First Person, Presen tense perspective for a fanfic?

Hello, I've been working on a simple Pokemon fanfic but I fear that my perspective distracts from the story. Would anyone care to read through a brief pilot I've published. it's one a single chapter on FF.net with less than 3,500 words. Here is the link,

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9352775/1/Celadon-City-Trainer

I'm not whoring for Reviews. My goal is to write a truly awesome fanfic. Please accept my gratitude in advance as your input will be a terrific boon to my efforts.

First person with present tense isn't that unusual. I don't see it much in fanfics, but I've seen it several times in books. I wouldn't worry about it.

edited 2nd Jun '13 9:27:22 PM by SapphireBlue