Reymma
Since: Feb, 2015
04/06/2023 00:00:00
For the benefit of any readers here: this review is actually for Neon Exodus Evangelion, something went wrong when it was to be moved to the right URL and they don\'t want to move it again because of problems in the site\'s code.
Stories don't tell us monsters exist; we knew that already. They show us that monsters can be trademarked and milked for years.Leave a Comment:
It's Not "Evangelion Done Right".
Ah, one of the most controversial pieces of fanfiction in the Evangelion community. Is it "Eva done right", like so many say?
The writing, on paper, is not terrible. However, the excessive technobabble, pointless pages on meaningless topics (such as video games, unpacking, and various other lengthy and unnecessary scenes), and the completely unlikable main character seal the fate of this fan fiction.
DJ Croft is somehow liked by everyone and can break any rules he wants. The only people who don't like him are the villains. His "development" doesn't change him in any major way.
What can I say about the rest of the cast? They're either DJ worshipers, will soon become a DJ worshiper, or are villains. A fair chunk of the cast isn't even there, though. It takes most of the fic until Shinji arrives, Fuyutsuki is completely replaced, and 2/3ds of the bridge staff is replaced by a author avatar.
The way canon is handled is atrocious. (Spoilers ahead, by the way.) The Angels from the original series have a clear motivation. They're born from Adam and want to return to him in order to cause Third Impact and destroy all humans.
In this piece of fanfiction, the Angels are literal Angels who are seeking to redeem Lucifer, who is Eva-01.
I can excuse some mangling of canon. Until the "Classified Information" was released detailing much of the universe's background, nobody knew what was up. But mangling canon this badly cannot be excused.
I would talk about the crossover elements, but the author has admitted that they were mainly there to differentiate the fanfiction from the original and that many elements were thrown in on a whim. The author also admitted that they were clunkily inserted, which I do agree with.
I would say that the author needed an editor, however, from the start, it was a collaboration between two people. In the second arc, they added two more to the writing staff. How did they get away with the pointless, lengthy scenes discussing arcade games, or long info dumps on various topics throughout the work? Inexcusable.
I'll give them this - It has good grammar and spelling. You could tell that it had been proofread, which is something many fanfiction authors fail at doing.
My overall opinion - negative. It may not be a complete piece of trash, but it certainly fails at doing Evangelion "right" as promised.