The Alpha Blue Blues

"Accepted, we'll take the security doors AND the scanners," Saul said, he was desperate to purchase these items, without them they would be hard-pressed in keeping tabs on their security. The last thing he wanted was to see a dozen homicidal strippers hiding inside their ship.

He turned to SHIEC to give him a piece of his mind, "No pornography of any variety will be permitted inside the ship. Yes, that means no normal porn, no robot porn, no horse porn, and absolutely no tentacle porn. How does a holy man like me know all these? I was a teenager once you know. No amount of piety can resist the impulses of a foolish youth."

After an whiffing out an exasperated sigh, he continued speaking, "I say we buy at least 3 or 5 shock batons. Then we should consider buying heavy weapons like grenades, flash bangs, and other weapons that can temporarily stun/blind/confuse multiple enemies at once. We're heading for an entire sector of thugs. Alpha Blue is the kind of sector where you can't trust anyone but your own crew. Be ready to bail out any second when things suddenly turn for the worst."

A deep-seated fear that Saul held finally re-surfaced once again, he was really frightened to go to Alpha Blue. There was no telling what could happen, but if there was one thing that was certain was that they could all die. If he gangster he owed money to found him, he would die. If he went to Alpha Blue, he would die. The possibility of death was his greatest dilemma, and he believed that he was trapped inside a zero sum game which will result in him being horrendously tortured, mutilated, shot, stabbed, and shredded before finally dying a terrible death.

With all this in mind, Saul was ready to give an additional proposal to the team. He said this when he thought nobody else was around, "Besides borrowing money again... we could always try stealing it. I know a place to raid for credits, but we need to be heavily armed to pull this off."

Saul had connections with the criminal underworld, and he was aware of the different types of gangs that inhabited Beta Centa 2. He planned to steal from thieves, they weren't heavily armed but the payout wasn't that big either. This attack would be in the form of an ambush, where Saul would sneak in and would tell them to stay still when he had them cornered. His friends would watch his back and take the money while Saul would keep his gun trained on them.

Usually the neighborhoods that packed gangs were the least patrolled sectors of the city, since they tended to be dangerous. Even if Saul did kill a gangster, it would attract only temporary attention from the authorities before they threw the entire case overboard.

Saul thought it was good practice for his new crew. They looked like they never killed anyone before, and if they were going to Alpha Blue, they would have to kill someone eventually.

He put more thought into the raid, "Then again, we might need battle armor like the military use to protect ourselves from blaster fire and melee attacks."

edited 26th Apr '16 2:45:28 AM by Victor_Skye

"Hey, listen," said Bunny, trying to be comforting, "nobody's going to be burning you at the stake. If anything, that's your job, isn't it? And anyway, you're a part of the crew, and if the military taught me anything it was you don't let anyone get killed if you can help it. I may not be the most experienced person in the galaxy, but I know how to work a blaster and I can kick any ship I find into gear. And this robot kid here, he might be a bit sarcastic, but I think he's a nice guy. Anyway, he's a prophet, isn't he? That ought to be some kind of mark of purity or something. So don't worry, okay? We're not gonna let you down!"

To SHIEC, she said, "If they're gonna put a camera in my quarters, I'm gonna put something over it when I change. I don't mind you lookin' at me when I watch some videos or eat chips or whatever I'll be doing in there when I should be— I mean, when I'm not steering the ship, but I don't go in much for exhibitionism, right?"

edited 26th Apr '16 3:22:02 AM by spacealien

"They're not going to burn me at the stake," Saul was not convinced that luck was on his side, "They're going to shank me first for pennies then dump my body inside a dumpster!"

Bunny sighed. "Okay, but I really think you're gonna survive.It's just a kinda gross place with a bunch of kinda gross people. They're not like, the hoards of The Evil One, or the last desperate, gnawing vestiges of civilization, or anything. Just some people with the worldview of Nero and the moral qualms of, like, de Sade. With a bit of common sense, we'll live," she paused, then added, "Might also be helpful not to go in to hysterics."

The salesbot covers its audio receptors. "I did not hear any crimes being plotted here... I did not hear any crimes being plotted here..." it begins repeating to itself.

Space GM note: You will not find heavy weaponry for sale on Beta Centa. You know where you CAN go to buy heavy weapons? Alpha Blue. Also, until I'm told otherwise, I'm assuming you're in Sid's sales area where other people might come in at any time.

"Oh my God, that poor thing, he's gonna have a nervous breakdown," Bunny muttered. "Come, let's just get on already! There's no point in delaying it anymore than we already have!"

She was really getting antsy, and now was certainly not the time for anyone to be dying of cardiac arrest.

Realizing his idiotic mistake, Saul coughed a few times and said to the sales bot, "Of course you didn't hear any crimes being plotted. It seems that robots nowadays have a fertile imagination. Now, would you be a dear to us and let us buy 3 shock batons?"

The Templar was a man that was quick to resolve to violence due to his exposure to the savage beatings of the slum areas. Slowly, he accumulated an paranoia that is as unshakable as any formidable belief, and thus was wrought a mind that suspects the intentions of even the most innocent.

There are a few exceptions to his excessive fear of the unknown. The first is his loyalty to the people he associates with, for he has learned that if you can't trust your back to anyone then your back will always be stabbed. The second is his receptivity to humor, for he seeks the company of those people who can make him laugh at his own fears.

Between its chanting and the metal hands now covering its audio sensors, the salesbot can't hear you. You realize that a place that sells scrapped salvage and so - called - starships isn't likely to also stock shock batons. Your best options would be either a weapons store, a pawn store, or a military surplus store. Pawn store would be the cheapest but there's a chance the resulting products would be unreliable and the Military Surplus would have soldier grade shock batons (more powerful) but would be more expensive then civilian batons.

Saul opted to purchase military-grade shock batons so he headed straight for the Military Surplus Store. If he ran out of wise words to say to a hostile audience, then a swift beating is sure to resolve the situation at once. Nothing is more certain to stun a group of thugs than the tactic of shock and awe.

"Besides shock batons, do you have any other suggestions?" Saul asked as he walked towards the store.

Sergeant Savage Slaughter's Surplus is a large, fortified looking building with narrow slit windows and supposedly non-functional weapons mounted on the roof.

Entering the store you see a display stack of copies of "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries", racks of camouflage uniforms, and walls of military entrenching tools, camping gear, and weapons. A bored looking teenager, with a holo-tattoo on his cheek and several piercings studding his right ear, is working at the cash register. An eighty year old man, extremely fit with a shaved bald head, is standing in the middle of the store wearing a Federation Marine uniform and wearing a badge that consists of four interlinked S's.

Saul browsed through the items, taking a cursory glance at their inventory and wondered what he was needed to take to Alpha Blue. "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries" caught his eye and its hard won knowledge beckoned him to purchase it, for the book seemed to assault his fear of the unknown. To assess the quality of the book, he had to peek at some of the pages first.

He decided to distract himself by engaging in a conversation with the old man. "Hey, if you were going to Alpha Blue, what would you bring with you in this store?"

Saul opens the book open to a random page in the middle of the book.

Maxim 35:

That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.

[1]

Close set text underneath the maxim recount many battles where well-led troops have rallied after a sudden shock to win over their ambushers. Reading over the text, Saul feels calmer about facing an unknown future.

The old man frowns at you. "Alpha Blue, sir? Only been there once, as a young private soldier." The man strokes his chin, thinking. "If I was ten... fifteen years younger, I'd go with you myself, just to see if it was still as I remembered it. As for what I'd take..."

The man marches to the back of the store and comes back a few minutes, carrying two boxes. The bottom box is High-N-R-G Vitamin Supplements, the top box is one gross (144) military grade prophylactic condoms.

edited 28th Apr '16 11:29:21 PM by Nodrog

Bunny giggled behind her hand. "Thank you for your advice, sir," she said, taking the boxes, "but I don't know how much time we'll be able to spend taking in the sights. We're just going to buy supplies for our ship."

Still, one should be prepared for all possibilities.That was probably one of the maxims in that book. Never go into a sex dungeon without an adequate supply of contraceptives, even if you're just there to admire the architecture.

"I've seen a recent video of Alpha Blue, and it seems like it's been overrun with sex-crazed degenerates." Saul said to the old man, "What was it like in your time?"

"I was one of about a hundred teenage males, hopped up on combat stims and fresh out of basic training. We WERE the sex-crazed degenerates overrunning the place." the man says. He smiles. "What I can remember... I saw things that made me thank the gods I was born a heterosexual male, and things that made me weep at the depths of depravity I would never know for lack of being born with thirteen tentacles and a detachable tongue."

The man shakes his head and looks closer at Bunny. "Wait... you're going too miss? A nice girl like you?" He grabs Bunny and pulls her over to a corner where there's a display of full body heavy power armor. After Bunny explains she can't afford the ten thousand credit price tag on the powered armor, the man does looks for cheaper gear.

He finds a high heeled pair of knee high boots, each boot having a holster for a pink shock rod; a torso protecting body armor suit that looks like a one piece swimsuit, which has a clip for a white, round smoke grenade held at about where the back of the wearer's spine is; a two-way radio collar; and finally, a headband with two high gain directional microphones projecting up, allowing the wearer to be able to hear the faintest sound of danger.

Trying it on, Bunny might realize the outfit makes her look like a PlayboyBunny.

"Fitting," she said, "but practical! And I certainly won't stand out too much once we get there."

Of course, now she was more blatantly lagomorphic than ever. Though the sight of her massive artillery would probably deter any would-be punsters. Plus, the boots add a whole three inches to her height! Bunny has attained Level 1 Talltech: Can Reach Highest Shelf Standing on Just Two Gh'orkhsii-English Dictionaries.

She thanked the gentleman for his assistance. No way was anyone pulling the Angora wool over her eyes, now!

Saul stood dumbfounded for one moment looking at Bunny, shrugged his shoulders in the next, then asked the man behind the counter for any shock batons. He took the old man's suggestion and asked for the High-N-R-G Vitamin Supplements and the military grade prophylactic condoms.

"What's the price for them?" He asked the man behind the counter.

"I'm looking to either start a new religion in Alpha Blue or join one of them," Saul resumed his chat with the old soldier, "I'm not an austere man, but I find myself loathing an excessive presence of sin in a place."

The old man takes over for the teenager at the register and starts punching in keys. "That's the young lady's combat gear, one copy of the Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries, one crate condoms, one crate vitamin supplements, and three heavy shock batons. Total comes to two hundred and ninety-five credits." He looks at Saul. "Ah, a religious man, are you? I have something that might interest you."

The old man goes over to a locked cabinet, opens it, and takes out an old bible with metal covers. The front cover has a hole in it, which extends almost all the way to the back cover of the book. "Got this from the chaplain of my old unit. He carried this with him all the time, right up to the battle of Guataloopasnitch Hill. This bible stopped a blaster bolt aimed right at the chaplain's heart." The old man pauses, looking at the bible, then shrugs. "Shame, really, about the other three blaster bolts that went through his head. Still, for an extra five credits, I can throw this in with the rest of your purchases."

edited 29th Apr '16 11:51:45 PM by Nodrog

"I'll take it." Saul handed him the credits and the transaction was done.

"Hey, tell me what Alpha Blue was like in your time. You might be able to explain why it has the largest graveyard in outer space and why is it filled with all sorts of debauchery and crime. It sounds like space Shanghai."

===================

The story of the chaplain's outrageous misfortune reminded Saul of one of his own exploits in the Porete Sector where he traveled alongside a companion of his to scam the native population into offering gold to them while revering them as gods. Their technology level matched those of the humans in 500 BC. These simpletons were not even formally registered in the Sentient Species list yet, for some mysterious fool made a bureaucratic error that blot out an entire race's existence in the galactic database. It was either that or this "mistake" was reserved for a secret conspiracy to exploit the planet's resources and inhabitants to serve the conspirators' purposes.

Whatever reason this planet was made unknown to the general public, Saul and his friend decided to take advantage of the situation. So they boarded their own private vessel and set course for this planet in the hopes of getting rich. Duping entire species into worshiping star-traveling aliens as gods proved to be a lucrative trade in the far-flung past, and it remains to be profitable in the foreseeable future. Not only have men gained the unimaginable riches of an entire planet, they have also acquired power over people.

Everything seemed to go right for Saul and his friend. They landed safely near one of their tiny cities, and Saul, filled with vulgar humor, remarked that in an hour an entire nation would be sucking their cocks and kissing their asses. The moment they opened the hatch of their landing bay, a hail of stones descended on them like rain from a thunderstorm. Saul sealed the hatch immediately, and came to check on his friend, who turned out to be unhurt.

"Man, you look stoned."

"Shut your trap, you're lucky you didn't get hurt." Saul replied vehemently, there were bruises all over his body.

"I have the devil's luck with me, pal."

Just then, a rock that latched itself loosely from one of the corners of the ceiling fell straight down towards the poor man's head. Needless to say, the resulting impact crushed his cranium, and Saul found that his friend was not so lucky after all.

edited 30th Apr '16 5:53:11 AM by Victor_Skye

Saul buys the holey bible and other supplies. Your group has 350 credits remaining. Bunny's new outfit counts as light armor, reducing the damage from any attack that hits Bunny by 1 point. Saul's bible has 3 structure points that can be used one time to block an attack.

Curiosity got the better of Saul, so he tried to sift through the pages of the holey bible.

Bunny thanks the gentleman again and heads back to the ship. Now that everything was settled, it was about time to get going. She can't wait to push that ship as far as she'll go!

Flipping through the holey bible shows a pretty standard text, except of course for the blaster bolt passing through the pages.

Arriving at the ship, you find a young man with black hair arranged in a large afro, wearing a gold peace medallion with a ruby jewel in the middle of the medallion and a baby blue tuxedo with ruffles and a pink undershirt. He is of average height, but wearing a pair of large platform shoes. A pair of rose-colored glasses are perched on his nose, and an epee sword with a jeweled handle is at his waist. All in all, he looks pretty normal for an idle fop, probably one of the sons of the wealthy merchants or the nobility of this planet. Looking closer, you notices a few things at odd at this assessment. First, while the sword handle is jeweled, the grip the man is using is firm and precise; it is clear he could draw the sword an in instant. Second, looking closely at the lenses, you can see occasional flickers of data flashing across the glasses, constantly providing information for the wearer. The man steps forward. "Ah. I understand you lot are about to embark on a trip to Alpha Blue. There is a bit of business there I wish you to accomplish for me there. Perhaps we could discuss this in private?"

"I dunno. What sort of job were you thinking of?" Bunny asked. "And how much will you make it worth our time?"

She didn't trust this guy as far as she could throw him, to coin a phrase. Then again, maybe that was just her spotty military instincts popping up again. If one was to live a life of a seedy civilian mercenary, one must think like a seedy civilian mercenary. Where was that book when you needed it?

The man rubs the ruby in the center of the medalion. It glows for a moment, then begins projecting a holographic image. The hologram shows the man wearing a jumpsuit, in front of a 'GP' logo. "My name is Sebastian d'Fence, and I am an agent of the Galactic Patrol. Perhaps you've heard of us?"

Dice roll: 1, 1 Bunny, despite her time working for the Federation, has no specific knowledge of what the Galactic Patrol might be. Bunny grabs the book and opens it at random.

Maxim 64: An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire. 

The text under the maxim explains the advantage of small, highly focussed ammounts of force over wasteful shows of excessive force. Bunny fails to see any way this is relevant to the discussion.