If anyone thinks the original explanation makes sense or has another suggestion, please let me know.
I don't think that's stupid at all, but it does sound to me like it should be the last straw so to speak, or the symptom of a much grander and deeper problem. You can care about somebody, or think that you care about somebody, and still not see them as a person or respect them. You could even harm them while thinking that it's for their own good.
And if somebody voices what's hurt them, and everybody else in the world tells them that's stupid? That doesn't change their feelings and can even make the resentment worse, bad enough to want to estrange themselves (if, going by their feelings, they can't change themselves into what would be believable or acceptable to other people.) Jane might already feel that she's compromising just by still being in some sort of contact with her mother, so her significant other insisting that she must feel something in her heart and have a relationship that doesn't suit her, just to make him feel more comfortable...that's not cool, and can make things worse.
There are always going to be bleeding-heart readers who agree to Protagonist-Centered Morality so that even if you purposely write a petty reason, somebody will feel it deeply. There will be just as many readers who insist upon relationship bootstraps and tough love, who even in real life would insist that nobody should ever estrange themselves from a sexually abusive parent or an economically, verbally, emotionally, physically abusive and substance-addicted spouse. The best I would think can be managed is to allow Jane to be honest about her feelings, and act within the limitations that her feelings give her.
edited 14th Oct '15 8:26:03 AM by Faemonic
I didn't exactly mean that her being upset about her mother remarrying would be "stupid" for her to do so, but more that that being the sole cause of an extended row with her mother would make Jane seem really petty.
I want it to at least be implied that the conflict isn't so severe that Jane would never be willing to resolve it and perhaps make part of the conclusion of her arc taking the first steps to openly air her grievances with her mother and being able to move forward.
I guess that part of the issue could involve Jane's mother accidentally being insensitive and dismissive of Jane on some occasions. Also her mother went through the grieving process much faster than Jane did, so she wasn't very willing to discuss her wife's death when Jane wanted to.
Does that make any sense?
The Mod with the Migraine
I agree about having the marriage-argument be the last straw. But for ideas:
Mom disapproves of Jane's being a politician. Doesn't matter that she's helping the poor, or building the community, mom doesn't approve, and makes a point of bringing this up every conversation. (Or this could expand out to other parts of her life: taste in music, hobbies, life partner, whatever. Actually, disapproving of Jane's life partner and not mentioning her own relationship until a date is set would add a marvelous level of irony.)
Mom is always distant and uncaring. Maybe outright selfish. She doesn't listen to Jane's talk about her work or life, and mom only ever calls to brag (or give passive-aggressive put-downs).
Mom's a Cloud Cuckoo Lander, and just doesn't communicate well. Not to the point of "that person should probably be in an institution," but Mom's one of those people who just can't hold a normal conversation on any topic, let alone her own love life.
Turn it around, and make it that at the beginning, Mom didn't want to communicate with Jane. Maybe she just didn't handle being a widow/single parent well, maybe Jane reminds her too much of Mom B. Now, years later when Jane has taken over avoiding communication (thinking) that Mom doesn't want her, Mom has been trying to reach out to tell her.
Or there's always the old standby, Mom's abusive in some way - physical, emotional - and having gotten free, Jane doesn't want anything more to do with her, and yet can't wholly cut off her sole remaining parent.
That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw
One of the supporting characters from my work (let's call her "Jane" to make this easier to explain) is estranged from her mother. Not to the point that she refuses any contact with her, but there are tense feelings (especially coming from Jane's side) and they live far away from each other and she avoids contacting her as often as possible.
This isn't a major plot point, but it does come up when it's mentioned that her husband's mother abandoned his family when he was young and his father is dead (which leads to some implications that he's frustrated that she's pushing away a parent who cares about her when he literally has no option)and in other situations. But I've started to wonder 1. Why the hell does she have such an issue with her mother? which leads up to 2. What would be "acceptable" (ones that are believable to the audience and make sense for her character) reasons she would have an issue with her mother.
Here's some background on her character: She was raised by two mothers (let's refer to the mother in question as Mom A to avoid confusion) but due to a suddenly appearing economic issue in her hometown, she lived most of her childhood in poverty. This led to infectious disease making Jane very ill and killing Mom B, which greatly affected her as a young child. Jane grew up and left her hometown, eventually becoming a successful and well-off politician.
Originally I was going to have Mom A's remarriage much later in Jane's life lead to the conflict, having it have something to do with Jane feeling betrayed that her mother never let her know that she was even in a relationship before springing a wedding invitation on her, which personally seems kinda stupid to me now.
And to clarify before anyone makes a suggestion that wouldn't make sense for the setting
If anyone has any suggestions regarding this I'd very much appreciate it.