Let me start by saying that I love the ideas that this fic has.
I love the concept of Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii (FFJ's replacement) and those for jobs that the FFJ crew pick for themselves. I love the idea of Ralph and Co. dealing with the trauma of losing their home. I love the idea of a bad guy that doesn't subscribe to Bad-Anon's mantra and actually tries to improve himself willingly! For selfless reasons nonetheless! Not only that, but the execution is excellent. The dialogue is praiseworthy, and nobody feels OOC (most of the time.) The O Cs have great personalities (especially one which I'll touch upon in a bit.) The writing style is both fun and easy to read and the story flows very nicely, if a bit slowly. Most importantly, Lauahi is one of the best O Cs I've seen in a long time, and is anything but a stereotypical Hawaiian/Big Eater. She's inexperienced, but speculative. She's kind but is driven by her programming to eat near constantly. She's an out-of-the-box but through thinker. Those traits are more than enough for me to mark her as carefully balanced and realistic.
However, the wording of the story can be a bit odd. Before chapter 13/14, it's a bit telly and overstuffed with dialogue, although from 13/14 onward it gets alot better. At times, both Vanellope and Calhoun are written too maturely and not maturely enough respectively. The story is also pretty slow paced and gives off the impression of wandering.
Overall, if you're curious about what would happen should FFJ get the boot or hate the "Be yourself" moral, you should definitely love this fic. For those who don't, the dialogue and the sheer amount of thought put into it would be enough for you to at least like it.
Very interesting, thoughtful, and well-written, but not without problems.
Let me start by saying that I love the ideas that this fic has.
I love the concept of Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii (FFJ's replacement) and those for jobs that the FFJ crew pick for themselves. I love the idea of Ralph and Co. dealing with the trauma of losing their home. I love the idea of a bad guy that doesn't subscribe to Bad-Anon's mantra and actually tries to improve himself willingly! For selfless reasons nonetheless! Not only that, but the execution is excellent. The dialogue is praiseworthy, and nobody feels OOC (most of the time.) The O Cs have great personalities (especially one which I'll touch upon in a bit.) The writing style is both fun and easy to read and the story flows very nicely, if a bit slowly. Most importantly, Lauahi is one of the best O Cs I've seen in a long time, and is anything but a stereotypical Hawaiian/Big Eater. She's inexperienced, but speculative. She's kind but is driven by her programming to eat near constantly. She's an out-of-the-box but through thinker. Those traits are more than enough for me to mark her as carefully balanced and realistic.
However, the wording of the story can be a bit odd. Before chapter 13/14, it's a bit telly and overstuffed with dialogue, although from 13/14 onward it gets alot better. At times, both Vanellope and Calhoun are written too maturely and not maturely enough respectively. The story is also pretty slow paced and gives off the impression of wandering.
Overall, if you're curious about what would happen should FFJ get the boot or hate the "Be yourself" moral, you should definitely love this fic. For those who don't, the dialogue and the sheer amount of thought put into it would be enough for you to at least like it.