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BonsaiForest a collection of small trees (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
a collection of small trees
01/14/2016 12:42:28 •••

What happens when you try to mimic E. T. and get everything wrong and then some

This movie is trying hard to be the classic E. T.: Extra Terrestrial, but E. T. it most certainly is not. The first misstep is to screw up part of what made E. T. so appealing: its endearing alien.

What we get here is nothing like E. T.. Instead, these are the dumbest looking and acting aliens ever. They have wide-eyed faces and puffed-up cheeks that are stuck making the @.@ expression while simultaneously looking like they’re about to puke every second, have skin that resembles puke itself, shamble about like zombies, communicate with whistles including wolf whistles, and all appear severely mentally disabled. They seem unable to grasp the simple concept that grabbing a can from the bottom of a stack will cause the entire stack to collapse. Their hands seem to have difficulty picking up a simple object. Are these creatures capable of interstellar travel? The movie indicates that they were brought here by accident, so apparently not. These life forms must not have had much to worry about on their home planet, otherwise natural selection would have taken care of them a long time ago.

The movie also fails at storytelling. The characters are stupid, the comedy is bad, and there are parts that don’t make sense. How does a vacuum cleaner suck up an alien? (Never mind that the characters think it’s a ghost; it still shouldn’t suck up an alien like it were silly putty) How does the alien know to communicate by pointing to a symbol in a magazine that matches one on a sign near a wind farm? How do a bunch of incompetent feds blow up a supermarket by trying to shoot aliens instead? That’s not even video game logic.

Even the product placement fails. In E. T., Elliot introduces E. T. to his favorite food, Reese’s Pieces, in a way that feels natural and organic. Here, we instead randomly find out that Coca Cola revives dying aliens, and then we see… a dance party held at a McDonald's. How did that happen? Why? Ronald himself is even there. It’s so unnatural and forced. It makes me wonder, was McDonald's trying to make their own E. T. and boost the sales of their products in much the same way that Reese Piece’s sales increased after the release of E. T.? That would explain a lot.

Cindylover1969 Since: Mar, 2011
02/12/2014 00:00:00

You may be right about Mc Donald's being behind this; I remember how Micky D was trying to launch in Barbados and this movie was released there at around the same time (it opened there before it hit the US, interestingly). As proof that karma can bite you hard sometimes, you cannot find Mc Donald's in Barbados today.

rimpala Since: Jan, 2001
03/03/2014 00:00:00

"Even the product placement fails."

Tell me about it. I mean... apparently Coca Cola is a drug for sickly mutant creatures. Gee, that sure makes me want to have a soda right about now...

Oh look I mispeled somethink.
TheRealYuma Since: Feb, 2014
01/14/2016 00:00:00

Actually, Mc Donald's only involvement in this picture was entering a bid. No seriously, there was an actual bid to see who would get product placement and Mc Donald's was one of the winners. The guys that came up with this film thought that it would be a hit based off of product placement alone.

BonsaiForest (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
01/14/2016 00:00:00

Really? If that's the case, then that's even more stupid!

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