The story is interesting and the take on Gohan is new and rather refreshing, but one can't help but cringe at the writing style. Spelling and grammatical errors abound, and mid-paragraphs author's notes (more along the line of comments) make the story difficult to read and, thus, get into early on, which is a serious problem. If the writing style were cleaned up, this could well be an excellent story.
Unexpected Majin
The story is interesting and the take on Gohan is new and rather refreshing, but one can't help but cringe at the writing style. Spelling and grammatical errors abound, and mid-paragraphs author's notes (more along the line of comments) make the story difficult to read and, thus, get into early on, which is a serious problem. If the writing style were cleaned up, this could well be an excellent story.