Equestria Girls: A MLP:FiM Spin Off

For G1 MLP fans, did anyone else notice Megan? A girl who looks like her appears near Rainbow Dash when she's in line for the roller coaster and Applejack asks Rainbow where Fluttershy is.

I saw someone uploaded the movie to youtube... in 48 one minute long parts. A bit excessive.

Also, I noticed Sunset Shimmer's outfit in the intro now has actual spikes on the shoulders. She seems to get more metal with every movie.

Edited by Redmess on Jul 7th 2018 at 11:12:47 AM

Well, then, lets do a review.

Equestria Girls: Roller Coaster of Friendship (spoilers)

Sunset Shimmer has golden spikes on her leather jacket now. I can't remember if she had those before, but that sure is very metal.

Vignette Valencia seems an interesting new character, and will probably be a foil for Rarity, at least.

The old costume designer quits out of frustration, and I'm not sure how to take this. Are we supposed to side with one over the other? Valencia may be a demanding boss, but is that enough of a reason to quit? I feel like this is meant as a characterization moment, but its not clear just what that is supposed to be.

"Where am I gonna find a new costume designer for the Light Parade with only two weeks left? I'm not promoting you." That's probably her characterization moment right there. Lets ignore the myriad of valid reasons she COULD have for this: in storytelling land, this means "bad person".

"If only I could put a filter on real life to make everything the way I want it." And then Equestrian magic comes along and turns her phone sticker from wholesome into something... metal? Goth? I don't know. The implication is, its bad. And her phone uploads actual things and replaces them with holographic duplicates.

Is this how stuff happens now in EQG? Someone makes an offhand wish, and some random whiff of magic makes it come true, and it leads to villainy? Equestrian magic infecting people and corrupting them into evil monsters is becoming a rather large cliche for the series at this point. Lets hope it does not spoil the latest "villain", who I rather like so far.

So the theme for today's movie is... vapid internet celebreties on Not Snap Chat. This well has probably been well plumbed at this point, and can hardly be counted as fresh criticism anymore. Also, it comes with a sudden obsession with cell phones by everyone in the cast, similar to how everyone suddenly could play an instrument really well in Rainbow Rocks. It has a bit of Fleeting Passionate Hobbies about it.

Pinkie gets told that applying for a summer job at a theme park means getting paid to go there and squees. Calm down, Pinkie, you didn't even apply. YOU are not getting paid here.

Applejack applies for an apple themed job, because OF COURSE she does. That girl has a bit of an obsession with apples. Not every job you get needs to involve a piece of fruit related to your pony butt tattoo, Applejack!

Yep, theres definitely Rarijack shipping going on, here. Its pretty clear from the start that the episode is really all about these two, and the other five are just set dressing.

"Technically, Rarity didn't get the job either, since she got a different job." She talks just like Mud Briar. Maybe he was a classmate at the other school. Seems like the perfect place to create such a character, honestly.

"... so they're probably about to send you another email with your promotion." Given that they didn't do that with Rarity, that is blatantly false, Glasses Twilight.

Stinky Bottom's Hat Emporium? Who names their store like that? And who shops there? Raise your standards, Applejack.

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen Rarity this desperately, pleadingly generous. She's putting a brave face on for Applejack, but her body language is clearly pleading to let her have this job regardless.

"I probably shouldn't have quit my old job this morning, huh?" Applejack just broke rule number 1 of job seeking: don't quit your old job until you are sure of your new one.

Snap Gab, guys! Teens are obsessed with it! Followers! Meaninugless pictures! We're SO topical, you guys!

"Not a... Caramel Apple Girl. I don't even know why you applied for a job like that, not with a Snap Gab feed like yours." I know this is supposed to show Valencia as being shallow and unkind, but she does have a point, here. This is clearly NOT the kind of job a fashionista like Rarity would gravitate towards, and of course her social media profile would reflect that. Of course Valencia does not know Rarity did that as a special favor for Applejack (unspoken, but obviously the case), but we can hardly blame Valencia for not knowing.

I find it hilarious how Valencia has quarantained the table where her phone was bewitched. Just in case. Very sensible, actually, if you think about it. Rarity just nods and smiles and clearly thinks nothing of it.

Applejack is doing thankless apple-related farm work, I suppose to contrast with her job she didn't get. But... who in their right mind makes applesauce by stamping on apples? That's how you make WINE, not applesauce. You simply make applesauce by cooking apples until they become mush. There's a little more to it, but that's the gist of it. There's no silly stomping around in a big vat of apples involved whatsoever.

It IS a way of making apple CIDER, though. Clearly that was what the writers were going for. But why the Frothy Mugs of Water approach here, when the main series was perfectly fine showing the Apples selling cider? Especially since there is such a thing as non-alcoholic cider. It feels like the writers were overly cautious of the filter, here.

A nice little detail: the Apple barn has apple themed stained glass upper windows. Nice touch.

"Oh, good. I'm so happy for you." "And I'm happy for you in YOUR new job too." All this said while whistfully looking at each other's Split-Screen Phone Call window. I'd say the shipping is pretty open right about now.

And really, this ship might just work for EQG. As someone already noted, the characters don't have any of the animosity towards each other their pony counterparts do, and they seem to be genuine friends in this show, instead of Vitriolic Best Buds. It makes for much healthier shipping, if nothing else.

Nice theme park, but, uh, I don't think that ferris wheel can turn with those huge hot air balloons. If you look closely, you can even see them overlap. Also, if your haunted mansion causes people to run off in terror, you've probably overdone it.

Applejack is trying to be all humble about not taking the job because she would be all alone without her friends. Or is this a quiet jab at Rarity taking the job after all?

"Which character's that." That would be the villain of this movie, Applejack.

Wow. Pinkie is snubbing Applejack about not being active enough on Snap Gab to know about Valencia. That aside, how HASN'T Applejack heard about Valencia by now? If not from casual conversation, especially with a motor mouth like Pinkie, then right after Rarity got that job working for that very person? This sounds like something that would have come up, especially between those two.

"Don't look at me, I only follow blogs that post interesting science facts!" Thank you, Glasses Twilight! I'm glad Applejack isn't singled out as being an "abnormal" social media user because she isn't doing the hip teen stuff.

It's interesting, by the way, how clearly this movie is pandering to teenagers, rather than young girls in general, in a way that the pony side of the show rarely ever does. There's the stray teen pop idol, but not all that much teen culture in general. But then, this high school spin off feels more aimed at teenagers anyway, I guess.

Applejack is channeling the crotchety older generation who just doesn't "get" all this teen stuff, with their pointless updates and their memes and their "likes". And I get the feeling that there's a writer somewhere doing the channeling here. This is basically the gist of this sort of criticism of modern teen culture: "its vapid and pointless and I just don't understand why anyone would even like this." And its rather overdone at this point. This is why I mentioned that this well has run a bit dry at this point: the complaint about the cliche of vapid teens doing vapid things on their vapid phones and internets has, itself, become a cliche. And of course its the age old song and dance of the older generation somehow unable to understand teenagers, like they have never been a teenager themselves.

And trying to portray someone as villainous because she has a large following on a social media platform for non-traditionally-approved reasons is getting really old by now.

"You know Vignette Valencia?" How do you NOT know her, Applejack? Rarity is directly working for her. How in Equestria has this not come up before?

Rarity goes for the very European kiss on both cheeks. For an American audience, this must be like shipping gold. Applejack's shocked look, and the faces she pulls after the selfie, just about confirms it: this is basically treated as her lover suddenly finding a new flame.

I am not sure what emotions Flutters and Sci Twi are conveying here. They both look kinda awkward, and Flutters has the tiniest smile, like she realizes EXACTLY what this looks like. And to make it complete, after the selfie, she makes an O face and puts her hand over her mouth. I think Flutters is totally in on the shippy subtext here.

"I told you not to use the B-word [boss]. I'm your... friend. Who gets to pass you around." Wow, so much subtext to unpack here, all in three short sentences. First, there's the boss-who-seems-uncomfortable-assuming-leadership part, which possibly does not speak well to her managerial qualities, but I guess is not too uncommon in small businesses. There's a difference between a boss being friendly with you, and a boss who wants to BE your friend instead of your boss. The latter can lead to problems on the work floor: its awkward to have to discipline your friends on work related things, after all.

Then there's the delay before she says "friend", which clearly implies she was thinking of something very different before settling on friend. Given the previous scene, the obvious answer seems to be girlfriend.

And in light of the second point, the "passing you around" bit becomes a VERY suggestive Double Entendre. This goes right into treating your girlfriend like an object that can be freely passed around amongst your friends. That should probably be a big red flag in a relationship, yes?

Is... is this what this movie really is about? Rarity getting a date with an abusive girlfriend, and getting jealous of her? The subtext is intriguing so far. Lets see where the rest of the episode takes us.

Wow. Wow. Rarity TOTALLY snubbed Applejack by not listing her as a friend and conspiciously standing in front of her. Rarity clearly does not want her new flame boss to know about her ex Applejack. I'm not even sure how to explain this without the subtext. She lists all her other friends in the right order, so she's clearly aware of them. Applejack was talking before, so she was clearly present to Rarity. And yet, Rarity blithely snubs her in the role-call of her friends here. Unless there is a very good reason, I'd say that this is a rather forced bit of drama. Rarity would NOT just skip what is clearly her best friend out of her best friends without very good reason. Especially not the Rarity who not five minutes earlier was very painfully trying to reject her job offer for the sake of Applejack. This is pretty much Out of Character for Rarity.

Ooh, Valencia is not particularly interested in the friends group of her employee, and sees their Band of Friendship Songs in terms of marketing opportunities! She must be eeeeviiiil. Yeah, I'm not buying it. Neither of these things make you evil. The latter makes her a good marketing strategist, if anything.

Also, another villain antagonist who is rather touchy with the heroes.

So, she was selling melted crayons as mascara? Is this evil? I have no clue. The internet tells me crayons are made from paraffin wax, and you could use it safely as makeup, if you so desired. Again, not sure what to make of this.

A Blink And Youll Miss It moment: Valencia's likes only include Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, and Sunshim. This is probably supposed to be significant, but Pinkie already noted that Applejack never bothers to log on, so of course she's not on there, and Twilight only follows science stuff. Not sure why Flutters isn't on there. She gives six likes out loud, though, with the last in line being Applejack, so its implied she's the only one not getting a like. Like with Rarity, I cannot see why Valencia is so inexplicably and obviously snubbing Applejack. The only reason I can see, again, is from a shipping subtext where she is snubbing Rarity's ex-girlfriend. But since that is only subtext, the text itself does not really provide any reason at all. Valencia just ignores Applejack for no good reason here. Or, perhaps, with the subconscious cue given by Rarity earlier by not initially including Applejack, we should not be surprised that Valencia subsequently does not feel Applejack really belongs to the group. It is, as with Rarity, enforced drama that does not properly flow from the characters or events.

And again, Applejack has shown barely concealed hostility towards Valencia pretty much from first sight. Can you blame her for NOT liking her on Snap Gab?

... Oh my gosh, Valencia leaves with a touch to Rarity's shoulder, and Rarity actually blushes with the most lovestruck expression on her face. The shipping is very strong with this episode. And again, the looks the others give here are telling: THEY know, too.

And again, Rarity snubs Applejack by ignoring her "oh, its nuthing" moment. You'd think a socially sensitive person like Rarity would pick up on the underlying message and not just blithely walk away. Hell, even an autist like me could pick that up. Another Out of Character moment for Rares.

Why is Rainbow Dash not going on the roller coaster? Is this a joke referring to the Viva Las Pegasus episode? Probably. Its also nice she is keeping Flutters company. She even suffers the super slow kiddie roller coaster for her. Another shipping moment?

Hey, guys, remember that episode where Rarity insisted on running her shop all by herself and refused to delegate work to others? Well, this movie is fixing that. It shows perfectly how Rarity can delegate work to others without doing injustice to her personal touch. Its a neat little demonstration of how talented people can delegate work without sacrificing their vision, a message some Rarity-shop centred episodes have missed out on somewhat.

She is starting to crack a little under the pressure, though. Sweatshop Rarity is starting to rear her head again.

I think we are supposed to sympathize with Applejack here, but really, Rarity's job IS very demanding, and Applejack inisted on her taking it, so she has no right to act so sour about it, I think. And its only a one time job, after all.

Wow, Fluttershy actually went on the big coaster with Dash. And DASH was the one who got the most scared about it. That was a pretty good joke, especially with Viva Las Pegasus in mind. Although it doesn't make all that much sense for a sporty thrill seeker like Dash, with super speed as a power no less, to be this scared of a roller coaster. Unless it is a fear of heights, which the visuals seem to support. Which would be hilariously ironic for Dash of all people to have.

"You were very brave." Dash blushes. "You too, by the way." More shipping fuel! They just keep pouring it on this episode.

Wow, that's a really old nerd stereotype selling apples there. He got suspenders and a bow tie and everything. I think this episode needs its Topical Teen Culture card revoked. Anyway, he is clearly just here to be terrible at his job and prove why Applejack most definitely should have gotten it instead. Because only a true Apple can run an apple candy store. Or something like that. Its a little contrived, is all.

Valencia's idea to give the band members specific roles for the stage performance seems a bit misguided, but again, hardly villainous. It again shows how forced the conflict is, since Flutters is so obviously unsuited for the role (although, after that episode where she ran Rarity's shop, maybe not), and on top of that, the band already HAS its token Bad Girl in Sun Shim, who regularly walks around with spike-studded leather jackets and related accessories, metalhead as she is.

Ok, uploading Fluttershy into her phone is clearly evil, but this comes out of nowhere. It would have been nice if there was a little more setup to this.

"... and do you mind if I eat this salad?" Oh Fluttershy.

I expected the ring in the ring toss to not fit. I did not expect it to just jump right off. That is really blatant cheating when the ring clearly landed on target.

Yep, Rares is cracking under the pressure. The real question is if that Christmas tree cowboy getup is the cause or the result of said cracking.

It seems like everyone is taking their frustrations out on Applejack today. First Rarity cracking up and not acknowledging her worries, then accidentally messing up Sci Twi's ring toss.

"Lighten up, Applejack, there's not always a villain with Equestrian magic out to get us." Your lampshading is not really helping with the overuse of this plot idea, movie. Because there always IS a villain with Equestria magic out to get you seven, specifically. Its getting a bit old. There comes a point where just lampshading is no longer enough. This is, what, the seventh movie where Equestria magic drives the plot in some way? And the fifth in which it does so specifically by corrupting someone into villainy? Its about time the show does something a bit more interesting with this. Like, remember when the girls got superpower crystals? Yeah, doesn't seem like they're doing much of anything with that these days. Nope, its back to "Equestrian magic corrupted someone slightly bad into a monster, now go fix them". And "them" has always been a woman, I should add. Clearly only women are susceptible to the corruption of this magic. Or something.

In other news, Dash is totally lying to Apples about riding the roller coaster so many times. She has even attracted a heckler to refute the claim! This is all pretty funny. Who IS the redheaded heckler, anyway? She's clearly hanging out with Dash here. Also, I have trouble making out what she's saying a bit.

"No frowning allowed!" Oh hey, its the pink fun police! Where has she been half this episode? Clearly, going around policing the fun level of the park, and creating a uniform out of thrown away candy. Which she tries to eat. Pinkie is now THAT kind of person. The person who is not particular about the overal quality, or edibility, of whatever she is eating. I'm not sure making her an eater of gross things is an improvement.

Man, Sci Twi fails so much at ring tossing, even the Flim Flams are getting sick of it. They are even willing to give her a consolation prize and send her home! Of course, the two nerdlings refuse out of honour. Rather violently, too. This is great. Why can't the movie be about their misadventures at the carnival? There really doesn't need to be yet another Equestri Magic-corrupted Monster of the Week, here. These seven generate all the humor, conflict, and action they need all on their own, really. Its great to see how something so innocuous as a carnival really brings out the fear, anger, insecurities and frustration of these characters. This really is more fun to watch than Valencia's vague, plot-enforced villainy.

Seriously, Shimsham's vicious, indignant rage outburst at getting a consolation prize really cracks me

Of course, she manages to win with a careless toss over the shoulder, which really begs the question of how it was rigged to begin with. It must have been rigged with Plot.

Well, Apples is down to blindly accusing Valencia of accusing Fluttershy. It doesn't matter that she's right: she still has absolutely no proof of that. This is clearly just accusations out of jealousy. To answer her question: yes, Apples, you ARE just blaming her because she seems to have replaced you as Rarity's bestie.

"I'm a fake cop, but I can send you to real jail!" What?

Oh god, the fake cop is wearing sock suspenders. Run, Apples. Nothing good can come from someone wearing sock suspenders.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a deputy fun inspector?" The look Apples gives him is priceless.

"This is my work station. It hasn't been fun inspected in years." See what I mean? Who needs a villain? This episode is doing great without one. Applejack's reaction is great, too: she clearly can't believe all this madness is happening to her today.

Yeah, Valencia's biggest "crime" seems to be that she has unreasonably high expectations of what performers will put up with for a role under the given circumstances. A boss having unrealistic expectations is a bad thing, but hardly villainous. The magic phlebontium just makes her more villainous because she can just magically force people to be the way she wants, but I don't feel that was needed to explore this conflict. The flaw is clear enough without resorting to magical shenanigans, and would likely be more interesting to resolve without resorting to superpowers. That's how MOST friendship problems in the main show are solved, after all. Doing less with magic would actually make the plot better in this case.

"Is Vignette zapping my friends with a magical phone? I KNEW she was up to something!" No, Apples, you didn't. You were just jealous of her relationship with Rarity and looking for something, anything, to blame on her. Just because you found something does not make your suspicion any more reasonable. You were Right for the Wrong Reasons here.

"Oh man. Are we trapped in a magical phone?" Yeah, I know. This isn't even the FIRST time they got trapped in a white void realm inside a magic-infused object with a screen. I hope we don't get another race against the clock while the white void room falls apart because the magic object got damaged.

The salad is a Running Gag, now, by the way.

Yep, Valencia is definitely a Pointy-Haired Boss who doesn't know what she wants and changes her mind on a dime. It would be interesting to see how Rarity would deal with this, but the magic shenanigans are probably going to make it a moot point.

Oh, she's NOT getting sucked into the white void quite yet. More Rarity crackups for now, then.

Rarity is exclusively annoyed with Applejack for being absent, despite Dash and Flutters also being absent. She even snaps at Shim Sham over it. I'm not entirely sure why Rarity is angry with her, though. Maybe she feels frustrated because she basically had to beg Apples to not feel bad about her getting her dream job? Or because Apples is not showing any support, or showing pretty open hostility to her boss, for that matter?

Rarity's "are you kidding me?" look to Pinkie after her sleeves comment is great, by the way. Plenty of those little moments in this episode.

Sure, Apples, just loudly yell that no one should go near Vignette, without bothering to explain anything.

"Vignette is EVIL!" Oh Celestia, this is Canterlot Wedding all over again.

"Applejack! She can hear you!" Thanks for showing my point, Pinkie.

Of course, Vignette just replaces her magic phone with a normal one. This is basically a rehash of the Wedding plot. Character discovers evil plan, starts raving madly about evil plan, can't manage to prove it, friends react with dismay at the crazy raving, then the villaiin reveals herself to character only to trap them.

"Applejack! Admit it! You don't care about my parade. . . . is this about our friends, or about you and Vignette? Ever since she gave me this opportunity you've been jealous because she sees my potential but she didn't hire you!" "You're so blind you can't even see she's using you! You only like her because she's always blowing smoke up your chimney. But she does that to everyone! You're not special!" Ouch. Well, there's the subtext romance plot. If we can even call it that at this point. And really, both accusations are pretty much spot on. Apples HAS been incredibly jealous from the outset, and Rares is a bit too easily star struck by Vignette's star power and charm tactics. The romantic subtext is far more painful, however. Rarity is accusing Apples of being jealous of her hanging around with another girl, and Apples responds by telling her she is not special. The reacions of both after that last comment really say it all. This is the Make Up or Break Up scenario for this ship. Apples has deeply insulted her girlfriend, unintentionally, and now has to make it up to her, or the relationship is over.

Oh. Nice subversion. The heroes reason that their friend is reliable enough to believe on her word alone, and immediately confront the villain. And she casually confesses, too. I like that the movie is treating this part intelligently, at least. Imagine how different the Canterlot Weddig would have gone, had the rest of the mane six shown some more faith in Twilight's judgement.

Of course, the heroes then spoil the moment by forgetting what Applejuice JUST told them about Vignette's magical phone, and getting themselves easily captured.

Hey, look, Vignette has put the heroes in one of those doll dress up games. That's pretty clever.

Vignette's design for her perfect band is pretty awful though. Its a weird mashup of several very different designs, and doesn't really fit together very well.

A very nice scene, by the way, with Vignette lost in the moment in the foreground, while Rarity returns out of focus in the background. The plot may have its problems, but the visuals and sound design are definitely on point here.

The scene where Rarity finds out about the replacement band is shot really well, too. Rarity's freaking out and subsequent anger is portrayed really well.

I just can't make out Vignette's dialogue sometimes, though. She has a bit of an odd pronounciation going on sometimes.

"We're no strangers to getting stuck in magical objects." Don't be so confident. You had to be saved from certain doom by someone else, last time. The white void box has basically become the Box Of Hero Damseling at this point.

"If we're in the internet, we can hack our way out." Yes! Agency! And something more interesting than waiting to be rescued! Do it, Sci Twi.

Oh, Rarity's shield blocks magic, too. Well, at least someone's power turned out to be useful today.

"Applejack! Don't go!" This is totally not shipping, you guys, really its not.

Also, Apples has this adorable "told you so" look when Rarity admits she was right all along. Apples loves being right, after all.

Man, the apologies and blushing and hugging and professing of eternal love friendship makes the shipping really, really obvious.

Odd how Rarity suddenly seems to know her friends are trapped in the internet, seeing as no one really understands what the magic-corrupted phone really does with people. The narrative is cheating a little here, by having characters reach conclusions out of nowhere.

And indeed, Twilight has hacked her way to Applejack's phone.

I love how Applejack writes off Sci Twi's technical explanation as "magic". And really, black box programming can sometimes appear like inscrutable magic in the real world.

"How much coding do you know?" "Uhhh... none. I... I can rub two sticks together." Oh, Applejack, you tech illiterate country bumpkin, you.

... What? Seriously? The white void room was an ACTUAL room somewhere in the park this whole time? I'm not sure whether to laugh, or facepalm, or both. It's a nice subversion, I guess, but I also feel this movie is just making fun of itself, or us, at this point.

"We were just sitting in a white room the whole time?" I know, Shimmy. I can't believe it, either. I guess the plot fooled you as well as the audience.

"... and I ended up here, violating all known laws of space and time." Well, I mean, you're right... but these magic shenanigans have been going on for a LONG time, now. After so many magical mishaps, you'd think that this stuff is getting pretty well known by now.

This is the great big white elephant in the room: WHY has no one in the human world outside of the main cast noticed all this magic going on yet? Its like everyone outside the school has this weirdness censor that just ignores all mentions or evidence of magic when the cast is not around.

So. The threat has just been defanged. The resolution now boils down to telling the villain that her phone is just a fancy teleporter, and that her plan is thus, pointless. Way to undermine your villain right before the climax.

Oh, wait, now the threat is... Vignette teleporting lots of people into the same room and squishing them. Kinda lame.

"You do realize if we stop the parade, no one will see all your hard work" Geez, Apples, get your priorities straight. This is NOT the time to worry about that. Besides, its pretty obvious things are not going according to Rarity's vision anyway.

"I'm sure Vignette is getting more corrupted by Equestrian magic every minute." Are you? I really don't know how Equestria magic works anymore. I think Equestrian magic is pulling your leg at this point. Teleporting you to an empty room for absolutely no reason whatsoever...

By the way, Vignette just kept most of Rarity's ideas anyway, so I don't know why she was dimissing them in the first place.

Of course Vignette can't sing to save her life, and the holographic band playing is pretty generic. How does that holographic stuff even work, anyway? Why holograms when its magic? Are the altered band members real persons? Images? What is even going on with that?

Of course the first people Vignette is about to... um... teleport, are the CMC, because hey, we know those, right? There's emotional investment! Except that they are not really in all that much danger to begin with. Yeah, that's the problem with this subversion, it totally deflates the stakes.

"Doesn't matter if they're real. Its what you show people online. This is your chance to be everything you always wanted." "No! Its a chance to LOOK like I've always wanted, but what I really wanted was right in front of me the whole time!" Pan to Apples. Rarity and Apples hold hands. Shippers riot. Rari Jack confirmed as EQG canon.

Sorry Tobias. At least this show kinda makes it work.

Also, hey, guys, remember when we were commenting on teen culture? We are totally following up on it now! This show's message is all about the vapid internets culture not being "real"! You should just be yourself! Don't try to be better than yourself, or improve your image, or create a fictional character to play online, because that's bad!

Uh... Wait...

Yeah, this movie has a kind of weird message about being yourself. I'm not even sure the movie knows what message it wants to give. Just be yourself is a good message, but that doesn't mean creating a persona for yourself, or improving your image, or experimenting with looks, is inherently a bad thing. These are things artists and celebrities have been doing for way longer than internet culture has been around. It feels like the movie is going for some half hearted social commentary on internet culture, and not really knowing what exactly is wrong about it or how it should be fixed, if at all.

And then the cast transforms into all new outfits because... uh... Friendship! And toys! Toys are real! Buy the real toys! Buy them now! With real money!

Yeah, they have transformed into new outfits before, but never so blatantly just to advertise a new wardrobe. There was zero reason to transform here. ZERO. Even Juniper Montage was more of an actual threat than Vignette.

"No amount of online success is worth it, without my real friends to share in it!" Remember kids, your online connections are worthless to you if you don't know them in real life. Now get off the internet and make some REAL friends already!

Yeah, can you tell this movie is written by people who don't care much for the modern internet community?

And then we basically get a repeat of Forgotten Friendship, with the Fantastic Seven using their awesome magical powers to... uh... knock Vignette's phone out of her hand. Like, yeah. It was anticlimactic the last time they did this, and it hasn't exactly improved. What a tame way to defeat a villain.

"... and almost sent an entire crowd of people to squish city." Uh, yeah, but SHE didn't know that. You can hardly blame her for THAT. She simply didn't KNOW what happened to people she flashed away.

"Friends? Huh. I had three million followers, but no real friends." Enough with the overblown social commentary on internet friends not being "real", already. There was absolutely NO suggestion that this character had no "real" friends before this point. And its not like she was a pure internet celebrity to begin with. She never struck me as a friendless loser or loner, quite the opposite, actually. She's the kind of extravert social striver that is bound to have lots of friends, online and off. This movie is a bit clueless about how celebrity works, it seems.

Also, way to shoehorn in an obligatory teaching-someone-about-friendship moment at the end.

And of course Rarity and Applejack are the first to offer this supposedly friendless person their friendship. At least with Wallflower Blush, this gesture was meaningful, because she was an ACTUAL loner. Here, it feels like somewhat of an enforced happy ending to an issue that never seemed to exist in the first place.

"Why are they clapping? Do they even know what's going on?" No, Pinkie, they don't. And lampshading it doesn't make it go away. The crowd cheering makes no sense.

Hey, another cute Flutterdash moment. These two are totally a couple too, now, I bet.

So that's Rari Jack and Flutter Dash covered. Does Sun Light still count? If it does, that only leaves Pinkie.

No one ever ships poor Pinkerton, it seems.

Oh, and here's our obligatory song. And ugh, its all about that social commentary stuff. How dull.

And it has two more Rari Jack moments, and two Flutterdash moments as well. And one more with both pairings, too. And then ANOTHER Rari Jack moment, including a short duet.

And then the movie just ends.

Well, that was quite something. There were definitely funny jokes, and good scenes, and the art and music was pretty good, but the plot was a bit lacking, with the villain being a rehash of what we've seen before, and a twist that deflated rather than heightened the stakes. And the message is rather meh. A bit dissapointing, but fun enough.

The "squishing thousands of people into one room that isn't made to hold that many" thing would still be dangerous, at least in a realistic sense. People dying from being crushed in a crowd has happened in real life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stampede#Human_stampedes_and_crushes

Now, it might be the case that the EQG world operates on "toon physics" and it would just result in Amusing Injuries, but the characters' reactions implied they were expecting more serious danger, especially the mention of the Cutie Mark Crusaders potentially being in the crowd (so if their world operates on "toon physics", the characters themselves aren't aware of it).

Edited by Rainbow on Jul 8th 2018 at 4:48:15 AM

Of course it is, but the point is that the movie is stretching to find ANYTHING imminently dangerous after pretty much undermining the whole initial threat with the White Room Fake Out.

And again, there is a lot of assuming going on with this. No one had a clue what the magic phone was doing before the reveal, and then they suddenly "know" that the phone will just keep pushing people into that room until they squish to death. But we have seen nothing to suggest that will be the case. Maybe the phone would have just teleported them somewhere else. Or not teleported them at all when the room was full. We simply can't tell.

Hell, the whole magic phone thing wasn't even all THAT evil to begin with. It just teleported people to an unlocked room somewhere on the grounds that they could have simply walked out of immediately if they'd only tried. And the only reason they didn't try is because it resembled an earlier white void room that they couldn't just walk out from. So in the end all the phone really did was teleport some people and create fancy holographic replacements. The only way to raise some stakes after that was made clear was to apply Fridge Logic to the situation.

Sunset losing her shit at Flim and Flam's rigged game is the type of content that sustains me.

I really love all the character building bits found in this special.

I love the irony of Dash just being afraid of the roller coaster (just love when EQG makes the girls diverge in general, but this particular bit is extra special).

I really liked the character interactions here. Even putting aside the shipping fuel, the main cast were really allowed to bounce off each better than anything we've seen from EqG before. Some of the jokes actually came close to getting legitimate out-loud laughter out of me, which is definitely a first.

It would have been better if the attempted social commentary were more deep than "we live in a society," though.

Edited by Zennistrad on Jul 8th 2018 at 3:56:36 PM

Just got around to seeing this. Started off a bit cringey, but I like how they lampshaded and put a twist on the usual formula. Like how their reaction to getting magiced into a white void is "oh man, not again". And then of course, it didn't actually happen.

And yes, I can see why people are talking about how this will get dated in record time.

And in light of the second point, the "passing you around" bit becomes a VERY suggestive Double Entendre.

Pretty sure she said "boss you around", not "pass you around".

Edited by storyyeller on Jul 8th 2018 at 6:41:19 AM

Oh. Well, that makes a lot more sense. Like I said, I have some trouble making out what the characters say at times.

The working title for this movie was apparently "Me, My Selfie, and I", if there was any doubt about how desperately this movie wants to stay relevant and hip.

Not that "Rollercoaster of Friendship" is that much better. It is just a tad too glurge-y to me.

Speaking of friendship, that theme is also starting to show its age in this movie. Notice how the main cast just casually makes friends with the villain, who doesn't show all that much remorse over recklessly endagering people with a magic phone she didn't even understand. I mean, forgiveness is important and all, under the right circumstances, but you don't exactly have to become friends with them immediately after defeating them. That's just a bit much.

I think it would do this series (or more likely, the next generation series) good to loosen up a little on the friendship theme and explore other positive social interactions.

The trend of making villains out of barely villainous people is also something they should stop doing. How many of those recent "villains" would even BE villains without Equestrian magic?

Speaking of, isn't it about time they deal with that magic directly, instead of just going after whoever it infects this week?

Edited by Redmess on Jul 8th 2018 at 2:59:56 PM

To be fair, instant villain reformations aren't exactly unheard of in EQG or in the main series.

Also, definitely agree about the magic sudden villainy thing. The beginning reminded me a lot pf Miraculous Ladybug. In Miraculous, the Big Bad has the power to turn anyone who gets angry or upset into a villain of the week, and gives them themed superpowers so they can get their "revenge".

That sounds like an intereseting idea for an unconventional villain. Have the villain be Ladybug, and the mane six be the victims who get turned into villains for minor or perceived slights.

Edit: Nevermind

Edited by storyyeller on Jul 9th 2018 at 10:04:43 AM

Equestria Girls - Rollercoaster of Friendship

"Experience the world like you've never seen it before at the one, the only EQUESTRIA LAND!!!" …why would it be called that? "Equestria" has never been suggested to mean anything in the context of the human world. It's frequently used by the protagonists to refer to the magical kingdom of ponies that Sunset Shimmer illegally immigrated from.

This theme park better be massively horse-themed to justify that name.

"Because you keep changing your mind about the costumes, Vignette Valencia." Well, that's a mouthful of a name.

"Do you know what it means to be in charge of Public Relations for this park?" It means that you're responsible for increasing the level of exposure the park receives outside of paid advertisements. You're in charge of the park's social media presence, you oversee publicity events, you coach people before they're interviewed, you write speeches for spokespeople, etc. You're an advertiser; you do not have any leeway over the costuming of park staff or any function of how the park runs. That's a different department entirely.

"I'm not promoting you." You don't have the authority to make promotion or hiring decisions anyway, unless it's specifically P.R. staff. Neither costume designers nor entertainers fall under your purview. You have zero involvement with the day to day operations of this park.

"Only way to feel better is getting ten thousand Likes with a perfect salad pic!" In what world does a random nobody's salad picture get 10,000 Likes? Also, I see we're using "Random escaped Magic Fiddledydoo does plot stuff because f*ck you, that's why" to explain our villain again. Well, if the bar's set at Juniper Montage, then I guess it won't be hard to pass.

"Hey, did somebody install a new app on my phone?" This moron thinks there's an app for disintegration rays. Wow. Okay, maybe clearing the Juniper Monage standard won't be as easy as I thought.

Especially since her wacky magic doodad that's specially customized by the All-Seeing God of Circumstance to precisely reflect her personality appears to be an only slightly modified version of Juniper's. Yeah, I'm already getting all kinds of Shitty Knock-Off Juniper vibes from this character. Which is a weird choice of character to ape. If you're going to clone a villain, you could at least pick a good one.

"Rarity and I applied for summer jobs at the new theme park." Okay, good to finally have confirmation that we are officially in summer vacation, but also have plans to return to Canterlot High at the end of summer. Which means that a school year has ended and none of these characters have graduated yet, definitively proving that they were not seniors in previous EQG films. Except maybe Sunset Shimmer? She's clearly been through four years of school here based on her Fall Formal photos back in the first EQG.

Though Sunset Shimmer might be forced to repeat a grade as part of her profoundly inadequate punishment for her very serious crimes at the Fall Formal, but you'd think she'd have been suspended for the duration of the school year if that was going to be the case. So help me, if they go back to school later and Sunset's still in their class, there's gonna be a lot of questions.

"Actually, they pay us to go there." Oh, for Celestia's sake. Pinkie, you know what a job is. You work at an ice cream parlor. Why is everybody stupid today?

"Shall we practice answering our phone and sounding calm?" Do people actually do that? Is that a thing?

"You open yours first! No, you open yours first!" Yeah, these two totally became a couple recently. They've got that Honeymoon Phase eagerness towards each other. Pretty sure that's the news Pinkie Pie was sniffing out, and the resumes were just a smokescreen. I mean, why else would Rarity, of all people, apply to be a Carnie when she already has a job working in a dress shop. This is a downgrade for her, but she's talking it up like it's the job of her dreams. Obvious Honeymoon Phase blinders are obvious.

The fact that they hold hands while laughing about their shared enthusiasm for a job Rarity doesn't even really want is pretty unambiguous.

"They said I'm overqualified for Caramel Apple Girl." You totally are, but I'm honing in on the fact that "Girl" is actually in the job title. What, boys need not apply? AJ, you might want to rethink that application you put in, because no good typically comes of hiring practices restricting applicants to women only for positions with no compelling need to be gender-exclusive. Like, if you're applying to a Denny's and you hear the hiring manager is only looking for women, you run the other way because that manager has plans for those women.

"They want me to be Lead Parade Costume Designer!" Fun fact, this has actually happened to me before. "You're overqualified for what you applied for so have a better job instead" is totally a real thing that happens. Nobody likes to hire overqualified people because of turnover intimidation. As a hiring manager, if I were to give Rarity the Caramel Apple Girl position, my immediate concern would be that two days later, she's going to find a better job and quit. I don't want to waste my time and money on someone who won't actually be here for the long haul, so she's rejected. BUT if I also have a pressing need for another job that she fits....

"I didn't get the job. But I'm really happy for you, Rarity." That's actually surprising. Between her experience with both apples and the service industry, one would think AJ getting hired would be a certainty. But then again, given what we've already inferred about the caramel apple stand's manager, she probably wasn't skanky enough. She's all muscle and doesn't waggle her hips to the guy's liking.

"Technically, Rarity didn't get the job either because she got a different job." Mudbriar, is that you?

No, but seriously, she's right. Rarity's application wouldn't even have made it to the caramel apple stand dude due to her overqualification. HR passed her up the chain instead.

"So they're probably about to send you another email with your promotion!" …your optimism is enviable, Twilight, but no. AJ was not overqualified. She was appropriately qualified. She was just rejected because her top's not cut low enough.

"Forty percent off! …oh, sorry. Not helping." RAINBOW DASH. You used super-speed to remove yourself from an awkward situation, even though there was no pressing need for super-speed. WE HAD A WHOLE SHORT ABOUT THIS.

"Well, I'm not going to accept it without you, obviously." HONEYMOON PHASE

"Think of all those vision boards. The late-night sewing. This has been your dream since Kindergarten." Applejack knows how Rarity spends her late nights. HONEYMOON. PHASE.

"My mind is made up! We planned to spend summer together and that's what we're going to do!" HONEY. MOON. FAZE.

"I have a good feeling about you, Rare!" See, this is the problem with this whole "Random wacky bolt of magic enchants a thing and it's totally the thing a character needs to become evil and then also that character coincidentally happens to run into the Friendcrips" thing. These random burst of magic plots are as coincidence-driven as the Bullshit Map.

Where are all the people with magic super-artifacts that don't conveniently run into the Friendcrips and learn the value of friendship? Given the likelihood of them having run into three of these people so far entirely by random, wacky circumstance - I'm not counting Wallflower because she deliberately sought them out - the city must be swarming with magic-users abusing their new powers for personal gain by now.

"I don't even know why you applied for a job like that!" Neither does she, honestly. It just seemed like a good idea because her capacity for making sound life choices at this stage has been greatly diminished. We already saw that AJ got so excited that she quit her job in advance - without notice, mind you; she just up and walked out - before she even had a job offer! Neither of these two are thinking clearly right now. The Honeymoon Phase makes a dumbf*ck out of you, especially when you're young and hormonal and don't know better.

"Which is why I wouldn't have taken the job, but that's just me." You literally told her to. It was an order. You put your boot down, which is kinda domineering for this stage of the relationship! You don't get to turn around and be passive aggressive about this!

Young Goddamn Love. It is the worst thing. "I love you and want you to do what makes you happy but also    I HATE YOU FOR DOING IT    because my emotions flip every three seconds!"

"Somebody tell me why this picture has 20,000 Likes?" It's the voice and the bed. At least 10,000 of those are dudes thinking that her next shot will have a boob in it.

"Spendin' all that time just to look good in a picture ain't my idea of fun." Tragically, that is exactly why you were rejected from the caramel apple stand. But it's cool. You can do better than that place, AJ.

"She's my best friend at the park!" Valencia, run. I'm not shitting you. Run for your goddamn life.

The Friendcrips once threatened to beat the crap out of a pair of shopkeepers for not returning to AJ a guitar they had legally purchased. Flim and Flam had every right to refuse her, and they still narrowly escaped being the next headline on gang violence. Valencia, you do not want to find out what's going to happen if AJ thinks you stole her girlfriend. Jesus Christ.

"That's been my power phrase since I started my first company." Nice boast, but if you're a wealthy entrepreneur, why are you working P.R. for an amusement park? Valencia reeks of "Rich kid from an Old Money family". I bet she doesn't even have a resume.

"Naysayers gonna nay!" Yeah, okay. I take it back. She's definitely passed the Juniper Montage bar. Valencia is obnoxious in just the right ways to be a treat to watch. She's pretty much a walking Millennial Bogeyman. She's exactly what rich white guys picture when they think of millennials.

"Did you mean 'best friend, comma, at the park'?" AJ's jealousy is delightful.

"I don't know why you're giving me your frowny eyebrows." "It's nothing." PASSIVE. AGGRESSIVE.

"We know every song by heart. Wouldn't you rather go have some fun?!" That's how shitty performances happen! Just because you know the songs inside and out, that doesn't mean you don't need practice.

And then this happened. Wow. Okay. So apparently Flutterdash is a thing in the Equestria Girls world as well. I know someone who's going to be thrilled to see this special now.

"I wish I'd gone with Sunset and Twilight. Or Pinkie Pie. Or anyone else in the entire park." And then Rainbow Dash was the worst. Date. Ever. Eeyup. I believe it.

"These kids are so brave." Credit where it's due, Rainbow Dash actually got in the coaster with her.

"Want to take a break and go get a caramel apple?" "I'd love to, darling, but I am a tad super insanely busy!" PROTIP: The correct thing for Applejack to do in this situation is to acknowledge how much Rarity has on her plate and offer to go get the caramel apples and bring them back here. This allows Rarity the flexibility to only take a quick five or ten minute break while on the premises and available to her staff, rather than the hour or so away from her work entirely that it would have taken to walk across the park, stand in line, spend some time with AJ, and then return.

You know what's funny about this special? It's a complete reversal of "Applejack's 'Day' Off". AJ's trying desperately to get Rarity to just spend some time with her, but Rarity can't take five minutes away from her work to actually relax with her.

"I mean, look! A four hundred foot vertical drop right into these loop-de-loops and a corkscrew!" Rainbow Dash continues to be the worst date ever. Seriously, Rainbow, you are not helping right now.

"You were very brave." It seems beyond weird that Rainbow Dash would actually freak out about this ride. But remember that the characterizations aren't 1 for 1 between EQG and MLP. We've already seen in previous EQG products that Rainbow's kind of the responsible leader figure for the group. Sunset Shimmer's experience puts her in charge whenever it's about magic and friendship and shit, but when it comes to making sure everyone's together and having fun, Rainbow Dash tends to call all the shots. It's basically the same role that pony Applejack has: looking out for the team and making sure everypony's on the same page and doing what needs doing.

The idea that Rainbow Dash is more bark than bite makes sense and fits with this more responsible characterization. She wants to be the cool outgoing daredevil that her pony counterpart is, but her survival instinct and sense of risk assessment is much more developed and it undermines her boldness.

"Apples! Caramel apples over here!" …okay, the fact that Micro Chips apparently got hired for the Caramel Apple Girl position raises so many questions. He can't be the skeevy manager. He's way too young to actually be in charge of the stand.

"Vignette said she wanted 'Cool Nerd Chic'." Aha! That makes sense. Vignette must have pulled some strings using her bizarrely universal authority - her parents probably own the park - to overrule the skeevy manager. That makes way more sense than me deliberately misinterpreting how many people report to her because that is not what Public Relations means.

"I know what you're thinking. But Vignette, how can I ever thank you for coming up with such a brilliant idea for the parade?" I can't speak for Fluttershy, but what I was thinking was about how remarkably similar your skin tone and hair color is to hers. You could totally be Fluttershy's obnoxious cousin or something.

"Fluttershy: Bad Girl." That's not really pretending to be someone else. That's just letting go of her inhibitions. Fluttershy isn't meek because she's afraid people will hurt her; she's trying not to accidentally hurt them. Give her two pints of apple cider and you'll see some shit, yo.

"But I just thought of a way for us both to get exactly what we want." She's going to vaporize Fluttershy with her phone, knowing that the clones it creates are purely holographic, isn't she? And without a single concern that it might kill Fluttershy because EQG villains make the leap to Sociopathic Murderer alarmingly fast, huh?

"Where am I? And do you mind if I eat this salad?" Oh, the salad's still there. I thought she might at least have tested the phone and discovered a way to release things using the salad, but no. She just potentially murdered Fluttershy without a second thought, because a willingness to flat-out kill people as easily as one picks a flower is somehow supposed to make sense for her characterization. Now she's Juniper Montage.

Also, you'd think Fluttershy would notice how familiar this is, given that it's literally the same goddamn white void that Juniper put her in.

"Do you know what's not rigged? The laws of physics!" The laws of physics don't matter if the game is literally unwinnable, Twilight.

Also, nice to see Flim and Flam here. I'm terribly amused by the fact that the two Friendcrips who run into them are the only two mainstays in the gang that weren't here for the shakedown in "A Case for the Bass". So these two have no reason to whisper to each other and try to avoid attention the way they might if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had happened upon their game.

"You were pretty close, though." No, she wasn't. The game is literally unwinnable.

"Maybe we should try one more time?" Sunset Shimmer's planning to cheat, isn't she? She's going to take them for all they're worth and make them rue the day they failed to account for the Friendcrips' new members.

"Maybe tonight won't be a disaster after all?!" Electric clothes?! Isn't that a fire hazard?!

No. It's a FUN hazard.

"Are you honestly asking me this right now?!" I just realized that Rarity has her annoying superpower geode sewn into her dress, rather than wearing it on a string like the others are doing. That has to be a hassle to take out and replace whenever she changes clothes.

"COME ON!!!" Nope. Sunset somehow legitimately missed the fact that the rings are clearly springlaunching back off the bot—

…

You know what, never mind. Of course she missed the obvious cheat despite knowing damned well that the game's rigged. She's a pony. Pony Gullibility is in full force here.

"Bet you thought I forgot about friction, air drag, and varying initial velocities." I don't think they even know what those are. They're pretty sure you forgot about the obvious tiny spring.

"I don't like to lose." We know, Sunset. It's what's fun about you. Despite your rainbow lobotomy, you still have those brief moments where the villain in you gets to come out. Your hypercompetitiveness is the most common place for you to slip back into malevolence. It works because it's a character trait that makes sense and works as a flaw that's consistent with who you were as a villain, not unlike Trixie's shallow self-centeredness. It fits much better than Starlight's thing where she sometimes likes to mind control ponies because reasons.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PARAKEET!!!" And then she was evil again! Looking forward to Princess Twilight finding her rummaging around the castle, trying to figure out what happened to the Elements of Harmony so that she can steal them and DESTROY THAT WRETCHED CARNIVAL GAME!!!

"Maybe I want her to be my prime suspect because she's Rarity's new best friend at the park. Am I goin' crazy over a whole lot of nothin'?" A very good question that you should probably be asking Rarity.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a Deputy Fun Inspector?!" Pinkie. How. HOW?! I…I want to call shenanigans on this, but it's Pinkie Pie.

"It hasn't been Fun Inspected in years." …Fun Inspectors are a real….

Actually, yeah. Given that this is an amusement park, there would be people whose job it is to pretend to be a customer and grade the park on its aesthetic, entertainment value, etc. So. I guess we'll just add impersonating park employees to the list of Friendcrip crimes. Although they are technically being contracted by the park, just in a different capacity. And Applejack did try to tell the guard the truth, before totally taking advantage of his misunderstanding.

"Is Vignette zapping my friends with a magical phone!? I knew she was up to somethin'!" Eeyup. Good news, Applejack! We're goin' Canterlot Wedding today. You don't need to learn a valuable lesson about letting your jealousy run away with you because the person you were unreasonably spiteful towards from literally the moment you met her really was an evil villain all along!

"If you're so innocent, then how do you explain this?!" That's actually a good question. We see that she swiped that phone off its charger and I guess whoever actually owns it doesn't put any kind of lock code on their phone - weird, but not unheard of. But how did she know to do that in the first place? She had no reason to suspect that AJ had witnessed her abducting Rainbow Dash or that she would have sufficient knowledge of Equestrian magic to easily deduce that her phone must be magical.

This scene is the product of straight-up psychic script-reading.

"Nothing's bigger than the parade!" "I know you didn't just say that about your missing friends!" Honeymoon's over.

"Ever since she gave me this opportunity, you've been jealous because she sees my potential but she didn't hire you!" Which is 100% an accurate criticism. Unfortunately, the narrative has conspired to make Applejack objectively right, so Rarity is consequentially forced to come across looking like she's just ignorantly blowing smoke and being needlessly combative. Rarity should be in the right here, but is instead forced to wear the Bad Guy Hat because her valid points have already been refuted by circumstantially-generated objective fact.

In giving Applejack a legitimate reason to hate Valencia, any value this story had in exploring jealousy has been lost. It is now just a stupid Adventure plot wearing the mutilated carcass of a potentially compelling Slice of Life story. Just like "A Canterlot Wedding".

"You only like her because she's always blowin' smoke up your chimney!" WOW, AJ. Gonna need a PG-rating for that remark. She even thrusts a finger upwards, just in case the fact that she's referring to Rarity's genitals somehow went unnoticed. That is "under the enemy scrotum" levels of subtlety, right there.

"Maybe I should just go." "Maybe you should." I love this moment. The way AJ actually notices that she went too far and her features soften, but it's too late. The damage is done. And Rarity holds herself together just long enough that AJ can't see her before she breaks down crying. This is beautiful tragedy, right here.

"Waiting is for waiters, ladies!" And then this stupid A-plot swoops in and ruins it. F*ck off, Valencia. I meant what I said before about you being more fun than Juniper, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a malignant plot tumor on an otherwise fascinating story about the highs and lows of young love. This story didn't need a villain. It is actively weakened by the presence of one. Valencia is interesting for the conflict she introduces to Applejack and Rarity's relationship; all this stuff about her magic phone not only contributes nothing, it actively undermines that story by screwing up its dynamics. She'd be a better character if she was just a self-absorbed rich girl that Rarity admires.

"Like, trapped in the internet as zeroes and ones or erased from existence or something?" Wow. Wow. They straight up had her admit that she is totally a cold-blooded murderer and doesn't give a f*ck. And just like Juniper, that feels completely unearned by her justifying motive for her heinousness.

"Fine. If you want to be with them so bad, I'll do you this one last favor." Rarity. Rarity. You have projectile weapons. You could have stopped this at any moment. Rarity. Why are you being stupid?

I swear, this f*cking A-Plot is killing this special. The background premise is much more interesting than the idiotic villain confrontation. Just like Juniper Montage.

"We're no strangers to getting stuck in magical objects." Thank you, Rainbow Dash. Finally, someone said it.

"Okay, that was your cue to disappear." The shield is a nice touch, but I still maintain that a projectile would be better. There's no reason for Rarity to be allowing this fight to continue when she can push her diamonds forward and actually hit Valencia with it.

"I can't believe I listened to you over Applejack!" What the hell even was that?! She threw a bunch of sparkly diamonds with zero force that somehow blinded Valencia? And then ran away rather than trying to take the phone. Goddammit, Rarity.

"I really screwed things up with Rarity." Nope. You had your chance to have AJ learn a valuable lesson and you blew it by making her objectively correct about everything. You don't get to milk drama out of her now.

"Stop flattering me! I'm not finished apologizing!" And therein is the problem. Because the universe conspired to make Valencia into a supervillain, Rarity is somehow the designated bad guy in this conflict. All she did was pour her heart into the job that AJ literally ordered her to accept, but because she took her work seriously and tried everything in her power to meet her boss's insane standards rather than half-assing it and chilling with her pals while on the clock, the movie asserts that she is a terrible human being and must prostrate herself before AJ for forgiveness.

This moral could not be more backwards if it tried. Rarity did nothing wrong. She only took the job because AJ wanted her to, and her great crime is not slacking off in her workplace but instead demonstrating the solid work ethic and passion for her craft that fans love her for. That she did not skip out on her job for her girlfriend's sake is an admirable quality, not a wicked character flaw.

The film's trying to pull attention away from that by also shaming her for not instantly accepting that whatever her girlfriend says about her friends must be true and instead using her own judgment and experience to measure them by. Which is also admirable and not at all something for which she needs to apologize. Rarity did all the right things here, but the narrative conspired to punish her for being her own person and not solely defining herself by Applejack.

F*ck the A-plot. It ruined everything good about this special.

"And I'm sorry I got jealous." This, right here, is the apology that should have concluded the special. But it falls flat right now, because AJ's already been proven objectively right. Nothing bad actually came of her jealousy; by the time she confronted Vignette, she had witnessed Vignette's cackling malevolence for herself. Her jealousy was visible throughout the special but never actually drove her to do anything. She kept her hostility to herself and only attacked Vignette for valid reasons. Applejack has also done nothing wrong, even though she very much should have.

These apologies and lessons are entirely unearned, and it's all because Vignette's an evil sociopath with a magic murderphone. Completely ruined this special.

"What?! We've been wastin' all this time chin-waggin' about feelin's?!" Applejack's attitude here is the exact reason for why this special wound up sucking a lot harder than it needed to.

"Really, y'all?" …I want to laugh at the absurdity of this, but it just sorta feels like a cheap cop-out at this point. Why would there be a random white room in the park? Why would nobody even try the door if one was available? And how convenient was it that not only were the walls apparently paper-thin to allow AJ to hear Twilight, but she was also in the exact right area of the park to hear her in the first place?

This kind of absurdity is lazy, not funny.

"This crowd isn't cheering enough for my tastes." And then she moved up to spree killing, because why not?

"This is the version of your friends that will be popular." Excuse you. The Rainbooms are already popular. You, yourself were fangirling over how popular they were when Rarity first introduced them to you.

…and then Rarity had a laser whip, because…f*ck it, gotta wrap this shit up somehow.

"I have three million followers and no real friends. How pathetic is that?" And now we arrive at the part where we're supposed to feel bad for the deranged attempted serial murderer who has, to this point, not once expressed any kind of redeemable traits or humanizing characteristics or even a complex motive to work from. I normally like the emphasis on forgiveness and redemption that My Little Pony has, but I really don't appreciate how far out of their way they went to really drive home how mindlessly evil this character is, and that makes it hard to buy into the resolution.

Well, that was…it was a thing, alright. There's a lot to like about this special, but the likable qualities get dimmer and dimmer as it progresses. Vignette is basically a Mulligan on Juniper Montage; she's the same character with the same story, but with more charisma. But like everything else, as the plot progresses and her entertaining douchiness is supplanted by homicidal villainy, her character weakens and her interesting qualities wane.

By the time the third act rolls around, the special's lost sight of everything that was once good about it and it never recovers from there.

It's not the worst thing that's ever been done with the Equestria Girls franchise. But that malignant plot tumor leaves it a far cry from the best.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Jul 9th 2018 at 10:07:35 AM

Yeah, a lot of the later EQG movies could actually be improved by removing the magically enhanced villainy. At this point, the magical shenanigans are starting to hurt the genuinely interesting ideas this spinoff show has.

I think its because the writers really want to just write a slice of life story for these characters, but they are constrained by the (real or imagined) requirement that a movie must have a big villain.

And Applejack did try to tell the guard the truth, before totally taking advantage of his misunderstanding.

I don't think the guard misunderstood. I think he wanted to help her out without officially saying so. Notice how he keeps conspicuously winking at her.

This is actually part of the reasoning behind my "Friendcrips" gag.

Fighting your way into a gang is one of the generally accepted methods of gaining membership. You impress the leader by getting your ass kicked by him and his boys but showing grit.

These villain conflicts are so obligatory and half-assed that the resolutions just feel completely unearned. The offer of friendship at the end seems more like it's being done because that's just how the story's supposed to end than because it makes any sense for the characters. As a result, it often comes across to me less like,

• Villain: I now understand the error of my ways. All I ever wanted was a friend, this whole time! Truly, I have seen the light. Thank you, kind and noble souls, for saving me.

and more like,

• Sunset: Well, that's over. Hey, want to join my gang? The Flimflam Brothers cheated me and one of my girls so we're going to go show them what's what. Then I'm thinking bake sale. You in?

Edited by TobiasDrake on Jul 10th 2018 at 9:14:47 AM

You wanted a lesbian teen drama, you got a magical girl show.

Didn't even get that. Sailor Moon wouldn't be caught dead fighting some asshole's cell phone. At the very least, the phone would turn into a monster and she'd have a five-minute slugfest where she crushes it to death under the weight of stock footage.

Which is kinda what happened with Juniper Montage, but her monster form was just Very Tall Juniper and she didn't fight any Magical Girls.

"Legend of the Everfree" was the last time EQG ever had an appreciable Magical Girl fight as its closer. Everything since then has just done half a fight.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Jul 10th 2018 at 11:04:30 AM

Yeah, the girls doing their Friendship Power Up only to basically slap the phone out of her hand and give her a stern talking to was hilariously out of place. Nothing about this situation needed super powers. Nothing about this needed a Rainbow Death Ray. Really, all Rarity had to do was walk up to the villain, take her phone, and apply her boot to the thing.

Speaking of which.

Redmess, in your review, you pointed out that Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Sunset just stood there and let Vignette camera-flash them away despite knowing what her phone was.

I was thinking about the idiocy in that moment. For added absurdity, remember that Twilight has telekinesis.

Sailor Moon wouldn't be caught dead fighting some asshole's cell phone. At the very least, the phone would turn into a monster and she'd have a five-minute slugfest where she crushes it to death under the weight of stock footage.

Amusingly, there is an episode of Lolirock where that is literally what happens (well they fight a cellphone turned into a monster anyway. I don't think it is quite five minutes of stock footage).

Edited by storyyeller on Jul 10th 2018 at 9:43:53 AM

Next EQG announced at SDCC with a trailer. Storm King, or at least his staff, is still a thing and finally, someone other than Sunset gets to go to Equestria (Sci-Twi and Dash).

Edited by AkoSiKuya23 on Jul 20th 2018 at 12:44:14 PM

YOSH. You had me at "Someone other than Sunset gets to go to Equestria".

It's kinda weird that Sci-Twi has wings in her MG form but not in her actual pony form. It makes sense due to MLP lore, but it doesn't quite gel.

Not really, I mean, she's not really the same character, so why WOULD she get wings?

Another EQG, so soon after the last one? Or is this for next year?

Hey, they are adressing my complaint that they never do something about the leaking Equestrian magic. About time!

Edited by Redmess on Jul 21st 2018 at 1:00:21 PM