Fear of driving: How can I overcome it?

Well, all I can say is that you should give it a chance at some point, because you're artificially limiting what you can do without taking that step. Try it during off-peak hours, of course, so you don't have to merge into heavy traffic.

Yeah, honestly I would say find someone good to be in the car with you Thorn, and try doing it early in the morning or late at night during a time when traffic is super light. Even if there are no other cars on the road, it's good experience to merge on to the freeway and get used to speeding up and on to it.

So yeah, find an area where two offramps are very close to eachother, and just do a loop of getting onto and off of the freeway during a time when traffic is light.

I know. I just have to find that push. I don't really have a huge desire to drive.

I can't drive due to a combination of factors (I don't have good depth perception and my concentration lapses thanks to my CFS are downright dangerous on the road even without the added wrinkle of having to concentrate more to compensate for the depth issue).

This means I'm very, very limited in my life, as I'm dependant on others to get from A to B. You don't want to be that, Thorn. There's your desire, right there. <hugs>

edited 26th Aug '13 11:46:22 AM by Euodiachloris

Check your mirrors often and give them peripheral attention at all times, not just when you're planning on changing lanes. Being able to see something before it's in your blind spot is really important. As a general rule, have a good idea of everything around you and how the next 10 seconds are going to play out.

This doesn't necessarily mean anything. We've been pulled over and ticketed for speeding before, brought up that while we were going 5 over the limit, the rest of the traffic was going 15+, and the cop just shrugged and said "you pulled over when I turned on the flashers; they didn't." And then rather snidely told us to take it up with his state's traffic court.

Three hours later we got pulled over again under nearly identical circumstances for impeding traffic (we were in the slow lane, and the fast lane was not crowded).

To this day I get the impression out-of-state plates are targeted for tickets, because nobody wants to take time out of their vacation to schedule and argue a ticket in a state they weren't planning to stop in. Between that and some of the pullovers I saw during college, I retain a rather dismal default outlook on traffic cops.

edited 26th Aug '13 12:52:19 PM by Pykrete

I've only been pulled over for speeding once, when I passed a police officer in the rain when I was the only car in sight on the highway. Kind of blatant, that. I was young, tired from a long trip (4 hour haul from Virginia Tech), and by the time I saw the cop I was already dead to rights.

I got pulled over once for doing 95 on 95. :D

There is a lot of good thoughts on this thread. Driving is pretty safe once you get used to it. Start on rural roads and work up to the larger ones.

I'd say try and find a quiet suburban area and practice there. Rural roads may not be the best bet if you're not yet comfortable enough to drive at, say, over 50 mph.

I will say that if you're having problems with gear changes and you can arrange it, don't be afraid to practice in something with an automatic transmission. Speaking from experience, being able to stick the damn thing in drive and concentrate on steering, signalling and other traffic without having to worry about going up and down gears is something of a relief. You can always go back to a manual when you're more comfortable with operating a car in general and being on the road.

As others have said, start on quiet roads, suburban back streets would be my choice over rural roads. If the instructor is yelling at you... get a better instructor.

I will say that I too put of getting my license for a while. I was able to get everywhere I needed to go via public transport and didn't really feel the need to get my license. When I did though it turned out to be a rather liberating experience. I was no longer bound to bus and train timetables (well not always. I still use them for some places, but that's due to lack of parking) and I wound up getting places faster since I didn't have to make transfers. Even for closer stuff its easier. You can just head out to the shops if you need to pick something up rather than having someone drive you.

I have been in that exact same place. Even have an anecdote where my mom came in while I was playing GTA and she asks why I can drive so well in a videogame but not with a real car.

Unfortunately the only real advice I can give is the same as everyone else in the thread: you get better and more comfortable with driving by driving. If you need a reason to get out and drive (y'know, beside practice) you can treat driving like a meditative experience. Just wander around nearby back roads to build up a vehicular mental map, listen to the radio if you want it on or pay close attention to the engine and good working order sounds your car makes if you don't, and just focus on the here and now (which you should be doing when driving anyway). It's a good way to make driving feel like a stress-free activity as you build those kinds of associations.

Every other important thing to remember while driving comes much more readily when you feel calm behind the wheel.

Lots of good suggestions here, but a couple I don't think are quite so good (as someone with 40 years of driving experience under her wheels):

• King Zeal said
  Drive slightly slower than the car in front of you at all times, while maintaining optimal car lengths of distance. This make sure that the distance between you is always increasing rather than narrowing so that if you need to stop suddenly, you can safely.

No. Don't do this. Find the speed you're comfortable at, and establish a safe following distance between you and the car ahead of you. Then keep that distance. Do not drift back by driving slightly slower than them. Traffic tends to travel at a fairly consistent speed, and drifting back like that means that you are also going slower than the rest of the traffic on the road. While you're opening up the distance between you and the car in front and feeling safe, you're closing the distance between you and the car behind you, slowly and insidiously. If you're too close to stop safely without drifting back, you're following too closely in the first place.

Also, several people suggested using suburban areas and neighborhoods to practice. That's a fairly good idea, but industrial parks and office parks are even better places to start, because you don't have cars parked on the sides of the roads, and there's far less chance of kids (or pets) being out playing and possibly running into the street.

Very good point with the children and pets. They shouldn't run across the street, but you never know when one of them will suddenly want a Darwin award...

Children aren't eligible for Darwin Awards.

@Knight of Lsama: I don't think it's possible to get a car with a manual transmission anymore, except by request and only on high end models. Stick shifts are almost literally a thing of the past.

Huh? I don't think I've ever even been inside an automatic.

Edit - wait, no it isn't. Brainfart moment.

edited 26th Aug '13 4:43:29 PM by TheBatPencil

Well I was kinda kidding with the Darwin award, I don't think pets nor children can consciously decide to get the award.

Also, manual thing of the past? Really? I thought they were pretty popular in Europe?

At the very least, I know my brother has a manual car (2009).

You can still get a manual, but it's an added-cost option on any American-badged car. In the used car market, you're more likely to find them in sports cars and performance cars, and the bigger pick-up trucks (the ones people actually use as work trucks)

edited 26th Aug '13 5:03:51 PM by Madrugada

Are dirt roads risky? for learning.

edited 26th Aug '13 6:41:15 PM by SmytheOrdo

Not really, just drive slow. You should always drive slow on a dirt road, unless you're in a vehicle that is capable of comfortably working in off-road sort of conditions at higher speeds.

Than parking lot of my chruch it is.

What? If you're driving the same speed as the car ahead of you, and that car suddenly changes speed, you have to brake harder and faster than if you were SLIGHTLY under what they were. If you're a billion car lengths away, then yeah, you can probably speed up a scootch. But if you're at the optimal car length, you lose nothing by moving SLIGHTLY slower.

Further, if the car behind you is steadily creeping up on you to dangerous levels, that means they're not paying attention. And if not, you need damn to make damn sure you have enough distance between you and the car ahead because getting rearended by itself is better than being hit on both ends.

If everyone goes slower than the person in front of them, traffic slows to a halt. You want to keep up the flow of traffic. That means driving at a speed consistent with the speed limit and with how fast other drivers are going.

On multi-lane roads, slower traffic should yield the left lane to faster traffic, but should still maintain a minimum speed. One of the worst frustrations on the road is getting into a traffic jam caused by someone driving too slowly.

I just speed up a little faster, and then when I'm at around the distance I want to the car in front of me I try to keep pace with them.

Get the distance you want, and speed up or slow down with gentle touches to maintain your interval. I'm not saying crank the gas to catch up and use the break to slow down so you don't hit them, but get to your distance, and then just ease up on the gas until you're going just about the same speed, perhaps 2-3 mph slower. Then if you start to lag a bit, give it a little bit of gas until you're back in the spot you want.

Also, once again making my PSA as an Los Angeleno, if you aren't going to go the speed limit or slightly faster, GTFO of the fast lane. The speed limit applies to the entire freeway, so if you plan on going 20 miles under, be in the slow lane. The rule of thumb for much of LA traffic is that the fast lane is for around 75-85 MPH, the middle lane is usually going around 65-70, and the slow lane is for anyone going under 60 just about.

A good sized majority of Angeleno's drive in the fast lane until we're a few miles from our exit. I have to say that all the "Oh man that's as shitty as LA Traffic!" jokes are probably from people who aren't from here who drive the speed limit in the fast lane. Having probably spent cumulative years on the LA freeways, a lot of it stuck in traffic, shitty traffic is going to either be caused by A: An Accident. B: Someone driving slow as hell in the fast lane, which requires all of us who use it to pass them or C: The slow dude in the fast lane caused the accident because of someone who suddenly had to slow way the hell down to change lanes and get around the slow guy.

I just wish I had a paintball gun in my car or something so I could mark the crap out of dudes with Oregon or Washington plates going 65 in the fast lane. That's what causes shitty traffic here.

edited 26th Aug '13 8:07:56 PM by Barkey

The potential problem of a traffic jam caused by steadily decreasing speed is irrelevant because the more cars you have within a single lane, the slower traffic will become anyway. It is impossible to increase the volume of cars and maintain speed. Driving in city on rush hour demonstrates it pretty handily.

If traffic is already moving at, or above the speed limit, then there is obviously either no one in front of the lead car or the lead car is moving excessively fast. You would need a high number of cars in a single lane for the decreasing speed to be noticeable, but the increased amount of traffic will already make the speed much slower.

This. Exactly what Barkey said.

edited 26th Aug '13 8:07:16 PM by KingZeal

Oh... How do you know which lane is the fast lane?

It's the lane furthest to the left. From left to right is fastest to slowest. The middle lanes are supposed to be for passing, though people who want to drive right around the actual speed limit tend to hang out there, which is usually fine. If you don't want to go past the speed limit, but don't want to be dragging ass behind a semi-truck, the middle lane is a good choice.