Police Cops: Unique Crimes Unit

7:39 AM

Santa Petersburg

"Oh Delilah, you won't believe the batch I cooked up today."

"Oh no, I'm sure they'll sell real well."

An old woman exited her car, and started walking to a dark building.

"I'm not worried, what's the worst that can happen?"

Suddenly, the building exploded. The woman was thrown back to the ground, and could only look on as bakers dozens of flaming doughnuts rained down from the fireball. With the speed of someone half her age, she bounded back into her car to avoid the deadly pastries. She spoke into the phone again. "Oh Delilah, they found out! They blew up my bakery! Send help!"

Police Cops

78th Precinct

The 78th Precinct was usually bustling with activity, and today was no exception. Detectives ran to and from various rooms. Cops of all kinds worked on filing very important paperwork. A man who ran the station's Twitter account was constantly refreshing, ready to pump out the wittiest jokes and retweet the most popular memes in order to make the service look hip and exciting.

However, for the men and women of the Unique Crimes Unit, they had something more important than kitten image macros to look forward to. The Chief had called them to the conference room to discuss a new case. A popular bakery had been targeted by an arsonist, and it was up to the UCU to find out why, how, and who had done it.

As the first few detectives filed in, a young man in thin glasses looked up from the desk in the room. "Please have a seat, the Chief will be in momentarily."

edited 31st Aug '14 6:24:53 PM by GIG

Mendoza went into the conference room, twirling his pistols around as he took a seat. "Okay chief, who's the pendejo we gotta kill today?"

He glanced around, and noticed a distinct lack of the chief. "Fine, fine, we gotta wait. Not like there's any crimes out there that need us now."

John staggered in, his thousand-yard gaze bloodshot from a 36-hours police procedural drama marathon.

"Pah, Sparky, stuff that cheek firmly up your culo. Back in my days, we stood ready! From sun-dawn to sun-set, from snow to rain to hail to blistering heat, we stood ready! We liked it that way! Well, wait, no, we don't. That's why we shot the bastard, who bloody well thought it's appropriate to eat chiffon and earl grey while the Gaul bays for blood? What were we talking about again?" Having well lost his train of thoughts, John sat down and began scanning the room for the Coppers' one true love: the doughnuts.

To say Misty wasn't ready would be a grave insult to that psychically unstable dog. She was born ready, nothing more, nothing less. True, she had much less missions as a member of UCU - whatever that meant, she had no clue - than an ordinary K9, but the intensity of these missions were making the whole waiting procedure well-worth it.

As of now she was circling around the room at a steady pace, just doing something to occupy herself with. Whenever she was called into this strange room there was a clear prohibition of doing anything else than moving around in a certain area and listening.

Sam sat down in a corner of the room, closed her eyes, and put in a pair of earbuds.

She crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair. It seemed like she honestly couldn't care less about what was going on around her.

She briefly looked around the room, staring into the eyes of each of her fellow detectives before closing them again, a smug grin manifesting itself at the corners of her mouth. Despite all this, she didn't make a single sound.

The sounds of Experimental Officer-001 could be heard before he entered the room, his gears churning as his legs moved his body forwards. With a movement that was seemingly as artificial as the robot itself, COP-BOT(!) entered the room and scanned it, the reports coming back on HUD inside his head.

• "Mendoza - Driver"
• "John J. Mc Johnson - Tactical Counter-Terrorist"
• "Misty - Attack Canine"
• "Sam Ross - AKA 'Six Knives'"

"GREETINGS, Officers!" The robot said with a mechanical voice.

There was, according to his records, at least one other officer was still absent other than the Chief, and COP-BOT(!) stepped aside to ensure that they would be able to enter without issue.

"Beep, beep, coming through." All of a sudden a scooter, well, scooted into the room, coming to a stop in front of the assistant. "You, make us a nice pot of tea like a good chap. Everyone knows you can't have biscuits without some good tea, so get going. Yes, away from all paper nonsense. Call the Chief while you're at it, and I might give you some crumbs if you're lucky." As always, Mrs. Honeypot and the scene itself looked absolutely ludicrous. Dressed like Santa, even though it was spring, the red uniform covered with green holly and mistletoe. Her walking stick accompanying the order to the young paperwork filer, the threat was laughable to those who didn't know of it's electric properties.

Fumbling around the sides of her mobility scooter once more, Mrs. Honeypot took out a packet of cookies, and a plastic plate, and emptied the packet onto the plate. Inevitably, some cookies spilt onto the paperwork of the young man, which Mrs. Honeypot left. Placing the plate on her lap, the great-grandmother zoomed around, offering the cookies to the detectives of the UCU, and a doggy biscuit to Misty.

Tom, who had bounded away to engage in a snarling match with the K-9, as per usual, was greatly offended at this and leaped into his Mistresses, almost roaring at the dog in contempt, and to show who owned Mrs. Honeypot.

edited 31st Aug '14 11:23:54 AM by Tricksen

Taking a little while longer to arrive to the meeting room than the rest, evidenced by the fact he was literally the last one to step in and he had a large Maquito Espresso with a double-shot of vanilla, Hershal Burns merely strode over to the wall opposite of the door and leaned his shoulder against it.

"Where's the Chief? Usually here before all of us, isn't he?"

Sam took the cookie.

"Thanks." She said abruptly without smiling before biting into it.

COP-BOT(!)'s head rotated with a metal 'whrr' to look towards Officer Burns at an unnatural angle, far more than a human would have been capable of achieving.

"I do not believe that is an ACCURATE or INACCURATE statement." The robot said in his mechanical voice.

edited 31st Aug '14 3:23:20 PM by TheSpaceJawa

The young man smiled as he started towards the kettle. "I would love to, Detective Honeypot. And Detective Burns, I wouldn't worry, she should be arriving," he looked down at his watch as he flicked the kettle on, "Now."

The door flew open as the Chief strode in. A woman tall in stature and stern in face, she walked up to the front of the room and faced the unit. "Good morning everyone, glad to see you all on short notice." She smiled at Honeypot and took a cookie. "If there are no questions, lets begin." She nodded at her assistant. "If you would, Blake."

The man smiled and nodded. "Very well." Blake turned on the projector in the room, causing an arial photo of an exploded building to come into view. "A little less than a half hour ago, the bakery known as Steph' Sweets caught flame and detonated. There are no injuries reported, but over several thousand dollars worth of baked goods were completely destroyed. Suspiciously, the owner, Steph Manhan, was nowhere to be seen at the time, and the call to us originated from across town." Blake turned to the Chief as she took over the briefing.

"While I would have just left this to the Arson unit, something doesn't feel right about this. As I'm sure a few of you know, the Bakery scene has been getting increasingly violent as of late. We've had reports of things such as slashed tires, broken windows, and even a few rolling pin fights. To me, this seems too suspicious for something like a gas leak or crazied arsonist." She looked over the unit. "If I'm right, then we might have a chance to nip this situation in the bud. Any questions before I hand out assignments?"

Sam pulled some folded-up papers out of her pocket, looking them over and raising her hand.

"Hey, Chief, I dunno if they told you this, but I apparently need a 'supervisor' on account of my...this is their words, not mine, but my 'criminal record and dangerous tendencies'."

Burns listened silently to the briefing, although the silence was questionable as his coffee-sipping was a little louder than one would assume. He didn't accept a cookie offered, as he suspected it to be in bad taste to the crime at hand. Once the Chief was finished he picked himself up away from the wall and raised his cup slightly.

"I take it the call came from a pay-phone, seeing you've got a position on where it came from. Do we know who it was that phoned it in?"

Might wanna change the time in the opening post, there; should be 8:04 AM, not PM. Or, 7:39 PM, not AM..

edited 31st Aug '14 6:13:17 PM by TruthHurts22

The Chief looked over the papers from Sam. "No doubt from the Prefectorial Government. Don't worry, I'm sure we have someone who can take the job." She turned to look at Burns. "You are correct. Came from a public terminal. Gave no names, but dispatch said it sounded like a woman, and she seemed absolutely terrified."

The brown-clad detective nodded slowly, staring down at the black lid of his cup and chewing his lip in thought. Eventually he took another small swig of it and spoke up again.

"Why? If it was a witness, they would've used a cellphone, or something closer to the scene. Who in their right mind would travel halfway across the city just to file an arson report?"

edited 31st Aug '14 7:02:09 PM by TruthHurts22

The Chief nodded. "Not only that, but even if someone went to that trouble of crossing town to do so, it would have been one of the later calls for us, not the exact first call." She pored herself a cup of the tea Blake had made and took a sip. "That's why I'm sending a couple of you over there to investigate. If the first call came from so far away, then that person was either involved or had information about the event, either way, that person might be the key to this case."

Taking another sip, she motioned to Blake, who began to speak. "Along with that, we'll need someone investigating the wreckage and the surrounding area itself. Finding the cause is top priority. Interview any witnesses you find and see if you can find any traces of the potential suspect. Additionally, we'll need another crew to find Ms. Manhan's whereabouts. She might know something about the case. Find out if she has any enemies or rivals that would go to such extreme lengths."

Finishing her tea, Chief tossed the cup aside and shrugged. "Maybe I'm wrong, and this all was for insurance or something else equally dumb. Either way, I need you people on top of your game."

"Someone blowing up a donut joint, huh?" Mendoza said, taking off his sunglasses as if to inspect them. "Sounds like a... sticky situation," he added, putting them back on.

"I'll take the factory," he stated. Things involving someone on a phone wasn't his cup of coffee, which left the owner and the factory. And only one of those was exploded.

COP-BOT(!)'s eyes flashed for a moment.

"Accessing data on SUBJECT: Ms. Manhan." the robot said, effectively stating his intention to begin searching for the individual if he wasn't assigned to another task.

"Witnesses, eh? I'm good with making people's talk- I'll take that." John said, sitting back. "Officer Sam Ross, why don't you come with me? I've heard of you- I can uses you if things get dicey."

"Alright with me." She said, shrugging. "That work for you, Chief?"

The detective sighed again and guzzled down the rest of his coffee. "I guess I'll head to the bakery, too. Would be a good time to grab a refill." To prove his point he tossed the now-empty cup over to the small trash can by the door, which proceeded to bounce off the rim and fall to the floor.

"Mind getting that for me, Blake?"

To Misty such debriefings were always the most boring part of the mission. She... wasn't really sure what humans - and robots - talked about then, but it was undeniably important. After that there were walking places to search for clues and apprehending criminals in that order.

Taking a biscuit from that lovely old lady with a wagging of a tail Misty began munching on the cookie while idly listening to all of this. That was the moment when people got organized into groups for more efficient work. Hearing as that one human constantly sipping something mentioned going to the bakery for clues Misty immediately gave a bark of approval as she moved to him. She was pretty good at sniffing clues out.

Not yet entirely used to having a carnivorous canine as a part of the team, Hershal nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden barking of the dog. Once realizing his shins were probably not going to get chewed up, he merely groaned. "Forgot about her...Someone should take the mutt on a hunt for the owner. Find something of her's at her house or something."