TO COLON HEAD OF DALLAS OFFICE COMMA SECRET SERVICE STOP
TIMINGS FOR MOTORCADE CHANGED STOP PLEASE CUT DEELEY PLAZA FROM ITINERARY STOP
Abe,
An actor in the dressing room is really going on about you, talking about the performance of a life time, and about the confederacy losing being a disgrace and a whole bunch of other weird comments, you should probably postpone your trip to the theater till he calms down a bit.
The management.
edited 2nd Sep '14 6:13:34 PM by SilentlyHonest
Crazy Awesome Personified
Quartermaster,
I would recommend that we bring a lot of food and warm clothing for our incursion into Russia. I would hate for history to think we were complete idiots.
Sincerely,
Napoleon Bonapart
edited 2nd Sep '14 7:29:43 PM by Surt
Party time!
my current job
Dear Archduke Ferdinand
There's much unrest in Sarajevo, with an assassination plot against you going on now. I think it would be a wise idea to postpone your meeting there until things have settled down.
Sincerely,
Bosnian representative
...eheh
Crazy Awesome Personified
Elvis,
The recommended dosage is *Numbers I can't be bothered to research*. Please stick to the recommended dosage, and do not use with alcohol. Thank you!
Sincerely,
Your doctor
Party time!Dear Arthur Percival,
Do not surrender. The Japanese are low on supplies too, and they want you to believe otherwise. We may be able to take this if we resist further.
Sincerely,
British spy from Singapore
edited 2nd Sep '14 7:44:01 PM by ironcommando
...eheh
The King Without a Kingdom
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
Welcome to the Lorraine Hotel. Please don't go out to the balcony tonight.
Lorraine Hotel Boss.
It's been 3000 years…Dear Arthur Percival,
The south is fortified, but I think you might want to improve Singapore's defences on the North in case of invasion.
Yours Sincerely,
Singaporean
...eheh
To Gen Bradley
I'm going to pull back before we get surrounded. Bastogne has no strategic significance, and if anybody orders me to stay I'll say 'Nuts' to them.
To Adolf Hitler,
There seems to have been an mistake when processing your application. You were in fact accepted but were sent a letter of rejection. We apologize for the confusion and look forward to seeing you at the academy.
edited 4th Sep '14 8:09:44 PM by SilentlyHonest
To chief of tribe Unbotano,
Don't trust the pale men on the boats, they're coming to capture you! If you see them do not greet them, do not fight, just run!
Former chief of the tribe once known as Katonuma.
Dear Chuichi Nagumo/Isoroku Yamamoto,
It may not be a good idea to attack the harbor on that nation across the Pacific. They're very powerful and turning them against us is not a good idea.
Yours sincerely,
Japanese Admiral.
edited 5th Sep '14 11:19:34 AM by ironcommando
...eheh
A nice butterfly
Dear Boss
My name is ______________ and yous can findz me in _______________ near Whitechapel
ur nevr goign too catch mes
xJack The Ripper
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes
To the Chauffeur of the Presidential escort,
We have reason to believe that there is some unrest in the area President Kennedy will be traversing through. We recommend a change in the route you will be taking. Also as a matter of personal opinion, don't take the convertible for Christs sake. It may be stylish but you have absolute visibility and we can only protect him so much.
Secret Service
Dear Heinrich
I was working late in the Reichstag tonight. I think I left a candle burning. Could you arrange someone to nip back and look. It would be terrible if there was an accident.
Yours
Adolf.