Let's play Super Mario Kart!

Jeez, man. You're basically a MK Walker in racing game form.

Thanks for the compliment. It's really just a lot of practice, though. I don't have the knowledge or experience of the pros, but I do love Super Mario Kart and Pro Edition and I try my best.

I've noticed that with the Princess and Yoshi, while they go from zero to "rolling" quickly, it takes a very long time for them to get up from around 900 to their max speed just above 1100. Perhaps that's why I have trouble with them. I usually expect them to pop right back into full after I swerve into the mud when it really takes them a good lap and a half.

So they have a great initial acceleration, but at high speeds it's not so great?

Right. Yoshi and the Princess are "speed" types, and the exact opposite of "power" types like Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr., who have slow acceleration, but faster top speeds.

Right, sort of. It's not just a matter of top speed vs. acceleration though. Yoshi and Princess do go from 0 to 800 really fast. But above that they accelerate slower than anyone. Here's a very informal test of how fast the characters go from 900 to 1100, with 10 coins, in 150cc:

Koopa, Toad: 4 seconds
Bowser, DK Jr.: 5 seconds
Mario, Luigi: 7 seconds
Princess, Yoshi: 12 seconds

And here are their top speeds just to demonstrate that Super Mario Kart doesn't peddle in any pure speed / acceleration tradeoff:

Koopa, Toad: 1103
Princess, Yoshi: 1119
Mario, Luigi: 1151
Bowser, DK Jr.: 1183

This suggests that Princess and Yoshi are just bad characters, having the widest turns, a low top speed, and poor acceleration if you're interested in racing fast. Maybe that's why I had so much trouble with ex. Princess in the Pro Edition Special Cup, which was about as hard for me as tiny Mario in the same cup a few days later.

Whoa, I just had the weirdest glitch. I was playing through the (Pro Edition) Star Cup with Luigi and bumping into Yoshi along the jumps at the end of Bowser Castle 3 when he stuck to my head! I think it happened after the third lava platform, and we drifted together to the left-hand side of the curve, Yoshi sitting atop my kart, before we disentangled and could control normally. While I've seen similar glitches with a grounded character, I have never seen it with any mid-air characters. It looked funny.

And you didn't take a screenshot?

Too fast. One second and it was over. And I was too shocked.

Very well done, good sir! A toast to your excellent Kart skills.

Put me in the camp of those that don't overly mind the monotone. It makes the video seem informative.

It certainly helps that you have an awesome voice.

"Hello. This is William Longfellow playing smooth jazz on WLNG."

No, not smooth jazz! He would be DJing for an actual jazz station.