you know, like... nya!
Okay, fine.
You are Ayumi Sato, Ultimate Dreamposter. You dream of the greatest shitposts in all the land. Shitposts that have been translated into every language. Only preludes to your greatest ideas yet.
... You find yourself in a classroom. It's dark, dusty, like it's barely been used.
How... how did you get here? No matter how much you search your memory, all you can remember is being at home, and now you're here.
What do you do?
Semain Calm
>write your name really large in chalk on the chalkboard. also draw a cat
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
Hello? Hello, hello?
> INVESTIGATE THE CLASS!
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
sick down from the bones to the other side
>stare vacantly out the window and reconsider your life choices
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!
>Kick down the door with a primal scream
Well, that’d be jus’ a waste. Why would ya want to deprive the world of such anomaly as yourself?
you know, like... nya!
> INVESTIGATE THE CLASS!
It's dark, musty... it's obvious nobody has used this place in years. As you look at the dust piling on the desks, including the one you just woke up in, you can't help but wonder if you contracted something from breathing all that dust in in your sleep...
>stare vacantly out the window and reconsider your life choices
This would be a cakewalk!... If it weren't for the gigantic steel plates covering all the windows, sealed down with comically large bolts. It's dark in here...
>Kick down the door with a primal scream
"YEEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!" You charge at the door, slamming your foot against it, only to feel absolutely no resistance. Is that a door or a brick wall? All you have now is a sore foot...
>write your name really large in chalk on the chalkboard. also draw a cat
AYUMI SATO
Ahaha, that'll show whoever's in here next! You move down to a corner to draw a cat, only to see... hm, someone's already drawn a cat here! And a dog too... that's cute, the dog has its right eye covered in bandages, but the cat has its left eye covered.
"Ooh, ooh, do you think she likes it?" Says a peppy, cheerful voice from behind you.
Hello? Hello, hello?
> Look behind me; Who might it be?
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
eh
==> "Is it another voice?"
you know, like... nya!
> Look behind me; Who might it be?
As you turn around, you spot... well, you spot the very same dog and cat.
A pink anthropomorphic floppy-eared dog, only a foot or so tall, stands on a desk, looking up to you with a sweet loving smile. And opposite her, a black cat, equally anthropomorphic, equally short, but much colder looking. Giving you the frown of a man who could care less.
"Gooooooood morning, Ayumi! Did you sleep well?" The dog says, in a sickeningly sweet voice. The cat is quick to answer with a sigh. "I doubt she was able to, if she knows what we're about to do..."
> "Is it another voice?"
As you stare at the two, you can safely guess they're real.
eh
==> Oh my god. Is it real? Are you finally in a shitpost yourself?
==> Try and pinch yourself awake. See if the Shitpost Land isn't merely another dream you're having.
Hello? Hello, hello?
> "Who are you two?"
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
you know, like... nya!
> Oh my god. Is it real? Are you finally in a shitpost yourself?
> Try and pinch yourself awake. See if the Shitpost Land isn't merely another dream you're having.
You do indeed pinch yourself. You feel the pain, so yep... this is real alright.
"Does... Does she not remember us?"
"Why would she? We already wiped her memory."
> "Who are you two?"
"Lucky."
"Lucy!"
"It's our goal and dream to spread despair and pain far and wide."
"With a big smile on our face!"
"... With a big smile on her face."
Lucy gets on one foot, spinning excitedly before pointing to you, sticking her tongue out.
"And you, Ayumi Sato! You're super duper important! You're the most important! I'm so happy you're here!"
eh
==> ... Most? Is there anybody else besides these two here??
Hello? Hello, hello?
> Check for anyone else here
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
>Tell Lucy to play Despacito
Well, that’d be jus’ a waste. Why would ya want to deprive the world of such anomaly as yourself?
you know, like... nya!
> ... Most? Is there anybody else besides these two here??
> Check for anyone else here
It... doesn't take a scientist to figure out that you are, indeed, the only one here. You figure your DM may be incompetent, but not incompetent enough to just completely forget a fact like that.
>Tell Lucy to play Despacito
"Des... Despa...?"
"Don't worry about it, Lucy. Ayumi, are you ready?"
Hello? Hello, hello?
> "...for what?"
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
>Ready as you'll ever be
Well, that’d be jus’ a waste. Why would ya want to deprive the world of such anomaly as yourself?
you know, like... nya!
>"... for what?"
>Ready as you'll ever be
Lucy gives a sweet, cheerful giggle. Lucky can't help but laugh too...
"Ohh, no, she doesn't know..."
"You silly, what else! Your execution, of course!"
Edited by HuneyB on Jan 10th 2021 at 1:08:50 PM
Hello? Hello, hello?
> "........excuse me my what?!"
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
you know, like... nya!
> "........excuse me my what?!"
The two decide to explain with actions rather than words,
as they both run behind the classroom podium, pulling a lever as the classroom's walls fall away.
Only then, only then do you realize how swelteringly hot it is in here...
BURN BRIGHT! (Like a Proud Student of Hope's Peak Academy!)
You feel the floor beneath you begin to shake, before descending like an elevator. It's only getting hotter and hotter. You decide to check over the edge to see what's happening, when you see...
Flames. Gigantic ones, reaching up and trying to lick you, and only getting closer as you fall closer and closer to them...
The elevator is moving far too fast, and a panicked look at the two animals laughing maniacally only proves they have no plans of stopping it. The flames finally reach the floor, as the desks around you set ablaze. It's getting so hot...
It's getting...
So...
Hot...
>What is your name?
Hello? Hello, hello?
> Akihiro Takahashi, male
artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
An eagle
> Franklin Clinton, Male
Just an eagle. (Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to me).
> Jin Kirigiri, duh Ayumi Satwo Electric Boogaloo
>shitpost
shouldn't his favorite genre be RPG and not point and click though