The 25th: The Guards are Crazy!: Fantasy Light-Hearted (Mis)Adventures

All are accepted.

"Well then...two fire mages. They're going to have to hire more people to deal with fires. Oh, and welcome back the guard, miss. At least you can't get demoted any further than the 25th. We look forward to another experienced face."

Soooooooooooooooooo, just curious but how many people are you waiting to have before we start? Like I said, just wondering. I can wait. :)

• Name: Taag

• Gender: Hung (Male)

• Race: Satyr

• Age: 21 Summers

• Role: Ram (I think that is a fighter?)

• Element: Earth (Wood)

• Appearance: this guy

• Personality: [empty] (He seems to have trouble with this. No suprise since he seems to be drunk and under the influence of some substances. Seems to be a nice guy, though has a penchant o destroy things... scratch that, my bleeding nose says he has anger issues.)

• Skills: [empty] (He excels at getting under the influence. Other skills are trying to ram things "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE", but given that he wrote on the desk first, He probably has targetting issues.)

• Equipment: (A large gourd filled with some kind of alcoholic.. stuff. Seems to be more than alcohol, given how I feel right no. Goo suff tho. lso some kind of boaaard.)

• Magic/Spells:(I think he mumbled something about harder horns than usually wen he wans. Tha count?)

• Backstory: (Taking over for the scrbbler. He seems to be drunk. Anyway, if I understood the goatman correctly, the chum is from a few woods over, being kicked out due to it not being good manners to attack every tree there. Hey, those do not fight back. Well, some do, but those do not fight fair. He then charged through the country side, picking up whatever drink or druggy plant he could find. Seems to have worked. Now he is looking for work and drinking buddies.)

• Other: [stains from whatever stuff is in that gourd]

edited 2nd Mar '17 9:41:10 AM by Blackie

@Light To All: I was just waiting for this sign-up, though I'm happy that this is enough people to start.

@Blackie: Accepted.

Discussion is up!

Sign-ups are still open!

JJ, how the hell did you get this good?! I haven't seen you in a while and then boom you've suddenly got a dramatic boost in quality. It's shocking, man.

I'll think of a character for this roleplay. I'm busy with other roleplays in another site but I just got to hop onto this one for old time's sake.

edited 3rd Mar '17 6:09:16 AM by Victor_Skye

Responses are in character, the information that would be on the sheet will be in parenthesis

Name: Tor and Olch (Torolch?)

Gender: "Da' wun wif da' dangly bits....uhm. Olch?" "MAN!" (Male)

Race: " 'oos racin'?" (Four armed ogre, two heads)

Age: "uhm" (Old enough I guess, you can't really tell with Ogres)

Role: "We'z usin' dis" (Archer, although field artillery is more accurate: He has The two of them have a small ballista)

Element: "...Olch?" "ROCK" (Earth)

Appearance: (Imagine an Ogre, ten feet tall, big, grey, smelly, could tear your arms off. This one These two have four arms and two heads. The right head looks dumbfounded but is talkative, the left head hardly seems alive, and shouts in one syllable words when consulted. Neither has any hair, and the left head has black paint around his eyes. The two of them also smell horrific.

Personality: We eatz, we shootz, we go to da' dumpz, we eatz, we smash rocks tugeva' ta make sounds, we eatz, an' we sleepz an' we eatz. (Basically, he they does what he's they are told, and otherwise stays out of the way. Neither head seems particularly bright.) (Side note: requisition more a lot more food.)

Skills: We shootz da ballisty-fing at da' bad 'unz... dazzit. (These two are- for an ogre, good with a ballista. Meaning that if you have something large and immobile, they might hit it. something person sized or moving, probably won't hit it. I don't think they're willing to put the ballista down though, so don't do melee combat.)

Equipment: Da' ballisty-fing we'z wuz talkin' about. Keep up. (One (1) field ballista, apparently stolen from a battleground, very roughly modified to be carried in four hands)

Magic/Spells: Nope (Two arms, two heads: Wizard. Four arms, two heads: Not a wizard. You learn something new every day)

Backstory: We'z wuz sittin in our 'ole. Bangin' da' rocks tugeva and eatin' dat cow we 'ad ballisty'd in dat field, den our buddy (Phlegm) sed dat dere wuz sum army boyz lookin' for sum 'elp. An' he said dere wuz lotsa food innit fer us. So we went to town an' signed up fer da' army an' now we'z 'ere. (Side note: I think we've found that missing cow from a few days ago)

Other: "TOAST" (No explanation given.)

edited 4th Mar '17 12:05:54 PM by Fireybanana42

@Blackie: Accepted. "A satyr? We're supposed to keep the drunks in line, not make more."

@Fierybanana 42: I'm sorry, but...the Ogre feels a bit too competent. Skilled in both ranged and close combat while being an archer? Just being dumb isn't quite enough to get into the 25th.

edited 4th Mar '17 10:30:10 AM by UndyingPhoenix

@ Undying Phoenix: Alright, I've changed it, now they can only barely hit the broadside of a barn, and they won't do melee because they won't put down the ballista.

edited 4th Mar '17 12:06:12 PM by Fireybanana42

Alright then, accepted!

"And now an ogre. Well...at least they look intimidating. Whether that's a good or a bad thing, gods only know."

Everything apart from the name was written down by a scribe

• Name: Stodmund Thegen
• Gender: Male
• Race: Human
• Age: 20 (confirmed by management despite young appearance)
• Role: Mage, Summoner Healer. He belives to be a summoner since his spell causes hallucinations. Fighter/Regenerator Tank would be a better role for him till he accepts he isn't a summoner.
• Element: Water, pressure
• Appearance: Shaggy dark brown hair, patched up clothing, oversized pants with rope as belt. Somewhat muscular, but rather wiry.
• Personality: Usually not very talkative, bubbly when excited.
• Skills: Can read some common and write his name. Can ride and tend to horses (Yeah, like the 25th would ever get any type of mount)
• Equipment: Magic wand Old pitchfork, completely nonmagical.
• Magic/Spells: Summon random creature Heal (minor wounds), causes hallucinations when used. Effects when cast on others so far untested.
• Backstory: He worked as stable-lad for one of the mounted regiments. Always has been a fan of the Guardsmen, decided to sign up after discovering his magic skills. One of his coworkers explained to us that he started babbling about having summoned a demon after tripping and falling onto his own pitchfork. The only other known incident of him using his healing spell is when he was bitten by a dog he tried to pet.
• Other: [empty]

I don't know much about riding, so I hope the comment on that skill is correct :P

@Mxe: Accepted.

"The interviewer refused to comment, and merely drank himself into a stupor at having to deal with a loony with hallucinations. He has since been brought back to stability with minimum mental scarring."

We have begun!

Sign-ups are always open to the (under)qualified!