Let me start off by saying this: when I read this fanfiction, I loved it. It was one of my first forrays into fanfiction that wasn't garbage, and this one gave me a tangible story that hooked and drew me in. I saw my favorite characters develop and grow, and was thrust into a gripping and terrifying plot. I even stayed awake into early morning to continue reading. Everything I read seemed beautifully designed, beautifully executed. Perfect That was years ago. Now a fanfiction veteran, I can turn my jaded eyes to this fiction, and the first thing I notice were the flaws. I originally sympathized with Latias, with a poor girl who lost her home, her family, and now the boy she loves is hunted because of her. And I felt happy that she moved on and found comfort in the arms of the wonderful guy who understands her. Now, I remember that, spoiler alert, that guy is Raquaza, a.k.a. the Ghost King, a.k.a. THE GUY WHO DESTROYED LATIAS' HOME IN THE FIRST PLACE! Raquaza was severly messed up in the head to onl feel sorry for murdering hundreds of thousands because it made Latias upset, an Latias was severly messed up in the head for forgiving him on account of 3. If I can't sympathize with the heroes, how can I hope to enjoy the story? A tip to all writers: pick a few genres and stick with them. This story rides the gamut to horror to adventure to comedy to even using multiple genres in the same sentence. Some may like this, but it breaks all feeling of suspense in the horror sense and all hilarity in the comedy sense. I don't need to know how Suicine was raped into a zombie-murderer, or how Evil-Ash cuts off Brock's genitals and shoves them in his mouth, especially not when two scenes ago it was a heartfelt conversation about true love. Moodwhiplash loses its meaning. Finally, the length. The Length! Years ago, this meant that I had more words to pore over, but this means now there's more junk to sift through for relevant bits. Brevity is the soul of wit, which this fic fails to comprehend. The action scenes were nice and pretty, but I continually found I would skip them to get to dialogue. My breaking point came when I accidentaly skipped two chapters and found I missed very little. Padding doesn't help. Of course, this is all in the past. But to me, this is a great example that glamour and length doesn't equal quality.
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