause angst for plot convince. Also other dumb stuff like: why is Keiren so good at his elements despite using them for the first time ever and only being under a year old physically? Why is Haze, a three year old, acting so mature and why is he so good at fighting he can easily down adult dragon guards wherein armor and such? Why is Sylvia such an idiot who leaves toddlers unattended for no reason and leaves a toddler to fight adult dragons? Why did the parents (Norruth and Meesla) leave her to get the children to safety, despite Terrador's threats of locking them up if they intervened? Surely getting their children to safety is more important than sitting there and doing nothing? The other guardians were there to vouch for them and were trying to deal with Terrador anyway. What the hell is going on with Keiren being brought to the dragon realms anyway? It was vaguely mentioned there were portals opening on earth in a news broadcast at the start of the story but that was not elaborated on. Who is this apparent main villain behind the shadowy apparition? What is his name? How is he so powerful that he can mind control people from anywhere and even override the chronicler and kill Ingiguts' celestial body while blocking him from talking? What is going on in the 9th chapter? Did the shadow dragon arrange for Keiren to be taken from Spyro and Cynder and brought back to the temple since they mentioned being ordered by the guardians? Why is there little to no explanation for any of the above questions? Even the author vaguely notes confusion and the chapters not really making sense. Maybe he meant all of this? Beyond all of the plot holes and unanswered questions, the fic is generally bad at explaining anything (like the above) plus its so freaking bleak and dark for the sake of being dark. Every time something good happens, it is quickly ruined shortly after. Also, all this ends on a cliffhanger right after the main villain reveals himself and how he wants Kieren for to be an heir to him in the future (he called himself the one true emperor of the land, so maybe he wants to rule everything and take over Warfang?), due said villains internet in Kieren's apparently strong potential powers. The fact the story only makes any kind of sense by the very end of it does not bode well for its writing quality.