Dwarf Fortress Succession Game III:Jawmetal

Agreed. Most of the babies will not survive, but those who do will go on to make up for their useless years by wiping out entire armies in seconds.

Hmm. Quite the pagetopper.

edited 14th Nov '13 5:32:39 PM by Ringsea

Project Dwarven Warrior Assault Force will begin with intense child/baby vs naked captives and wild animals in a doom pit.

If any of you dakka sucking sods takes my plan I will throw you to the vampire. Even you golden throne boy. GLORY WILL BE MINE!

edited 14th Nov '13 6:11:05 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Fortress-born Dwarves don't grow to adult size . . .

-Pictures an army of mini-mes slaughtering goblins with crotch shots-

Well, I am afraid I am going to have to pass up on this. :( I have attempted to download the save around thirty times but it has only ever gotten around half of it downloaded, before the download dies due to my abysmal internet.

para: That is a bummer. Hopefully you get things sorted out for a future run.

Well folks this means that Tuefel will be taking over. Once I get home from work I will DL the most recent save, open it, and see what we have going.

PDWAF begins now.

Okay, you create the PDWAF.

When it comes around to my turn, I'll create the Dwarven Drop Pods for them. :)

Indeed. I hope we have some ready captives for the trials.

You better not deploy my parachutes early.

On a completely unrelated topic, has anybody created a working elevator yet? I kinda want to try my hand at building URIST Unit 0.

I don't think so. There was an attempt to create a downward only one by dropping the dwarves on puppies or something like that, but it just ended in death for all involved.

If only we could get something done with bits of track.

I have the save and am working on cleaning it up.

The Map is filthy, cleaned all, clean owned, stripping prisoners of stuff, the sheer amount of shit from the invasions is enormous. Burning a lot of invader crap. We have a catsplosion underway. Our population is the least of our frame rate problems.

Ok ended that stupid pathing up to the top of the volcano fro trash and instead just opened a pit over the lava channel that feeds the forges and made a trash drop room.

The sheer number of worn clothing shit has been added to the dump. The set a lot of things to be melted. Lots of animals are going to die.

edited 17th Nov '13 1:45:33 PM by TuefelHundenIV

May I suggest selling everything with an (x) or (X), melting everything that can be melted, and caging the cats? I am going to need those cats for my ODST (Orbital Dwarf Shock Troopers)

Yeah no the cats are going to die.

You ninjad me but I just got done sorting out a stupid pathing for dump to the volcano top and designated over 2k bits of clothes alone to the lava tube dump.

edited 17th Nov '13 1:48:38 PM by TuefelHundenIV

If you absolutely *have* to kill the babies, would you mind constructing an elaborate device to slowly feed their souls to the IMPERATOR (filling THRONE with lever-operated upright spears and throwing them in, or some such)? Sticking my dorf on the IMPERATOR on life support (e.g. turned into a vampire with all bones broken or some such) is probably hard to arrange, but I'll take what I can get (you could charge the "batteries" ahead of time, if nothing else). Also, my dorf's children are certainly destinied to be great warriors, even if half of them will join the clowns...

I may or may not have some plans regarding humanoid sacrifice to the IMPERATOR for my next turn...

It is going to take a while with the current frame rate to load up the incinerator with the junk and garbage of the fort much less get around to having actual fun. But it has to be done.

We have a population of 255 dwarves that is a lot of trash.

"Sorry, kids. We're not going to be able to drop you screaming onto the battlefield from four z-Levels up to land on a pile of kittens and half-trained crocodiles."

"Awww, why not?"

"Because Uncle Tuefel is a mean old man who doesn't love Fun."

"Stupid mean old Uncle Tuefel!"

That's right Uncle Tuefel is a cruel man. Suffer the little children though.

I just had the military wipe out an elven caravan. It happened to the hammer squad who led the charge. As I was watching in motion. I see a spray of what looks like little z's. I checked and sure enough one of the troops had just literally knocked all the teeth out of one of the donkeys.

The furthest a tooth flew was 11 squares away.

edited 17th Nov '13 2:38:09 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Fucking hell. Poor donkey. He could have at least gave it a quick death, but he just bashed his fucking teeth out.

And I had to put down a berserk dwarf and about half the fort is now very upset.

Whoever snuggle squid is just went berserk.

Here comes the spiral.

edited 17th Nov '13 4:15:45 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Kill the angry half. Problem solved. Throw the angry half at the siege.

edited 17th Nov '13 4:22:19 PM by Ringsea

And suddenly siege.

64 goblin Army led by a general.

edited 17th Nov '13 4:22:16 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Lol holy shit. I sent out the three ten man squads and there is just blood and body parts everywhere. Now while I was looking a layer up letting the game roll on I see sprays of teeth from the layer below. The Hammer dwarves are literally knocking the teeth out of the goblins heads.

Ok we just destroyed the entire siege with the squads and captured a few alive including their general. Siege over Gobo bitches.

edited 17th Nov '13 4:42:59 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Betcha wish you had an entire fortress of half-trained cross eyed crossbowdwarves about now, doncha?

...or not. I forgot that we have an army of terrifying terror-dwarves.

edited 17th Nov '13 4:30:52 PM by Condorito