Social Anxiety/Being Different

Does anyone else on here have social anxiety disorder? Just wondering, because I do, and sometimes it really gets me down. Allow me to elaborate.

I've been on this website for a while, and I currently have a love-hate relationship with it. Some parts of it, like the Headscratchers pages mainly, are really fun to read because you learn interesting facts you wouldn't know about. But, I also think a lot of pages on this website leave a bad taste in my mouth, like the whole "Moral Guardian" thing.

And it's this that's made it hard for me to fit in here. Tonight, I've come to the forum section, seen all the packed threads and the generally bizarre and hyper personalities of the users here (I mean no harm in saying this) and, it's turned me off quite a lot. I'm not a hateful person, but I'm quite sensitive and perhaps over-offended by certain things. And that's due to social anxiety. Honestly, I am terrified of people in my age bracket; terrified of judgment, the possibility of being asked uncomfortable questions, or even being laughed at and bullied. I relate more to people aged in their 40s-70s because of this. I feel like an old man in a 21-year old's body.

Due to this, I made only a few friends in university because I could never relate to people, ever. And this occasionally made me very upset. I just couldn't get into the scene. I despise clubs, I hate drink/drugs and drug culture, I don't swear unless I need to, I'm not charismatic, I dislike black comedy and overly violent films, I have no interest in getting laid yet, the list goes on. Basically, almost everything that modern teenagers/young adults obsess over, I either don't care about or hate. So, I made hardly any friends out of the fear that if I revealed by interests to people, I'd be seen as some sort of freak and end up ignored. All due to being born with social anxiety disorder.

But at the same time, I wouldn't consider myself a nerd either. A lot of aspects of nerd culture really annoy me, because of how massively unsophisticated, immature and disturbing it often is. Don't get me wrong, I like certain video games, films, bands, etc. But even nerds are more outgoing than I am. Just look at how many people attend conventions.

In other words, I am a totally neutral guy. That's what I am - a person trapped in my own bubble. I don't seem to fit into any category of culture. I can't even relate very well with music fans, because despite music being my favourite thing of all, music fans can be venomous towards each other if their opinions conflict enough, and I've met very few people in real life who enjoy my favourite genre, progressive rock.

In real life, I'm generally a shy but warm, gentle person, and I can be witty. I may sound miserable, but I try not to be. I just consider myself to be very different to other people. I have no idea what it would be like to meet any of you guys in real life. I sometimes forget that there are actual living beings behind these usernames. You all seem so active, confident and full of beans, having not a care in the world, and that makes it hard to join in with discussion because I just feel so out of place. There are so many things that people on the Internet adore and obsess over that I just don't get. Like shipping for example. I can't for the life of me understand why so many people online (millions, it seems) actually care so much for fictional characters that they obsess and sometimes go to war over who they should be paired with.

So that's what this thread is for. I want to know if anyone else has struggled/is struggling with social anxiety, and/or being different. I want to know your stories, or if anyone else feels similar to how I do.

This is not a good topic for OTC. Let me direct you here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=kgpuujtb2vdxu4qdniq6mjto&page=1