Devil’s Hands, Texas. It was a ghost town where nobody dared venture. But right next to it.... was a Walmart.

A group of trained mercenaries known as the Greasemonkeys, 50 years ago, built the store as a cover for their battle arena. Even today, this store is still in use, and people still fight in it. The local hillbillies have termed it...

WARMART

Alright, so this is a bit different from the other R Ps going on. Here’s how it plays: You grab whatever from the store, then you use it to fight someone, or defend against someone, or whatever. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Roleplaying is encouraged, but this is an isolated thread not tied to any existing universe, and it’s more like a combat arena.

Rules are:

1: Don’t be a dick. That should be self-explanatory.

2: Only use stuff you could be reasonably expected to find in a Walmart. Magic is allowed, so long as it has an explanation.

If you’re ready to start... we shall begin.

A bearded man, who looks to be in his late 20’s, peruses the area. He has an athletic build, and looks that could kill... but he’s just buying macaroni and cheese. For now...

Custard, riding in a shopping cart, yanks a package of toilet paper and rips it open.

"Come at me, motherfuckers!"

A young woman with blue hair is at the meat section, and notices Custard screaming from her shopping cart.

"Oh, bring it."

She grabs multiple frozen steaks and begins flinging them at Custard.

R3Ked is also buying Mac-n-cheese. He wants all of it. Fight time! He grabs a knife and stabs the man.

The knife is plunged into the man’s side.... but he treats it like a mosquito bite. He turns to the person responsible, and smashes them in the face with a bowl.

Edited by TalesofUnder on Nov 9th 2020 at 2:09:01 PM

Geek, who just so happened to be buying some loaf of bread, tossed it at R3Ked.

And the man, I guess.

Edited by TheGeekArtist08 on Nov 9th 2020 at 9:10:15 PM

[A feminine young adult with pink hair streaked with red bursts from the frozen section, wearing makeshift armor made out of frozen pizza boxes.]

"WHAT'S UP, BITCHEEEEEEEEES?!"

A gruff middle-aged guy at the checkout is hit by a stray steak.

   Ey! I'm buyin' here! You got a concept of personal space?   

He tosses a miniature cheese at the blue-haired woman.

R3Ked, who is unhappy with being hit three times, stabs the man again and charges towards Geek.

so far i'm the only one with any actual weapon but that's not saying much since the thread started minutes ago

Edited by R3Ked on Nov 9th 2020 at 6:12:00 AM

The man is sent flying across the store, into the frozen food section.

“Alright... so you have chosen death.”

The man rips a milkshake dispenser off the wall. He seems to be tinkering with it...

Custard leaps out of the gardening aisle, shovel in hand. They run through the aisles, whacking as many others as they can.

The woman barely dodges the piece of cheese, but is grazed with cheddar on her cheek.

"You started this..." She grabs some more meats to make a makeshift sling. She then climbs one of the store shelves, flinging meats at anyone she from above.

[The pink-and-red adult gets whacked in the face with Custard's shovel.] OW! where the hell do you think you're going!? [They chase after her in their shopping cart, grabbing a cast-iron skillet as they pass the kitchenware aisle.]

A tall, lanky man with long, dark brown hair runs to the toy aisle, rips open a LEGO Set, opens the bags inside them, and blocks both sides of the aisle with the bricks.

"Oh, heck."

R3Ked sees the man tinkering with the milkshake dispenser, stops running at Geek, and starts running at the man, almost kicking it. He misses by one second.

Edited by R3Ked on Nov 9th 2020 at 6:22:54 AM

The man has completed his project. He uses the milkshake dispenser as a makeshift chocolate-milkshake-powered jetpack, dispensing scalding coffee on the pink-haired woman.

Custard slides through the aisle, disregarding Bee's mess of Legos while whacking him with their shovel

The blue haired woman sees the man with the milkshake jetback. Oh no. No one was gonna be taller than her.

She slings a well aimed piece of meat at his backpack at high velocity.

A pork chop flies from the top of the shelf into the gruff guy's bag. His face loses all expression for a second as he stares in disbelieve.

I. Don't. Eat. Meat.

He picks up his grocery bag and throws it to the ground.

You maniac! He calls to the blue-haired woman. You just earned the ire of Chez Q. Burgess!

Chez runs to the shelf the blue-haired woman climbed and starts shaking it violently.

[The pink-and-red adult shields from the milkshake jetpack using their frying (now drying) pan. In a dramatic maneuver, they leap out of the cart right as it crashes into the lanky man's legos and whacks the inventor man in the head.]

Bee grabs a Godzilla toy and stabs Custard with its tail as hard as he can. He realizes that isn't working, so he just wacks them with it.

The young girl then tossed some apples to the floor, hoping that Bee would trip.

The combination of meat and frying pan causes the man’s jetpack to sputter and fly out of control. He smacks into a straw display and is stabbed to death by the straws.

...And then he respawns. Due to a magic spell set by the Greasemonkeys, death is impermanent here.

Custard respawns... in the cereal aisle. Undeterred, they pour out as many cereal boxes at the can, flattening the boxes before throwing them like ninja stars.

[The pink-and-red adult looks at the inventor man's gruesome death and grins when he respawns.] oh, good! respawns! just the way I'm used to!