FanFic From interesting to annoying.
I don't know how to describe this fic. The first half or so is good. It's interesting and Bella excells at getting around problems that shouldn't have to be problems in the first place. She also doesn't immidiately fall for Edward and explores her feelings to see if she actually wants to be with him forever while she's still human knowing she will definitely return his feelings when she becomes a vampire.
But then towards the end she starts expressing opinions, ambitions and intentions that are in conflict with my own way of thinking, such as rebelling against the volturi and starting a new vampire government that will force all vampires to be vegitarians, or activating the Quilette wolf genes without any real conscent first and expressing that she can't understand why not everyone would want to be immortal. In her own words:
- "I had such delusions of grandeur," I murmured. "I was going to build up the population of wolves over years and years, collect allies, work on my shield, take over the world. Convert everybody to vegetarianism, turn humans as fast as we could handle them, cure death."
In short, she started to really annoy me.
FanFic This fanfic fixes literally every problem with the Twilight saga.
Yes, seriously. Every single one. I can't go into full detail here, but this story fixes everything from Edward's stalkerish behavior to the sexism inherent to the original portrayal of werewolves even to the inconsistency of how vampires' eye colors work. It's all either explained or corrected. When Alice can and can't see the future, why each vampire in the Volturi is even there, how nobody managed to see Edward save Bella in the parking lot right at the beginning, what Bella's power even is, it's all fixed. And the narrative problems are mostly a non-issue, because the narrative derails early. It still has Bella/Edward romance, but it makes sense now, with nary a plot hole or contrivance to be found.
My personal favorite part, though, is the second installment, Radiance. By this point, Bella and Edward are already married and have a child (who they didn't decide to name Renesmee, because that's frankly a ridiculous name) and the romance is nicely tied up, and Bella gets on with taking over the world. If you got this far and still agree with Bella, get ready for a wild ride with lots of characters that you'll still manage to remember the names of, and the complicated plans that ensue. Taking over the world won't be easy for Bella, you can be sure of that.
If you hated the Twilight saga, but are curious how that setup could possibly produce a good story, give this a read. If you loved the Twilight saga, give this a read too, because it's a fresh take on the story and you'll learn so much more about the books you loved.
10/10 would vampire again.
FanFic How NOT to write a rational fanfic (or any story)
Luminosity is one of the most famous rational fanfics out there, right next to the genre progenitor, HPMOR. The consensus among the "ratfic" fans seems to be that it's one of the best out there, awesome, clever, and an absolute must read.
Well, after giving it a chance, I have to agree, at least partially. Luminosity is a must read, if you want to see what not to do if you ever feel like writing a rational fanfic yourself. It reads like a checklist of all the standard flaws and pitfalls many works of the genre tend to fall into, taken up to eleven.
The biggest problem is the protagonist. Some rational fanfic authors have an unfortunate tendency to write the main character to resemble a hyper-intelligent self-aware AI way more than they resemble people, and Luminosity's Bella is a top example of the trend. She's supposed to be human, later a vampire, but she reads more like an android. A nigh emotionless android, programmed for maximom logic and efficiency. Thus, she's completely impossible to relate to. Even worse, telling the story entirely from her robotic point of view ensures that the narration is super bland all throughout.
This would still be salvageable if the rest of the cast was any better. Lex Luthor from The Metropolitan Man suffers from the same robo-lead syndrome, but he is contrasted by the (ironically and intentionally) much more human Superman and Lois Lane. They provide the story with a much needed heart, and they're active characters in their own right.
Luminosity doesn't have anyone like them. It's a theatre of one actor, almost all the way. There are no worthy foils for Bella around, and no heart to the story. The author utterly fails to imbue almost any of the supporting cast with any spark of life and personality. They feel like a bunch of lazily written NPC, scattered across them map for the player to learn the lore from.
The saddest part is, a skelleton of a potentially great story is actually there, buried under layers of dullness. The plot is well thought out, and could have been turned into something thrilling in the hands of a better author. Bella - a machiavellian schemer with a humungous ego, lust for power, and naive dreams of utopia - could and should have been a fascinating protagonist.
Alas, could and should have beens are not what we ended up with, and the actual fanfic is a very, very dull story, with a lot of wasted potential.