The Completely Indestructible Box

The Snack Waster 5000 shoots a blast of molten cheese at Random Writer 413.

"Well, Random, depending on who you choose to hit on, the fallout could range anywhere from harmless to catastrophic."

Finally, I have finished my first Superior Money Spider War Asset™: A handheld cannon that shoots high-velocity coins. I somehow manage to lift it despite being a spider made out of money.

Random'd turn, to notice two things. One: Giant glob of molten cheese. Two: a suspicious bunker.

Then, he'd dodge with bullet time, a small splash burning his foot.

Ryujin! We're under attack! Open fire!

So wait, where would Alice stand on that list-

Chianticat 10 now has a force field around him.

edited 30th Jun '16 1:50:58 PM by chianticat10

Arcada uses his godlike powers to turn Snack Waster 5000 into a tiny, absolutely normal sandwich with cheese.

edited 30th Jun '16 1:53:16 PM by arcada188

Chianticat 10 Disables his force field when he realizes he is not a target. Well... Here goes... -Disables the force field- -Keeps running to spot characters he likes.-

-I shot all of the bosses down after it took hours. I see Goku create a giant sandwich while Vegeta scoffs at Arcada and Goku. I created a huge pile of Turkey Bacon, steaming hot and super tasty.-

"Who wants some bacon before Goku and Vegeta steals it?!"

-I look at Majuub which he stands there, curiously looking around. I thought 'Oh crap.'. -

edited 30th Jun '16 2:01:32 PM by selfKaiHarness

"Hm, Alice? I'd say... mildly dangerous."

I fire my Money-Spender 5100™ (the previously mentioned coin cannon) in the direction from which the blob of molten cheese came.

The coin cannon hits an unremarkable cheese sandwich.

edited 30th Jun '16 3:26:30 PM by Jondanger23

Alrighty, here's my plan.

Step one, after getting every Touhou girl with immense powers on my side, we raze the bunker.

Step two, we use Sarda's rewrite reality to my whim spell.

Step three: profit!

"Wait, what day is it?"

Friday.

Any objections to my plan?

The spell rewrites reality according to Sarda's whim, and he's a colossal jackass.

Point taken, cross out step two.

Any objections about me getting every Touhou girl onto my side?

- I see Cirno being a baka to Terezi as the troll was unaffected by her ice powers. I laugh at her and she spoke japanese at me, talking trash about me. I didn't get it.-

"What? I can't understand japanese a lot! You idiot! Did you talk trash at me? Oh i am so going to kill you!"

Even in this box, it seems that Infinity can't escape Homestuck. Oh well.

Okay, everyone, I'm going to summon a wizard.

-I see the Time Patroller from XENOVERSE appear in the box. I see it looking at me, walking toward me to have a chat.-

"Can you talk bro? I don't think you can talk. Neither in the game i played."

-The guy looks at the others as he walked toward the group. He listened, but due to being mute, the whole time, he can only respond in nodding, shaking his head, hand gestures, and poses. He noticed Vriska in the distance, as she plans out a way to get out as easily. I hear Terezi giggling.-

"H 3 H 3 H 3 H 3 1 C 4 N SM 3 LL YOU."

-She looks toward the mute Time Patroller and sniffs a scent out of his clothing which he reacted curiously.-

"H 3 Y 4T L 34 ST YOU C 4 N T 4 LK R 1 GHT? YOU C 4 N'T? OH, TH 4 T'S R 3 LLY B 4 D. AT L 3 ST W3 M 33 T 34CH OTH 3 R."

.. Sure, summon the wizard.

Do it quickly-

Hi, I'm Sarda, and that makes me the wizard that did it!

On second thought we should probably just retcon the characters the other guy's summoning.

Maybe.

INVOKUM MERASMUS!

Merasmus the wizard is currently trying to find his forbidden book, and is unavailable at this time.

Dammit.

Here's an idea!

Gravity in the box flips for 30 seconds

Oh sh-

Random is sent flying, along with everyone else, likely.

-SPLAT-

...is what would happen, if this spider wasn't made of money.

Gravity is now normal.

O-

Random has splatted. Someone gather the macguffins!

-I refuse, and I decide to run back to find Bill-