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Bastard1 Cobwebbed and Strange Since: Nov, 2010
Cobwebbed and Strange
04/04/2015 14:25:59 •••

A Franchise Zombie scarier than any Treehouse of Horror.

Holy fucking skunk shit in a duffle bag, nothing makes a guy feel older than the semi-yearly realization that it's been at least some 16 years and counting since The Simpsons stopped being the mind-blowingly funny, insightful, and just plain likeable show that ensured its placement in the pantheon of over a half-century of televised entertainment. Back then, I was too young to really notice, but the show changed someway, somehow along the way.

Hundreds of people and situations have been fingered as the "culprit" of The Simpsons' breath-taking downfall. I'm no different than the rest, I ain't the guy with the answers. But I am a guy who believes that any long-running fictional construct comes with an unknowable metaphysical "expiration date". It's up to the creators (or people perpetuating the construct in lieu of original creator input) to determine when this has happened. The sensible thing to do when this time comes would be to just let it go before it inevitably becomes a cruel mockery of what once it was. The real reason's probably just some boring old money, though. Though not the pop-cultural genre-unto-itself that it once was (to make probably the biggest understatement on the entire internet today!), it still has a sizeable audience and pop-cultural presence.

Yeah yeah, I know I come off as an overly nostalgic dude what fails to bring up the many flaws the show had even back then, but if you are watching and/or enjoying the show's new episodes, chances are you never really liked the show for what it was intended to be in the first place. I'm not gonna act condescending towards ya for doing that—enjoy what you will, more power to you and that—but this is pretty much a fact.

Today's Simpsons is more often than not just an awkward, embarrassing thing to watch. Zany pop-cultural references and hot-button issues abound (about five months after they were relevant, of course). It's a show that's all but forgotten its core identity. It's become a sad parody of Grandpa Simpson's statement from way back about being "with it." These sociopathic Family Guy-light assholes on the screen right now are like looking at victims of body snatchers. There isn't even the tiniest gleam of the people they once were to be found in their eyes.

Fucking scary.


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