We try to kill SCP-682

Result:Apparent sucess: SCP-682 was quickly incinerated, allowing the various Godzillas to fight each-other and humanity full time. Current estimates put the death toll in the millions, and rising fast.

UPDATE: 682 seems to have regenerated from the ashes of it's previous form (or whatever it does everyone time we try something like this) and has grown to massive size and appears to have developed radioactive breath.

Test: lock it in a containment cell surrounded by several copies of SCP-173.

Result: SCP-682, upon introduction to the containment cell, grew many hundreds, possibly thousands, of unblinking eyes all over its body (Researchers have noted, after review of security footage, that at least one eye was seen on its [DATA EXPUNGED]). 682, with the removed threat of blinking, incinerated the 173 copies with ease and started breaching containment. Test cancelled after two (2) minutes. Suggestions for repetition of the test in a darker room is pending O5 approval.

Whoever came up with this should be reprimanded. Be more specific next time, guys? - Dr Heim-Dall

Test: Vaporise/Disintegrate/Incinerate 682 (We've done it before, haven't we?), then disperse the ashes and remains across the universe, each ash particle sent to a different part of the universe.

edited 22nd Apr '14 3:25:51 AM by TheHoboTortle

Result: Test failed. It came back in 2 weeks.

Test: Evacuate the Earth in 1000 spaceships, each carrying 1/1000th of the population, all heading in different directions. Hopefully it won't be able to catch all of us.

Result: Rejected. "Where are we going to get that many ships, Dr.X?" ~Dr.Hax.

Test: Use a Wonder guard Sableye. "Perfectly trained with perfect E Vs/Stats? Where does Dr.X get them from?" ~Dr.Hax

Result: Sableye attacked repeatedly with Scp-682 healing faster then Sableye could damage it, this continued until Sableye ran out of PP and was forced to used struggle until the recoil damage knocked it out.

Test: CONSULT THE HELIX FOSSIL!

edited 23rd Apr '14 4:17:22 AM by 11cookeaw1

Result: 682 ate the Helix fossil.

"Great now we owe the musuem a Helix fossil." ~Dr.X

Test: *Points finger* HAAAAAAAX!

Result: SCP-682 "hacks" the opponent into submission.

Test: Throw SCP-682 into a mesh of atomic-width blades

Result: The blades pass through SCP-682, but the atomically-thin lacerations simply reattach themselves back together, the cuts too small to disrupt bodily functions.

Test: Convince it to channel its misanthropy into a more constructive medium such as stand-up comedy.

Result: It refused to inact stand-up comedy and [[Data Expunged]] it's way out of containment and brutally slaughtered [[DATA EXPUNGED PER O5-LEVEL DIRECTIVE. RESEARCH INTO THIS FIELD FORBIDDEN UPON PAIN OF IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OR DEMOTION TO CLASS D. CONTACT YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR MORE DETAILS]] people as it almost reached headquarters before recapture([[DATA EXPUNGED PER O5-LEVEL DIRECTIVE. RESEARCH INTO THIS FIELD FORBIDDEN UPON PAIN OF IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OR DEMOTION TO CLASS D. CONTACT YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR MORE DETAILS]] personnel died in the process). Shockingly enough it had somehow aquired Saronite skin despite SCP-682 not having ever been to Northrend after it's previous checkup during which there was no Saronite in it's system.

"So that's where all that Saronite went." - O5-█

Test: Send the Titans to contain it properly.

edited 24th Apr '14 12:11:32 AM by MickeyFrogeater

Result: Failure. 682 has figured out how to weaponize the "20% pure insanity" part of its Saronite skin and drive the Titans mad. Research on how it exactly managed to do so is still ongoing.

Well, damn. First we have 682, now we have batshit crazy gods on the loose? Possible SCP classification? - Researcher Thrall

Test: Throw at least 50 of Malekith's Black Hole Grenades at 682.

Result: Test cancelled. Black holes don't work, I believe we've established that many times already.

Test: Find its parents and make them put it in time out

Result: Test cancelled due to infeasibility.

Tell me, where the hell are you gonna find its parents? Does it even have parents?! - Dr X

Test: [DATA EXPUNGED] it, then [REDACTED] while [DATA EXPUNGED], after which [DATA EXPUNGED] and [DATA EXPUNGED], by then, theoretically, it should be annihilated completely and permanently.

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED] after it [DATA EXPUNGED] and a D-Class personnel [REDACTED] after complaining of not having enough information and [REDACTED] resulting in [DATA EXPUNGED] after which thirty high level scientists died before [REDACTED] resutled in SCP-682 being recontained.

I think the lesson we can learn from all this is that we need to make the general idea of these tests low enough classification level for us to tell the D-Class personnel what we are using before we try to start it. The next time some [REDACTED] idiot bleeps out all of the [DATA EXPUNGED] instructions I will [REDACTED] - Dr. [REDACTED]

Test: Use only verified natural predator of SCP-682, [REDACTED]

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in the severe weakening of SCP-682.

Test: Poke SCP-682 with a pin.

RESULTS: Pin absorbed into 682, which then thanked the D-Class for getting that itch before consuming said D-Class.

Really now, did anyone expect that to work? -Dr. O'Malley

TEST: Give him the Sedagive!

Result: The D-Class that tried that got eaten for grabbing SCP-682's tail.

Test: Feed him to Apollyon Class SCP-2317 to serve as the real Procedure 220-Calabasas.

[[DATA EXPUNGED PER O5-LEVEL DIRECTIVE. RESEARCH INTO THIS FIELD FORBIDDEN UPON PAIN OF IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OR DEMOTION TO CLASS D. CONTACT YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR MORE DETAILS:"We both know that Procedure 110-Montauk is useless against fixing SCP-2317's remaining chain AKA SCP-231-7(due to only working on lifeforms not chains) so why not have the unkillable Lizard either kill him or delay his breaking of the chain longer?"]] - O5-2

edited 24th Apr '14 8:22:08 PM by MickeyFrogeater

Result: Testing denied, the infiltrator masquerading as 05-2 is to be located and terminated at all reasonable costs.

Test: Shoot it with a bb gun. At the same time, assign a loyal operative to unleash SCP-231-7 should this test fail to terminated SCP-682.

edited 24th Apr '14 8:41:11 PM by Know-age

Result: Failed and cancelled.

"You should realize that THERE IS A REASON MONTAUK EXISTS, STOP TRYING TO USE IT TO KILL THE DAMN LIZARD"

Test: Have thirty Basilisks breath their curse breath on it, while exposing it to Seath the Scaleless' cursing crystals.

Result: Failed. SCP-682 was unaffected by breath or crystals Know-age has been terminated for previous test during which he [[DATA EXPUNGED PER O5-LEVEL DIRECTIVE. RESEARCH INTO THIS FIELD FORBIDDEN UPON PAIN OF IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OR DEMOTION TO CLASS D. CONTACT YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR MORE DETAILS:attempted to break the last remaining chain holding SCP-2317 in place. Impersonator of O5-2 has been determined to be SCP-682 itself having eaten O5-2 obtaining his memories before being recaptured infront of headquarters in the event it was found to have Saronite. Evidence indicates it was attempting to cause the apocolypse when it mentally accessed the O5 clearance files under O5-2's name]].

Test: Throw Saurfang or SCP-1(Clef's proposal) at it!

edited 24th Apr '14 8:57:51 PM by MickeyFrogeater

Result: Failed. SCP-001 told the Agents who arrived to do the throwing to "Go [REDACTED] [them]selves."

Test: Throw SCP-682 at Clef's SCP-001.

edited 24th Apr '14 11:04:59 PM by Know-age

Result: Test failed. SCP-001's attempts to incinerate SCP-682 seemed to be effective at first, but it kept adapting and regenerating. SCP-001 then fired an unknown, new type of attack, which seemed to completely disintegrate SCP-682, but it was soon revealed that it had merely been teleported back into its containment chamber.

Test: Use all of these on it

Result: [[REDACTED]] "We now owe people new gods" Dr.Hax

Test: Use the Hypnotoad. Said Hypnotoad doesn't require food to survive. Or even air.

Result: failure. The hypnotoad may not need food or air, but it does need to not be torn apart to live.

Test: Find a dimension even more powerless to stop 682 than ours, and send it there.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 was launched to the pre cured Generator Rex dimension, and used the Omega Nanites to rip open a spacetime rift and reentered our universe. 33% of the foundation was killed until we found a way to disable the nanites.

Test: Force it into The Sims 3, and pour gasoline over it. Set it on fire. SCP-682 should, after a few minutes, be dragged into the ground by something.

Result: Failed. The Grim Reaper passed through SCP-682 and put out the fire on it. SCP-682 then jumped out through the same portal the fire was introduced in.

Test: Remove from SCP-682 one periodic table element at a time using SCP-294. For the elements not typable with its keyboard, attach by USB a 3D stylus and buttons to timetravel that stylus backwards and forwards, and to add multiples of the square root of -1 to any necessary coordinate of its location.

The purpose of all these extra capabilities is to accommodate the fact that in the last test of this nature, some elements were found to have spelling incompatible with the QWERTY keyboard, and █ new elements were created including [DATA EXPUNGED]. -Dr. █████████