This story shows some of the signs you would expect from a new writer; things like small formatting/spelling issues, and later some possible plotting/pacing concerns. I'm not actually positive it's an early/first attempt, but it does bear almost all of the hallmarks.
The story is a relatively straightforward premise, and (I feel) actually captures an element of Haruhi that many don't stop to consider. One of the interesting (and easily overlooked) factors of this story is the motive for Haruhi doing what she does (unintentionally). This is someone who wants to 'win', at life and 'do everything', right?
Well ... where does that lead?
That's what this story asks. It answers that question in a surprising way.
Now, admittedly, only about the first two thirds, maybe three quarters of the story is about this (possibly, a little longer). It starts out with a straightforward premise, and feels like it adheres to it very strongly. Right around the climax (to try and avoid spoilers ... your opinion of where that is could be moved up or down a full chapter, depending), the story does
take an unexpected shift.
That's to say ... the author takes the story in an interesting direction, but one that feels very abrupt. Almost like reading a different story, actually. This is probably a sign of the author not being entirely certain how he actually wanted to end it until that point. I feel this could have been better delivered/foreshadowed, and admit that story suffers a little for the handling of that element, but the damage is not so great that the story cannot be enjoyed.
And right up until then, the author does a surprisingly good job of keeping the cast very much in character! That twist doesn't ... really bash on or flanderize any characters, but it is surprising, and I could see readers being unsettled/disappointed by that. This is also where the expected romantic conclusion is suddenly averted.
After that the story does somewhat trail off into a slower, somewhat shambling conclusion, with a denoument that was probably a bit too long and detailed (an unusual complaint from me).
But despite all of that, it does have an easygoing, relaxing style, so I ended up really enjoying it anyway. Your mileage may vary, naturally.