How would a Conspiracy Theorist run a Conspiracy Organization?

This going to be a fun brainstorming session.

Basically, we've heard about conspiracy theories about how some tragedies are staged and faked so as to manipulate the public. Personally I say if these Grey/Lizards/Free Masons/U.S Government/Russian Government/Atlantians/Martians/Molemen are so mighty, why don't they just commit the real deal?

So what if a Conspiracy Theorist actually became the new leader of an Illuminati-like organization?

How would he or she run the place?

Does this character come up with absurd plans that miraculously work, or do the lieutenants have to ignore some parts of a plan and improvise a more conventional and practical solution?

edited 23rd Jul '14 10:08:29 PM by Worlder

The only way conspiracy theories work at all is if, in universe, the secret elites are much more effective and intelligent organizationally than the general public is, who are all stupid sheeple. The only way a conspiracy is needed is if the secret elites are so outnumbered by the stupid sheeple that they could get wiped out if the masquerade is revealed. It seems likely to me that the actual members of the conspiracy are all very strongly motivated to work together toward their common interests- they are very likely not highly hierarchical among themselves, but more of a decentralized brotherhood.

So I imagine something along the lines of the Second Foundation in Asimov's Foundation trilogy- they all understand one another exceptionally well, and their superior understanding of events allows them to fool the masses relatively easily. Once in place among the most powerful institutions, it might not actually be that hard to keep everything under their control.

I would insert members into each of societies most influential public institutions: not just the upper levels of the government, but also key industries like technology, energy and banking. Also the mass media. These wouldnt be the leaders of any of those institutions, but secondary "advisors" who operate below the public awareness, and who stick around regardless of who the current executive actually is. The Directors of HR, IT, Budget, and the like. They would get together among themselves and determine what the CEO is going to decide. They would have that person directly under their control through a combination of bribery and coercion. Meanwhile the employees, the customers, and the general public only believe what they are told.

edited 24th Jul '14 8:00:00 AM by demarquis

I think there's a lot of humor potential in a story where the conspiracy theorist assumes hir underlings in the conspiracy are capable of doing a lot more than they really are.

The conspiracy theorist, by his paranoid nature, would likely always be on edge about his plots being foiled or somebody higher than him being up to something.

Poorly?

I expect poorly would be how a conspiracy theorist would run a conspiracy organization.

edited 24th Jul '14 10:12:51 AM by Cyran

Agreed.

Conspiracy theorists are the type for whom everything either fits their preconceived worldview, or exists only as a lie. This is not the type of mindset that would be needed to run what must be a huge, sprawling bureaucracy.

Come to think of it, how the person would run it would depend on how the organization is structured in the first place. One thing's for sure, it's not staffed by humans. Getting everything to run in close cooperation, without conflict or power struggles, everything just as planned, would involve...how did Charlie Stross put it? Ah, yes.

(Emphasis mine, but you get the idea.)

So we have a conspiracy theorist who decides to act like the most absurd caricature of an Evil Mastermind and develop plans to fake a terrorist attack, fake an assassination, or dispersing chemical agents in a crop duster flying at 40,000 feet (i.e. chemtrails), followed up by unfeasible plans to cover up the initial plot.

The lieutenants then must devise a saner plan that actually involves efficient use of resources and if need be, real acts of terror.

edited 24th Jul '14 4:38:45 PM by Worlder

I suspect they might actually give him a sinecure job devoid of real power or responsibility, and then focus on actually trying to run the world.

"Trying" being the keyword here. xkcd puts it succinctly.

Speaking of conspiracy theorists, have you guys seen Weird Al's spoof of Lorde's "Royals"?

It's all kinds of awesome.

It seems I may have misread the OP.

So what would be an example of a plan that the conspiracy theorist propose to the The Omniscient Council of Vagueness?

A plan to spawn even more conspiracy theories?

edited 25th Jul '14 11:32:50 PM by Worlder

I'd imagine something like this.

Conspiracy theorist: All right, guys, let's make chemtrails a reality! Starting today, every airliner will dispense mind-altering chemicals in their flight!
Lieutenant: ...right, boss. There are a few aeronautical engineers and chemical-warfare experts who want to talk to you.

Cue six hours of technical experts patiently explaining why it's not feasible to fit airliners with chemical hoppers/why dumping something from 33kft is a bad way of delivering it en masse/why hiding the modifications won't be possible with all the plane-spotters/why those nice gentlemen from the Air Force have many angry words to say about the big heavy chemical tanks cutting into the performance of their jets...

edited 26th Jul '14 12:48:46 AM by SabresEdge

The lieutenants would probbably lead him or her down the garden path. While Baron Von Foilhat is foaming and clattering about things like breeding lizard people to insert them into positions of power around the globe, the lieutenants would be doing things like backing paramilitary juntas or arming revolutionaries to insert them into power. It'd be a lot easier to buy their loyalty with a crate or two full of AK-47s and a few former Soviet T-72 tanks complete with that new car smell and Corinithian leather seats than trying to somehow create viable human-reptilian offspring.