Lord of Hell
Granted. This causes wide scale, inescapble, toxic fan wars to erupt in literally everything you're interested, resulting in you never enjoying something in piece ever again.
I wish I had $500 more in my bank account.
Granted, it's deemed suspicious so your account is frozen
I wish to beat people up without repercussions
Granted. Now everybody else can beat others up without consequences, too. As a result, society descends into utter chaos as people kill each other over basic things like who gets the right of way and what's for dinner.
I wish for a pair of top end headphones.
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. They're accidentally broken during shipment.
I wish I wasn't allergic to anything.
"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia
Getting better at learning (He/Him)
Granted. Everyone in your family now has deathly allergies.
I wish that Blue Sky Studios was still in operation. Currently Reading: N/A
He/him
Granted, but the whole cast of Ice Age gets Killed Off for Real in their next movie which ends the franchise.
I wish I could teleport on command "FOR REAL?!?"
Am I a weirdo?
Granted. You can't take anything with you (note that this includes clothes), and, while you can teleport whenever you want, the only place you can teleport to is a median on a certain interstate on the outskirts of Dallas.
I wish that Dallas didn't suck so much.
Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.
Granted, it sucks more
I wish I was 5 cm shorter, and the process was neither painful nor lethal
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. Everyone starts mocking you for shrinking.
I wish all whales, dolphins and porpoises were not endangered and instead very commonplace.
"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia
zycone (Resciscor)
Granted. You drown and die in fish fucking. Gross but true.
I wish that the elections in every nation are free, all-encompassing and fair. hi! i'm zycone. how are you then? is everything alright?
Granted. All elections are now determined by an arena deathmatch that's free for anyone to enter.
I wish I had an easier time staying focused.
Granted, you're focused on ending humanity, it's unwavering
I wish I could sleep more soundly, just slightly
Granted. You now sleep a second longer each night.
I wish I could make people do the chicken dance by pointing at them and saying "Gobbledygook."
Knuckles the Echidna
Granted. The dance lasts infinitely, with no way to reverse the effect.
I wish that I could shapeshift voluntarily.
One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest is that I have been betrayed again and again. And again. And again.
Granted, it takes a lot of energy so you have to eat a lot
I wish I could never feel boredom or overstimulation again
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. Now you're brainwashed into finding everything fun, even dangerous things.
I wish my left hand didn't hurt so much when I woke up. "My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia
The Topic Slayer
Granted. Now your right hand hurts when you wake up.
I wish that Draco in Leather Pants and Ron the Death Eater were no longer character-named.
Oh no! The DREADED AQUAE MORTIS! No, wait, it's just your imagination.
inkonveniently inkonsistent
bump
granted. now they're just called the "leather pants" and "death eater" games. great job
i wish to stop procrastinating from here on out, it's all bee puns and 16th century humor without historical context
Granted, you work yourself to death
I wish this wiki had even more high quality articles
zycone (Resciscor)
Granted. This wiki now is an infinite treasure-trove of knowledge and cheek throughout the universe. It starts a revolution in education, increasing literacy and creation everywhere.
The catch though, is that Elon Musk is trying to buy it, and he's actually about to succeed.
I wish that we'd be able to peacefully interact with aliens. hi! i'm zycone. how are you then? is everything alright?
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. Unfortunately the aliens die from being infected with bacteria that is harmless to us humans but lethal to them.
I wish I had a pet sheep.
"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia
Granted. You are given a Minecraft account with a house and a sheep. You didn't say the sheep had to be real.
I wish that I knew my own morality better.
Granted. You now know that you're pure evil.
I wish I had the fastest internet possible at all times and unlimited data for free.
Granted, it gets flagged as suspicious so it gets shut down
I wish I had more quality free time
Granted. They regain their sanity and realize you were the one making the wish so they beat you up for it.
I wish everyone else had similar interests to me.
"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia