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IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#80151: Mar 30th 2015 at 9:45:03 PM

Archivist can't identify with Negi, while he's clearly Akamatsu's self insert past a certain point (you know, when he stops being fallible).

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#80152: Mar 30th 2015 at 9:52:56 PM

I thought we'd already established I was secretly Akamatsu?

sorako Since: Oct, 2012
#80153: Mar 30th 2015 at 9:56:37 PM

I don't tend to agree with Archivist in many things either, but hey, at least he's not Seimei.

About UQ and Akamatsu's loss of talents, I also found UQ when it was barely starting. I followed it for a while because I heard Negima was really good and I wasn't aware of how badly Akatmatsu screwed the last chapters. And then, yeah, all my good will was crushed by such a crappy attempt of shonen manga. And after seeing Negima's awesomeness firsthand, I can say Akamatsu has no excuse for making such a mess.

edited 30th Mar '15 9:57:53 PM by sorako

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#80154: Mar 30th 2015 at 9:58:55 PM

Akamatsu should've just sold off the series to Kodansha when they tried to take it over. Would've had the same result.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
UberNimrod "EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out." from Likely nowhere near you Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
"EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out."
#80155: Mar 30th 2015 at 10:25:25 PM

If he had sold it, he'd be rich enough to maybe retire and take the extended vacation he seemed to want.

We'd be disgusted at him for doing so, but at least we wouldn't have had to look at UQ Holder then either. Perhaps a net improvement then.

...

[up][up][up] If you really were Akamatsu, then get your lazy butt to work, and not on UQ Holder either!

edited 30th Mar '15 10:27:35 PM by UberNimrod

Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
UberNimrod "EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out." from Likely nowhere near you Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
"EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out."
#80156: Mar 31st 2015 at 12:02:27 AM

Oh look. It is the last day of the month. Time for me to post something here so everyone can make snarky remarks before it gets posted on F Fnet.

I need a better ending. Comments helpful.

A Cat-astrophe in the Making
.
.
“Well, it's finally happened,” said Asuna.

“You knew this was going to happen eventually. I knew from the moment Setchan got one,” said Konoka.

“Ojou-sama!”

“Well? It is true. Negi has Pactios with the entire class now,” Konoka replied to her protector.

“What's going on up ahead?” asked Asuna

“It appears that Evangeline is having troubles with our newest members,” said Setsuna.

Asuna, Konoka, and Setsuna walked from the area where they entered Evangeline's resort to where everyone was still standing. They were the last to arrive, after helping everyone else enter. It had taken several minutes of time outside to get everyone into the resort, mostly because of all of the new people marveling at the resort itself as well as Evangeline's house. Not to mention the questions that they had about the house, the resort, and Magic.

Asuna had resolved the issue by saying, “Just stand right there, and when you get inside, go ask Eva. This is her resort and her idea after all.” Several people had sulked, but they went into the Resort just the same.

Now that everyone was inside, it looked like Evangeline had been bombarded with questions, judging from the crowd of classmates surrounding her. Nodoka, Yue, and several others that had experience with this appeared to be trying to help, but they were off to the side while everyone else was gathered around Evangeline. Evangeline had taken on her adult form, evidently so that she could tower over them, or at least been seen as something other than a little girl. Judging from the expression on Evangeline's face, it was obvious that she was becoming frustrated. As the three approached, they could hear Evangeline yelling at everyone.

“SHUT UP! All of you! How can you have this many questions? Even Baka Asuna didn't have this many!”

“Thanks, I think,” Asuna said as they made their way to everyone.

“I know I told you to not explain anything Asuna, but I figured you'd disregard that and at least explain a few things,” Evangeline snapped. “If I had known that you would just send everyone my way, I would not have said anything.”

“You said, and I am quoting you, 'Just let everyone be surprised like you were,' unquote.” Asuna smiled up at Evangeline, “I thought it was a good idea, and I didn't want to ruin the surprise.”

Evangeline crossed her arms, “It seems to have backfired, as I have been asked more questions in the past half hour than most of the rest of you ever asked while training here.”

“That's only because we were kept in the dark about everything that Negi-sensei was doing until the last,” Ayaka replied. “After Takahata-sensei helped us get into the Magical World and helped us find Negi-sensei, we didn't get any explanation about anything, only that there was Magic, and Negi-sensei was in trouble. Now we are here because of your offer to help train us, and you're upset that no one told us anything. Why do you think we are asking questions now?”

“Everyone was really vague about their answers after we left that place. My father still has not told me everything,” Yuna said.

Before Evangeline could respond, a sound like a cat meowing was heard.

Setsuna and Konoka froze.

“What was that?” Evangeline asked.

“That was Biscuit,” Sakurako said. She lifted up a piece of luggage that looked like a soft-sided suitcase, but was actually a pet tote. Sakurako tilted her face to the tote and said, “Calm down, both of you will be out in a moment to play.”

“Both of you? You brought your pets?” Evangeline's shock turned to anger. “Why did you bring your pets?”

“Asuna said to pack for three days. I wasn't about to leave my cats alone for three days,” Sakurako said, trying to hold the tote close to her defensively. Unfortunately, the other luggage she carried got in her way.

Sakurako tried to adjust her body to counter the shift in weight, but stumbled as the strap of the overnight bag she carried slipped off her shoulder and knocked the pet tote from her hand. Before anyone could say anything the tote opened and two cats popped out.

Both landed perfectly on their feet and stared at Setsuna and Konoka. Setsuna took a step back.

Both cats bounded away from Sakurako, each heading in the same direction, but far enough apart from the other to make catching both at the same time impossible for a normal person.

That direction was towards Setsuna.

Everyone watched as panic spread across Setsuna's face, then gasped in surprise as Setsuna's wings appeared. Even those that trained with Setsuna in preparation for the trip to the Magical World had expressions ranging from confusion to shock as Setsuna looked ready to leap into the air to get away from the pair of cats charging her.

Fortunately, she didn't need to.

With a speed that surprised Kaede and Ku Fei, Konoka darted forward in a blur. Scooping up one cat, then the other, she held them close to her before walking to Sakurako. Neither cat struggled or tried to escape. Setsuna visibly relaxed as Konoka said to Sakurako, “Asuna really should have told you to not worry about bringing Cookie and Biscuit along. But she was determined to make sure all of you were surprised.”

“Thank you Konoka!” Sakurako said as she recovered the tote and held it so Konoka could put the cats inside again.

Asuna was the first to recover. “What was that about Konoka?”

“Well that was the agreement when we were kids. Setchan protected me from scary dogs, and I protected her from stray cats.” Konoka glanced at Setsuna, “I'd always wondered why Setchan was so scared of cats. I suppose this makes sense, in an odd sort of way.”

“How did this never come up before now?” Asuna asked.

“Have you ever seen a stray cat around the Academy?” Konoka replied. “Academy Security keeps a tight leash on that sort of thing.” She giggled at her pun.

“Wait just a moment...”

Everyone turned to Evangeline as she strolled towards Setsuna before continuing, “You're telling me you are afraid of cats?”

“I am not!”

A grin spread across Evangeline's face at Setsuna's quick reply, “No. No, you are terrified of cats aren't you?”

“I am not!” Setsuna replied. But she took a step backwards as she did.

An evil gleam appeared in Evangeline's eye. She turned towards Haruna, “Hey Haruna...”

Haruna scribbled furiously in her artifact, “I'm already ahead of you Eva. Flying Felines Go!”

With a flourish of her pen, several cats leaped forth from Haruna's artifact and took to the air.

The reactions were quick.

Setsuna yelped in panic, spread her wings and leaped into the air, simultaneously drawing her sword. Konoka drew her wand and started chanting a fire spell at Haruna. Evangeline moved to defend Haruna as everyone else scattered out of the way.

It was agreed later by everyone that Konoka should not be provoked like that ever again.

edited 31st Mar '15 12:02:55 AM by UberNimrod

Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
UberNimrod "EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out." from Likely nowhere near you Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
"EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out."
#80157: Mar 31st 2015 at 12:07:52 AM

Triple post!

Omake 1: Cat Eye Spy
.
.
Everyone had gathered on the beach in the resort to watch the veterans of Ala Alba demonstrate their talents for fighting, casting, and overall teamwork once Konoka and Evangeline stopped their combat. There was plenty for the new people to see. Evangeline had Chisame start off the demonstration since her mice were largely for show as there was no internet within the resort proper, although Ayaka and Makie did mention about seeing them during Mahorafest. Ku Fei showed off her raw power, while Kaede's clones interacted with everyone sitting on the beach to show off her ability to be in multiple places at once before they had a sparring match. Afterwards, Evangeline's maids filled in the craters while Asakura made her camera drones take pictures of everyone. Sayo buzzed the crowd with her own drone while in her doll body.

Haruna made tentacle monsters appear from her artifact. This was immediately followed by 'Let's Chase Haruna Around and Try to Beat Some Sense Into Her.'

Each demonstration was usually followed by several questions from the newcomers.

Two pairs of eyes watched perhaps more intently than any of the humans present. Especially during the sparring match between Setsuna and Asuna.

“Alright. I am willing to concede that it might be her.”

“I tried to tell you that earlier.”

“So you did. I didn't believe you at first. I still don't fully believe you now. Especially when you keep calling her the Crow Princess of Cats.”

“I knew I smelled a crow hanyo here. I still believe that is indeed the Crow Princess of Cats. At least I was right about the Precious Protector wasn't I?”

“Hmmm... Maybe. I will note that some of those other humans can move as fast or faster than the one you call the Precious Protector.”

“Do not tell me you didn't feel content to just be held after the Precious Protector captured you?”

“That is why I am saying you may be right.”

“That is what the prophecy says. 'The Crow Princess of Cats will be accompanied by her Precious Protector. The Precious Protector will never hurt any that try to harm the Princess. Instead she will give them hugs and make them feel too content to be able to attack.'”

“I'd like to point out that the Precious Protector was throwing fireballs at those other two humans after we were captured.”

“That one human is a vampire. She doesn't count.”

“Doesn't count?”

“The Protector will never hurt any living thing. Vampires are not living. Doesn't count.”

“What about that other human?”

“She is obviously a monster. Look what she summoned moments ago.”

“You also said that the Princess would provide all of us cats with plenty of meat to feast upon. How is she going to do that when she is terrified of us?”

“That is the trouble with prophecy. You never know how it will be fulfilled until it happens.”

“I assume then we are going to inform the others of this discovery?”

“Of course we are.”

Both cats resumed watching the proceedings in silence.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Omake 2: Love Birds
.
.
“We really shouldn't do this,” Sakurako murmured. “It's not right.”

She responded by pecking Sakurako's neck, giving her a series of light kisses from just under her ear working her way down to stop at her shoulder. Sakurako trembled the entire time she did so.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked.

“No,” came the quiet reply.

Setsuna smiled before giving Sakurako feather kisses on her back, between her shoulder blades. Sakurako inhaled in anticipation as Setsuna's arms embraced her.

Then Konoka beat me to a bloody pulp so I couldn't write any more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's notes

Now you know why there is no Set Saku crack on here. It would never work. Even if I think it is the only crack pairing that has not been done here on Ffnet.

[Blatant Lies] No, I am not planning anything like The Adventures of Cookie and Biscuit. I would not do anything like that at all. After all, I am sure there are PLENTY of funny cat stories elsewhere on this site, I do not feel the need to add to those. Besides, I am busy trying to update Raising Negi, A Stultus Pulchram Story, and Joker in the Deck. My plate is full, and I should not work on anything else. [/Blatant Lies]

Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
rikalous World's Cutest Direwolf from Upscale Mordor Since: May, 2009 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
World's Cutest Direwolf
#80158: Mar 31st 2015 at 1:04:11 AM

[up][up]Chacharmaru does not approve of kitties being used for evil. There will be Words later.

MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#80159: Mar 31st 2015 at 1:30:37 AM

[up][up][up] & [up][up] cool This has my seal of approval. One question, though... Are Biscuit and Cookie completely made-up, or are they a reference to another work?

[up] Indeed.

edited 31st Mar '15 1:30:50 AM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
UberNimrod "EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out." from Likely nowhere near you Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
"EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out."
#80160: Mar 31st 2015 at 2:04:21 AM

Biscuit and Cookie are the names of Sakurako's cats. Pretty sure I read that someplace.

Gotta run. Will research later to be certain.

Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
UberNimrod "EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out." from Likely nowhere near you Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
"EEEEK!!! CATS!!" "Setsuna? Chill out."
#80162: Mar 31st 2015 at 7:46:29 AM

The first three sentences from the Negima wikia Marq.

She is the most cheerful of the three cheerleaders in the class. She likes Negi, but only because she thinks he is cute. She loves karaoke and her pet cats, Cookie and Biscuit and is in the lacrosse club.

I find it funny because proper British people refer to cookies as 'biscuits.' Meaning both cats are named Cookie.

Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
Kurush from Stockholm Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: Desperate
#80163: Mar 31st 2015 at 7:47:33 AM

She does, actually. It was mentioned early on, I think, when Chamo was introduced to the class. Or was it on Sakurako's cover page?

Anemo1 The one and only from Wherever I was originally Since: Apr, 2014
The one and only
#80164: Mar 31st 2015 at 8:01:35 AM

It's April Fools Day

Someone do something stupid or I will

I know you all miss me
Kurush from Stockholm Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: Desperate
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#80166: Mar 31st 2015 at 8:18:04 AM

[up][up][up][up] The lack of a clear, actually-enforced citation policy makes me question the credibility of this wiki's info, since I cannot correlate it to anything that I remember right now from the manga.

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
unlikelyauthor from the forge Since: Sep, 2012 Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
#80167: Mar 31st 2015 at 9:33:57 AM

Sakurako's cats were mentioned in her profile page in the manga. also mentioned she hated roaches

Fate Grand Order players will know me as Ryusei-Go.
Archivist10 Oh for God's sake! Since: Jan, 2013
Oh for God's sake!
#80168: Mar 31st 2015 at 10:13:42 AM

@Uber: Actually we (at least everyone I know) refer to most of them as biscuits but those with chocolate chips in them as cookies. So we still use cookies, but only to refer to a specific type.

Anemo1 The one and only from Wherever I was originally Since: Apr, 2014
The one and only
#80170: Mar 31st 2015 at 10:35:43 AM

For some reason I woke up today and thought it was the 1st, forgetting that March as 31 days.

I apologize for going full retard

I know you all miss me
Archivist10 Oh for God's sake! Since: Jan, 2013
Oh for God's sake!
#80171: Mar 31st 2015 at 12:47:44 PM

How sure are we that Archivist isn't a not-very-cleverly disguised, drunken Akamatsu?

That's an odd conclusion.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#80172: Mar 31st 2015 at 1:15:37 PM

Which you are not denying.

Illuminati confirmed.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Archivist10 Oh for God's sake! Since: Jan, 2013
Oh for God's sake!
#80173: Mar 31st 2015 at 1:19:47 PM

I would like to deny one thing: I am never drunk.

Sereg Since: Jun, 2010
#80174: Mar 31st 2015 at 2:28:08 PM

I remember Cookie and Biscuit from Sakurako's profile in the manga and approve of these shenanigans.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#80175: Mar 31st 2015 at 3:43:50 PM

I thought biscuits were those things you ate with gravy?


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