We try to kill SCP-682

@Kinro Being snarky isn't being rude. In Capatalist Socialist's case, I don't see anything that could be taken as rude, so I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, I'm going to edit this post for results and a new test.

Result: Thanos simply laughed, and told us to "deal with our own problems, I don't even live in your dimension".

Test: Infect it with vampirism (while having sunlight reflected into it's chamber) before shooting it with Auriel's bow, using Sunhallowed Elven Arrows. Said arrows deal extreme damage to vampiric beings.

edited 20th Aug '15 3:38:17 AM by PastryPerson

682 simply regenerates. Physical trauma does nothing to it.

...It's magic, not physical. Also, you have to propose a test.

Since the both of you didn't propose a test, I will.

Test: 50 cyanide pills have been grounded into dust and placed in SCP-914 on setting Very Fine first. Output was one single pill. Feed it to 682.

edited 12th Dec '15 9:16:14 PM by Savaget1337

Result: 682 went into cardiac arrest due to a lack of Oxygen, as well as slow disintegration. It proceeded to adapt without a need for oxygen, and the disintegration was eventually resisted by a tissue designed to resist acidic effects.

Test: Send him into SCP 2222.

Result, a slightly battered SCP-682 came out, attached was a note saying Tahw eht kcuf si siht gniht. Nod't dnes yna erom.

Test: Action him off on space bay as a mercenary for aliens to use in war.

edited 30th Aug '15 11:01:08 AM by 11cookeaw1

Result: While failing in killing him, we were successful in drawing a large amount of extra income to the foundation, as whomever controlled 682 was invincible. The potential of this operation to gain funding to cover the expenses in containing 682 has been realized, and further development has been planned.

Test: Tell Handsome Jack 682 is a bandit, and wait for the full resources and forces of Hyperion to go against him.

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Declared failure.

Test: Sic all the Jaegers in existence on him. Even the ones from Cherno Alpha vs. the World and other threads that take place in the same universe. Including the Nega-UN. But first, make sure he cannot grow and eat our Jaegers alive like last time...

Let's just sic Deadpool on him!

That's not how this works. Come up with a result first.

Test: Sic Deadpool on SCP-682. Result: 682 is now wearing Deadpool's intestines as a scarf.

A result to the test before yours, pal.

Apologies. I am new here, and as such cannot always interpret that.

(As for the result for the previous test that made sense,)

Result: Initially 682 appeared to be overwhelmed. However, before long he developed some kind of ultra EMP which disabled all mechanical equipment within several miles. This resulted in a containment breach killing [REDACTED] personnel, as well as causing [REDACTED] dollars in collateral damage.

Test: Use Evangelion units 00, 01, and 02 on him. Hopefully their AT fields should be enough to withstand 682.

edited 19th Oct '15 4:34:17 PM by CapitalistSocialist

Result: The AT fields appeared to be working initially. However, within a few minutes, SCP-682 was able to breach the fields, and shortly afterwards, the Evangelion units were found torn into pieces.

Test: Use a rocket to launch him into the sun.

Result: "The rocket successfully reached the sun. Ten hours after impact, a massive series of solar flares rocketed throughout the area spelling out "This thing is not worthy to fuel the light - God (P.S. It'd be too dangerous even for my standards if the sun consumed it - Satan)". Five hours later, a large portion of the sun visibly darkened. Not enough to cause catastrophe. In reality, it was a small island upon. Scratch that, not a small island. It was 682 itself, which had grown to super-massive proportions to combat the heat and intense gravity of the sun. Current growth rates indicate that offspring are potentially on the way and that it will be larger than the earth by the end of the week. One month later, all the SC Ps simultaneously disappeared from containment. 682 could be seen heading for earth. Apparently, its immense growth had given it the ability to absorb all SC Ps. As it neared Earth, witnesses said that the sky itself was disappearing. The moon turned to dust, and as it became apparent, 682 became capable of devouring the entire universe." said Prof. Smith, "And that is what I predict will happen is we send the SCP into the sun. An SCP we have found to be God Himselfsaid this SCP was nonexistant and indicated that it was possibly a flaw. Do we want to risk unraveling the very fabric of reality by feeding it more energy?"

the SCP never reached the sun. the scientists bickering got the missile turned around mid-flight. the SCP is now stranded on the moon.'

TEST: Hire Satan to toss the SCP into Hell. Obviously, his payment would be the SCP.

edited 19th Oct '15 5:51:26 PM by TheGreatDuck

what

edited 19th Oct '15 6:23:54 PM by PastryPerson

-Researcher reassigend to cleaning staff for a week-

Test: Feed it Cyanide.

edited 19th Oct '15 6:36:05 PM by Blackie

Result: Test cancelled. "We already tried that; It didn't work." -Dr. [REDACTED]

Test: Expose it to Azathoth.

Result: [[REDACTED]]. Test Failed.

Test: Feed SCP-682 a D-Class Personnel with a sound chip embedded into them. After consuming the personnel, introduce SCP-504, and then play a text-to-speech audiobook for "101 WACKY Computer Jokes" non-stop from the chip.

edited 29th Oct '15 7:18:32 AM by Aker-Sama

Result: While the tomatoes did fly at him due to the bad humor, after some initial damage against 682, it adapted to be impervious to the tomatoes.

Test: Feed it chocolate. Maybe it has the same issue dogs do.

Result: Test Rejected. Scientifically speaking, the average dog needs to consume half of their body weight in chocolate for it to be lethal. Otherwise, symptoms will be limited to things as mundane as diarrhea.

Test: Based on the previous test, attempt to feed SCP-682 the entirety of SCP-871 after neglecting the latter for 5 days.

I got an idea guys!

let's just leave it.

Result: With no one to tend to it,682 escapes. Thank you so much for killing us all. Test: Create a miniature nuke?

[[Google what "the latter" means. I wasn't suggesting we neglect 682, I meant 871.]]