Epic Failure Game

It's actually a

RAISIN MUFFIN!!

I walk up stairs.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

I try to write a video game review.

You write for Game Bro Magazine, and John Egbert burns all the issues of it. Combolations! You have accomplished nothing.

I go on Survivor.

You almost instantly end up in an intense quarrel with a few other contestants, getting all four of you voted out at the first opportunity.

I bathe.

You use a soap that includes an ingredient which you are allergic to.

I create an ITT

It gets taken down because the topic was inappropriate, and you get perma-banned from T Vtropes.

I am Dr Bright.

You are Dr Bright. You trip, doing one of the things you're not allowed to do and SCP-963 falls into a sewer.

I go on a fantastic voyage.

Your ships gets thoroughly dissolved in stomach acids.

I go on a vacation to Maldives.

You make the locals very angry, so they strap you to a rocket and launch you at the sun.

I try not to think about :the game:

You just lost it.

I try to get enough hours of sleep.

Not only does your good night sleep get interrupted, but its by the surly grave workers slowly filling in your grave...

I try to change a tire.

It, too gets punctured and you accidentally set your whole car on fire.

I watch some Hbomberguy -videos on Youtube.

You instead watch this.

Try to find a game to play.

You end up finding Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing... except this time it's not even funny.

I attempt to Do Well, But Not Perfect.

You instead Do Perfect, but Not Well.

I throw money down a well.

Not only do you somehow miss the well, but the money bounces back up and hits you in the face—and this takes away one of your previous gains instead of granting you any wishes.

I try to swat a fly.

You swat a Big Bouncer in the face because a fly flew in front of them. It doesn't end well for you, or your bones.

I try to prank someone.

Gone horribly wrong. Gone sexual. In the hood.

I make a sandwich.

You immediately choke on Sand, and are hit with a dozen curses from the now enraged Sand Witch.

I attempt to not accidentally the whole thing.

you the whole thing

i watch the sbemail homsar

Homsar makes your head A’Splode.

I bump this thread.

Someone posts, but it is all in white text.

I try and harness the God Particle.

The power overwhelms you. You esplode.

I try to kill SAXTON HAAAALE!

You Saxton Fail.

I try to beat Terraria

edited 23rd Dec '17 12:49:22 PM by Jaxfirebus

The Moon Lord kills you without taking a single point of damage.

I look up something