Run after the elephant and try climbing on him again.
I look through my binoculars at the surrounding area.
"My Cathy, it's an Ashen Ogre!" I exclaim.
I evaluate my options and decide that the best approach here is to blast that ogre until there is no more ogre to blast.
The thing with the red gold crown.
Go into one of the caves and begin a quest for enough iron to make a golem.
edited 26th Oct '15 9:56:20 PM by Philosopher
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Meeee
Yeah okay, or you could have just reminded me that magic doesn't work inside Louise. Y'know, instead of exploding my guy's arm into a bloody pulp. Where did said blood and/or backside even come from? He's a vine golem, not made of flesh and blood. Just in case you forgot.
edited 27th Oct '15 2:07:56 AM by BCTheEntity
At the heart of the world...
Let's try heading up the staircase. Might be better than heading down. In the meantime, it would be nice to be able to make a makeshift torch out of stuff. If I can't find anything too useful, then I won't make it, but I suppose I could have my hand at taking one of the lanterns off the wall to light the way.
@BC: I've adjusted your entry to account for that inconsistency.
Meeee
That is infinitely worse, and please go fuck yourself with a chainsaw.
Well, this is a problem. Uh... I can't really heal myself due to no magic, and there's nothing around for me to bandage myself up with... well, crap.
Yeah, great job tempting fate you fucking cocksucker. God damn it, I didn't transmute my personality into an apparently semi-unkillable entity just to die horribly over and over again due to the actions of ephemeral and increasingly stupid morons like you.
Hey, I forgot one small detail-
That in one fell swoop lost you your race, your arm, your pride, and your right to fucking complain like the little bitch that you are. Now shut up and find a way out of this hellhole before we get eaten by unicorns. Or Louise, again.
...ooookay... uh... alright, well, since I got myself nearly killed with that, uh... shit, am I gonna bleed out? That'd suck. But, since we were planning on trying to keep moving onward anyway, I suppose I have no choice but to try to find a way out, as the man said. So, uh, I do that. And try not to bleed out, of course.
Jedi of the Old Republic
I take a look at the hut to my right.
What is this "signature" of which people speak?
Roll To Dodge: Savral Turn 177
First time posts for this session require you to state a race and class of a Dnd/Fantasy RPG variety. This is an RTD with some continuity and I want to make sure you don't show up with space-themed stuff when that doesn't fit with the general theme. I also recommend reading through my previous posts to get a sense of how I run things and some of the things you don't want to do. You'll also get a sense of the stuff that's going on by doing so.
Blackie (3,5): You rush forward, perform a spinning back-kick into one of the monkeys, and then tackle two more with your arms. Said three monkeys fall back into the portals, which then close and then explode in a blast of octarine energy. The other three monkeys attempt to circle around you. The orcs fire off a series of magic missiles, but they seem to miss you entirely.
Undying Phoenix (1): You rush after the elephant, but you almost immediately fall into a hole, which seems to go down for some time. The arbiter seems to follow you down. You eventually crash onto solid ground. It seems to be fairly dark in the cave, and you can’t particularly see the edges of the chamber you’re in.
A few seconds later, as you try to get back up, you feel the full brunt of the elephant’s weight as it lands down on top of you. You think it may have broken your spine.
Jondanger 23 (6): You pull out your binoculars and look throughout the surrounding area. You don’t see too much that you hadn’t noticed before, but when you glance over near the mountains, you see a unicorn floating in the air, staring at you. When you remove your binoculars, you suddenly find yourself in a womb-like area, with bile fluids forming a small stream around you. Much of the chamber is consumed by darkness, but you see a large heart-like structure hanging on the ceiling, beating and shaking the room every few seconds. Bundles of flesh have now bound your feet to the ground.
Furthermore, the unicorn you saw is now standing in front of you, along with several more.
“Hey there, Johhny boy! Long time no see! Now, I’m sure we’ve had enough of the killing today, so why don’t we just be friends? I’ve brought along some buddies who would be more than happy to play with you! KYAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
You then see seven fleshy, goop-like monsters emerge from the ground around you.
Kilgore Trout (3); Ashen Ogre (6): You lob a magic missile spell at the Ashen Ogre, even though you’re a cleric. A small wound opens in the ogre’s stomach, but it seems unperturbed by your attack. It then approaches, lifts its hammer up high and then smashes it down. Although you try to avoid the attack, the hammer strikes right into your stomach, sending your upper body flying into the closed-off entrance behind you. You seem to be bleeding profusely. You then notice that the hammer seems to be buried halfway into the ground, forming a bit of a crater. The ogre struggles to pull it out.
Philosopher (5): You walk into the caves, and almost immediately after you enter, you find a wheelbarrow full of iron ingots, which seem to have been preserved through unknown means over the years.
Black Mage Anolis (3): You unhook one of the lanterns hanging off the wall and begin ascending upward. You go up and up and up, occasionally finding a door along the side. The stairs seem to grow slightly narrower as you head up, but there doesn’t seem to be any end to the stairs in sight.
BC The Entity (1): You take two steps forward and then trip over onto the ground. The blood starts gushing out of your wound even faster, and then quickly coagulates into the shape of a unicorn. Said unicorn grows larger and larger, and then bites down or your actual head. You died. Re…
You now find yourself standing on what appears to be a large tongue, with a wall of teeth far ahead of you. On the roof of the mouth, you see several large dangling blob structures with unicorn faces. They all seem to be staring at you. You see several more faces appear on the teeth up ahead, bearing that same grinning mug. On the plus side, you seem to have recovered from your wounds. Normal magic still appears to be suspended in this area.
Cathy then reappears in front of you. “Aww.. BC, you look like you’re a little stuck there. I just figured it would be a shame if you died so quickly, so I kept you alive for just a bit longer.” She floats in close and grabs you by the chin, “Wouldn’t you like some help from little old me? Eh?”
Cathy’s hands feel a bit sweaty. You also start to notice the staggering warmth in this area.
Cybersbe (3): You examine the hut a bit more. The hut lies along a small dirt path, and several trees around it seem to have been reduced to stumps. A small pile of logs has been gathered alongside it, and you see a stump closer to it with an axe lodged inside it. Farther ahead, you see about three kobolds working at removing some of the trees. You also see a wooden cart, along with an ox tied up underneath a stable-like extension. The entrance seems to be facing away from you.
Stats
| Name | Race | Class | Location | Muniez | Items |
| Philosopher | Doppelganger | Gunslinger | Witchlands | 1 | crystal orb, guidebook, pistols, assault rifle |
| Jondanger 23 | crab-claw | Ranger/scout | ??? | 1 | bow&arrows, 2 shortswords, binoculars |
| BC The Entity | Human | Monk | Unicorn inside Louise | 1 | |
| Undying Phoenix | half-elf | summoner | volcanic island | 1 | summoning book, Protoss Arbiter, African Elephant |
| Blackie | dwarf | Manslave /moonshiner | Savanna | 1 | crystal orb, 6 potions, component pouch |
| Cybersbe | Revenant/Zombie | Ranger | Forest | 1 | crystal orb, poker, enchanted scimitar |
| Yoloisfox | pig | blacksmith | cavern | 1 | |
| Black Mage Anolis | Kobold | Artificer | Kadath | 1 | crystal ball, hammer, shortsword, lantern |
| Kilgore Trout | half-orc/dwarf | Priestess of Cathari | Mountains | 1 | crystal orb, enchanted golden warhammer |
| Moocow | Human | Thunder mage | Jungle | 1 | crystal orb, map orb, health potion |
Extra Abilities/Skills
- Jondanger 23: Aspect of Hercules, Banish Unicorn, Leeroy, Slayer of the Manslave
- Philosopher: Truesight, Quick Draw, Two-handed gun accuracy, Eldritch Curse, Animate Golem, Soulbind, Cure Light Wounds,
Simplified Resurrection, Schierke’s Pact - BC The Entity: Battlefield Controller, Spell Crafting 1, Warp Proficiency, Octarine Bipolarity, Vineweaver
- Mathleticism: Witch’s Pact, Tinkering
- Cyberse: Hollow Reflexes, Diplomat, Skirmisher I
- Blackie: Unarmed Combatant, Giant Slayer, Witch’s Pact, Skirmisher I
- Undying Phoenix: 2/3 Summoning slots, Augmented Summoning, Witch’s Pact, Eldritch Curse, Divine Retribution
- Black Mage Anolis: Super-Shifty, Diplomat
- Yoloisfox: Animal Lover
- Kilgore Trout: Worships Cathy
Try to summon another Terran Medic.
"Owww..."
Something something DBZ
I try to kill myself
What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets, but enough talk have at you!
My son is a dumbass
"Let us dance!" I take a swig out of one of the bottles to boost my dexterity, then i get ready to counterattack whatever may come.
I pull out my shortswords, ready to defend myself.
At the heart of the world...
Well, let's peak inside the next door we come across.
@Cathy: Oh, I meant to blast it with my warhammer that shot magical bolts, but that works too. Just for clarification's sake, am I now missing everything from the waist down?
@Kilgore Trout: Yes you are, though this condition might be temporary.
Meeee
"Uhhh..." I begin uncertainly.
Nooooo...
I mean, we are stuck inside two layers of concentrated evil and/or perversion...
Yeah, and who the hell do you think put us there? And furthermore, why do you think they have any reason to get us out of them?
And who else can?
I assume the point is that we're literally incapable of escape, and that we're going to be trapped within ever-shrinking layers of unicorn and/or witch for eternity. Fuck me, I didn't sign up for this, I just wanted to go raiding with my fellow elves!
That sounds... pretty nasty.
Yeah, I never said I was a nice guy. But I'm not some eldritch monstrosity bent on fucking over everything everywhere, am I?
Technically, you're just a split personality of mine at the moment.
Fuck off, you're my split personality if anything. And make a decision about this shit already.
Alright, alright... erm... alright, there's such a thing as negotiation, so I suppose I'll give that a shot before accepting anything.
"Alright, so let's pretend for half a second that I accept your, ahem, offer," I say to Cathari. "What, exactly, would you helping me do for-slash-to me?"
There's really only one thing to say when you're bisected like this:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Somehow, through the pain and shock, I have a coherent thought. Which, being omniscient and all, my goddess can probably read. Which is good, because I'm too busy screaming in pain to pray to her out loud.
The coherent though:
I'm probably gonna bleed to death, and then I'll die, and that means one less source of entertainment for her, and maybe she'll save my life just so I'm around to suffer more for her...
@Cathy: Take this as a attempt to pray for divine intervention. I doubt I have any spells that can fix this kind of thing, and I can't think of any other options. Btw, if that was what a 3 got me, I'd hate to see what a 1 would be!
edited 30th Oct '15 4:36:22 AM by KilgoreTrout
Jedi of the Old Republic
I examine the area where the terrain seems to rise.
What is this "signature" of which people speak?
The thing with the red gold crown.
Make pockets in my coat and seal the iron ingots in my coat to make armor.
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Roll To Dodge: Savral Turn 178
First time posts for this session require you to state a race and class of a Dnd/Fantasy RPG variety. This is an RTD with some continuity and I want to make sure you don't show up with space-themed stuff when that doesn't fit with the general theme. I also recommend reading through my previous posts to get a sense of how I run things and some of the things you don't want to do. You'll also get a sense of the stuff that's going on by doing so.
Undying Phoenix (1->2): You attempt to summon another Terran medic, but for some reason, your magic doesn’t seem to be working.
Yoloisfox (2): You’re a pig. You don’t really have the reach or flexibility to be able to kill yourself by strangulation. Maybe you should try interacting with the tuxedoed guard.
Blackie (5,3->4): You take a swig out of one of your bottles, and suddenly feel a surge of energy. You now have a temporary boost in combat abilities for the rest of this encounter.
One of the monkeys leaps in close to you and tries to bite your skull off, but you quickly duck, grab it by the head, and then twist it. With one swift motion, you take the monkey corpse, run up to the other monkey, and smash it with the corpse. Said monkey’s insides smash open. The third monkey backs off a bit.
The orcs out in the distance continue firing off magic missiles, but they start backing away from you and take cover behind some of the trees.
Jondanger 23 (5): You pull out your shortswords, ready to defend yourself with them. One of the blob monsters approaches you, but you quickly strike back at it, causing it to explode.
One of the unicorns frowns and says, “This is going to take a while, isn’t it?”
Black Mage Anolis (2): You walk over to the next door up and attempt to open it. It doesn’t seem to budge.
BC The Entity (5): “Well… Oh great, someone’s trying to contact me. Ugh, hold on.”
Cathy briefly turns around, and you wait about a minute or so before she returns to you, “Anyway, I could get you out of this whole situation by teleporting you out of here, since my super-duper special magic overrides the normal constraints of this here area. And on top of that I could put Louise on house arrest and return this entire region back to normal. Plus I can give you another free teleport to any location in the world or to one of the other players after this. And if you make the right choice, I might throw in the next action for free. I’m just in that kind of a mood today.
“I know I might have been rough on you and stuff, but you know I just do it to mess with you and keep up my crazy/pervy persona. Besides, you know you like my spankies…
“Considering you’re going deeper and deeper into a shit-hole, I just thought I’d give you a way out. All you have to do is kiss, and specify the place you’d like to go. It’s either that or spend the next twenty or so turns trying to dig yourself out. What’s it going to be, BC?”
Kilgore Trout (5); Ashen Ogre (5): Oh come on! Ugh… Can’t you see that I’m trying to have fun with my delicious little manslave? Jesus, you’re so needy!
Look, here’s what you need to do. You’re a cleric right? Just use healing magic on yourself. Unlike most versions of Dnd, healing magic is kinda strong and is probably one of the most broken things in this game. Your wounds will repair themselves in no time. If you keep asking me for help, I’m gonna have to stop giving you Cathy’s super-special fun times. Okay? Anyway, gotta go!
You then take a moment to perform a healing spell on yourself. Your ribs repair themselves back to normal, and your lower body reforms.
The Ashen ogre moves forward, and then smashes his hammer into your side, sending you flying into the wall once more.
Cybersbe (2): You have already examined this area, which contains the wood gathering hut. You don’t find anything new by examining it further.
Philosopher (5): Seeing as you’re apparently wearing a coat, you create pockets in them and place the iron ingots in them to form a sort of makeshift armor. This armor may help blunt attacks in the future.
Stats
| Name | Race | Class | Location | Muniez | Items |
| Philosopher | Doppelganger | Gunslinger | Witchlands | 1 | crystal orb, guidebook, pistols, assault rifle, iron-embedded armor |
| Jondanger 23 | crab-claw | Ranger/scout | ??? | 1 | bow&arrows, 2 shortswords, binoculars |
| BC The Entity | Human | Monk | Unicorn inside Louise | 1 | |
| Undying Phoenix | half-elf | summoner | volcanic island | 1 | summoning book, Protoss Arbiter, African Elephant |
| Blackie | dwarf | Manslave /moonshiner | Savanna | 1 | crystal orb, 5 potions, component pouch |
| Cybersbe | Revenant/Zombie | Ranger | Forest | 1 | crystal orb, poker, enchanted scimitar |
| Yoloisfox | pig | blacksmith | cavern | 1 | |
| Black Mage Anolis | Kobold | Artificer | Kadath | 1 | crystal ball, hammer, shortsword, lantern |
| Kilgore Trout | half-orc/dwarf | Priestess of Cathari | Mountains | 1 | crystal orb, enchanted golden warhammer |
| Moocow | Human | Thunder mage | Jungle | 1 | crystal orb, map orb, health potion |
Extra Abilities/Skills
- Jondanger 23: Aspect of Hercules, Banish Unicorn, Leeroy, Slayer of the Manslave
- Philosopher: Truesight, Quick Draw, Two-handed gun accuracy, Eldritch Curse, Animate Golem, Soulbind, Cure Light Wounds,
Simplified Resurrection, Schierke’s Pact - BC The Entity: Battlefield Controller, Spell Crafting 1, Warp Proficiency, Octarine Bipolarity, Vineweaver
- Cyberse: Hollow Reflexes, Diplomat, Skirmisher I
- Blackie: Unarmed Combatant, Giant Slayer, Witch’s Pact, Skirmisher I
- Undying Phoenix: 2/3 Summoning slots, Augmented Summoning, Witch’s Pact, Eldritch Curse, Divine Retribution
- Black Mage Anolis: Super-Shifty, Diplomat
- Yoloisfox: Animal Lover
- Kilgore Trout: Worships Cathy
I stab all of the other blob monsters with my shortswords.
At the heart of the world...
Alright, I suppose we can head up a little more.
Push monkeys back in portals while shrugging.