Asexuals and Aromantics Unite!

Hm, this thread hasn't stagnated yet. I'm glad.

It's three pages long now!

Yeah I don't like sex as showing the characters are in love either. Characters can only be in a romantic relationship if they have sex and having sex always means they are in love or they are using someone. I think the tying the two together is really alienating if you are asexual or aromantic, and might be why it's assumed everybody who is ace must also be aro and vice versa, not that there is anything wrong with being aroace just them being assumed as the default.

Very true. It's really important that sex not be implied to be the same as romance, but unfortunately a lot of media does this. I remember an episode of the Big Bang Theory where the main characters were making fun of Sheldon and Amy for not having a "real relationship" because they've never had sex, and the episode never depicted them as being, y'know, complete dillholes for having the audacity to claim something like that. I could be misremembering, but it is the Big Bang Theory, and I'm not expecting a very tasteful depiction of asexuality in that show.

Yeah no that probably happened they really don't have one. Yeah the distinction should be made clear but it never is. Because everybody needs both anyways right? I think that is the underlying idea behind it. I mean it's probably also because they haven't thought about anything different, I mean it's not like it's deliberate it just comes from the assumption that these things are necessary and anyone without one or both has something wrong with them.

You know what else I hate. Assuming anyone who prefers casual sex to a relationship is a bad person.

I mean, I'm not smooshing giblets with anyone any time soon, but if it's consensual on both parts, it's done safely and no one's being misled, I'm not going to judge anyone for their sex lives

Yeah exactly.

Peeps need to stop the aro hate. It's so prevalant and ties in very closely with this outdated idea of the good, pure, virgin woman (but us men cop no slack because double standards are a thing).

I could literally complain all day. And I plan to.

edited 29th Oct '15 11:23:50 PM by trashconverters

Yeah and it puts you into the position of rejecting guys with something obscure (or making something up) I mean I guess with the sort of guy who wants to date someone and keeps pressing after no is said you can legitimately reject for other reasons but ugh. Even if you don't have casual sex. But the whole slut-shaming thing doesn't help if you do want to do that because you are alloromantic so casual sex makes sense.

Sorry for killing the thread.

edited 1st Nov '15 10:57:23 AM by phantom1

So I was meme trash on tumblr and them I got 3000 notes...

edited 7th Nov '15 5:51:46 AM by trashconverters

Ignore this

edited 7th Nov '15 5:52:28 AM by trashconverters

Heh, would've been funny if you mentioned scented candles rather than cats

I'll make a post about candles eventually. I just haven't thought of a good enough one yet.

I don't know I like the cat thing too, but that is maybe because I'm to fond of my own cat who likes walking across keyboards. You could also go with the classic dragon one but I think that's been done.

That whole "asexuals are magical queer dragons who are immune to love and therefore immune to the dramas of life!!!" thing is bullshit, and has put me off dragons forever.

Tumblr itself has basically put me off dragons forever.

Tumblr's attitude to many things, asexuals included, annoys me so much. Then again, I don't actually have a tumblr, I just trawl the insane side of that site for laughs occasionally. I may be biased

edited 8th Nov '15 12:00:18 AM by Murataku

When I joined tumblr it was alright. I was a superwholock and they were a bit embarrassing but for 14 years old girls they were all mostly well behaved and everyone genuinely liked each other's company.

Now I find it really difficult to wade through the bullshit without wanting to throw myself off a bridge.

But its still so much easier to navigate, and there are some great artists and textfromblackbooks is a thing and I can't leave.

Well that's an interesting read from the dragon? Or we follow vastly different people, either is possible. I think being in a group where I mostly hear the drama second hand helps me to generally have a better take on it. Though the here is a post thing does make that harder. Mostly I just ignore it though.

edited 8th Nov '15 10:13:08 AM by phantom1

I'm thinking of deleting eventually. I just need to find another social network to waste my time on.

Tumblr is so patronizing to both asexuals and trans men, it's like I was with a fucking double whammy. Queer people are fucking people, not magical space beings or whatever. I feel like being queer is almost an aesthetic in and of itself on Tumblr.

Haven't found another prosperous ace community though, except for here it seems.

edited 8th Nov '15 5:26:27 PM by trashconverters

Have you tried this place? I'm not actually a member there, but I've poked around some and it seems nice. Seems to have some fairly active forums, too.

Yeah if you feel the people you are following are romanticizing that/ there is a general tendency to romanticize this stuff by all means unfollow a bunch of people or delete your account.

They're so hard to avoid. Especially transman targeted transphobia. And just the general hatred of men makes me dysphoric, especially when you realise they'd run to the aid of transmen if they got pissed (I've literally has someone say "I don't hate you, you aren't cis"...which is fucked up), so they don't really view you as male either way.

So I'll probably delete.

But at the same time...textsfromblackbooks. What a wonderful blog.

edited 8th Nov '15 5:42:53 PM by trashconverters

I dunno much about how tumblr accounts work, but is it possible at all to just sorta...keep away from the crazy side of things? Or is that easier said than done?

The problem is a lot of Melbourne's queer community (especially people my age) are those kinds of people, and then I feel compelled to add them on tumblr, and then they do the thing and it pisses me off and I can't unfollow them. It's kind of shitty, because I'm always worried about whether I'll find nice people or S Js at any given queer event.

Oh friends from real life thing, I guess you kind of mentioned that, well not real life but close to you. If everybody into Canadian politics was awful I'd have a problem too. Though that does mean it's possibly a problem that will carry on between platforms.