Avoiding Darkness Induced Audience Apathy

Generally looking for tips on how to get pretty dark with my Anti-Hero without falling into this.

His story opens with a band of demons killing his parents and his girlfriend. He spends years training to fight and hunting down higher- and higher-ranked cult members to reach the portal to the demon realm, so that he can exact his revenge on the demon lord responsible.

The problem is, the story is poised to become really, really dark. The protagonist spends a good ten to fifteen years hunting down the demon lord, with his hatred festering the entire time, poisoning himself and the few friends he has managed to make. He becomes blood drunk, torturing and killing to reach his enemy. There would be a scene in which a demon is found crying in fear because he knows this "hero" is after him.

I know I could just scale back the violence, but the story is partially meant to be a deconstruction of the typical revenge tale. The reader is supposed to question the protagonist. But still, I don't know how to achieve this without making the reader throw down the story in disgust.

edited 31st Oct '16 6:02:30 PM by BrainSewage

How involved are those few friends? They can be the focus of audience sympathy and maybe viewpoint characters.

One friend, Selvo, is an ex-soldier who helps him navigate the land and connects him to powerful figures. He hangs around Theign (the protagonist) at first for employment, but later for adventure and because he admires a young man with conviction, when he himself had none. He's a good friend and mentor to Theign, and fights alongside him on several important missions, although he struggles with the lengths to which Theign takes his quest at times. Still, he remains by his friend's side.

Tigris, a disgraced royal magician, originally joins Theign to find food in a desolate area. She eventually stays (don't know why yet). She serves for a while as his Morality Chain, and also aids him in making healing potions and enchanting his weapons, because he is incapable of magic. As the years wear on, she finds it harder and harder to connect with him, and feels horrendously guilty for continuing to enable him.

These are his two main friends for the several-year portion of the story I'm focusing on, and while neither of them remains with him throughout the entire story, he does return to them frequently for help, advice, and just to visit.

Out of curiosity, what part of the typical revenge tale are you trying to deconstruct? Keep in mind that deconstruction doesn't necessarily mean Darker and Edgier.

Basically, the notion that the protagonist would remain noble and just, could maintain his moral compass in desperate circumstances, could achieve revenge quickly, and could celebrate and just go on with his life afterward. Not to say this has never been done before, but it's meant to form a central part of the conflict. It's not a "tidy" revenge story at the end.

Edit: Also, it's a sort of dramatic extrapolation from the adage "living well is the best revenge". There is a point in the story when Tigris, exasperated at Theign's obsession, admonishes him for letting the deaths of his family and his girlfriend consume his entire life. He could have had a promising career as a stonemason, a siege engineer, or a scribe, and yet, he threw away his own chance at a happy life in favor of revenge that would ultimately change nothing. But, as Theign retorts, how can one just let such a horrific catastrophe go entirely unpunished? Does anyone have that kind of serenity?

edited 31st Oct '16 9:56:27 PM by BrainSewage

Show the readers that he still has SOME connections to the world beyond his dead loved ones. He has friends and they've stuck with him through the entire revenge quest, so they probably have a REALLY strong connection with him. What are their histories together? Do they have dumb in-jokes that can help calm a situation down? Maybe have his friends invoke a Breather Episode or two and get him drunk or something.

Plus, how does he feel about kids? Maybe he's exceptionally nice to them because he wishes he could have had a family with his girlfriend.

edited 1st Nov '16 1:31:54 PM by Sharysa

The simplest way to try and avoid darkness-induced audience apathy is this: always have a light at the end of the tunnel. Give readers something to hope for. Even if the story you want to tell is a bleak one, remember that a story that is too bleak gives readers no real reason to keep reading, because they know things turn out badly.

For instance, you might want to tone the emotions of your protagonist. Maybe he still has murderous rage towards demons, but make him more amiable around his friends. Have him treat them well, even if his quest for revenge drags them into dangerous situations. This way, readers can see that his friends have a positive influence on him and can hope that they can make him see reason.

You can also have him do things that make it clear he hasn't completely crossed over the edge yet. They don't have to be big things, just little things that lets the person he used to be shine through and give readers hope that he can let go of his issues and move on with his life. His obsession with revenge should have severe consequences, but spread those consequences out, so that they have a much bigger impact when they pop up. Otherwise, you run the risk of "Oh, of course Mr. Scowlyface gets his own team and a big chunk of his body eaten because he insisted on facing down an army of demons. Why would it be different from the last ten times he did it?"

My personal recommendation is to not make him be totally unpleasant to be around 24/7. Unpleasant people are unpleasant to read about after all, and a protagonist that the readers cannot care for is a protagonist the reader will not bother to stick around to see how his story goes...unless the story ends with him ripping his way into the demon world and getting eaten the moment he sets foot there. Then, at least the story becomes an unintentional comedy.

Basically, have him be a pretty decent person to be around most of the time...unless his agenda comes up. Then show that agenda to be a poisonous influence on him, showing readers that he is a decent guy whenever demons aren't brought up, making it clear that revenge is not doing his mental health any favors and let them hope his friends can pull him out of his downward spiral.

edited 1st Nov '16 4:12:16 PM by dragonfire5000

So basically, for me, I'm going to get darkness induced apathy if either:

1) Every single character is rendered unrelatable by their cruelty

OR

2) It seems like the universe is going to step on the throat of every character who isn't rendered unrelatable by their cruelty.

I think that's how it usually works, and the personal variance is in magnitude... how cruel does a character have to be to be unrelatable and how much weight are you willing to tolerate the universe presssing down with?

So if your goal is for the story to ultimately be very, very dark, that darkness is probably going to induce apathy in some of the potential audience.

The best way to avoid that is, I think (as has been said) to offer points of hope. As he who fights monsters spirals towards monsterhood of his own, allow for pet the dog moments where he shows signs that he still clings to his humanity and goodness. Focus on his dwindling comrades and followers and give reasons for the hope/affection/loyalty they feel towards him to seem justified. Let him reciprocate kindness. Let some of the consequences of his rampage be positives... innocent people are saved from the monsters he slays, and others are inspired to believe in bravery and heroism.

The balancing act will be difficult. This is all going to be very "season to taste." What some people will think of as a positive story about a protagonist who is only rendered more heroic by his flaws, others will find to be too relentlessly dark and depressing to bother with.

Sometimes, authors start telling a story not knowing how it will end. I don't think you'll be able to do that. You need to decide how this story concludes and what the message is at the end because you'll need to properly foreshadow it and set the tone beforehand and so on.

So does the protagonist learn that he hadn't *really* lost everything when, in the end, his quest for revenge destroys what was left to him?(that's the sort of story where you're probably not going to be able to avoid darkness induced apathy for at least some of your audience) Does he turn from the path of revenge for a happy ending at the last minute? Does suffering all the horrors of his quest and refusing to turn from it no matter the cost yield a victory of some kind? Does one of his friends step in, save him from his madness, and become the real hero of the piece(if so that is *definitely* something you need to start out knowing).

edited 1st Nov '16 7:53:02 PM by ThePaul

EDIT: Holy shit, twelve hours at work today. Okay, here goes.

He definitely has connections with his friends. He and Selvo hit it off from their first meeting, and for a while are Heterosexual Life-Partners. He and Tigris share an affectionate bond, understated though it is, and he confides in her. Note that they don't just abandon their own lives to follow him blindly, of course- both of them initially end up hanging around him because they don't have much going on in their lives.

I agree the Breather Episode every now and then is necessary, so they can spend time outside of the quest, drinking and singing and having a good time.

As far as kids are concerned, I admit I haven't thought much about that. He's not really the type to raise a family, even before his loved ones are killed. He and his girlfriend talked more about wandering and seeing the world.

He's a good guy to his friends, and isn't unpleasant to strangers. He is easily angered, however, and his friends occasionally witness harsh tirades from him when something reminds him of the demons and what they did to him. You're right, though, it's something I have to juggle with his constant internal anguish and bitterness. As for actually fighting the demons, he's a Combat Pragmatist, so no lopsided battles if he can help it.

He wins in the end, but because the antagonist is partially immortal (that is, he can be killed, but just resurrects instantly), he ends up in an And I Must Scream predicament rather than dead. After the final battle, Theign wanders aimlessly, unsure of what to do with his life, since the quest is all he's ever known. He doesn't know how to just live. Plus, all the horrors he witnessed (and committed) come crashing down on him, and he needs a way to cleanse himself and start over. To this end, he strikes out on another quest, hoping he can convince his friends to rejoin him, and it is there that the story ends.

Again, thank you everyone for the help thus far.

edited 2nd Nov '16 9:34:50 PM by BrainSewage