Kagami Hiiragi, or Konata Izumi Mk II

That last one was meh. That seems like a good idea though.

<3 Konata.

It's Thursday! Time for another story.

The Real Reason by Edmond Dantes

Konata dragged Edmond out to a grove somewhere where the only thing that could spy on them was the rays of sunlight bursting through the trees. Edmond was a little nervous, because either Konata was finally warming to him or else she was setting him up for something, and either possibility made him distinctly uncomfortable.

Konata stopped, faced Edmond, and said "I have something to confess."

Oh boy, thought Edmond, here it comes...

"The reason I don't love you is because I'm in love with somebody else!"

Silence fell on the grove, any sounds that had been going on ceased, cars stopped, a war that was going on in the Middle East was put on pause. SHODAN temporarily suspended her genetic experiments on the moon. This was that big.

It was also not what Edmond was expecting, and it took him a moment to reorient himself. "Excuse me but... huh?"

"The reason I'm not in love with you is because I'm in love with somebody else!" Konata repeated. This time it was less dramatic, so the rest of the universe went back about its business.

Edmond thought. "So, what you mean is if you weren't in love with this other person, you'd love me."

"Errr, well, no..." Konata realized she was getting off subject, said "Look, the other person is—"

"So what's this other person got that I ain't got?" Edmond asked.

"A better grasp of a woman's feelings, for one. Now listen, this person is—"

"But I'm sure this other person is no good for you! I mean, you know I'm not hiding any dirty secrets! Except the body pillow, but you gave that to me so..."

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO MY LOVER IS OR NOT?"

End Story

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

What? No responses whatsoever to that last story? I gave you a whole weekend, guys -__-

Anyway, I might not be able to get online tomorrow so I'm posting a story today.

The Real Reason (Part 2) by Edmond Dantes

"Just kidding!" Edmond said. "It's Kagami, isn't it?"

"Huh?" Konata asked. "How could you tell?"

"Oh I dunno, just something about the chemistry you two have. There's a special feeling whenever you're together." Edmond explained, then asked "So, what's the hold up?"

"Well, its... thing is, I don't know if Kagami likes me just as much," Konata turned her back, not wanting Edmond to see the uncertainty written on her face. Then she dramatically turned around and asked "You americans are crazy, right? What would you do? What's the American way of dealing with these things?"

"Hide under your bed and write emo poetry," Edmond answered. "But you don't want the American way, you want the Edmond Dantes way, and its this!"

Edmond grabbed Konata's wrist, started pulling her along. "Come on!" he explained, "We're going to Kagami's house!"

Edmond Dantes has become the matchmaker! Will this end well? Or will some bizarre unexpected twist be thrown in on our young lovers? Tune in next time! Same Lucky thread, same Lucky channel

Akira Kogame pops up, asks "Did somebody say 'Lucky Channel'?"

We weren't talking about you, Akira.

"Pooh," Akira becomes disgruntled, and leaves.

To Be Continued!

edited 25th Oct '10 3:55:50 PM by Edmond_Dantes

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

Are you taking Konata to Kagami's house so Konata can tell Kagami that Kagami's going to be starring in self-insert fanfiction, written by Konata? Or is that not the Edmond Dantes way?

The Edmond Dantes way involves Altair

edited 25th Oct '10 5:16:12 PM by LandOfGold

Sorry to sidetrack ya'll who are waiting for a continuation of "The Real Reason" story arc, but I had this unrelated idea and I felt like I just had to write it down and post it first! Please excuse me, and I hope you enjoy!

What We Have in Common by Edmond Dantes

Edmond, Konata, Kagami and Tsukasa were at Miyuki's house, standing just inside the front hall.

"Man," Edmond said. "Does visiting ever give you that 'fish out of water' feeling?"

Konata said "It's like, its a nice place, but you're afraid to turn on the TV or play a game, because you feel bad touching anything that isn't yours—"

"You feel bad about that?" Kagami looked cynical, but then herself added, "Its worse when you want to eat, but you feel bad going through their food cabinets. But then you do it anyway, and you feel worse, because you feel so wrong taking somebody else's food!"

"Kagamin would think about food..." Konata smirked.

"No, I totally get it," Edmond said. "Only in my case, its even if I find something I like, I can't cook it, because everyone's stoves and microwaves work differently! So I have to stick with fruits and vegetables, which aren't very filling! But then they invite me to dinner and I'm really hungry and I say 'yeah!' but then it turns out to be something I don't like, and I have to force myself to eat it and pretend to like it, but I'm still hungry afterward."

Konata and Kagami glared at Edmond. Kagami said "Whoa, that's... totally selfish of you."

"Ummm," Tsukasa said, "Actually, I'm the same way..."

---

Later, after dinner, the group—which now included Miyuki—continued their conversation:

"But you know what the worst is?" Edmond asked. "Visiting people who have children. I mean like, young kids. The terrible twos. Kids aren't so bad when they're a little older and can actually understand human speech, but if they're too young they're just unbearable!"

Konata made like she was clenching her ears, "Yeah, I can't stand their wailing! And then there's the times they crawl in your lap and sit there quietly, and you think 'oh, how cute!' but then there's this terrible smell, and you realize what the baby did."

"I never liked drooling," Edmond picked up. "Oh, and then there's the ones where you give them food, and they eat maybe a bite or two and then throw the rest on the floor. Back in America one of my friends had kids who would spit juice everywhere, or get in the cat's litter box and scatter it throughout the house. He was mad for days at that one!"

"Edmond," Kagami said, "I get the feeling that you're the type who would get into a relationship, then run out on the woman when she turns up pregnant."

"You'd be wrong!" Edmond said, "Because I have no intention of losing my virginity, ever!"

Kagami's face went blue, and she couldn't put her words into thought: "a man who has absolutely no interest in sex? Such a person exists?"

"Oh, stop that!" Tsukasa said. "You guys are really making me want a baby now! Talking about all the cute little things they do! I just can't wait until I'm married and then I can have my own little bundle of joy!"

Konata, Kagami and Edmond all three thought togther: "She thinks this sounds CUTE?!"

---

They were now walking down the street. Miyuki was no longer with them.

"Hey, Edmond," Konata asked, "Did you ever do sleepovers?"

"Yeah, a few times."

"Hmm? Considering you think house visits are hell, I bet you didn't enjoy sleepovers very much. Am I right?"

"Bingo! Actually, house visits are just a preview of hell. A sleepover is hell itself!" Edmond declared. "First of all, I have to adjust my sleeping habits. If all they have is a smelly couch, or just a spot on the floor, then I have to live with it even if its the most uncomfortable thing ever! And then there's all the difficulties of being a guest. But on top of that, sometimes I can't sleep, so I just want to go somewhere and play a game, but I have to turn the volume down to not wake anyone up! Worse is that I mostly play console games, so I have to find a way to drag my Playstation 2 or whatever to my friend's house. Of course if he also has a PS 2, then I just have to bring the game and my memory card, but then I was growing up in the days of the Super Nintendo, so a lot of times I had to bring the game anyway. And if it was a computer game, oh boy... and then in the morning, when I'm feeling all grimy and want a shower, but either they're already using it or the pipes are bad or they don't have any soap..."

"Its like," Konata condensed it, "When you're at home, anything you could possibly want to do is right there in arm's reach, but when you're away from home suddenly there are all these restrictions, and it makes you feel sorta entrapped, right?"

"Right!"

Kagami smirked, and said "So, I'm guessing the two of you don't want to have a sleepover-study group this weekend?"

"Wait a minute," Edmond stopped, and so did the others, "A study group I'm fine with, but is it okay for me to sleep over?"

Kagami flashed a knowing smile, and said "It should be. After all, you're not interested in losing your virginity, right? So being surrounded by cute girls shouldn't tempt you in the slightest!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Edmond said, "Its true that I'm celibate, but I'm still male! I've seen enough anime to know all the embarrassing situations a man can get into when he's surrounded by hot girls, whether he intends it or not!"

Kagami stopped smiling, and thought aloud "Why is it I keep running into people who think real life is just like an anime?"

End Story... or Stories, rather

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

My reaction to most of the stories:

Watch Symphogear

so... you're Batman?

I thought Kagami was Batman.

edited 26th Oct '10 3:32:33 PM by Edmond_Dantes

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

At least he isn't this Chiuauha:

^ And yes, it is a good reaction, if only the fact that none of them really make much sense.

edited 26th Oct '10 3:32:43 PM by Demongodofchaos2

Watch Symphogear

Hey guys, I've had a bad case of writer's block lately which is why I'm late today, so I'm going to give you two stories.

As a special bonus, my author avatar isn't even in the first one.

A Thought About Yuki Nagato by Edmond Dantes

Konata and Kagami were watching The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It was the episode where Kyon is sent to get a heater, and there was a long scene of nothing but Yuki reading a book while people said things in the distance (or maybe the voices came from a television set—I wasn't really sure).

Kagami sighed.

Konata said, "You know, I sometimes wonder something."

"What's that?"

"If somebody flipped up Yuki's skirt, would she even react?"

End Story

---

The Real Reason (Part 3) by Edmond Dantes

Edmond and Konata travelled halfway to Kagami's house, but surprisingly they met her right there on the street, and she was smiling the biggest smile that had ever graced her face.

"Konata, you won't believe it!" Kagami hugged the little girl, "It's the best thing in the world!"

"Not better than this..." Konata said, but she was being squeezed so hard that the words barely made it out her lips. When Kagami loosened her grip, Konata got caught up in Kagami's enthusiasm and said "What is it? What what?"

"Somebody actually wants to go out with me!" Kagami practically squealed.

Edmond could practically see the world shattering around Konata.

Konata reacted jealously. "So who is this guy? Bet he's a real jerk..."

"No, he's a real nice guy! He's clever and witty! Oh, and he's American, just like Edmond! But he's better, because he speaks fluent Japanese!"

"Yeah, whatever!" Konata said somewhat hostily. "So who is this guy anyway? I bet he's real ugly!"

"What's with your attitude?" Kagami wondered. "No, he's actually quite handsome, although his face does look a little weird... but from the neck-down, he's good! Wait, actually he sent me a picture!"

"A picture? Let's see!" Konata and Edmond agreed at the same time.

Kagami thrust her cellphone at them, and declared "HERE!"

End Story

edited 29th Oct '10 2:45:49 AM by Edmond_Dantes

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

Skeletor/Kagami OTP

Elfen Lied has a better plot than Lucky Star, really...

DISREGARD THIS SIGNATURE

An Affectionate Parody.

---

I Make Wacky Things With Fictional Characters by Nohaynicklibre.

"Gee, it sure is boring around here" said Nohaynicklibre, fearing the tought of spending a whole evening again talking to The King about today's youth.

"Mah Boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive FOR" said The King while drinking some of his wine.

"Yeah, right" thought Nohaynicklibre "I'm going to warm things up a little"

Nohaynicklibre picked up his phone

"Is this Ganon?"

"It is I, the grrrrrreatest in Koridai" said a groar-like voice from the other side of the phone

"Hey, The King thinks the same about you! Only thing is that he says "cocksucker" after the "the greatest" part

"He must DIE!"

Suddenly Gwonam arrived in his flying carpet. The King reacted with one of his trademark "OAH!!!" and started throwing tomatos at Gwonam while shouting "DINNER". Nohaynicklibre started liking the old man a lot more.

Too bad Ganon was going to kill him LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL\\

edited 29th Oct '10 4:53:10 PM by nohaynicklibre

I can't stop listening to this

@Edmond

I liked the ending. Skeletor.

@Nick

Shouldn't have laughed that hard.

Hey guys! Very special update for ya'll, but this one may be a doozy!

An Interview With Edmond Dantes by Kagami Hiiragi

Part 1 - On the Future of the Mini-Fics

Kagami looked carefully, and finally found it: The hidden handle to the door in the fourth wall which had been installed the day Edmond started making meta-references in these stupid fanfics. Kagami entered through the door in reality and found Edmond in his usual haunt, practicing his favorite activity: seeing if he could beat Battletoads in Battlemaniacs while a plastic bag with very few air holes was wrapped around his head.

"Hey Edmond," she asked, "Mind cutting out the emo routine for a bit and answering a few questions?"

"Sure!" Edmond took off the bag and turned off the game (which he had been doing badly at anyway, but seeing as it was Battletoads in Battlemaniacs could you blame him?) "Whatcha wanna know?"

"I have a list of questions everyone sent," Kagami pulled out a notebook. "First of all, Tsukasa has noticed you've been posting less of these things lately. She wonders what gives?"

Edmond turned thoughtfully. "Tell you the truth, its a lack of inspiration. I'm running out of ideas, and to be honest, I'm running out of enthusiasm."

"Why?" Kagami was taking down answers.

"If I may be honest, its two things. First, the stories haven't been getting that many responses. I almost kinda miss the flame war of the Konata thread. But I think a bigger factor is just that, well, I watched every episode of Lucky Star over a month and a half ago. Watching that show was like falling in love, it set off all the synapses. But now its over and its been over and there's only so much mileage you can get from rewatching the same episodes over again. I tried reading the manga, but to be honest it goes over a lot of the same content as the anime—there's very little new—and a lot of times its less entertaining (but the translator's notes are nice!) And of course, there's doujinshi, but again that only has limited appeal and tends to not fill in the void. Also way too much of it is hentai and I hate that. To tell you the truth, I've only found two good doujin: Lonely Kagamin and... oh I forget its name, but its the one where Konata gets sick."

"Niwakaame," Kagami reminded him.

"Yeah, that's the one." Edmond took a sip of water, "Getting back to my inspiration, another thing is I wanted to stop doing written stories and start doing comics. I've actually had two ideas for novella-length doujinshi. I don't want to talk about them though since its possible they'll never happen. I also thought of going back and doing panel versions of some of the posted stories. But again, there's no ETA on them. It's been hard because I've been sick lately."

"I see." Kagami nodded.

Part 2 - On the Forums

Kagami looked through her notes. "Konata has noticed you've been on the forums less than usual. Any words about that?"

"Mostly, its just boredom." Edmond sighed. "Thing is, my days on TV Tropes are starting to feel a little bit like lather-rinse-repeat. But all forums are the same really: its like, at first they're new and wonderful, but the more you get into them the more they settle into just being routine. It doesn't help that 99% of the subjects on the forum are things I have no interest in and know nothing about, which is quite a feat on a forum that's supposed to have something for everybody.

"Of course," Edmond continued, "The Kagami topic is supposed to be my private corner of the forum, but I feel like I'm the only one trying to keep it alive—and that goes back to the enthusiasm thing I mentioned earlier. Its like, if you want to build a clubhouse but nobody else does, and you keep trying to build it and raise interest and nothing happens, you start to lose interest in the clubhouse, you know?" Edmond chuckled at himself, "Okay, that was the worst metaphor ever, but even so."

"No, I think I understand you. You're basically saying you post less because you have nothing to talk about."

"Right. Even fighting with my enemies has gotten dull. They're like bosses in a video game: You just memorize the patterns and attack the weak spots. Only thing is there's no way to tell if you 'win' or not, and that makes it kinda pointless. Other times arguments just become pointlessly redundant. Its like, how many Manga vs Comics arguments can you get into, you know? Especially when every single time, I look back and all my best points were on the first page, and everything past that was just stupidity. Makes you wonder why I bother talking to people."

"You mean your posts were stupid or the thread in general was stupid?"

"Yes."

Part 3 - On Konata

Realizing she'd never get a straight answer, Kagami went back to her notes and went to the next question, "Konata has another one. She noticed that the nature of your and her relationship changed as the stories progressed but now she's not sure where you and her stand, story-wise. She wants to know."

"Actually," Edmond said, "That reminds me that I had a third doujin idea that was gonna be all about that. Basically it would be the chronological story of our not-really-love. But again, probably not gonna happen.

"As for us, well that goes back to the whole enthusiasm thing." Edmond admitted. "It's like, at first I really loved the premise. I liked the fact that Konata didn't just magically love me like any other self-insert would have done. To be honest though, I think the premise kinda fell apart when I started breaking the fourth wall and having tons of real-world references, because they took it away from its premise and made it more 'anything goes', and anything goes gets boring to write after awhile."

"That's... nice, but that doesn't tell me where you stand as a couple," Kagami pointed out. Hoping to direct his answer, Kagami said "What exactly is up with that recent story where you're trying to get her and me hooked up?"

"Honestly, that's a reversion on my part. When I first discovered Lucky Star I was a Konami shipper. The suggestion of Konata with anyone else was strictly Contra-band! The two of you needed to walk off to a Silent Hill and have a Rocket Knight Adventure! And so many other lame puns I could make."

"Please don't do that..." you can imagine Kagami saying that, right?

Edmond smiled, "So yeah. Basically my stance now is that Konata's hostility towards the Edmond character is strictly habit—there's no real animosity behind it. There's also no longer any hint of romance in our relationship—we're just good friends. I've simply lost all interest in romance with a fictional character. It got dull."

"Does this mean you're going to get a real girlfriend?"

Edmond looked harshly, then said "In the original draft of this interview I went into a long tirade about why romance sucks, and you do not want me to edit it back in. Even if you do, I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

"Because that draft ended with me getting kicked in the crotch, for reasons that totally made sense in context."

"O-kaaayyyyyy...." Kagami rolled her eyes. "So, what are you going to do now? And please don't respond with a meme."

"I'm going to take a nap. See ya later, Kagamin!"

"Later, Edmond!" and Kagami went back through the door in the fourth wall and back to hanging out with cartoon characters.

By the way, no punchline.

End Story

edited 1st Nov '10 8:45:40 PM by Edmond_Dantes

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

People are still reading. It's just that nobody's posting.

^ This. I've been reading everything you've posted in this thread. I've just had less to say about them. There was a lot more to say back when it was the Konata Izumi topic and everyone was just flaming everyone.

edited 1st Nov '10 5:28:38 PM by DYRE

I don't even want to know what was said.

You got some dirt on you. Here's some more!

Us vs Them is fun.

And yeah the "Not enough comments" bawwing is probably not as legit as I think it is. The lack of inspiration/running out of ideas is a concern tho.

I'm about to watch an episode of Lucky Star so hopefully it'll spark something.

---

AND WHADDYA KNOW! IT DID!

Okay, it was a mix of factors actually, but still, I came up with something!

Okay guys, here's the continuation of "The Real Reason!"

Also, I would like someone to tell me if this story sounds like Cerebus Syndrome.

The Real Reason, Part Four by Edmond Dantes

Edmond's jaw dropped at the image of Skeletor. Kagami girlishly giggled.

Konata stood still as a statue for a minute, then turned around and ran with tears in her eyes. Edmond, being the only other person with all the facts, turned and immediately pursued, but it was hard to keep up with Konata since she was athletic and Edmond, well, wasn't.

He had in fact lost sight of her briefly, and when he found Konata she was sitting on a swingset in a park that currently had no other visitors. She looked distraught.

"Yo," Edmond said as gently as his stupid self knew how.

Konata looked up, seemed almost to look through him, as if his presence was of no more significance than the announcer in a fighting game. Then she reached out and grabbed his arm and clutched it. In the next minute, she had her arms wrapped totally around Edmond's waist.

Edmond scratched his head, as he immediately saw the same problem everyone reading this story did: "Umm, Konata, I thought you didn't like me."

"I don't. But you like me, right? And now you're my one chance for happiness!"

Edmond's cynicism meter went off the scale. "Okay, I'm gonna hate myself later, but I'm gonna tell you: You're being stupid. Jumping into the first pair of open arms you see just because you have a broken heart never works in the long run. And besides," and Edmond really regretted this part, "Skeletor is what, Kagami's first boyfriend? First loves never last! You still have a chance!"

Konata looked up at him. "You know, you're right! And besides that," Konata suddenly let go, "Hugging you doesn't give me the same magical feeling that Kagami does!"

Konata turned and started thinking aloud, "Anyway, this Skeletor guy is just another stupid foreigner, right? Of course it won't last! Then... and then!... Do you think Kagami is the kind of girl who likes flowers? Or maybe chocolate..."

"Flowers or chocolate?"

The speaker was Kagami, and Konata suddenly froze up, realizing she had been speaking her thoughts aloud. She turned to face Kagami, her face displaying six million forms of apprehension.

It only got worse when Kagami added "You sound like you're planning a date or something!"

"Uhhh..." Konata twiddled her fingers, then whispered to Edmond, "What should I do?"

Edmond's answer was to push Konata towards Kagami and then back off to watch from a safe distance.

Konata gulped, came closer to Kagami but at the last second made a wrong step and fell forward. She was caught by the bigger girl, and the feel of being in Kagami's arms sent a wave of happiness throughout her. She responded with a passionate hug.

Kagami then said "Hey, just so you know, that thing on the phone just now was a joke. I thought for sure Edmond would get it, at least."

"You mean you don't really have a boyfriend?" Konata waited expectantly for Kagami's answer, then exclaimed "That's even better!"

"Why would—" Kagami was about to ask, but truth be told is that the only reason she hadn't gotten the picture yet was pure denial. But now the pieces of the puzzle were in front of her. "Oh," she said, then followed with another, longer "Oooohhhhh..."

The two stood there in silence for a bit, Konata lost in euphoria, and Kagami lost in thought. A couple of passer-bys went by but they all assumed that it was just a couple of sisters hanging out, and nobody payed them much notice (which was probably for the better).

Konata broke the silence, "Ummm... so, I was thinking, maybe we could go to a movie this saturday? Just you and me?"

Kagami could see the feeling in Konata's eyes. Her only response was to give Konata's hair a single stroke, while saying "Let me sleep on it, okay?"

Konata looked doubtful. Everyone knew that "let me sleep on it" was usually a prelude to a let-down. Nevertheless, she softened her grip and grudgingly said "Okay...".

The two could think of nothing else to say, so Kagami just made a line about seeing her tomorrow, and walked home. Konata stood there for a few minutes longer, until Edmond patted her on the back and said "How does it feel?"

"Like I just traded one heavy weight for another," Konata answered.

To Be Continued!

edited 2nd Nov '10 1:03:44 AM by Edmond_Dantes

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

I will get to reading these and giving ratings to your older ones a bit later.

I kind of wish in that last one Kagami had said "Like hell I will".

Well hey, there's someone I haven't seen lately!

Take your time. I'm at a relative's house and they have SLOW internet, so I'm not gonna be on as much. Gonna hopefully use that time to actually try a comic.

The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)

-stuffs Tsukasa in there too-

OT3!

All right, so far both "The Real Reason" and "What We have in Common" stories are both amusing. I am thinking that you should include interactions with other Lucky Star cast members.

As for the Interview: Cheer up, and see if you can find some good LS fanfic. And I am still reading.

edited 3rd Nov '10 11:37:31 AM by Galeros