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Pro-promiscuity attitudes as reactions to prudish attitudes?:

So I recently came across this video, and in the comments to it I (mostly rhetorically) asked why my generation treats promiscuity as something to strive for.

First response was to claim that it is out of rebellion to previous generations that treat sex as something dangerous to stay away from. This is the impression I occasionally get myself, but it's not the only explanaion for it, and to whatever extent it's true, I think it's at best flawed reasoning, as I later pointed out in that comments section. * *

So I guess the purpose of this thread is twofold; to discuss how much of it is "out of rebellion" to previous generations' attitude towards sex, (and what one would base that on either way) and to discuss what is the level of merit to such a reason.

edited 22nd May '12 8:22:43 AM by HiddenFacedMatt

"I even like the idea of a nice man who sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake. And that man is Barack Obama." - Bill Maher
 2 Best Of, Tue, 22nd May '12 10:04:02 AM from Finland Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
Please describe the YT video in the OP so that people who can't for some reason follow the link can still participate.
Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
[up] The video is basically about the Facebook CEO getting married to his girlfriend he was with for several years, and people who react by saying he should have just used his fame and money to have sex with as many women as possible.

However, the thread does not rely on the video, as I was simply using one thing mentioned in it as an example of a broader phenomena.

edited 22nd May '12 10:14:20 AM by HiddenFacedMatt

"I even like the idea of a nice man who sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake. And that man is Barack Obama." - Bill Maher
 4 Barkey, Tue, 22nd May '12 10:28:55 AM from Bunker 051 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
War Profiteer
I suppose I've done this before in jest.

I have a friend who is a christian, and is saving herself for marriage. When we were growing up I would tease her about it, call her a prude, et cetera. Eventually it pissed her off when I made some comment about how the first time is always awkward and that it'd be a real downer on her honeymoon, and I stopped when she told me it bugged her.

Honestly I'm kind of prudish myself. I'll talk about the most disgusting things sexual I can think of if it's in the context of a good joke, but when it comes to my personal preferences I'm a lights off missionary position with lots of cuddling afterward kind of guy, and very rarely discuss those details with anybody, and get openly embarrassed when they ask.

I mean seriously, that last line took serious pains just to write.

So basically I'll talk about how some girl looks like she'd be a really good lay until she decided to jump on top and then take a dump on your chest, but if someone were to ask me how the sex was with my last girlfriend, I'd probably just blush and clam up.
The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
Euo will do!
Uh. Feel free to kick me, Barkey, but... I got a strong urge to glomp you with that admission.

Now, my question is... if my generation (if another generation I am) was not pushing the envelope... and my mother's generation (born '40s, swinging in the '60s)... then... uh. What the heck were we doing?

Not that I tried to annoy my mum with promiscuity. No effing point: I knew full well that whatever I'd feel like doing, she'd been there first. [lol]

edited 22nd May '12 10:43:55 AM by Euodiachloris

"When all else failed, she tried being reasonable." ~ Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb
 6 Barkey, Tue, 22nd May '12 10:45:34 AM from Bunker 051 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
War Profiteer
I was a pretty easy to maintain child in that department.

Most of the time, anyway. My mom was super tolerant of just about anything, mostly because she knew I don't waste my time with women who I don't think are interesting, and that most women who are interesting aren't sluts with diseases.

Relationships involve 90 percent talking and interaction, 10 percent sex(if you're lucky).

That 90 percent is important as hell.
The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
Euo will do!
Yeah: I think my mum worked out a fantastic way to get me thinking about things. She talked me through some basic techniques at various points. I learned not to start her up if I didn't want graphic details.

Dad did the dirty on my brother, so... he didn't manage to escape, either.

Pincer manoeuvres: some parents know how.
"When all else failed, she tried being reasonable." ~ Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb
Engrish scholar
There are a lot of people there that arenīt really promiscuity, ones because cant, but others choose to. I mean, lots. Lots of people who just want a partner.

But maybe feels like that becouse the youth today are, you know, young. I think the difference between 15~45 itīs discretion, clear ideas and hormones.

I think everything itīs OK.

edited 22nd May '12 10:54:04 AM by Picheleiro

 9 Barkey, Tue, 22nd May '12 10:55:07 AM from Bunker 051 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
War Profiteer
I guess I don't match my generation well.

I'm not a "WOO PARTY AND BITCHES!" kind of guy. I'm a "YEAH BITCH GO TO THE GYM AND THEN WATCH NETFLIX ALONE!!!" kind of guy.

edited 22nd May '12 10:55:21 AM by Barkey

The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
[up][up] ... what?
"I even like the idea of a nice man who sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake. And that man is Barack Obama." - Bill Maher
 11 Aceof Spades, Tue, 22nd May '12 6:20:01 PM from The Wild Blue Yonder Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I think the whole "must have sex thing" is partly a response to parents trying to keep their kids from doing it. And frankly, I think parents are usually right on that. Teens are too young to properly handle the consequences of sex. That and there's still the lingering thought that a guy that can't get laid is a loser.

But generally, given things like the Sexual Revolution that my mother is old enough to have participated in (to what degree I've never asked but she was apparently engaged three times before meeting my dad) I don't think we're really rebelling against our parent's attitudes as a generational group anymore. It's just that young people having sex is being sensationalized more these days.

On the whole, I think our culture has a currently unhealthy obsession with sex.
 12 Loni Jay, Tue, 22nd May '12 6:30:32 PM from Australia Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
I suppose an interesting question is: If it is due mainly to a backlash, then will we see a turnaround for the next generation? tongue Will our children be all about commitment and saving it for marriage, in rebellion against our generation's 'sex is just fun' attitudes?

Either way, hopefully the gender double standard will disappear as time goes on, regardless of what the 'promiscuity/abstinence-till-marriage' scale does.
Be not afraid...
 13 drunkscriblerian, Tue, 22nd May '12 7:39:41 PM from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
@Loni: I dunno, it's been a while since promiscuity was ever the norm...assuming that was ever true. [lol]

Personally I don't view promiscuity as any sort of "reaction" or "backlash" against/because attitudes of prudishness or abstinence. The fact remains that some people want sex more than others...horny people have always existed and likely always will exist. In my experience the voracious appetites have always been judged more harshly, but I could be wrong there.

The trick here is leveling the playing field so that everyone can indulge to the limit of their comfort zone without judgment...and making sure everyone is making an informed decision.
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed.

~Cora M. Strayer~
Moar and Moar and Moar
"Commitment" and "saving it for marriage" are NOT the same thing.

My friends are not of the "Bro" culture, by and large so we generally don't partake or see partaken in too much promiscuity, and people are generally looking for at least medium-term relationships with an eye to long-term (there are exceptions, of course, but this isn't people hooking up for a night. This is people getting in a relationship for a few months before one of the parties leaves college)

Actually, my experience, and from what people tell me at least from my part of the world is that people my age are quicker to get into real long-term relationships, even if they're not as quick to marry.
Democracy is the process in which we determine the government that we deserve
 15 Barkey, Tue, 22nd May '12 10:04:07 PM from Bunker 051 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
War Profiteer
^

NEEERRRRDS!

Just kidding. I'm gonna go watch netflix and eat a pint of ice cream now.
The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
Moar and Moar and Moar
Pffft. It's true.

That said, I think there's more young people eating ice cream and watching netflix than ever before.

One interesting aspect of this, I think, is actually the rise of Facebook which allows local communities to form around things other than the local bar scene. I know locally this has actually put a huge dent in these things.
Democracy is the process in which we determine the government that we deserve
Engrish scholar
@Hidden Faced Matt

Like Drunk-something sayed:

"Personally I don't view promiscuity as any sort of "reaction" or "backlash" against/because attitudes of prudishness or abstinence. The fact remains that some people want sex more than others...horny people have always existed and likely always will exist. In my experience the voracious appetites have always been judged more harshly, but I could be wrong there."

I dont see very much more promiscuity in the young people today than in the generation of my parents (45 or so). And that can be explain -I think-. because they are young and so. The youth speaks more freely about sex, and some of them are blatant neglected where and with who talks about the people brought down. But that is my opinion.

The main idea Itīs that I believe that dont exist more promiscuity between adult and youth today that cant be explain by the age.

P.D: I dont like the word horny, by the way.

edited 23rd May '12 12:59:05 AM by Picheleiro

That and there's still the lingering thought that a guy that can't get laid is a loser.
That explains the part about those who look down on guys who are virgins, but not the part about looking down on a guy who they know could have more promiscuous sex but chooses to settle down with his significant other, which is the attitude referenced in the linked video.

Will our children be all about commitment and saving it for marriage, in rebellion against our generation's 'sex is just fun' attitudes?
Well, as I pointed out in the OP, there are various attitudes that could each contrast with each other in different ways, so I don't think there's necessarily a specific direction in which rebellion would take it.

That, and the "just for fun" part is more in line with human instinct, thus probably less prone to backlash. If there ends up being a greater generational concern about saving it for relationships, it would end up being analogous to our generation's environmental concerns, what with calling the previous generation shortsighted and all that...

I dunno, it's been a while since promiscuity was ever the norm...assuming that was ever true.
I'm sure if you look back far enough in our evolutionary history we'll find something.

edited 23rd May '12 5:04:43 PM by HiddenFacedMatt

"I even like the idea of a nice man who sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake. And that man is Barack Obama." - Bill Maher
 19 tricksterson, Thu, 24th May '12 6:17:42 AM from Behind you with an icepick Relationship Status: I made a point to burn all of the photographs
Never Trust
And here I thought the push to promiscuity was because fucking is fun, feels good and is a natural and basic human urge. Silly me.
If it's an authority figure and it's breathing it's guilty
 20 Qeise, Thu, 24th May '12 6:26:37 AM from sqrt(-inf)/0 Relationship Status: Waiting for you *wink*
Professional Smartass
I'm sure if you look back far enough in our evolutionary history we'll find something.
I'm not sure you'd need to go that far back. At least Romans have a reputation for going about it pretty freely, and if you did some digging I think you'd find more cultures that where less stiff about it.
Laws are made to be broken. You're next, thermodynamics.
The Wordnomnom
I dont know how it splits generationally be current trends are more in favor of promiscuity as acceptable and harsher on adultery than people of the last few decades.

  • shrug*

Just thought I would sum up that statistic from a recent nursing course. It speaks to a changing societal view, but didnt offer a breakdown by age group.
While the breath's in his mouth, he must bear without fail, / In the Name of the Empress, the Overland Mail.
 22 0dd 1, Thu, 24th May '12 8:05:14 PM from Nowhere Land
Just awesome like that
Not for nothing, but can it just be that (on average) as people get older their sex drives decline and thus they aren't going to be as gung-ho about going out and doing people anymore? People do tend to change their views as they get older. I'm sure many of the people who were involved in the Sexual Revolution aren't as keen on promiscuity anymore, despite them being largely responsible for promiscuity becoming more socially acceptable.
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 23 drunkscriblerian, Wed, 30th May '12 11:24:25 PM from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
[up]As someone who is getting older, it isn't so much that the drive declines...it's that the body's less inclined to it and there's just more other stuff that needs doing. I still want to fuck as much as I ever did, but I find myself doing it less because after a long day of working, chores and other responsible shit I'd usually rather go to bed and sleep than do another 30-45 minutes of physical activity, fun as it might be.

Also, bodies age...it's an ucky fact of life. Lumps and bulges appear where there used to be none, hair falls out (or grows where you don't want it), waistlines expand, breasts make a run for the waistline, whatever. All of these factors combine to make middle-aged people much less likely to want to be seen naked by anyone, including their partners.

I've heard this refrain from many other people in my age bracket, so make of that whatever you will.

edited 31st May '12 1:13:14 AM by drunkscriblerian

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed.

~Cora M. Strayer~
Euo will do!
[up]Agreed. I hit it sooner. I got ill. That resets priorities, regardless of wishes and wants.
"When all else failed, she tried being reasonable." ~ Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb
 25 Gabrael, Thu, 31st May '12 11:07:00 AM from My musings Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
A Polar Bear Named Gabrael
In my experience, being able to talk about one's sexual prefrences and choices, regardless of how traditional or exotic, is more acceptable. Rule 34 exists for a reason. Even on this site there are dozens of threads relating to sexual issues on some facet.

It probably feels like the more recent generations are more permiscuious because of this open line of communication. But that doesn't make it so.

I will encourage my son to wait until he is out of high school if at all possible before he has sex. But if I do my job right we can have the relationship where he will feel safe (abeit maybe embarassed) to talk with me about sex and his choices/decisions honestly with me.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx
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