Luminosity is one of the most famous rational fanfics out there, right next to the genre progenitor, HPMOR. The consensus among the "ratfic" fans seems to be that it's one of the best out there, awesome, clever, and an absolute must read.
Well, after giving it a chance, I have to agree, at least partially. Luminosity is a must read, if you want to see what not to do if you ever feel like writing a rational fanfic yourself. It reads like a checklist of all the standard flaws and pitfalls many works of the genre tend to fall into, taken up to eleven.
The biggest problem is the protagonist. Some rational fanfic authors have an unfortunate tendency to write the main character to resemble a hyper-intelligent self-aware AI way more than they resemble people, and Luminosity's Bella is a top example of the trend. She's supposed to be human, later a vampire, but she reads more like an android. A nigh emotionless android, programmed for maximom logic and efficiency. Thus, she's completely impossible to relate to. Even worse, telling the story entirely from her robotic point of view ensures that the narration is super bland all throughout.
This would still be salvageable if the rest of the cast was any better. Lex Luthor from The Metropolitan Man suffers from the same robo-lead syndrome, but he is contrasted by the (ironically and intentionally) much more human Superman and Lois Lane. They provide the story with a much needed heart, and they're active characters in their own right.
Luminosity doesn't have anyone like them. It's a theatre of one actor, almost all the way. There are no worthy foils for Bella around, and no heart to the story. The author utterly fails to imbue almost any of the supporting cast with any spark of life and personality. They feel like a bunch of lazily written NPC, scattered across them map for the player to learn the lore from.
The saddest part is, a skelleton of a potentially great story is actually there, buried under layers of dullness. The plot is well thought out, and could have been turned into something thrilling in the hands of a better author. Bella - a machiavellian schemer with a humungous ego, lust for power, and naive dreams of utopia - could and should have been a fascinating protagonist.
Alas, could and should have beens are not what we ended up with, and the actual fanfic is a very, very dull story, with a lot of wasted potential.
How NOT to write a rational fanfic (or any story)
Luminosity is one of the most famous rational fanfics out there, right next to the genre progenitor, HPMOR. The consensus among the "ratfic" fans seems to be that it's one of the best out there, awesome, clever, and an absolute must read.
Well, after giving it a chance, I have to agree, at least partially. Luminosity is a must read, if you want to see what not to do if you ever feel like writing a rational fanfic yourself. It reads like a checklist of all the standard flaws and pitfalls many works of the genre tend to fall into, taken up to eleven.
The biggest problem is the protagonist. Some rational fanfic authors have an unfortunate tendency to write the main character to resemble a hyper-intelligent self-aware AI way more than they resemble people, and Luminosity's Bella is a top example of the trend. She's supposed to be human, later a vampire, but she reads more like an android. A nigh emotionless android, programmed for maximom logic and efficiency. Thus, she's completely impossible to relate to. Even worse, telling the story entirely from her robotic point of view ensures that the narration is super bland all throughout.
This would still be salvageable if the rest of the cast was any better. Lex Luthor from The Metropolitan Man suffers from the same robo-lead syndrome, but he is contrasted by the (ironically and intentionally) much more human Superman and Lois Lane. They provide the story with a much needed heart, and they're active characters in their own right.
Luminosity doesn't have anyone like them. It's a theatre of one actor, almost all the way. There are no worthy foils for Bella around, and no heart to the story. The author utterly fails to imbue almost any of the supporting cast with any spark of life and personality. They feel like a bunch of lazily written NPC, scattered across them map for the player to learn the lore from.
The saddest part is, a skelleton of a potentially great story is actually there, buried under layers of dullness. The plot is well thought out, and could have been turned into something thrilling in the hands of a better author. Bella - a machiavellian schemer with a humungous ego, lust for power, and naive dreams of utopia - could and should have been a fascinating protagonist.
Alas, could and should have beens are not what we ended up with, and the actual fanfic is a very, very dull story, with a lot of wasted potential.